Chapter 4 #2
Ma had warned us plenty over the years. Nothing was set in stone, and many cases were unique.
In her years as a social worker, she had seen children off to foster families within a day or two, as well as months down the road.
So many factors needed to be taken into consideration, from the child’s well-being and readiness to the availability of foster families that had the right tools to create the best environment for that specific child. Or children.
Last but not least, there was the sad reality of most people wanting babies.
So, for older children, we could encounter social workers who were either incredibly eager to give them a new home, or they treated those kids as an afterthought in the paperwork mayhem because not many wanted to take them on.
The sun was about to come up when we reached the group home outside Philly. Hopped up on caffeine and shot nerves, I climbed out of the truck and peered up at the house.
It wasn’t the best area, but it seemed to be a fairly quiet street, consisting of two-story rowhouses. The group home was half fenced-in across numbers five, seven, and nine.
I hadn’t been here in…probably ten years. The front looked bleak, but I knew they had a courtyard in the back with some greenery, a swing set, sandbox, and picnic tables.
I joined Nathan on the curb, and he slipped his hand into mine.
Even though we had discussed everything we could think of during the drive, we were bound to be caught off guard by something.
My head was a fucking mess, and yet…I felt weirdly calm at the same time.
Or maybe that was the coping mechanism. Stay calm and don’t pull at a single thread up in the noggin.
We were as ready as we could be. We’d decided that we could both take time off work for an adjustment period, with me staying home longer because I wasn’t running my own business yet.
Nate was. We’d also said we were willing to move closer to Nate’s parents.
We liked Boston, but it wasn’t the city we’d imagined settling down in.
For the longest time, Philly had been home. Now I wasn’t opposed to checking out houses in Virginia or DC. Maybe Maryland.
This was part of why I’d saved my inheritance. I made decent money in my field, but nothing that would secure a nice house or set us up for comfort with a big family. Nathan had no money saved up, but his pay was way higher than mine. So, together, we were set in the best ways.
“I want this so much,” Nate whispered.
I squeezed his hand tightly, feeling my chest seize up. “Me too.”
Which meant…we were fucking terrified. We’d gone through lesser cases of heartbreak in the past, but now, because my mother was involved, we knew we were already in the deep end of the pool.
I cleared my throat, unable to speak, and nodded for the entrance where I knew Ma had her office. It was separate from the residential part.
Nathan followed as I headed toward the fence, and he didn’t release my hand.
I opened the squeaky metal gate, and we trailed up the stoop—
The door opened in a flash, revealing Ma with a big but tired smile. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen her hair in anything other than a messy ponytail with some scrunchie from the ’80s. Bangs too. And some cardigan with a green scarf.
Breathe.
“My sweet boys—you must be exhausted after driving all night.”
I barely felt the exhaustion, to be honest.
“Come in, come in.” She ushered us inside.
A few seconds blurred together between hugs and stilted chitchat; seriously, Ma, like we could even think about what we’d eaten on the way down? Thankfully, Ma’s coworker soon joined us in the narrow entryway, and she introduced herself as Colleen.
So, she was the one. She was the caseworker for Dylan and Hallie.
“I have heard so many great things about you.” She shook our hands and smiled, showing off teeth with lipstick on them.
“We’ve set up breakfast in our break room for Dylan and Hallie, if you’d like to join us.
They know they’re about to meet you, but so far, you’re here as Lynda’s son and son-in-law. ”
That might be for the best. It removed some pressure. If not from us, then from the kids. They didn’t have to worry about who we were yet.
“We appreciate that—we don’t want them to feel any unnecessary pressure.” Nathan responded when I couldn’t, and he echoed my thoughts.
“Dylan woke up in a better mood this morning, so that was a welcome surprise,” Colleen replied. “I don’t think they feel any pressure so much as anxiousness about the immediate future. They’re still worried about having to go back to their parents.”
I cleared my throat, forcing the words out. “Can we expect a fight from the father or extended family? Ma mentioned you looking into out-of-state solutions to get the kids away from Pennsylvania.”
Colleen paused with her hand on the door that led to…
somewhere. “Considering the father is facing charges for manslaughter and armed robbery, he won’t be a problem for a long, long time—if ever.
I wouldn’t worry about the rest of the family either.
I can’t go into detail, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before they become suitable as caregivers in any way. ”
I reckoned that could be both good and bad.
If any of the children had once had a healthy relationship with a family member, staying in touch and nurturing those connections could make the transition easier.
That was how it’d been for my brother anyway.
Theo had a biological uncle who was still in his life.
Colleen opened the door, and we followed her and Ma into a small kitchen, where my gaze immediately fell on the two little kids seated at the table by the window.
Jesus Christ, they’re real.
An old TV was hanging off the wall and playing cartoons that the little girl was watching. She and her brother had the same dark brown hair, but the girl’s was long and untamed from sleep.
My heart kept pounding as Colleen and Ma walked over to sit down at the table.
“Are you enjoying the cartoons, Hallie?” Colleen asked.
Hallie didn’t reply. She turned shy and ducked her gaze to her cereal.
Nathan was ready to move forward, so he released my hand and left my side, and I immediately flinched and flexed my hand, realizing just how tightly we’d held each other. Fucking hell, my hand was all pins and needles.
I swallowed dryly and somehow made my feet move me forward too.
“This is Nathan. I told you about him earlier,” Ma said gently to the kids. “He and my son Ash are together. They’re so excited to meet you.”
It didn’t escape my notice that she and Colleen were sharing the head of the table, leaving the two spots across from Dylan and Hallie to Nate and me. I also knew from Ma’s stories how these things worked. She and Colleen might leave the room if things went well.
Nate had just sat down across from Hallie when I reached my chair and found Dylan eyeing me curiously.
“Would you like bagels or cereal?” Colleen asked. “We have coffee, of course. Apple juice and tea too, I think.”
“We won’t turn down coffee, thank you,” Nate answered. “And whatever Hallie is having—that looks great.”
Get your shit together and use your words, idjit.
I cleared my throat and gestured at Dylan’s bowl of milk and Cocoa Puffs. “I’m the chocolate fanatic in the family.” Only candy I ate, aside from the occasional Jolly Rancher. “I wouldn’t mind some milk and Cocoa Puffs.”
Dylan shoveled more milk and cereal into his mouth, all while watching me with the greenest damn eyes. They were almost enough for me to miss the fading bruise on his jaw. Almost.
“I like chocolate,” he mumbled.
I mustered a faint smile, liking his voice already. “The trick is to use only a little milk and a lot of Cocoa Puffs.”
He cocked his head, and Colleen set a bowl in front of me, with the box of cereal and the milk.
“Watch this,” I said, pouring a bit of milk into my bowl. Followed by a generous portion of cereal that filled the bowl nicely. “You can’t even see the milk anymore.” I stirred it with my spoon until the milk turned brown. “This is all chocolate now.”
He didn’t smile or anything, but boy, did he look interested. He side-eyed the cereal box, and I wordlessly nudged it toward him.
“Ash is full of fun tricks like that, Dylan,” Ma divulged. “When he and his brother were little, you know what they did? They took a whole bunch of cocoa powder and just a teensy bit of milk, and that was how they made their own chocolate spread to put on toast.”
I shot her a playful scowl. “That’s what you got for hiding the candy stash.”
She blew me a kiss.
After breakfast, Dylan wanted to go outside, while Hallie wanted to watch a movie, so we split up. I headed out in the back with Dylan and Colleen, and Nate stayed with Hallie and Ma.
Dylan put on a light jacket and scurried over to the sandbox.
“Any way I can make him more comfortable?” I asked Colleen.
“If he wasn’t comfortable now, he wouldn’t have left his sister’s side.” She patted my arm. “This is going very well, I assure you.”
I exhaled. Good to know.
I trailed over to the sandbox while Colleen hung back.
Dylan cupped his hand and dug a slithering trench in the soft-looking sand.
“What’re you making, kiddo?” I asked and sat down on the edge of the sandbox.
“A river,” he answered. “Liam from kindergarten gots a Lego city with a river like this.”
“That’s cool. Sounds like something you could wish for for your birthday. It’s comin’ up, innit?”
He squinted at me, maybe a little puzzled. “I’m almost six.”
I smiled. “Ms. Lynda told me that. That needs to be celebrated.”
He sat back in the sand and wiped his hands on his legs. “We sing ‘Happy Birthday’ in class, and there’s a crown. Sometimes, we get ice cream.”
That was telling. And sobering. His mind didn’t wander to birthday parties at home, but to how they celebrated it in kindergarten.
Dylan shrugged a little and went back to digging. “I don’t go to kindergarten now.”
I wasn’t surprised. If they stayed here long, I assumed the plan was to put him in kindergarten elsewhere, but the hope was obviously that it would fall on the foster family.
And so help me God, it was going to be Nate and me.
We’d throw the boy a party too. Every child deserved a safe childhood with birthday parties, holiday celebrations, food on the table, security, and being told to go clean their room.
A few minutes later
Philadelphia
Nathan Mills
How quickly could one buy a house? Because Ash and I had to leave Boston like fucking yesterday. Not only did we want to give these two children all the stability and comfort they needed, but we wanted to be closer to family. We were going to need help.
My dad and stepmom definitely wanted us closer, and Lynda and Geoff weren’t exactly subtle in their quest to get us to leave Boston.
“You wouldn’t rather play a game, Hallie?” Lynda wondered.
She stood in the corner of the little common room, where they had a bunch of board games in crates on the floor.
Hallie merely shook her head and pulled a blanket up to her chin.
I sat next to her on the couch, leaving plenty of space between us in case she was uncomfortable.
“How about a juice box?” Lynda asked next.
At that, Hallie nodded.
“May I have one too?” I asked.
“Of course,” Lynda chuckled. “I’ll be right back.”
Once she’d left the room, I tilted my head toward Hallie.
“Juice boxes are awesome,” I said. “Do you have a favorite flavor? Mine is grape or apple.”
Hallie glanced at me with curiosity in her eyes, though her shyness won out seconds later, and she returned her gaze to the Disney movie running on the old TV.
Something told me it was going to take a while to get this little one to relax fully.
I was okay with that.
I pulled out my phone and texted Ash.
How quickly can we relocate to Virginia or thereabouts?
“Here we go. We have apple and cranberry.” Lynda returned with two juice boxes, and she held them out for Hallie to pick first.
The little girl sat forward a bit and picked the pink one. “Thank you,” she mumbled shyly.
“You’re very welcome, Hallie.” Lynda handed me the apple one. “I’ll be in the kitchen with my crossword puzzle if you need anything, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I inclined my head.
Hallie had no issues sticking the straw into her juice box.
Lynda disappeared again.
I extended my juice box to Hallie. “You did that so well. Can you help me with mine?”
She quirked a hint of a smile at that, and she accepted the juice box.
“I always break the straw,” I chuckled quietly.
She ducked her head, her hair falling forward like a curtain, and she returned the juice box to me with the straw in.
“Thank you very much.” I took a sip, and my phone vibrated at the same time.
A response from Ash.
We’ll talk to Ma and Colleen after. My guess is that we’ll visit the kids for a few days. You might as well cancel your sessions for Monday and Tuesday too. When we’re not here, you and I are house hunting. We’ll call the bank first thing Monday morning.
A rush of excitement hit me—because we were, as always, on the same page. We were going to fight.
“I like chocolate milk too.” Her voice was barely louder than a whisper, yet it captured my attention as if she’d screamed.
I put down my phone and turned to her. “It’s delicious, isn’t it?”
She bobbed her head and drank her juice.
I wanted to give her all the chocolate milk in the world.
“Ash loves it too. He would drink it all the time if he could, day and night.”
That earned me a blush and the quickest of smiles.
I’ll never forget that night. We stayed at your parents’ house, and the moment we were alone in one of the guest rooms, we didn’t let each other go.
We didn’t speak for at least an hour either.
We couldn’t. Our minds had entered the race of a lifetime in order to make this work.
It was everything we wanted. We wanted to be their parents.
Instead of using words, we reminded each other with touch. When I sighed, you squeezed me harder on the bed. When I sensed your restlessness, I cupped your cheek and pressed my lips to your jaw.
We always charged our batteries together.