Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
JASPER
This was so stupid. I didn’t want to come to this thing.
I should’ve argued more. If it wasn’t for the promise of food after days of takeout because Zero couldn’t cook to save his damn life, I would’ve outright refused.
But I was getting tired of pizza and my moms never taught me to cook.
Mom said she’d teach me soon, but hadn’t gotten around to it, and Mama was like Zero.
Couldn’t be trusted in the kitchen with anything more complicated than a toaster.
The thought of my parents made my chest ache and the familiar urge to grab something and throw it made my fingers twitch.
My eyes flicked automatically to Isla, tracking her as she munched happily on one of those baby cracker things that she didn’t need real teeth to eat.
She was the only reason I hadn’t left yet.
I had to watch out for her. Mama made me promise when she was born that I’d protect her.
My gaze drifted to the idiot who took us in.
It was kind of insane that the social worker trusted him.
He was clueless. He couldn’t cook worth shit, he tried weighing Isla in that vegetable weigher in the grocery store so he could figure out what diaper size to get her, and he kept trying to act all buddy buddy with me even though he didn’t know shit about me.
I almost wanted to ask what his deal was.
Why the hell would he take us in if he couldn’t handle it?
A kid about my age hopped off the porch and headed my way. I felt my spine stiffen and I glared at him as he approached. I didn’t recognize him, and I didn’t want him thinking I wanted to make friends. I had friends. I had to leave them all behind when–
“Hey,” he greeted with a quick upnod.
“What?” I growled back.
He didn’t flinch or get offended by my tone like some of the other kids at school did. He just came to stand beside me, leaning against the house and watching over the yard without a care. Asshole. He probably had it easy his whole life.
“I’m not interested in this bullshit playdate, so if you’re coming over here to make friends, forget it. I don’t need friends.”
He shrugged, unconcerned. “That’s fine.”
I blinked at him, surprised. “What?”
What was the whole point of coming over here, then?
Pushing off the wall, he looked at me with what looked like understanding in his eyes. It pissed me off. He didn't understand shit.
“Look, I know you’re feeling like it's you against the world right now. I felt the same way when I showed up. Mel always says to me that we’re allowed to take our own time to figure stuff out. Just, maybe give these guys a chance. They just want to help.”
He started to walk away, but his comment confused me and I couldn’t help but demand, “What do you mean when you showed up?”
Looking over his shoulder at me, the kid gave me a blank look. “I only tell that story to my friends. If you feel like making friends, maybe I’ll share it.”
Asshole.
He walked away without another word, throwing an arm around one of the bikers by the grill who looked a lot like him.
I glared at his back. I wasn’t going to listen to his cryptic ass shit.
He didn’t know what he was talking about.
My eyes locked onto Zero again and I scowled at him.
I didn’t need his help. I didn’t need anyone’s help.
I just needed to stick around long enough to turn eighteen, then I was taking me and Isla back home.
ZERO
I’d hoped hanging out with a kid his own age would loosen Jasper up a little bit.
If anything, it seemed to have made things worse.
The look he gave me when Xander walked away was pure rage and defiance.
I got the feeling I was going to hear it from him once we went home.
Was that progress? Or was I just digging myself into a deeper hole?
Xander slipped away from his older brother, coming to stand beside me again. “He’s angry, I’ll give you that.”
“You only talked to him for two minutes,” I pointed out, trying not to whine. I was seriously beat at that point and I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to get through to the kid.
Xander shrugged. “You can’t force it, Zero. Mattias never pushed me. Neither did Mel. They let me come around on my own.”
“So that’s it?” I croaked, glancing again at the kid who looked like he wanted to start a fight with the world as a whole. “I just do nothing?”
“You show up,” Xander corrected. “That’s what Mattias and Mel did for me.
” He looked up at me with the kind of open honesty Jasper had never given me even a glimpse of.
“I don’t know his story, and I don’t want to know unless he wants to tell me, but if he’s anything like me, the most important thing you can do is keep showing up.
He’ll notice, I promise. And be yourself.
He’ll be able to tell if you’re faking.”
My shoulders slumped in defeat and I nodded. Showing up didn’t feel like enough, not when Jasper was having trouble in school and glaring at me at home, but I trusted Xander. That kid went through hell and back. If he said I needed to just keep pushing, I’d do it.
Food was served and instead of joining everyone at the picnic table, Jasper sat on the stairs to the porch, his plate balanced on his lap and a ‘fuck off’ look on his face.
I thought about just leaving him be, but then figured that’d go directly against what Xander had just told me.
I took my plate to the stairs and jerked my chin at the empty spot next to him.
“Can I sit?”
“You going to give me some bullshit lecture about giving people a chance too?” he countered with a glower.
I pursed my lips and thought about how I’d answer if I was being truly honest, not just saying what I thought a parent would say. “That sounds… really fucking boring, if I’m being honest.”
He blinked in surprise, and I took his lack of argument as permission before sitting beside him.
Isla was napping on the picnic blanket nearby with Skylar watching over her.
It’d screw up her sleep tonight, but I didn’t care.
The one thing I learned when Ellie first showed up was to never wake a sleeping baby.
I’d rather have her wake me up babbling than screaming her head off the rest of the night.
“Are you supposed to talk that way to kids?” he finally demanded.
Making a face, I asked, “Do you really want me treating you like a little kid? I figured that’d only piss you off more.”
“No!” he growled. “And I’d hurt you if you tried!”
I didn’t doubt that for a second. I wanted to ask if he was this angry before his moms died, but that felt like dangerous territory. I’d save it for therapy or whatever. I didn’t want him hating me anymore than he probably already did.
We ate in silence for a little while, and I could practically feel the anger vibrating off him.
I tried coming up with something to say to him, but nothing came to mind.
By the time food was finished, I was no closer to getting on his good side than I had been before we arrived.
It didn’t even surprise me when he picked up his sleeping sister and demanded to leave the second he was done eating.
Prez followed us out as I brought Jasper to the truck. He waited until both kids were in the car before asking, “Everything okay?”
“Honestly? Not great,” I admitted, keeping my voice slow so Jasper wouldn’t overhear. “He’s pissed and it’s fuckin’ awkward. I’m starting to worry that I did the wrong thing taking them in.”
“You didn’t,” Prez reassured me, squeezing my shoulder. “He’s been through something awful. He’s allowed to be angry. It’s got nothing to do with you.” He glanced at the SUV, then back at me. “Have you thought about therapy?”
I nodded. “We start later this week. He isn’t happy about it, but Mel suggested it, and I trust her judgment.”
“So do I,” Prez agreed. “Try therapy. At least so you can get to the point where you don’t have to walk on eggshells in your own home. What about the baby? Everything good with her?”
I made a face. “Does frequent blowouts, screaming fits, and waking up like six times a night sound good to you?” I countered.
He snorted and shook his head. “No. Mention it to Mel. She’ll tell you if it's normal or not. And hang in there. If you need a hand, just let me know. I’ll show up, and I know any of the guys will do the same. Just take it one day at a time.”
He patted my shoulder, letting me go and heading back to the barbecue. I tried not to be jealous. I would’ve preferred to stay and be around the crew instead of heading home to the shitshow I’d volunteered to be part of.
I was a fucking idiot.
Like I thought, the late nap meant Isla was up at midnight and full of energy.
Jasper got up before I could, and I heard him talking low to her as I crept out of my room.
He’d grabbed her from her crib and sat with her on the floor, stacking blocks for her to knock over and watching her with a kind of warmth I’d never seen from him before.
I watched from a crack in the door, feeling like an asshole for spying but staying anyway because I didn’t know what else to do.
Jasper sighed when Isla knocked down another tower, babbling happily to her brother. “You just gotta wait a few years. Once I’m old enough, I’ll get us out of here. I’ll adopt you and bring you back home and we’ll figure things out together. It’s just you and me.”
The thought was a little terrifying, honestly.
He was just a kid, and yet he was already planning on leaving and taking his sister with him.
No eighteen year old should be responsible for a little kid.
But he didn’t trust me so why would he even consider sticking around, or at least leaving Isla somewhere she was safe?
His gaze flicked up and it was almost like he was looking directly at me when he said, “No one, not even that asshole playing pretend dad, is going to get between us. I promised Mom I’d protect you. I’m not breaking that promise.”