Chapter 21
ASPEN
“Do you want me to fuck you without feeling? I can’t do that, not with you.
Do you want me to punish you for ripping my heart out every time you brushed past me up in that kitchen?
Or do you want a demonstration of my class this evening?
” My heart is hammering so hard it’s going to burst out of my chest.
Standing before him now—after everything we’ve been through—naked and vulnerable, I find myself lost for words.
“I don’t know.”
“I want to fuck you so hard right now, baby girl, but I’m not touching you until you tell me what you want.”
“All I know is that you make me want things I’ve never even contemplated before. I’ve never wanted a man to punish me. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I would knock out any man who tried. But with you, I feel confused. I find myself wanting to please you.”
“You’ve got the makings of a stunning submissive, but I will not and cannot be your sole reason for stepping into this arena.
If you can honestly tell me that you are interested in this lifestyle regardless of my wants and needs, then I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll forget your own name.
I will worship at your altar with every fiber of my being. ”
I’m so far out of my comfort zone right now. I’m a lights-off-hide-under-the-covers kind of girl. I have more curves than any woman I’ve met here. They outshine me at every turn, but I ended up here tonight for a reason.
“I had a fight with my best friend tonight, and I ended up here. In Mistress Genevieve’s playroom.” His jaw visibly tightens, and I think back to only moments ago on the floor above this one.
“What the fuck did she do?”
“Nothing. I asked to be shown around. I was with a girl named Jenna.”
“And what happened? I swear to God you’re trying to kill me, Aspen.”
“We asked what a riding crop felt like. She smacked my hand once. That’s it. I didn’t do anything. I can’t.”
“You can’t?”
“Are you really going to make me spell it out?”
“Yes. Within the walls of this club, everything has to be spelled the fuck out.”
“I was turned on at the bite of the crop. I imagined what it would feel like elsewhere.”
“Christ.”
“I was thinking what it would feel like if you used it on me. On my ass. My…”
“You can say it, baby girl. It’s not a dirty word.”
“My pussy.”
He slowly circles me, caressing my back, sending a shiver down my spine. “So you want me to punish you? What am I punishing you for?”
“For not telling you I was an escort.”
“And?” He leans in, letting his lips brush my neck. “What else? What have you done tonight, baby girl?”
“I…” I can’t think straight with his lips on me. My nipples are tightly budded, begging for his touch, and the growing ache between my legs has me on the edge of madness.
“You are so very beautiful. It would be a shame if I couldn’t bury myself between your legs tonight.”
“I… I shouldn’t have been in Mistress’s room.”
“Bingo. Good girl, but neither of your admissions was an apology. If you want me to punish you, then you’ll get on your knees like a good little sub and say you’re sorry.”
I’m a goddamn feminist. This goes against everything I believe, and yet I find myself wanting to do it. I’m so wet for Ryder right now, it’s embarrassing.
I lower myself to my knees.
“Legs spread wide. I want you to feel that ache I know is driving you crazy right now.” I do as I’m told, and my level of arousal amps up. It’s a visceral reaction throughout my entire body.
Ryder fists his hand in my hair, shoving my head forward until I’m looking at the floor.
“Eyes on the floor until I tell you otherwise.”
He walks behind my back before running his hands over my shoulders and down my arms, gripping my wrists and tugging.
He places my hands behind my head, pushing my breasts out.
Leaning in, he whispers in my ear, “This is how you present yourself to me. If I tell you to go into this room and wait for me, you will strip and take this position. Understood?”
“Yes.”
He slaps my breast, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my core. “Yes, Sir. When you are in this room, I am your Master. You will address me with the respect I have earned as a Dominant. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.” Holy shit. Every cell in my body is screaming for more of this man, and it’s confusing and arousing.
“Good girl. Now, you may apologize for your earlier transgressions.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you I am an escort, Sir.”
“You were an escort. Not anymore. Go on.”
“I will not give up my dream this close to fruition. I will do whatever you want in here, but out there, I’m my own person, Sir.”
“Get dressed.”
My eyes snap up to meet his. “What?”
“I will buy you every fucking time. Unless you are prepared for me being the only person paying for your company… Danielle… this is going nowhere. Get dressed. We’re done here.”
“You’re kidding me right now.”
“No. I will not have a submissive spending time with another man. Job or not.”
“You just told me you love me, and now we’re over?”
“Yes.”
“I’m my own person.”
“I never said you weren’t. I am simply telling you the stipulations of being my submissive. If you’re not ready for that, then there’s nothing more to say.”
I scramble to my feet and grab my clothes. “Fuck you, Ryder! Thanks for making me feel like trash… again!”
“Trash? I fucking want you, Aspen. More than I’ve ever wanted a woman. My previous relationships pale in comparison to you. I think about you every minute of every fucking day. I want to fuck you so bad it’s causing me physical pain right now.”
I drop my clothes. “Then fuck me.”
“I can’t!”
“Why not? I’m standing here, naked, asking you to show me your world, and you’re saying no.”
He starts pacing the room, running his hands through his thick, dirty blond hair, making it look freshly fucked, and it’s all I can do not to fall to my knees for him and beg.
“Because if I fuck you, you’re mine. You can think I’m a Neanderthal, but this is who I am.
Don’t you understand?” he says, barreling toward me, gripping my shoulders.
“You fucking own me! Asking you not to be an escort isn’t because I think badly of you…
it’s because I cannot and will not have any man think he can buy you.
You’re a fucking goddess, Aspen. If you let me punish you tonight.
If you let me fuck you. I won’t be able to walk away.
I’ll make you mine no matter the cost. You hold all the power over me, baby girl.
I want you more than my next breath, and I’m giving you the chance to walk away right now.
Not because I think you’re trash, but because I know I’m not a man worthy of your love.
I’m not the good guy. I want to do despicable things to you, and I want you to want it. I fucking love you.”
Without another word, I lower myself to my knees, spreading my legs with my hands behind my head and my eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Fucking hell. You are breathtaking.”
“Punish me as you see fit, Sir.” I can hear him walking away, my heart thundering in my chest as I fight to keep my eyes cast down.
“In this lifestyle, we sign contracts. What you are and aren’t open to. A guarantee that I will never push you beyond your limits. That you will trust me to train you to become my submissive. It’s not something to be taken lightly. You have to want this.”
“I want to learn, Sir.”
“We will sit down tomorrow and go over every detail. Tonight, I will give you a taste. Do you want to find out just how delicious it feels when I punish you with the crop?”
“Yes.”
I can feel him moving closer, my body vibrating with need. Without warning, I feel the sharp snap of the crop against my pussy, and I can’t contain the moan that escapes me.
“I think you meant, ‘Yes, Sir.’ That’s another lash added to your punishment.” A thrill courses through me, outweighing the sliver of fear in the pit of my stomach.
“Sorry, Sir.”
“Stand up.” I jump to my feet, my unease at being naked before him fading away as I see his cock straining against his unbuttoned pants.
Without another word, he offers his hand, leading me over to the bed. My mind is racing, taking in everything around me. It looks similar to Mistress’s room. There’s a wooden cross on the far wall and a bed big enough for four on the other.
“Lie on the bed, legs and arms wide.” God, his voice even sounds different in here.
Dark, rasping, menacing. It tantalizes my senses as I crawl onto the bed and position myself as he requests.
I’m so aroused right now I can hardly stand it.
He knows what he’s doing by having me spread my legs.
I’m unable to quell the growing ache. I could come from one brush of his hand.
“I’m going to tie your arms and legs. I need your consent.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.” The way he growls makes me desperate to please him and hear him say it again.
He pulls cuffs from each corner of the bed before caressing each leg as he restrains me. When I can no longer move my legs, he moves up to my arms, repeating the process as the scent of his cologne hangs in the air.
When I can no longer move an inch, Ryder moves to the bottom of the bed, devouring me with his eyes, the leather crop in his hand.
“Oh, you are soaked, baby girl. Look at you, spread wide for me, the evidence of your arousal dripping from your cunt, and I haven’t even started. Have you got a greedy little cunt?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You’re learning. Tonight is just a taste of what I can give you, Aspen.
You will receive two strikes for neglecting to tell me you were an escort.
You will receive another two for going to Mistress Genevieve’s private room.
And lastly, you will receive a strike for failing to call me Sir. Do you give your consent?”
“Yes, Sir.” I close my eyes, unable to look at him as I ask for his punishment.