Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
ZERO
Things were supposed to be simple when I wasn’t with Jasper, right? Wasn’t there a rule out there that there could be only one problem child amongst siblings?
“Isla… Don’t…”
She ignored me and threw the screwdriver with all her might, somehow managing to send it skittering under the fridge.
“Damn it.”
While Jasper was still struggling and wasn’t comfortable letting anyone in the crew babysit, I’d been bringing Isla with me to work.
So far, no one had complained and a few were delighted to play with the baby while I fixed whatever needed fixing.
It made my job easier since she was being watched and I was still close enough to send Jasper updated whenever he demanded them.
Today wasn’t one of those easy days. I’d forgotten that she peed through her diaper while napping in the playpen the night prior, and hadn’t cleaned it before I left for work this morning.
It wasn’t safe to have her strapped to me while I was working with wiring, so I figured I’d distract her by letting her play with my tools.
Maybe not the smartest idea, but the customer I was working for didn’t like kids and glowered at her when I brought her inside, then ignored her completely.
I had no help on that end. I probably should’ve thought my plan through because I needed that damn screw driver and I got the feeling I’d get complaints from the customer when I told him I needed to move his fridge to get it back.
Isla started crying without warning, which she’d been doing a lot lately, and I could practically hear the customer fuming the longer it lasted.
Setting down my tools, I picked the baby up, bouncing her in my arms and shushing her, but nothing I was doing was making any difference.
The only person who could calm her when she was like this was Jasper.
“Shh, it’s okay. No one’s mad. You didn’t mean it,” I whispered, trying and failing to get her to settle.
It wasn’t working and if I didn’t want the customer to lose his shit, I needed help.
I fished out my phone, stepping outside to call the one person who I figured could tell me what the hell was going on.
“Hey, Zero. What’s up?”
“Hey, Mama Bear. You got any clue why a baby would cry for no reason?”
Her chuckle was warm and understanding as she responded, “Oh, I know all about that. Tell me what happened.”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I told her not to throw something and she did it anyway– Hey why didn’t anyone tell me babies were mean?”
She barked out a laugh. “They aren’t! She didn’t mean it! She’s a baby!”
“Tell that to her,” I grumbled, then grimaced as Isla’s cries got more ear piercing. To spare the customer, I stepped outside, bouncing her lightly as I tried to keep my cool. “How do I make it stop?”
“Well, for one thing, take a deep breath. If you’re stressed, she can feel it and she won’t stop if you’re just as upset as she is.”
I did as she asked, taking a few deep breaths, but it didn’t help Isla. She shoved at my chest and wailed, and I swore a few neighbors peeked out to see what was happening. Great. If someone called the cops, I was going to get hell for this.
“Second, does she have a comfort item? A pacifier or a blankie?”
“Uh… Yeah. I think I have one with me.”
I ducked inside long enough to grab the diaper bag and sat on the porch with Isla in my lap as I tried to juggle the baby, the phone, and digging through the bag.
It felt a little like an olympic sport and when I managed to find one of the pacifiers, I accidentally got too excited when I shouted, “Found it!”
Isla startled, then her face crumpled and her cries got even louder.
“Fuck! I mean shit! No, I mean–”
Skylar’s laughter cut me off before I could keep going. “Relax, Zero. Give her the pacifier and wait until she is sucking on it or she’ll–”
Isla didn’t wait for her to finish before grabbing the pacifier and throwing it into the dirt. I started cursing up a storm as I grabbed it, but I wasn’t sure what to do with it. It was covered in dirt. I couldn’t hand it back to her. Could I?
“You sound like you could use some help. Why don’t I come over to your place and I’ll help you get her settled.”
“I’m not at my place right now,” I croaked, bouncing and shushing again because it felt wrong to put a dirty pacifier in a baby’s mouth. Maybe once she cooled off a bit I could rinse it in the sink. If I brought her in the house now, she’d shatter glass, she was screaming so loud.
“Then send me the address. I’m at the shop with Butch, so he can watch the kids for a bit. It should only be a few minutes.”
I rattled off the address to her and spent the few minutes while she headed over pacing the lawn and shushing Isla, spending more time trying to keep her from shoving out of my arms than actually soothing her. For a baby, she was fucking strong.
Skylar pulled up in Butch’s truck, sliding out of the driver’s seat and coming around the front with an understanding smile on her face. She put her hands out for the baby, and pointed me toward the house when I handed her off. “Go rinse that. We’ll be okay.”
Nodding rapidly, I rushed to do as she asked, rinsing off the pacifier and hurrying back outside to give it to her.
I thought she’d need it and I didn't want her to lose her hearing like I was close to doing, but when I got outside, Isla’s cries had settled down to whimpers and she had her head rested on Skylar’s shoulders, her little body shuddering with hiccups after crying so hard.
It made me feel like shit seeing her like that, but what the hell was I supposed to do?
I didn’t yell at her or anything. She just started screaming out of nowhere.
Isla took the pacifier when Skylar offered it to her, and the whimpers stopped, only gasping breaths interrupting her soft breathing. I sighed heavily.
“You’ve got some serious magic, Mama Bear.”
Skylar snickered, shaking her head. “Not really. I’ve just been doing this a while. Believe me, when Malcolm was born, I was just as harried as you right now. It took time, trial and error, and steady patience. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I murmured, brushing a thumb over the tear tracks on Isla’s face. She allowed it, which was an improvement, I guess, but we still weren’t anywhere near what I considered a good place. The moment Skylar left, I got the feeling she’d lose her cool again.
The front door of the house slammed open and the customer stomped out, glaring at me. “I ain’t payin’ by the hour if you’re gonna waste time. What kinda scam is this?”
Skylar turned just enough so the customer didn’t see her make a face. I wanted to laugh, but it felt like the wrong moment for it. I was in over my head, and several weeks didn’t make me feel any less like I was drowning.
“Go on, finish what you were doing. We’re good out here,” Skylar encouraged, stepping away so she and Isla were under the shade of a nearby tree.
I figured Jasper would be okay with it, since Skylar was a woman and not technically in the crew.
Sparing the pair one final glance, I jogged back inside, managing to get the screwdriver out from under the fridge without having to move the thing before getting back to work.
I gave the customer a discount for the trouble, but he still gave me a dirty look when I finished an hour later.
After making sure everything was cleaned up and put back where it belonged, I ducked out of the house, finding Skylar where I left her, rocking slowly with a sleeping Isla on her chest. She smiled at me when I came to join them.
“All good?”
“Yeah. Thank you, Skylar. I mean it. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
With her free hand, she patted my arm, giving me a soft smile. “It’s no problem. Have you considered putting her in daycare? Or I could take her with me to the shop if you don’t mind her sharing the attention with Ryder?”
I shook my head with a grimace. “Can’t. Jasper won’t allow it. She’s either with him or me, but he won’t let strangers watch her. He won’t even let the crew meet her yet. He doesn’t want anyone anywhere near her.”
Pressing her lips together, she gave me a sad smile.
“I guess I can’t blame him for that. Not after losing his moms. Maybe you can bring him to our house, let him see Isla with the other babies.
If its just me and Butch and not a bunch of the crew, it might make him more comfortable letting her stay with us. ”
“Yeah, maybe.” I doubted it, but I wouldn’t say that out loud. She was only trying to help.
Skylar helped me get Isla into her carseat, pulling the shade down so she wouldn’t be blinded by the sun on our way home. Thank fuck, this was my last job for the day. I had about an hour until Jasper got home and the stress multiplied all over again.
“Deep breaths, Zero. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re doing great. You’ll figure it out.”
I thanked her again and made sure she got into her truck safely before dropping into the driver’s seat of my cage and letting out a heavy breath.
Maybe I needed to call the social worker.
Skylar seemed sure I’d get it eventually, but shit couldn’t keep going like this.
I felt like I was screwing the kids up, and the longer they were with me, the worse they both got.
Maybe being split up was better because at least whoever they landed with would have a better idea of how to handle kids than I did.
My phone buzzed and I pulled it out, tension spiking when I saw the name on the screen. Speak of the devil.
“Hello?”
“Good afternoon, Mr. Fletcher,” Rachel Clark, the social worker, said cheerfully. “I’m just checking in. How are things going?”
My mouth opened to tell her it was fine, but I hesitated. It wasn’t fine. Jasper was still pissed, he was failing his classes and getting into fights, Isla barely slept and screamed unless she was with her brother. No one on the planet would say that shit was fine.
“Mr. Fletcher?”
“Yeah, sorry… I’m going to be honest with you, it’s a lot harder than I expected.”