Chapter 6
Five years ago
Arlington
Ash Riley
“I’m serious, Ash.”
I unlocked my truck and glanced at Nate over my shoulder. “About what?”
“The munch.”
I furrowed my brow and stopped. What he said didn’t make a lick of sense. He had to be joking.
He put on his shoes and closed the door behind himself—for a semblance of privacy, maybe. The kids were running berserk inside, with my mother trying to tame Hallie’s hair after her shower.
“If you wanna go, just go,” I said. I didn’t have time for that nonsense.
Nate’s jaw ticked with tension, and he walked closer, almost tripping over Dylan’s scooter.
It was poetic. He’d chosen our overgrown, messy front yard to lay into me? About a fucking munch?
“Six months ago when I became a member at Mclean House, you promised me you’d come with me to the next munch,” he told me. “Do you remember that?”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“It’s been five munches since then,” he finished.
I faced him and folded my arms over my chest. “Lemme get this straight. Our house is packed with wedding decorations, Ma’s running wild, we have guests flying in tomorrow…
Two days before we get married in front of all our family and friends, and six days before we welcome home two new children—one of who needs medical care—you decide to get on my case about a goddamn munch? ”
I was impressed. He didn’t even flinch. Instead, he took a step closer, and he was dead serious.
“I’m not asking, Ash,” he said quietly. “It’s a condition. Or we’re not walking down the aisle.”
Whoa—what the fuck? I was the one who reeled back, and I looked at him incredulously.
“I have been so fucking patient,” he said. “But I’m not taking another step forward with a man who’s suppressing a part of himself. You’ve claimed numerous times that you identify strongly with Daddy Doms, and in the fifteen fucking years we’ve been together, you haven’t explored it a single time.”
I swallowed hard, too taken aback to get defensive. He’d never played that card before. Nathan wasn’t like that. He didn’t throw out ultimatums in the heat of the moment.
“This isn’t a hobby,” he continued. “It’s who you are—and you’re denying it, you’re pushing it down, because of what? You’re afraid we might get hurt?” He pointed to himself. “I’m already hurt, Ash. The alternative can’t be worse.”
“It can if we lose each other,” I spat out, and those seven words set me off. My chest felt tight, unease churned in my stomach, and I just wanted to erase the past two minutes from existence.
“We’re not gonna lose each other.” He closed the distance between us and cupped my face in his hands. “We’re stronger than that, baby. We can find a way to enjoy the best of both worlds. It’s working for me, isn’t it?”
That was different. He didn’t require all that much intimacy with his rope bunnies, and bondage was nonsexual to him.
“You know that’s not the same,” I gritted out.
He nodded once. “But it was still something we had to work ourselves up to at some point. We didn’t dive in.
I understand that you need an emotional attachment to a Little, but up until you’ve actually explored the kink, you don’t know just how much of an attachment. You could be worrying for nothing.”
I swallowed again, and my stomach tightened further.
“I’m not asking you to jump into a dynamic with someone else,” he implored.
“I’m telling you to march your fine ass with me to the munch tomorrow.
I want you to get involved. Make friends.
Become a part of the community. You’ll find plenty of primal Sadists and Daddy Doms at Mclean.
” He paused. “And yes, I picked today of all days to get on your case, because I have plans on Saturday, and once Micah and Lily come home, I doubt I’ll want to leave their side for the next several months. ”
That motherfucker. He could tear me apart and put me back together in a hot second.
I felt drained. Fuck the to-do list and picking up our suits.
I needed a nap. I wasn’t completely healed—a potential future in kink still bothered me, but he was right.
I’d been too dismissive about the lifestyle for too long.
“I’ll march my fine ass to the munch tomorrow,” I muttered.
He smiled and kissed me quickly. “Thank you. You’re in luck—they’re usually hosted on Sundays, but they wanted to try something new.”
Oh yeah, I felt really lucky.
“Uh-huh. By the way, we’re calling him Mikey, not Micah,” I said.
“That’s up to him, sweetheart.” He kissed me again. “Go pick up our suits—and don’t forget Hallie’s shoes.”
I nodded with a dip of my chin and stepped back, and it hit me I had one more thing to say. So I grabbed his hand and kissed the top of it.
“I’m sorry.” I meant it. I honestly hadn’t known he’d been so bothered—or even upset.
“Water under the bridge.”
Maybe. But now I had work to do. I had to show him I was willing to work toward a solution.
The following evening, as Nate’s old man was putting together a crib at our house and the kids got spoiled by our mothers, I found myself smack-dab in the middle of DC.
It’d been a while since I’d had a reason to put on a pair of nice pants and a button-down—unless we counted the flannel variety.
I folded up the sleeves as we walked toward the bar across the street.
“They turn that into a brunch place on Sundays?” I questioned.
“No, this is another establishment,” Nate replied. “I’ve mentioned Macklin, haven’t I?”
I nodded once. A switchy guy.
“They host the regular munch at his restaurant a few blocks from here,” Nate went on.
“From what I understand—I spoke to Ivy, the woman who runs most of the munches—they’re trying to recruit more members from their own online forum, and a lot of people are busy on the weekends.
So it was suggested to try a bar meetup on a Friday and see if more people show up. ”
I guessed it was a decent plan if a lot of their members had children who kept them busy on the weekends. Not unlike us.
“So, the guys who founded the community… It’s Macklin, Reese, Colt, and…Lucas?”
“Um, Reese has a twin brother—River. And let’s see…” He squinted at nothing as he pondered. “There’s a woman too. Penelope, I think. Lucian. Oh, and Greer. That’s Kyle’s brother.”
I smirked. “Did you tell him we’ve met his brother?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Truth be told, I’m not close to any of the founders. Lucas would be the exception. He’s into bondage too.”
Made sense. From the stories Nate had brought home from these events, I knew his focus had been on establishing a bondage crowd at Mclean, and it sounded like he’d made progress.
I grabbed his hand and threaded our fingers together, and…for the first time, I felt a pinch of envy. Nathan had gone out there and pursued his passions. He shared names of people he called friends now, people I’d never even met—and two of them were coming to the wedding tomorrow.
Mclean House was apparently a predominantly gay community—as in gay men—but everyone was welcome, and Nathan had grown close to a lesbian couple.
I wanted kinky friends too. Friends I didn’t have to drive five hours to see.
“All right,” I said. “Time to remind people I can actually be social.”
“I have a name, love.”
I snorted and shook my head in amusement.
We entered the bar together, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the music wasn’t too loud—because yeah, I’d reached that age. I didn’t wanna have to yell in order to be heard.
The place was packed but seemed kinda chill, with dim lighting and the interior painted in dark reds, purples, and oranges. Nate gestured toward the back, and I followed him to a more secluded area behind a purple velvet rope that sported a sign. Private party.
A young woman greeted Nathan and checked our names off a list before we could pass.
Some fifteen, maybe twenty, people were mingling in the private area, and they had ordered bottle service for the low tables. The edges were lined with cushy sofas, and the artwork on the walls was of soul musicians.
It didn’t escape my notice that several people greeted Nathan with smiles and indications that they wanted to talk to him when he had a moment. They knew him here. He was part of the community.
He leaned in close and spoke in my ear. “I wanna introduce you to Reese first. I have a feeling you’ll like him.”
All right, then.
He must’ve spotted the man, because we headed directly for a far corner where I spotted two tall men chuckling and drinking beer, and a carbon copy of one of them was seated on a sofa, looking like he didn’t wanna be here.
“Reese! Colt!” Nathan reached the men, who glanced at him and smiled.
“Hey, Nate, how are ya?”
“Glad you could make it.” Reese shifted his gaze to me. “Is this the elusive hubby?”
“This is my Ash, yes,” Nate chuckled. “Only took me six months to recruit him!”
“It’s possible I forgot I don’t have to spend every Friday night on the couch,” I said, extending my hand. “Nice to meet you both.”
Reese smirked and shook my hand firmly. “You too, man.”
“Yeah, welcome to Mclean.” Colt shook my hand next. “Will you be runnin’ the bondage community with Nate?”
“Fuck no, I was born without patience,” I replied.
“He’s more of a hunt them down and beat them into submission kind of player,” Nate divulged with his own smirk.
Hey, if the shoe fit.
“My kinda man,” Reese laughed. “Plenty of us here. What’s your poison?” He gestured at the nearest table that had two ice-filled beverage tubs with beers, booze, and mixers.
“Seeing as we’re getting hitched tomorrow, I better stick to beer.” I grabbed a lager and twisted the cap off.
“Well, hey. Congrats.” Colt tipped his own bottle in our direction.
“Cheers,” I said.
Nathan leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I’m gonna leave you alone with your fellow Sadists while I catch up with some friends. Send me your panic look if you need me to rescue you, okay?”
I grinned and stole a quick kiss. “I think I’ll manage.”