Chapter Six
MERRICK - NOW
DAY TEN
It had been ten days since we last saw our friends. Every morning, the food in the cabinets would replenish. Era and I would continue searching for answers, spending hours reading or looking for those damn keys. But we never found them.
Every morning, a red tally would be added to the DAYS LOST parchment, tracking how long we were stuck here. I was grateful for it, because every day bled into the next. If it weren’t for Era, I’d be going mad.
It was getting increasingly difficult being in her presence, having her body close at night, and being met with her cold demeanor while we were awake.
I didn’t mean to pressure her…and yet it was all I did.
I’m such an asshole.
We basically made a rule. Part of our day would be spent exploring the house, part would be for reading, and then we’d talk. Sitting a fair distance apart. I chose not to read her, accepting that was a boundary I had to respect from here on out.
We’d spoken about many small topics over the past week.
Era told me sky blue was her favorite color because it reminded her of the few fond memories she had of summertime before her father had passed.
When I told her mine was orange, she didn’t press why.
I wouldn’t have told her the truth…that those fragments of marigold in her irises gave me a newfound appreciation for the hue.
I hadn’t pressed her about Mabel or anything else regarding her family. Not because I wasn’t curious or didn’t care, but because I didn’t want to coax her if she wasn’t ready. I’d certainly done enough of that in other areas.
That dark feeling that had clouded over her when she had told me her history…I imagine it was something awful that had happened.
After searching, reading, and small talk, night would come. Era had insisted on falling asleep before I’d join her in bed. I’d offered to take the couch if it would make her more comfortable, but she abhorred the idea.
I knew she felt safe with me nearby, that she needed that. She just wanted to avoid the temptation. So, after several days with that routine, you could imagine my surprise when she asked me to come to bed with her.
I hadn’t said anything. No sarcastic comment. Just raised brows followed by a nod, and I joined her.
I kept my distance as we slipped under the covers, my body stiff as I lay on my back. I was worried one wrong move would have her withdrawing again.
“Tell me more about yourself, Merrick,” she prodded as she settled on her side, facing me. She gave me a guilty wince. “You’ve asked about me plenty these past few days, and yet there’s still so much I don’t know about you.”
I turned my body in her direction. “What would you like to know?”
She pulled her lips to the side. “Favorite snack?”
“Really getting into the nitty gritty, huh?” I gave a thoughtful hum. “Yolkstingers.” When her brows pinched, I clarified, “Deviled eggs made with jalapeno peppers.”
She scrunched her nose. “Really?”
I scoffed. “You’re gonna judge me? Rude.
” The corner of my lip tilted up. “My aunt always made them. I guess the first time Torrin tried them as a little boy, he yelled, ‘It stings!’” I chuckled.
“I guess that was his first time trying anything spicy. So, that’s where the name yolkstingers comes from. ”
Era giggled. “That’s sweet.”
My smile grew. “What about you? Let me guess…” I tapped my lip in contemplation. “Something prissy, like chocolate-covered strawberries.”
She huffed incredulously, then lifted her hand to hide her grin.
“No fucking way I guessed that correctly.”
“I suppose I’m not as mysterious as I’d hoped.” She sighed, tucking her hands under her head. “They are wonderful, though. Can’t blame me.”
So I’d heard. “I’ve never had chocolate before.”
Her eyes bulged. “What?!”
I chuckled softly. “Too hard to get into Ames. Most of our meals were locally grown, as a lot of us were scared to leave.”
It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact that I spent twenty-four years of my life in the same small town. No true desire to leave, to experience new environments and new people. My hatred for humans ran too deep.
I studied Era, gazing at her softening features. I couldn’t believe I’d grown so fond of a human, either. “I’m sorry,” she said gently.
My smile remained, my stare dropping as I thought more about our journey.
Sure, out of all my new human companions, Era was my favorite.
But I’d grown to care for Edmund too, surprisingly.
Hendry was loyal and kind, and Roland…well, I’d never met a more authentic person in my life.
I guess I’d come to like him as well. Even Silas, the man my people demonized all these years, was somehow redeemable. The Slayer of Witches…
Era pulled me out of my thoughts by reaching a hand over, brushing my shoulder. “When things are fixed, or when the opportunity arises, you must try some. Together.” Humor flickered in her eyes. “Perhaps I’ll even give yolkstingers a shot.”
I chuckled, a pleasant feeling spreading through my chest as I pictured her enjoying our family recipe. “I’d love to see it.”
With a soft laugh through her nostrils, she closed her eyes slowly. Mine followed shortly after, no sound filling the air except comforting crackles and pops from the fireplace.
And then, out of the blue, Era asked, “How was sex with her?”
My eyes snapped open, my brows shooting upward as I found her serious gaze locked on me. “What?”
“With your ability to feel what she feels,” she explained. “You and Viola.”
“Oh.” A shy heat flamed my cheeks. “Honestly, I shut it off while we did it. I was too scared.”
Something flickered in her eyes. “Why?”
What is causing this sudden conversation?
I lifted a shoulder. “What if she got grossed out by me? What if it felt even more surface-level than it already was?” I dragged my teeth over the hoop in my lip.
“I guess…I guess it was a level of intimacy I didn’t feel comfortable exploring with her.
Even though I love Viola—she’s been a close friend of mine for years. ”
Her deep gaze bounced between mine, her brows just barely pinching. “You love her?” she asked quietly.
I wanted to read her, wanted to know what emotions plagued her. But I refrained. “Not like that,” I answered softly.
She blinked a few times, eyes shifting low as she got lost in thought. “Your eyes were dark while we kissed.” She let the words linger between us for a few moments. “I know it’s not as intimate as sex, but…” Her gaze landed on mine as she delicately added, “They’re dark around me often.”
Not as of late, but she was correct. I’d never read anyone as much as her.
“I wanted to feel it all with you,” I replied honestly.
“Worst case, I stop pining for a woman I couldn’t have.
Best case…you felt what I felt.” Her eyes flickered with a knowing gleam, and that warmth in my cheeks intensified as I admitted, “It was my first time.”
That made Era’s eyebrows raise. “Your first time using your magic that way?”
My nervous laugh felt forced as I struggled to maintain eye contact with her.
“Well, yes. I’d read Viola before just like everyone else, but never during an act of intimacy, and certainly not right after, aside from that first kiss.
” I cleared my throat. “But I meant my first time…” I winced. “…having sex.”
Era’s jaw dropped. “You were a virgin before her?!” she exclaimed.
My lips tightened, and I pulled them to the side. “Yep.”
She studied me for a moment, her shock morphing into curiosity. The silence did nothing to help the nausea I felt.
I didn’t know why it was so embarrassing for me to admit that.
“What made you want to give it up? If you’d waited that long?”
I barked a sharp laugh. “Twenty-four years isn’t that long,” I retorted, my pitch higher than normal. At Era’s twitching lips, I groaned. “I don’t know. We’re in a war; any one of us could be gone tomorrow. I suppose I wanted to know what it felt like, Gods forbid something happened to me.”
After a moment of silence, she asked, “Did it live up to your expectations?”
I blinked. Had it?
It felt fucking wonderful. Physically, anyway. The act of sex was great in the moment, an itch to scratch…but after? After, I felt even more lonely than I did before. As much as I hated to admit it, what I really craved was connection—true understanding.
Love.
Ugh. Why must I feel everything so deeply? How pathetic.
Instead of dumping my mushy feelings onto her, I gave her a shy smile. “It was nice.”
A weight pressed into my throat, my gut twisting as Era’s lips pinched together.
Damnit! When did I start reading her?
I frowned just as Era gave a tight-lipped smile, her words clipped as she uttered, “Well. That’s good.” She flipped over in the bed, her back to me, roughly tugging the comforter over her shoulders.
I shifted closer to her. “You’re jealous.”
“I am not,” she lied.
I carefully lifted my hand, which was also under the blanket, and grazed it down her side. Era inhaled sharply, just before I murmured, “You must know that I’d have enjoyed it more if it were with you.”
My heart stammered in my ribs as Era slowly blew out her breath. That addictive anticipation my touch provided triggered a rush of heat to pool between her thighs. “You can’t say things like that,” she said breathlessly.
I continued caressing her side and leaned in closer, my lips brushing her ear.
“Why,” I uttered lowly, “when I can feel just how much you love it?” My palm slid down, and I gently grasped her hip.
The cutest moan slipped past her lips as I pressed my body against hers.
“When I can tell just how desperately you want my cock inside of you?”
She released a strained exhale, goosebumps spreading across her flesh. “Merrick…” she whispered, that familiar wave of guilt clawing up her throat.
As much as I knew she desired me, I hated offering her any negative emotion. I remembered just how rotten I had made her feel that day on the couch, and in fear of doing that again, I released her, scooting away.
She twisted her body, her eyes glistening. Pleading. “Please don’t be mad—” she began.
“I’m not mad,” I responded caringly, shutting the lid to my magic so I couldn’t feel her complicated emotions. I glanced up at the ceiling. “This shit sucks, is all.”
She wet her lips, her gaze dropping. “Yeah…it does.”
A loud clattering outside the door made Era and me jump.
“What was that?!” Era hissed, scooting closer to me.
My jaw tensed, and when I went to stand, Era clutched my arm. Her eyes pleaded with me before the words left her lips. “Don’t go.”
“What if it’s our friends? I must check, Era.” My words didn’t do much to alleviate her fear. I kissed her forehead, her grip on my arm loosening. “Stay here.”
I stood, and Era tumbled out of bed. “I’m coming with you then.”
Now wasn’t the time to argue. I nodded, saying quietly, “Stay behind me.”
Adrenaline coursed through my veins as my hand grasped the cold doorknob. It had been days of solitude. Who could be here now?
I shut my eyes tightly, only for a moment, letting every awful, sad emotion fill me—fuel my ice, if I needed to use it to protect us.
I took a bracing breath, then turned the knob, the door creaking as I slowly pushed it open. My gaze darted through the kitchen, then the living area, and then the bookcases.
Slowly, I crept forward, frost creeping up my fingertips. “Who’s here?” I demanded.
Era remained at my back, and we were met with nothing but silence. But then a mess on the floor caught my attention. A large decorative floor vase, shattered into pieces in front of the locked door.
I examined the white and blue ceramic pieces. “What’s the message?”
“I think I know,” Era uttered quietly. When my head spun to her, she wrapped her arms around herself, her posture curving inward. “I broke that vase…the day I met Silas.”