Chapter 17
ASPEN
“Five grand to have dinner with a guy! That’s insane, Aspen. I love hanging out with you, but that’s a crap ton of money for one date.” Jude says this to me every time I take a job with the escort agency.
“What can I say… I’m good company.”
“You’re banging hot. That’s the real reason. I can understand a wealthy businessman wanting to have you on his arm. Are you ever tempted to spend the night?”
“Do I ever consider becoming a whore? No, I don’t care how hot a guy might be or how much money he has, I would never cross that line.”
“I’m sorry. I was only messing with you. Has something happened?” Concern etches itself in the furrow of her brow. “Did one of those assholes proposition you?”
“No. My boss found out.”
“The chef?” She dumps herself down on my bed, sitting cross-legged and reaching for one of my pillows. “Shut up! What did he say?”
“He called me a whore.”
“What? How did he find out anyway?”
“We were at a black-tie event. I was with my client, and he saw us together. First, he assumed I was cheating on him.” “Shit. You knew this was a possibility when you’re dating the guy.”
“Was. Not anymore. Not after how he lost it.”
“You’ve barely told me anything about him. It’s not like you, Aspen. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I don’t have to tell you anything. I’m a big girl. I can deal with my own shit.”
“We tell each other everything. Or at least I thought we did.” I can’t stand to see her so disappointed in me.
I seem to be doing that to everyone right now.
Her crestfallen expression fills me with guilt.
I just figured it would be easier to maintain the terms of the NDA.
Ryder is a huge part of that, and how could I gush about him or the stuff we’ve been getting up to at Venom?
I know by his standards we’ve been ‘vanilla,’ but I’d want to tell Jude every little detail, and it took place in a building I’m not allowed to speak about.
“I’m not proud of myself, Jude. It’s nothing you did. And at this point, it doesn’t even matter. Whatever arrangement we had is over now. He thinks I’m no better than a cheap hooker.”
“If you like him, just talk to him.”
“I don’t want to. He made up his mind about me that night, and if that’s the man he wants to be, then I want nothing to do with him.”
“Are you going to quit your job?” Jude picks at a loose thread on my pillow.
“I’m not sure. The past few weeks have been torture.”
“This happened weeks ago?” she blurts out in anger.
“I’m sorry, Jude. It’s complicated.”
“So uncomplicate it.”
“I’ve almost got enough to start my own restaurant. A few more months of working as an escort, and I can quit and go my own way.”
“So, why not just quit the job with Mr. Sexy Chef?”
“Because no matter how much of an ass he is, I’m learning so much that will be invaluable to me for the future.”
“Has he tried to talk to you about it?”
“Yes, but I’ve heard enough. I don’t need a guy who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth to judge me on how I’m funding my dream of owning my own restaurant,” I say it with as much detachment as I can muster, but by the look on Jude’s face, I’m failing miserably.
“Do what you’ve got to do and make no apology for it to any man. I think you’re incredible, and I love that you are making your dreams happen. I’ve always admired that about you, Aspen.”
“Really?”
She jumps off the bed and pulls me into her arms. “Truly.”
“Thank you.”
“You can always talk to me, friend. Tell me you know I would never judge you for your decisions?”
“I’m sorry, Jude.” We hug it out for a minute before I have to finish getting ready for tonight’s client.
I’m always nervous when I meet a new client, but we’re meeting at the restaurant located at The Four Seasons.
It’s a beautiful place to eat, and it’s very public.
He will already have been made aware that I do not meet in hotel rooms, and I will not accompany him to his room under any circumstances.
When I’ve checked my makeup for the tenth time, Jude gives me her usual speech.
“Okay. I have your location. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, send me a text. It doesn’t need to be a full message. If I get so much as a ‘.’ from you, I’ll come get you.”
“I know the drill.”
“Have you got your pepper spray in case he gets handsy?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Do you have your rape alarm?”
“Yes,” I exclaim like a sullen teenager appeasing helicopter parents.
“I’m just looking out for you.”
“I know, but I’ll be fine. The agency thoroughly vets clients before we meet.”
“Okay, but still… if you need me, you call.”
“I will. I promise.”
As the cab pulls up outside the hotel, butterflies take flight in the pit of my stomach. I’ve done this a hundred times, so it shouldn’t be this nerve-racking. My mind is all over the place tonight. This is the first date I’ve signed up for since that night with Ryder.
He consumes my thoughts. I’m happy to get away from him for a night and spend it with someone who wants me around, even if they’re paying me.
Every night in the restaurant has been painful.
The way he looks at me, the pity in his eyes, the scent of his cologne mixed with the aroma of food that is so good it makes me want to cry.
When he brushes past me in the kitchen, I can’t breathe.
I pay the cab driver and head inside. I like to arrive a little early, just to get my bearings. Ordering a drink at the bar, I take a seat and attempt to quell my nerves, and stop my mind from wandering to that dark blond hair and lips that were meant for—
“Is this seat taken?” My body turns to ice, frozen to the spot.
“Yes. I’m waiting on someone.”
“I know.”
I turn to face Ryder, and he is impossibly handsome in a three-piece navy-blue suit. “What are you doing here? Are you following me?”
“I’m not a stalker for fuck’s sake.”
“Then how did you know I’d be here?”
“Because you’re my escort for the evening.”
I grab my purse and stand to leave. I’m not doing this.
“Sit down.”
“I’m not your plaything, Ryder. This is my job. You don’t get to come in and fuck it up for me.”
“You really shouldn’t swear. Your mouth is too beautiful for such profanity.”
“But it’s fine if it is wrapped around your cock? Make up your mind, Ryder. You want me to do unspeakable things as long as it’s on your terms. I can say whatever the fuck I fucking-well want to.”
As I move to pass him, his hand brushes my wrist. “Sit down… please.”
I extricate myself from his grasp. “Why? It’s not okay for other men to pay to have a nice dinner and chat with me about their lives, but it’s fine when you want to buy me? You don’t get to have it both ways.”
“We need to talk. Please, for God’s sake, just have a drink with me.”
“Don’t worry, they won’t charge you for the evening when I decline the date.”
“Well, I already paid them double to make sure the only person you go out with is me.” He’s got to be shitting me right now.
“You’re messing with my livelihood.”
“You’re earning twice as much. How is that screwing with you?”
“Well, clearly my agent is pocketing the other five grand. It doesn’t even matter because I’m not going to be bought by you, Ryder Stevens. You’re a dick for trying.”
He clutches my chin before planting a raw, primal kiss on my lips. “If ‘dick’ is in your mouth, I’d rather you be choking on it rather than saying it. Now, do as you’re told, baby girl, and sit down.”
I hate that every cell in my body reacts to him, and I hate that I find myself sitting down. I should walk away. He doesn’t deserve another minute of my time, and yet he paid ten grand to have a conversation with me tonight or to keep other men away from me.
“Thank you,” he says as he takes the barstool next to me.
“What do you want, Ryder? You can’t just buy me every time I want to work.”
“I can, and I will… Danielle.”
“It’s not your place to make that choice. We’re not married. We’re not even dating. We fucked a few times, and you made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want me past that. I’m doing this job so I have enough money to buy my own restaurant.”
“How much do you need? I’ll write you a check.” Is he serious?
“I don’t know what kind of caveman you are, but I’m not for sale. I would never take your money. This is my dream, and I’ll get there on my own.”
“That’s all well and good, but you better find another way to finance it.” Now I’m just angry.
“You’re not the boss of me. I may work for you in that den of iniquity, but once I step foot outside, what I choose to do is not your concern.”
“Except it is, because I can’t stop fucking thinking about you.”
“That’s not my problem. Go live out your fucked-up kinks with someone else.” The deep knit of his brow has me wishing I could take those words back.
“I know I’m fucked up. That’s why I didn’t drag you into my world. I would’ve given it up for you, Aspen. But you lied to me, and that’s not something I can get past.”
“I didn’t fucking lie! How much do you know about your other employees outside of work?”
“Cut out the fucking swearing, or I’ll put you over my knee and show you how fucked up I can be.” A thrill courses through me.
“Do you even hear yourself? I’m a grown woman. What gives you the right to ‘put me over your knee’ like a goddamn child? And answer the fucking question. What do you know about your other employees?”
“It’s not a fair comparison,” he rumbles.
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve never been balls deep in an employee before.
” My stomach lurches up into my throat. He leans in, his lips brushing the shell of my ear.
“I’ve never spread their legs in my kitchen and devoured them like they are my next meal.
I don’t know how any of them taste. And you taste.
So. Fucking. Good. Baby girl. You’re all I can think about. ”
My pulse is racing so hard it’s whooshing in my ears. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to value yourself enough not to sell your time to lowlifes who think it’s okay to buy women.”