Chapter 35
TWENTY-SEVEN MILES OUTSIDE SANTA FE
JUNE 16, 2022, 12:32 P.M.
AGE: ON THE EDGE OF 36
THE SUN WAS BEATING DOWN ON ME AND I WAS BUTT ON THE GROUND, my limbs splayed out like a crab. I dug my hands into the dirt, squinting at my surroundings. I had landed on the side of a freeway in a barren desert landscape. Maybe Arizona... or Nevada? Cacti sprouted at odd intervals from the ruddy earth.
I looked down to see if I was still pregnant. I was disappointed to see that I was not. I was back in my old life. Soon enough, though, I’d be locked into the new one, the better one. I’d be done with all the hurtling back and forth. I’d have kids, a husband, and a best friend in Leigh Sullivan. The memory of how Geeta had reacted to me at the art opening filled me with a numbness. She was as good as gone in that realm, but not for my lack of trying. My conscience could be clear. I reached into my pocket for my phone, only to discover it wasn’t there.
There was a rustling sound from behind. At first I thought I was about to be attacked by a rattlesnake. Then I spotted a patch of red hair poking out from behind a desert plant. Desiree stepped out in an immaculate ivory pantsuit, perfectly tailored to her slight frame. Her knobby fingers were stacked with turquoise rings.
“Happy almost birthday,” she said, helping me to my feet. “We have a very special party planned for you.” I shielded my face from the blazing sun and Desiree tossed me a baseball cap. “The Big Three Six. Congratulations! According to our calculations, you course-corrected enough to fully self-actualize.”
My mouth was so dry it was hard to speak. “I did?”
“Well, 94 percent, but that’s better than we expected, if I’m being perfectly honest. Your last trip went well but we had to get you here urgently—we were running out of time,” she said quickly. She sounded a little nervous. I wondered if she and her associates were getting sloppy in their accounting. Maybe the fact that Geeta hadn’t listened to me meant we could all avoid getting bogged down with more disjunctions and repercussions.
“We’ll get you some water and you’ll feel more yourself,” Desiree assured me.
“Where are we?”
“Near Santa Fe. We try to find conference centers that are equally convenient to most of our Consortium members, which invariably means we settle on a destination that’s equally inconvenient to everyone. You were supposed to touch down in your suite at the hotel but there was a glitch in the coordinates as we rushed you out of California. It was getting dicey back there.” She eyed me disapprovingly. I knew exactly what she meant. “Geeta was on her way to the after-party,” I said.
“Yes, and goodness knows what you would have tried to pull.”
Before I could defend myself, a black van rumbled down the desert road and pulled over next to us. My knees felt weak as I followed Desiree into the back of the vehicle.
“I should be more upset with you, but frankly I’m exhausted and relieved. And lucky for us, everything is falling into place. The rest will be a cakewalk,” Desiree said. She took two bottles of water from a seat pocket and handed one to me. I chugged and chugged.
“I know what you’re wondering. You’re now in the liminal state, neither here nor there.”
“I thought I was in New Mexico,” I replied.
“Barely. Don’t get too comfortable,” Desiree said. “Tomorrow morning you’ll officially be food-world royalty. Happily married to a successful thought leader. With two healthy daughters, and a best friend who loves you to bits.”
“My best friend is not speaking to me, last I checked.”
“Your best friend is Leigh Sullivan,” Desiree supplied. “That other person was always a snake in the grass, keeping you from attaining full empowerment.” Desiree let off a melancholic sigh. “Which reminds me. There’s been a security breach at the conference center. There was a... sighting. Your nemesis is making trouble.”
“Geeta showed up here?” I couldn’t keep the glee from my voice. She had crashed the conference. And to go by Desiree’s expression, it wasn’t because a Memo had told her to do it.
“A few of our elder Consortium members saw her lurking by the tennis courts, no doubt looking for the woman of the hour. She ran off before anyone could apprehend her.”
I bit down a smile. Even if Geeta didn’t want me to have the Memo, she was going out on a limb. At least she cared.
“It’s really getting to her,” Desiree said. “She just can’t stand to see you be celebrated. She’s got tall-poppy syndrome. That’s when people are psychologically unable to see others grow. They feel compelled to cut them down to shine themselves.”
That was one theory for it. I turned to look out the window. A big-beaked bird swooped down frighteningly close to the van. I traced its path with my eyes.
“I understand that it hurts, cookie. But soon it will sink in, and you won’t even remember what you saw in her in the first place. I have to say, I never got it.”
“Really? You’ve never had a friend who had your back, ride or die?”
Desiree guffawed. “More like who stabbed you in the back! Tell me this. Who is the one person who did not want you to get your Memo?”
“Geeta,” I acknowledged. “And I agree that a lot of her behavior has been upsetting. But up until this week she was also... my soulmate.”
“Is that what you’d call it? She was there for you provided that you were suffering. Is that a real friend?”
“I wasn’t much of a real friend to her either,” I said. “I blew off her wedding to go to a stupid panel and then squeezed her for her business connections and never even said thank you.”
“Hey, connections are key. And it’s not every day you have the opportunity to go mano a mano with Sebastian Shapiro. That conversation led to a Manhattan Review profile. Eight pages, with a double-page portrait by Annie Leibovitz. You are your own best friend, Jenny. Finally. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you?”
I swallowed hard as the van trundled along.
“What a week it’s been.” Desiree reached out and squeezed my hand.