Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
JASPER
“It’s your job to protect her, Jasper. You’re her big brother.”
“She loves you so much. You’re such a good brother, JJ.”
“We’re so proud of you. We couldn’t have asked for a better big brother for Isla. We’re so glad we can trust you to take care of her.”
My moms’ words flashed through my head. I scrunched my eyes closed in an attempt to block it out.
I didn’t deserve to hear it. They were wrong.
I wasn’t a good brother. I didn’t notice until she was already throwing up that she was sick.
I was going to lose her too because I didn’t protect her well enough.
Just like I didn’t protect them. If I had, they wouldn’t have gotten in that car.
“Jasper?”
Ms. Brooks’s voice sounded distant, and I couldn’t make myself look at her.
When I opened my eyes, I stared hard at the picture on my phone, the one I’d taken myself and Mama had gotten printed to put in the living room.
We were on the couch, getting ready to watch a movie, Mom holding the popcorn bowl away from Isla while Mama tried to distract her with a bottle.
I was munching on a handful of popcorn in the corner of the picture, taking a selfie of the chaos to send to my uncle.
It hurt knowing it was only a few days after this that they…
“Is she okay?” I croaked out.
“She’ll be okay.”
I shot her a look, silently demanding more, and she explained, “It’s just an ear infection. Some antibiotics, some over-the-counter pain medicine, and she’ll be all better before you know it.”
An ear infection. That was it. That wasn’t that bad, right?
Teachers had a crazy ability to read minds or something because Ms. Brooks’s hand settled on my arm, and she waited until I looked at her to say, “It’s the best case scenario, and easily treated. She’ll be okay.”
My chest tightened painfully and it felt impossible to breathe. Tears burned my eyes and the hand holding my phone shook so much, I almost dropped it. Ms. Brooks had to take it away, her warm hands squeezing mine as she coached me to breathe.
“It’s okay, Jasper. You’re okay. Just breathe.”
I shook my head rapidly. She didn’t get it. None of them did. It was my job to protect her. I should’ve known. If I’d been paying attention, I would’ve noticed sooner. She wouldn’t have gotten sick. I promised I’d protect her.
My head started to swim. I couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t I breathe? How could I protect Isla if I couldn’t even breathe right?
Ms. Brook’s expression tightened and when she let go of my hands to get help, it felt like I was going to lose it completely. I reached for her, and when she pulled me into a hug, I didn't fight it. I broke.
I promised I’d protect her.
I failed.
SIMONE
Deep, heart-wrenching sobs made Jasper’s whole body shake.
I didn’t usually hug my students, but I put aside my rules for now.
He needed it, and after seeing the panic and pain on his face, I needed it too.
I hugged him as tightly as I could without hurting him, rocking him a little and repeating the only thing I could think to say.
“It’s going to be okay.”
A nurse tiptoed closer, pointing at Jasper with a concerned expression.
I shook my head. I was worried for a moment that he would have a panic attack and need help, but I didn’t think this was panic.
To me, it felt like the pain he’d been hiding was finally coming out.
The nurse didn’t push, though she did come back with a box of tissues a few minutes later, setting them on the chair next to me before tiptoeing away again.
I kept hoping he’d settle after a while, but the longer he cried, the more worked up he seemed to get. “I-I can’t l-lose her!” he sobbed at one point, breaking my heart with his choked confession. “She’s all I got!”
Hugging him a little tighter, I murmured, “You won’t. You’re not going to lose her. She’s okay. You’re both okay. You’re safe, Jasper.”
His grip on me tightened and his sobs got louder. Tears slipped over my cheeks and I fought to maintain my composure. I didn’t know what to say to him to get him to believe it. This was beyond my expertise. For the first time in years, I felt lost on how to help.
Whether the nurse alerted him or he heard Jasper crying, Elias came out of the room that Isla was being seen in.
He took one look at us and his expression hardened.
He didn't look like the confused and overwhelmed guardian as he strode over to join us.
He looked like a man determined to protect his family.
And when he kneeled in front of Jasper and wrapped his arms around us both, his strength and warmth eased the ache in my chest a little.
For once, Jasper didn’t put a wall up or push his cousin away. He accepted Elias’s hold and cried until his tears dried up and his breathing steadied out. When I looked over the top of Jasper’s head at Elias, he gave me a pained smile, releasing me only long enough to brush the tears off my face.
Neither of us let go of Jasper until he pulled away first. I knew better than to draw attention to the tears, handing him the tissues without a word and giving him a moment to settle. Instead, I asked Elias, “Isla?”
“With Mel. She’s my Prez’s little sister and a nurse here.”
I nodded. I knew Elias wouldn’t leave a baby alone. Having someone at the hospital he trusted to watch over her was the only way he would walk away.
A doctor with white hair and laugh lines around his eyes cleared his throat, drawing our attention. His smile was kind when we looked at him, and his tone was warm. Like a doctor who knew this little family was struggling with the shock of the night and needed to be treated gently.
“Good news. Her fever has broken and she’s tolerating the antibiotics well. We’ll keep her for another hour, just to monitor her temp, but she’ll be just fine.”
Elias squeezed Jasper’s shoulder, looking up at the doctor with a frown. “Was there something I should’ve seen? Something that would let me know she was sick?”
Doctor O’Malley shook his head, his smile understanding, like he’d heard the same question from other parents before.
“I’m afraid not. Babies get sick. It happens.
Sometimes you might notice her pulling her ears, or acting a little fussier than normal, but that can also just be a sign she needs a nap.
Usually, the first indicator that something’s wrong is a fever.
Since she was fine when you put her to bed—” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for confirmation, then nodded once when Elias did “—it’s likely her fever spiked while she was sleeping.
Nothing you could’ve done about that. You brought her in right away when you noticed something wrong, and aside from the ear infection, she looks like a perfectly happy and healthy little girl. You’re doing the right things.”
Elias looked relieved, but Jasper’s face was clouded.
He was still upset. When I took his hand, he squeezed mine tightly, shooting me a look so filled with heartache, it made my chest tighten.
I squeezed back, turning to the doctor to ask, “Is there anything we can do in the future to prevent this from happening?”
“Unfortunately, not so much. Ear infections can happen for a myriad of reasons. Colds, allergies, teething, being around other kids. If she’s congested, the risk of ear infection rises.
Unless you want to keep her in a plastic bubble all her life, there’s nothing you can do about it other than what you’re doing now.
” He shrugged. “I had four kids myself—each of them had plenty of ear infections and I’m a doctor.
If I knew a way to prevent them, I would’ve done it, right? ”
That seemed to settle Jasper a little. I got the feeling he was blaming himself for Isla getting sick. He likely thought he should’ve noticed something because he knew her the longest. If a doctor was saying not even he could prevent them, it had to count for something.
Lifting his chart, Dr. O’Malley said, “I’m gonna start work on those discharge papers.
If nothing changes, you’ll be able to get out of here sooner and get some sleep.
” He cast a glance toward the room Isla was in and shook his head with a snort.
“Do me a favor and take Nurse Melanie with you when she leaves. She’s supposed to be on day shift, and I don’t need her to be too delirious to work. That girl works too much.”
“I will. Thanks, doc,” Elias agreed, finally pushing to his feet. “Jasper? Want to see her? She’s not crying now.”
Wiping his nose roughly with a tissue, Jasper nodded and stood, halting when Dr. O’Malley put a hand out to stop him.
He gave a pointed look at the hand sanitizer station on the wall, clapping Jasper on the shoulder when he used it without complaint.
“Good man. One of the easiest ways to keep a baby healthy is to keep the family healthy. You got your flu shot this year?”
Jasper nodded. “We always do that together. Mama called it ‘Family Flu Shot Day’.”
Dr. O’Malley snorted. “Whatever works. Go on, son. I’m sure your sister will be happy to see you.”
Jasper ducked into the trauma room first, and Elias and I were going to follow him in when Officer Hernandez called out my name.
“Ms. Brooks?”
I grimaced. I’d forgotten I needed to give her my report. I was glad she hadn’t arrived earlier.
“Simone?” Elias’s tone was concerned when he looked between me and Officer Hernandez. “What’s the pi–” He stopped himself with a scowl and corrected “What’s Officer Hernandez doing here?”
Shaking my head, I shooed him toward the trauma room. “We’ll talk about it later. I just need to talk to her. I’ll join you in a minute.”
He looked ready to argue, but Isla’s happy squeal caught his attention and I stepped away from him before he could stop me. Now wasn’t the time to get into it. He needed to focus on his family.
Officer Hernandez waited for me near the doorway to the ER, her face twisted into a grimace. “Sorry. I promise I’ll make this as quick as I can. I’ve got no doubt if your family is here, it’s important. I just want to get your perspective while it's still fresh.”
Something about the way she called them ‘my family’ made my stomach jump.
I’d honestly not thought much about having a family of my own.
Jumping into a ready made family already going through the trenches wasn’t part of my plan.
But the more time I spent with Elias and the kids, the harder it was for me to walk away.
I wanted to be there, to make sure they were happy and things turned out for the best. I wanted to be there to see it happen.
All my efforts to not get attached to students went out the window with this little family. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to do about that.