13. Katrinia
13
Katrinia
“ Y ou’re a little crazy.” Luna teases as she bumps my shoulder before jogging around to the other side of her car.
Shrugging I hop into the passenger seat and start warming my hands against the warm air coming out of the air vents. I can’t wait for winter to be over. Normally I love it. I grew up here in New England, but the years in North Carolina have made me soft.
Well, I guess in weather tolerance, in other ways I suppose I’m still the same small town girl from the wrong side of the tracks I’ve always been.
“I like seeing Theo so happy. He’s doing really well lately, huh?” I ask, as we drive out of Salem and towards the suburbs of Boston.
She smiles and nods. “He’s told me a lot of stories about you guys. You used to be childhood best friends?” Luna seems like she genuinely wants to know. Not because she is jealous or looking for dirt or to start drama but because she is simply wanting to get to know me.
“We were. There was a bully who would always pick on me and Theo at the bus stop and well the rest is history. Stuff like that can really bond kids, ya know?” I muffle a laugh as I fiddle with my thumbs in my lap.
“Oh I know. I’ve worked out plenty of childhood trauma with my therapist.” She nods her head as she focuses on merging onto the highway. “So how does Cooper fit in? When did that all start?”
“Well Coop always protected us. He was always around with their mom working so much. He beat up that bully one day. Just showed up one morning at the bus stop and the kid was left bleeding in the grass. Never bothered us again. Cooper always took care of us.” I turn my head to look out the window remembering a time when I felt like nothing bad would ever happen to me again because Cooper was always there.
“You really love him don’t you?” Her cheery voice suddenly becomes softer.
“It’s complicated but he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. I don’t think I’m capable of loving anyone else. God knows for a while there I tried.” I mumble the last part, before meeting her compassionate eyes. I’m finding it a little hard to believe but Luna really might be the most sincere person I’ve ever met.
“I really like seeing him like this. Before Cooper seemed so… heavy.” She considers as she lets out a sigh. “Now he just seems lighter and I think it’s because of you, Kat.”
I can’t bring myself to form words so I just nod. Cooper is so sure that this is a second chance for us. That the sea, that fate, heard his cries and brought me back to him.
Where he saw a dream answered. I saw a nightmare.
Walking into the shop that morning I was on a high. Giddy to start a new job, in a new town, in a new apartment. The only constant was my best friend. I made a promise to myself that I was really going to move on and put the past behind me. I was finally ready to embark on a completely new phase of life.
Then I saw him, standing there, covered in tattoos, long honey curls and a burly beard but it was him. I would recognize him anywhere in this life or in any body in any life after this one.
I stood there frozen while my idea of a new Cooper-free reality came crashing down around me. Exposing me to all of his elements. With no shelter from the storm I knew I could never, would never, be able to resist getting swept away again.
* * *
Forty minutes later we pull up to a massive suburban home with a for sale sign in the professionally landscaped front lawn. Stepping out of the car I look up and down at the mature tree lined street.
Turning my gaze up to the classic New England brick colonial, I can’t picture Theo living in a place like this. So much has changed from the last letter he wrote me from prison.
“You’re looking to buy this house? You and Theo?” My mouth surely hangs open as we approach the realtor standing on the front porch waiting to escort us through the home.
“I know it’s a bit much for the two of us but Theo wants kids. We’ve already started trying but don’t tell anyone.” She brings a finger up to her mouth in a motion to keep her secret. However, I’ve seen her and Theo together and I don’t know who she is trying to fool.
We follow the realtor through the home and it’s beautiful. Even bigger than it looks outside. Two living rooms, a home office, five bedrooms, and four bathrooms, a dated but large kitchen with a breakfast nook and all season sun-room. Original wood detail and trim throughout.
It could use a little updating but the home has been owned by the same family for over fifty years, according to the realtor. When I heard that I smiled thinking about all the happy memories the previous family must have made within these walls.
It’s not hard to picture a little girl with long ringlet curls running around or a boy throwing a ball in the backyard.
Standing in the kitchen I look out the back window where the treeline of the wildlife reserve meets the fence, picturing the life they could make here.
“Let me know if you have any questions, Ms. Adamovich. I’ll be in the office. I just gotta take this call real quick.” I hear the Realtor’s voice behind me before I feel Luna’s hand against my back.
“This is a great house.” I say as I try to fight back this wave of unwarranted emotion.
“Are you alright?” Luna’s shoulders sag as she looks over at me.
“He really deserves this, you know. I am so happy for him, for you both.” I sniffle as I look away from the window.
“Oh Kat.” Luna soothes, as she pulls me in for a hug before pulling away and looking me in the eyes. “I’m so happy you’re here. One of the reasons I asked you to come wasn’t because Theo was busy, it’s because he couldn’t bring himself to come. He struggles with this sometimes.” She gestures to her ring and the house. “He doesn’t always feel like he deserves the things he does. He doesn’t always allow himself to want.”
“That sounds like Theo.” I nod as I attempt to dry my damp eyes. “The last letter I got from him in prison he sounded so hopeless and lost. That was a month before he was released. I was so worried about him when I didn’t hear from him again. I even broke my promise and called the prison but they said he was no longer an inmate. I immediately thought the worst. He wrote me one more letter after he met you and he said you made him feel again. Feel hope. Feel like doing and being better.” A single tear slips free when I pause to take a deep breath. “Knowing he was safe and he had you, I decided it was time to finally move on. Theo was the last string tying me to Cooper and he had you. When I moved to Salem I was ready to put everything behind me and start a new life.”
“Is that what you still want? To start a new life and move on?” She counters, and her understanding is so apparent I feel like I can tell her anything.
“It was a pipe dream. I know I can’t. Even if I could, I don’t know if I ever really wanted to.” I look down at my feet as she wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me back to the front of the house.
“Well good, because Theo is thrilled to have you back and you know… I don’t hate the idea of having another lady around.” She scrunches her nose at me.
We laugh as we say our goodbyes to the realtor and make our way back to our spooky coastal nook of New England.