Chapter 7
Nina
The first thing I notice when I wake up is the pounding in my head.
The second is the absence of Vasily’s warm, powerful body behind mine.
Images from last night slowly flit through my head, making me groan as my face heats up in embarrassment.
God, I’d made such an ass of myself, and I can’t believe I’d thrown up in front of that gorgeous man!
I force myself out of bed so I can shower and get cleaned up. The pajama bottoms are ridiculously huge on me, and the memory of him undressing me pulls another groan from my mortified body. I hurry up and get everything done, anxious to know where Vasily is.
“Vasya,” I whisper into the silent room, smiling at the sound of it. Using the shortened form of his name comes naturally to me now. I feel close to him, like we share a deep connection despite the fact that we’ve only shared a few nonsexual kisses.
With a soft smile playing at my lips, I walk downstairs and the first thing I see is a drop-dead gorgeous redhead who’s in nothing but a tiny T-shirt, bent over and rummaging through the fridge.
Vasily had mentioned that Katya doesn’t work the weekends, so I knew she wouldn’t be down here making breakfast, but I hadn’t expected another woman to be standing in her spot.
When she turns around, it’s obvious she’s not wearing a bra, and I quickly busy myself with grabbing a mug of coffee.
“You’re hungry too, huh?” she asks with a small laugh. “Vasily said I could help myself. Do you want some scrambled eggs if I make some?”
Hearing Vasily’s name coming out of her perfect, full mouth makes me sick.
Did he leave our bed so he could fuck her last night?
God, I feel so stupid. He’d seen me with my head in his damn toilet, and then I’d stroked his face and complimented his eyes like a love-struck teenager.
He must’ve laughed his ass off and then gone out and found a woman who could actually please him.
I force myself to make my coffee and to not cry in front of the woman who just fucked my husband, even if he did marry me just so he could protect me.
“No, thanks,” I manage to whisper to the redhead’s offer of eggs before turning and getting the hell out of there.
I don’t see Vasily anywhere, so I go back to our room and hide on the balcony, not wanting to run into him.
I stare at the ocean and drink my coffee, feeling like I’m going to be sick again.
I tell myself that it’s ridiculous. I mean, we’re not in love, and he never would’ve married me if he hadn’t been forced into it.
It’s not like he’s going to become abstinent.
It’s not even fair of me to ask that of him.
I sink into my chair, feeling like a giant burden and completely out of place in Vasily’s life.
When I hear him walk into our bedroom, I make myself even smaller and ignore him when he calls my name.
Hardly daring to breathe, I will him to just go away, but a few minutes later, I hear him step out onto the balcony.
I don’t turn around. I keep my focus on my empty mug until a pair of black, steel-toe boots come to a stop right beside me and he squats down to look me in the eye.
“You hiding from me, zolotse?” he asks, and I blush even harder at the playful tone of his voice. I don’t want to like him as much as I do because it just makes it hurt all the more.
“No. I was just giving you some privacy.”
He hooks a finger under my chin, tilting my face to his, but I can only meet his blue eyes for a fraction of a second before I have to look away.
“Uh-oh,” he teases. “Feeling embarrassed about last night? I told you it happens to everyone.”
“No,” I say, and then shake my head. “I mean, I am embarrassed, but that’s not why I’m out here. I thought maybe you’d want to be alone. I didn’t want to make things awkward for you.”
He gives a soft laugh that cuts me like a damn knife. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The woman,” I say, hating that I have to keep talking about this. “The beautiful redhead in the kitchen.”
“Ah,” he says, stroking my jaw with his thumb in a light touch that isn’t making any of this any easier. “You think she’s here for me?”
The question takes me off guard, and I meet his eyes. “I guess I just assumed she was,” I admit. Truth be told, it hadn’t even occurred to me that she was here for anyone else. “She told me that you said she could help herself.”
“I did,” he admits, “but I didn’t fuck her, zolotse. Ilya invited her to come over last night after we came up here. He often has women stay over, but if it bothers you, I’ll have a talk with him about it.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling like a giant dumbass but also so damn relieved. “No, you don’t have to talk to him. I was just surprised when I saw her. I thought for sure she was here for you.”
“You thought I would do that to you?”
He sounds hurt, like I’ve wounded him for thinking he was capable of sleeping with another woman, even though he’s not sleeping with me.
“It’s unfair of me to keep you trapped like this.” I fidget with the mug, feeling my face heat up. “I can’t be a normal wife to you, Vasya, and there’s no way a man like you can be abstinent for long.”
He gives a slow nod of his head. “I see. So you’d be fine with me fucking other women? Bringing them here to our house so you can hear and see them?”
Just the idea of it has me clutching the mug so tightly I’m surprised I don’t break it. “No,” I finally whisper, unable to lie to him. “I wouldn’t like that at all.”
“Good, because it would really piss me off if you’d be fine with that.
You deserve more than that, Nina.” He gently runs his thumb over my healing lip, being careful to avoid the worst of it.
“There’s something I want to ask you, and I want you to be completely honest. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, just tell me the truth. Will you do that?”
“Yes,” I whisper, finding it hard to think with his thumb on my lip and his face so close.
“Do you wish you could have sex with me?”
I blush at the bluntness of his question, but I can’t look away from those blue eyes of his.
“Is that something you would want?”
“Vasya,” I whisper, feeling my heart start to race and my hands start to sweat.
“I don’t expect anything. I just want the truth,” he gently reminds me.
“Yes,” I say in a breathy rush, because any woman would have to be out of her mind to not want to have sex with a man like him.
He smiles and leans closer. When I tense, he gives me a reassuring smile and says, “Just because you said yes doesn’t mean I’m going to take you right here on the balcony, zolotse.
” He lightly brushes his thumb over my top, uninjured lip, making my whole body erupt in goosebumps.
“It does make me happy to hear it, though. It’s something we can work towards.
” He must see something in my eyes because he smiles and adds, “Very slowly work towards it.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak or even having any idea of what in the hell I’d say if I could manage a sentence.
He makes me want things, but I also know I’m nowhere near ready to give my body to him, to expose myself like that.
When he leans closer, my whole body tenses.
I can feel the heat of his breath against my lips, and I don’t know what to do.
My own breaths start coming faster, and I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my damn chest.
“Easy, baby,” he whispers, cupping my face and very gently kissing me.
His lips are whisper soft against mine. He’s being careful to not hurt my bottom lip, but before he pulls away, his tongue runs over my top lip.
My eyes widen at the feel of him and at the shock of electricity that quickly runs through me.
A soft moan escapes, and then I immediately feel guilty, like I’m doing something wrong by enjoying this.
Vasily pulls back and studies my face. “It’s not going to be easy, zolotse, but we will do this together. I plan on erasing every bad memory you have, but right now I’m afraid I need you to do something very difficult.”
“What?”
“Do you remember telling me last night about the man who spoke Russian to you at Ruby’s?”
I search my fuzzy memories from last night and nod my head.
“I was up all night, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t one of my men, but I’m afraid it might be, so I’ve ordered them all to come here. I need you to point him out to me.”
“What? No,” I quickly say, looking around like the man’s going to step out from behind something to hurt me again.
“I’m so sorry, baby, but it’s the only way. I will be with you the whole time. I swear you won’t be alone with him. I just need you to point him out and then I swear you’ll never see him again.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What needs to be done,” he says, and the tone of his voice makes it clear that there’s no talking him out of it. “I will not allow any of these bastards to live, Nina. I won’t be able to look at myself in the mirror if I do.”
I study Vasily’s eyes and try to muster up some sort of sympathy for the man who’s about to die, but all I feel is anger at what he did to me, at what he stole from me.
He took a piece of myself that I wasn’t willing to give, but I also know I wouldn’t be able to kill him if he were standing in front of me, not if it wasn’t self-defense.
“It feels wrong to have you kill him when I know I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own. I wouldn’t have the guts to do it.”
“You don’t need to, baby. That’s why you have me.
It’s my job to protect you, and I take that job very seriously.
” He kisses me again, this one just as sweet and gentle as the last one, before he stands up and holds his hand out to me.
I take it and let him pull me up. “I will be with you the whole time,” he reminds me.