Chapter 4
Ilya
Exactly thirty minutes later, I’m knocking on Lily’s door, feeling more nervous than I ever have around a woman.
I don’t usually date, but I’ve gone on a few, and none of them ever made me feel like this.
It felt more obligatory than anything, but now all I can think about is making this night perfect for her.
I’m seriously out of my element, but I’m surprised by how badly I want to try, how badly I want this to be special for her.
When she opens the door, all I can do is stand there staring at her like I’ve forgotten how to speak, and maybe I have, because all I can do is drink in the sight of her while my brain goes pleasantly numb.
She’s in a tight pair of black pants, and the green sweater she’s wearing is the exact shade of her eyes.
Her brown hair falls to her shoulders in loose waves that I’d very much like to fist, and I’m not sure how long I’ve been gawking at her before she lets out a nervous laugh and starts to fidget.
Finding my voice, I say the only thing I can. “You look beautiful, Lily. Absolutely stunning.”
She blushes, smiles, and then quickly looks away.
She doesn’t know how to take a compliment, but she’s going to learn fast, because I’m going to be giving her a lot of them.
Stepping closer, I lean down and kiss her cheek, lingering for several seconds longer than necessary for the simple fact that I can’t bring myself to pull away.
She smells amazing, and her skin is so goddamn soft, and I never want to let her go, so I find myself wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug.
It immediately brings to mind the very long nap she’d taken on my lap earlier, the sweetest fucking torture I’ve ever endured in my life.
I’d held her for hours, unable to let her go because holding her had felt so right.
It’s the same way now. I’ve never once been a cuddler.
I don’t give hugs and share intimate moments with women, but it feels so natural to do it with her.
When I feel her hug me back, I smile against her cheek and kiss it again. “This feels pretty right to me.” I whisper the words against her skin, close enough for her to feel my lips move and the warmth of my breath. “Everything about you feels right to me.”
Before she can lie to us both and deny it, I take a step back and grab her hand, pulling her out the door and back towards my place.
The house is way too big for just me, and it’s been feeling even bigger and lonelier since Lily moved here.
When she realizes where I’m taking her, she starts to shake her head.
“No way,” she whispers, eyeing the big motorcycle parked in front. “I can’t get on that thing.”
She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met, but she’s still very wrong if she thinks that’s the only reason why I want her.
It intrigues me, but it’s not the force that’s driving this.
Not every woman falls over herself to get at me, even I can admit that, and it’s never once made me suddenly think I can’t live without her.
My attraction to Lily is not because she didn’t immediately strip her clothes and part her legs for me.
It’s because something inside her calls to something inside me. It’s as complicated and simple as that.
She feels like home, like the person I’ve been waiting for without even realizing I’d been waiting. A smile spreads across my face that I’m unable to stop.
Seeing it, she asks, “What are you smiling about?”
There’s no bother denying the truth, so I say, “I think I just became a one-woman man.”
Her pretty eyes widen before they narrow in suspicion. “Just like that, huh?”
“Just like that,” I say and then hand her a helmet. “I promise you’ll be safe. I would never put you in danger.”
I almost expect her to put up a fight, but she takes it and pulls it on while I do the same with mine.
I know she’s nervous, so when she gets on behind me, I reach back and give her leg a squeeze before starting the bike.
She wraps her arms around my waist, her fear making her forget her insistence on trying to keep distance between us.
Her body is pressed as closely to mine as she can get, and I love the way it feels.
I drive slowly as we follow the path that leads us to the main entrance.
Giving the guards a quick nod, they open the gate and let us through.
Once we’re off the property, I give her leg another squeeze and then speed up so we’re going the speed limit.
The road is empty, but I don’t want to scare her, so I obey the law.
It’s not something I usually do, and it feels odd, but I want her to enjoy this and that takes precedence over everything else, including my dislike of following the rules.
She keeps a tight grip on me through the ride, and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s still terrified or if it’s because she likes being pressed against me as much as I like feeling the way her body has molded to mine.
When I pull into the restaurant’s parking lot, I’m disappointed the drive isn’t longer, and as soon as I park, I feel her loosen her grip on me.
Before she can fully let go, I wrap both her hands in mine, holding her still for just a little bit longer.
She squeezes me tighter and then lets go when I move my hand to free her.
Hiking her leg over, she stands next to me and pulls her helmet off. Her eyes are lit up with excitement, and there’s a flush to her cheeks. She’s fucking breathtaking, and I suddenly feel so far out of my element, and so very unworthy of being next to her.
“That was fun,” she says, giving me another grin when I rest both our helmets on the bike and then thread my fingers through hers.
“I’m glad you liked it. I can take you for a ride anytime you want.”
She huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I bet you can.”
It dawns on me what I’ve said, and I quickly shake my head. “I was being serious. I mean, I’ll happily do the other, but if you want a ride on my bike, just let me know.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Figuring that’s as good as I’m going to get right now, I lace my fingers back through hers and lead her to the restaurant, hoping she won’t be disappointed that it’s not a really fancy place.
It may not look like a Michelin-rated place, but it’s a local favorite, and they serve the best food in the city, even if the floor is covered in peanut shells.
Instead of looking upset, when I glance over at Lily, she’s smiling at all the sea creature decorations that line the walls and ceilings with rope. It’s very nautical-themed which fits with their seafood-heavy menu.
I give the room a quick scan, making sure everything looks safe.
It’s a deeply ingrained habit from working in a Bratva my whole life and not one that’s ever going to go away.
When I’m sure it’s safe, I keep her hand in mine when the hostess leads us to an empty table in the corner.
Lily smiles up at me when I pull the chair out for her, and once she’s seated and the menus are in front of us, she immediately starts trying to pick out what she wants.
Our waitress comes over for drink orders.
She’s young and bubbly and way too excited to see me.
Lily doesn’t say anything, but I see the way her mouth tightens and her hands grip the menu a little harder than they had been.
Ignoring the waitress, I slide a hand across the table and flip it so my palm is facing up.
Wiggling my fingers, I give Lily a wink.
She quickly puts her hand in mine, and when I wrap my fingers around hers, she gives me that sweet smile that I’ve become addicted to.
The waitress loses some of her pep, but I really couldn’t care less. The only woman I want looking at me with fuck-me eyes is the woman seated across from me. When we’re alone again, Lily’s eyes drift back to the menu while she says, “You certainly seem to be drawing attention.”
“The only attention I want is from you.” I look around the crowded restaurant again, making a point to meet the eyes of every guy who’s currently checking my girl out.
When they turn their heads, I say, “I’m not the only one, and I think I’m doing a pretty damn good job of keeping myself in check right now.
There are a few guys in here who definitely deserve to be punched. ”
She gives me a playful eye roll. “Uh-huh, sure there are.”
“I’m being serious. I should’ve kept you at home and all to myself, but you needed to eat, and I’m a terrible cook.”
She raises a brow. “So you are bad at something then? Not perfect after all?”
I grin. I can’t help it. “You think I’m perfect?”
“Thought,” she corrects, making me laugh. “I know the truth now. I’m also guessing you’re bad at one other very important thing.”
I’m about to tell her she’s very wrong about that one, but instead of saying what I’m expecting her to say, she says, “Monogamy.” She lets go of my hand. “I’m afraid that’s a real dealbreaker for me.”
I snatch her hand back. “You’re wrong. I’m not bad at it. I’ve just never wanted it. I’ve never once cheated on anyone, and I sure as hell would never do that to you.”
“How do you know? You’ve never once been put to the test,” she argues.
The waitress comes back before I can defend myself. We both order the fish and chips, and as side-tracked as I am with our conversation, I still take a moment to appreciate the fact that she ordered an actual meal and not a side salad.
As soon as the girl is gone, I tell Lily, “I’m going to prove that I can be faithful to you.”
She grabs her Coke and takes a long drink. “Well that’ll be interesting to see considering we aren’t even dating.”
“Oh, sweetheart, we’re definitely dating.” I give her a wink and then use my finger to discreetly motion around the room. “And every single fucker in here knows that you’re mine.”
“Yours?”