Chapter 10
Twelve months ago
Alexandria
Ash Riley
Sixteen minutes, and then I could breathe again.
Daddy had given himself a raise, so I wanted to get a head start on picking the best gift for Hallie’s birthday. Which wasn’t for another two weeks, but whatever. It wasn’t like I had a life anymore. Besides, it wasn’t every day you became a teenager.
Someone knocked on the door to my office, and Theo soon poked his head in.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He glanced at the absolute mess I was surrounded by. But unlike him, office work was a necessary evil that I avoided as much as possible. I was in the office two days a week. I belonged on the sides of buildings.
“I bet I can find files in here that are older than your children,” he told me.
“I’m sure.” I shrugged and scratched my nose.
He nodded at my desk, which was definitely buried underneath a bunch of shit. “Did you go through the résumés?”
Oh yeah, I had them here somewhere. I dug for the stack under a pile of magazines and orders— “Here. I sorted them by which ones I liked the most.”
He came over and grabbed the stack from me. “James Hackett,” he read aloud.
Yup, yup. Thirty-eight years old, with fifteen years of experience in construction and scaffolding. Theo was expanding the former, which was why we needed to hire at least three new guys.
“If we’re low on construction gigs, I can always use an extra guy on my crew,” I said.
“All right, I’ll make some calls,” Theo said. “When are you off?”
I checked my watch. “In fourteen minutes.”
An extra minute to get out of the building and lay eyes on my girl again.
Nathan had promised he’d drop her off on time.
My brother tilted his head at me. “What’s on the forget-about-reality agenda today?”
I wasn’t forgetting anything. This was my new reality.
“Video games with Hallie,” I replied. “Probably pizza first.”
I had three good hours almost every day after work when I spent time with one of the kids.
It was the next step in this excruciating transition, to get the kids used to spending more time with us one-on-one.
Food, homework, hanging out, then back to the house—in that order.
I’d be there for the bedtime routine, read a story or two to Lily, and then I left to return to a studio apartment I hated.
I died there every night.
We shared a pizza on the way to the apartment, and then Hallie finished her homework while I prepared our video game date. The coffee table she’d picked out was my kitchen table, my nightstand, occasionally my desk, and my hallway dumping site.
I’d had a choice when I’d found the place. Use up the space for a comfy bed and a small-ass couch—and never have the kids over. Or turn the single area into a living room. It’d been a no-brainer. The big sectional was also a pullout bed, so if sleepovers happened in the future, I was ready.
Hallie had helped me decorate, but it hadn’t been a fun experience for either of us.
Copies of school pictures had ended up on the walls, she’d chosen dark blue drapes and blankets for me, and I’d assembled the tiny entertainment unit for a flat-screen and some macaroni art I’d stolen from the house.
Some drawings and clay trinket dishes too.
I didn’t want anything else, and I hoped to whoever listened that I wouldn’t stay here for a long time. A year, max. Max.
After that… Unless Nathan hit his head and decided to take me back, I was gonna have to find a proper house.
“Dad, when are you seeing Dylan?”
“Later tonight when I drop you off.”
“I mean, like this—when it’s just you and him.”
“Uh, on Friday, I think,” I answered, pouring a bag of popcorn into the bowl. “If he doesn’t cancel.”
I wouldn’t blame the kid. Fridays were sacred to teenagers, and I’d already offered to change our day. But so far, so good.
“I don’t think he’ll cancel. He wants to talk to you about something.”
I glanced at her, curious. She was sitting in the corner of the couch, holding a textbook, and I hoped the gossip was juicy. Otherwise, I couldn’t allow her to stall the damn homework.
Hallie smirked. “He told Dad last night that he wants to join the military after high school.”
Uh…
I squinted, wondering if this was separation-related.
Hallie had been easy in terms of Nate and me knowing how to handle her, ’cause she made shit very clear. When she was sad, she showed it. When she was pissed, she slammed the door. Dylan, on the other hand… He stewed in silence, whether he was upset or angry or just annoyed.
We’d been making progress lately, though.
Nate and I had tapped into their language by embedding questions into activities.
When Hallie and I fought zombies together on a TV screen, she was weirdly talkative.
I could ask her almost anything. And when Dylan and I went to the driving range a couple times a week, his guard was lowered.
As long as I never lost my patience, I could get a good sense of his mood.
Nate shared a similar dynamic with them, only he went swimming with Dylan and took Hallie out for ice cream after soccer practice.
“What did Dad say?” I asked.
“He went into shrink mode and wondered if Dylan was angry with you two.”
Yeah, that sounded like Nate.
“Are you gonna ground him?” Hallie couldn’t look more gleeful if she tried.
“Why would I do that?” I furrowed my brow. “He’s not even fifteen yet.” He was gonna change his mind plenty before I had any reason to worry. “I might ground you for tryna get your brother into trouble.”
Girl wasn’t intimidated for shit. Instead, she batted her lashes at me. “You wouldn’t do that to me, Daddy. Until you and Dad get together again, you’ll be sweeter than sugar.”
Good God. I didn’t know what was worse, her certainty that Nate and I would reunite, or that she was dead on the money. I had lost some of my authority in the separation, because I felt fucking guilty. And she knew. She was some goddamn smarty-pants.
“Daddy and I aren’t getting back together, sweetheart.”
She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t believe it at first either, but this is so not how Bridget’s parents act toward each other. They’re always fighting—and they met new people so fast. You and Dad are miserable without each other. I notice stuff, you know.”
“Hold on,” I said. “Bridget’s parents are splittin’ up?”
“They already did. Her dad moved out before the holidays.”
Huh. Did not know that. We tried to keep up with the basics, at least if it was a close friend of one of our kids. But this must’ve been going on for a while if they’d separated just a few months ago and were already dating other people.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I murmured. “How’s Bridget doing?”
She grew a little uncomfortable as I shifted the focus. “She’s okay, I guess. She gets sad sometimes and…” She trailed off and fidgeted with her ponytail. “I’m glad you and Daddy don’t say mean things about each other.”
Ah.
Maybe that was what Bridget’s folks were doing.
I sat down next to her and put a hand on her knee. “You know there’s a list of bad shit I’ll always say about him.”
Her mouth twitched with mirth. “That he sucks at Monopoly?”
“Sucks so bad,” I agreed.
She giggled. “And, um… Oh! He’s not allowed to decorate cupcakes.”
“That’s two. One more.” I smiled. “If I say barbecue…”
Her eyes widened as she remembered. “Don’t ever let him near the grill when you have steaks on there! He makes them super dry.”
I chuckled. “There you go. Like, who the fuck likes a steak well done?”
She finally let out a laugh, and that was all I’d wanted to hear.
I felt like I wanted to count them these days. Each one meant the world to me.
I had no idea if I would ever recover from this dumbass separation, but I was over the moon happy to see Hallie and Dylan making progress.
Yeah, they had been extremely upset when we’d broken the news, but I fully believed we’d offered a softer landing for them—and I didn’t regret it for a second. It alleviated some of my guilt, and more than that, we were still a family. Two dads, four kids.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was an option for every couple going through a divorce, but it worked for us. The softer landing was for Nate and me too. We didn’t have to go a whole week without seeing the kids, and we still had to come up with family activities for Micah’s and Lily’s sakes.
It was torture and sweet relief all at once.
Been a while since we saw you, buddy. You wanna grab a beer after work tomorrow?
Another time, Greer.
I reached across the seat and pushed open the passenger’s side door. “Hey, kiddo.”
Dylan jumped in and mustered a quick smile. “Hey.”
“How was school?”
He shrugged and fastened the seat belt.
Good talk.
“You wanna eat first, or…?” I pulled away from the curb and straight into traffic.
“Uh, yeah.” He shifted in his seat and opened his gym bag. “Hoagies?”
“You got it.” I knew a place. Guy from Philly ran it.
Dylan changed into the shoes he wore when playing golf, and he replaced his Eagles cap with a Titleist cap.
“So, uh…your darling sister snitched on you the other day,” I mentioned. “Said you wanna enlist after high school.”
He huffed. “Of course she did.”
I’d wanted to talk to him yesterday when I’d dropped Mikey off at the house, but Dylan was always off with friends.
He was a popular kid, one of those who didn’t really love the attention.
Which, of course, worked for the girls. The less interested he was, the more they ran after him.
He was getting tall too, in the middle of a growth spurt, and he was athletic and just devilish enough.
Lastly, his voice had changed, and the last traces of our little boy were practically gone.
“Which branch were you thinking?” I checked the side-view and switched on the turn signal. If that dude didn’t let me in soon, I’d take liberties.
“I don’t know. Marines, maybe.”