38. Cooper
38
Cooper
I ’m sitting in a cell with my head leaning against the painted bricks that make up the walls as a tweaker rocks back and forth talking to himself while another shits on the communal toilet in the corner. Staring at the ticking clock I watch as the second hand eats up time and my patience.
I’ve been here for ten hours and eleven minutes.
Turning my head I follow the sound of boots stomping down the corridor. A cop stops in front of the metal bars and shoves a key into the lock. His eyes scan the holding cell as he slides open the door to the cage, calling out my full name, “Cooper Odin Cabrera. Your bail has been posted. Come get your shit and leave.”
Nodding, I push up off the steel bench and follow him down the long corridor until I see my brother standing in the lobby of the police station. We sign some forms as the clerk hands me a plastic bag full of my belongings before we make our way out the front door of the station.
Once outside Theo spins to face me. “What the fuck bro? You almost killed a guy on his wedding day?”
“Allegedly.” I grumble as I push him towards the parking lot.
“I parked over there.” He clicks the fob and the lights on a black Jeep Wrangler flash.
Once we are both in the car Theo blurts out question after question.
“What were you thinking?”
“What happened?”
“Why is Trin in the hospital?”
“Did you hit her?”
I glare at him for even asking me the last one and he waves his hands in the air.
“Where is she?” I grind out, rubbing my temple as I close my eyes. The image of her hitting the ground unconscious and unresponsive has played on repeat in my mind for the last ten hours and thirty four minutes.
As soon as I could, I used my one phone call to dial the only number I still knew by heart and the one person I knew would come.
Knowing my brother would answer. Theo and Luna immediately hopped on a plane and got here as soon as they could.
“She was transferred to some surgical hospital in Sumerlin. Luna’s there but they aren’t telling her much because she isn’t family.” Theo confesses and the pain in his voice isn’t giving me much hope.
“Then let’s go.” I demand as my hand comes down to slam on the dash.
Theo starts the Jeep and the GPS directs us there. Giving us an estimated time of arrival of another half hour.
My nerves are shot, my palms clammy and I can’t seem to stop bouncing my leg. Cuffed and being shoved into the back of a police car while Trinia was hauled off in an ambulance was one of the most helpless moments of my life. A feeling I know I’m not quite done with if she was transferred to a special surgical hospital like Theo just said.
“Come on man. Tell me what happened?” Theo’s plea pulls me from my spiraling thoughts as we sit at a red light.
“It was all a lie, man. A fucking stupid childish prank.” The words start to spill out jumbled together, barely forming sentences as flashes of the night race in my mind. “He took her from me. He hurt her. Nearly killed us both. It was all a lie.”
“Coop, calm down and start from the beginning. You’re not making any sense.” Theo drives forward when the light turns green.
I start from the beginning like he said and I tell him everything. I share how I was feeling in the Army after finishing basic training. How alone I felt, how depressed I was and how badly I missed him, Trin and even mom. How if it wasn’t for the threats of deserting my country I wouldn’t have even gotten out of bed in the mornings.
I go on to tell him how I met Alex, my roommate once I got on base, and how after a while he made it his mission to pull me out of my “funk”. He said a bunch of guys go through this their first couple months in, and if they don’t have someone to pull them out of the darkness they would drown. Suicide rates being high in the forces and all.
He told me all about his life as an army brat growing up when he took me out to a dive bar. Under the assumption we were singing karaoke and meeting up with a girl he just started seeing from town.
Alex said he set the whole thing up. He pushed Ashley on me. Basically planned this double date after she saw me around and how he kept ordering shots throughout the night. After I passed out at the bar they took me home and Alex figured a lucky night with a hot chick would help me “Get my groove back,” as he put it.
Even if it was a lie, he thought waking up with a pretty girl in my bed would be enough for me to “snap out of it”. I remember him going on and on about how I needed to move on from the past and look ahead towards my future. That nothing was ever the same after coming home and I might as well forget about the girl in high school.
What he didn’t know is that Trinia was coming down to surprise me and the whole plan to get me out of my funk completely backfired and made everything ten times worse.
I finish bringing Theo up to date and he doesn’t even take his eyes off the road. He’s too stunned to even look over.
“What the fuck?” Theo eventually lets out a sigh.
“I know. Eight years man. Gone. Down the drain. All that pain.” I rest my arm on the door frame and look out the window as palm trees glowing in the mid-day sun pass us by.
“And he never told you?” Theo’s voice is laced with disbelief.
“I guess he thought he did but he was so hungover the next day and wrapped up in his new relationship with Elle it must have slipped his mind.” I huff a laugh as Theo shakes his head. “I shut down after that anyway. Like you said I was a dead man walking.”
“Holy shit. This whole mess. The last eight years could have all been avoided…” His train of thought trails off as the GPS tells us we’ve arrived and we pull into the parking lot of the hospital.
My heart sinks as Theo doesn’t even park. He just pulls right up to the front door so I can get in there as fast as I can.
I leap out of the Jeep and run past the doors. Hurrying to the nurses station I ask a woman in blue Charlie Brown scrubs and a name tag with the name Carla written on it, “Where can I find my wife?”
“I’m going to need a name sir and what she is being seen for in order to tell you where she is.” Carla responds and I don’t even know what Trin is being seen for. I don’t fucking know what’s wrong with her.
“Her name is Katrinia Mikhaylov Cabrera. She was transferred here.” I pant as my heart races in my chest. I feel the seconds ticking away, like a bomb about to detonate, with every press Carla makes on her keyboard.
“I have a Trinia Mikhaylov on the second floor.” Carla answers as she looks up from her computer.
“That’s her.” I go to bolt for the elevator but stop and turn back around. “Ma’am, what’s on the second floor?” I hesitate with a gnawing sensation in my gut.
“It’s cardiac surgery, son. Looks like she went into the OR about an hour ago.” Carla gives me a solemn look and I give her a nod before turning back to make my way to the elevator. My feet suddenly feel like bricks of concrete as I step inside and push the button for the second floor.
Cardiac surgery. Cardiac surgery.
I just keep repeating those two words in my head over and over again as the elevator carries me to the second floor.
The cardiac surgery floor.
When the elevator dings to a stop I take another deep breath as the doors slowly glide open. Finally gathering the courage to open my eyes Luna is there, standing with her arms open. Red eyes clearly showing she was recently crying and I wrap her up, and hold her close.
“Oh Cooper, I’m so sorry.” Luna sobs into my chest.
I brush a hand down her hair and pull her tighter against me before I let her go. “What happened?” I finally bring myself to ask.
“I don’t know. The doctors aren’t giving me any updates but I was able to see her before she went into surgery.” Luna shakes her head as she wipes away a stray tear.
“Thanks sis. Theo’s coming in soon. I’m going to try to find out more information. Do you need anything?”
“No, Coop I’m fine. I’ll just be right over there if you need me.” Luna points towards a set of chairs in the corner where I spot her weekend bag and an open magazine on the table.
I nod before making my way over to the nurses station. These scrubs are different. All a singular color of red and no silly cartoons or humorous captions. I guess there is nothing funny about heart surgery.
“Can you tell me what’s happening with my wife Trinia Mikhaylov?” The nurse looks from me to the computer screen.
“It says here the patient is unmarried.” She affirms.
“My sister-in-law filled out the paperwork, yes?” I point to where Luna sits in the corner now with Theo.
“I believe so.” The nurse agrees after a few clicks.
“Simple mistake. Katrinia is mine. Now please tell me what happened to her.” I plead and the woman nods.
Picking up a clipboard she gestures for me to meet her at the end of the counter. She flips through some medical forms and goes on to explain. “She’s in surgery now with Dr. Ahmed. He is removing some scar tissue around her heart and performing a cardiac ablation to correct an arrhythmia. The patient was unconscious when she arrived but after looking into her medical history we didn’t find any proof she was aware of the problem. Was she taking any medications?” The nurse looks at me and I shake my head.
Not knowing anything about any of this medical jargon I swallow my pride and ask the nurse to break this all down for me. “Ma’am I run a tattoo shop in New England. That’s why we are even here in the first place. A convention downtown. Can you repeat what you just said, possibly in a way that I can understand what’s all going on. Is she going to be OK?”
“The doctor can explain in more detail when he is finished but he is one of the best in the west and our team is doing everything we can to make sure you get your wife back.” She gives me a look like she knows we aren’t yet married but knew I wasn’t going to go on without knowing anything. “A nurse will come get you when she is out of surgery. Shouldn’t be more than another hour or two.”
“Thank you.”
I turn around, defeated and feeling like I’m being buried alive with anxiety as I realize there is literally nothing I can do. As the helplessness sets in I feel my anger turning like a tide in my gut. Knowing I’m too angry to be around anyone, I watch as Theo embraces Luna from a distance before walking away down the hall.
Turning the corner I spot a small room full of vending machines. I could really use a cup of coffee I think as I dig out my wallet.
I put in my bill and make my selection but nothing happens. I put in another couple bucks and make my selections but the machine makes a whirring noise and again nothing happens.
My self loathing mixing with guilt and rage finally boils over as I slam my fist through the machine’s mocking image of a gourmet cappuccino. In the midst of kicking and slamming my body into the machine I feel a set of strong arms circle around me.
“Come on Coop. You need to calm down.” Theo whisper-shouts in my ear as he holds me back from behind. My chest is heaving as I break apart. Falling to the floor Theo falls with me. Gripping me tighter as I stop holding on so tight and let the tears fall.
“I looked it up. This is a really good hospital. She’s going to be fine Coop. She’s going to be fine.” My brother reassures me again and again but I’m not so sure.
Everything I googled on the plane comes rushing in. The articles I read about various heart defects and problems and all their survival rates. The way she passed out during sex and the way her pulse stumbles when my hand is wrapped around her throat.
I didn’t say anything. I planned on getting her checked when we got back home but I was scared and didn’t say anything.
“I just got her back. I can’t lose her again. I won’t make it.” My voice breaks on every word as Theo holds me tighter. I feel his chest tremble against my back but he doesn’t say another word.
He knows I’m speaking the truth. If Trin doesn’t make it, I won’t either. If I can’t have her in this life I will rush to meet her again in the next. It has always been and will always be us.