Chapter 22
RYDER
“Do you need a break? I know this is a lot to take in.” Aspen and I have been going through my standard submissive contract for close to an hour, but she’s taking it in stride, asking questions and setting her own boundaries.
She’s going to be a tough little sub, and I can’t wait.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to sign on the dotted line, but then I’ve never been in love with a submissive when I signed contracts in the past.
“Why do you need this? How did you come into this lifestyle?” She looks at me with those big blue eyes and barrels through all of my defenses.
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not deeply haunted by trauma if that’s what you mean.”
“I’m just curious.”
“I love it. Can’t it be as simple as that?”
“You tell me. I’m so new to all of it, I just want to understand what we’re doing here. Am I asking too many questions? Do most subs simply sign and get on with it?” She’s bashful as she tucks a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.
“There’s no such thing as too many questions. I want you to feel free to ask whatever you want, whenever you want. I need you to be comfortable every step of the way. Like I said, I know this is a lot to take in.”
“I want to get it right.”
“And you will. There is no comparison here. When you ask about ‘most subs,’ that doesn’t matter. Every submissive is different with their own needs and wants.”
“But all of your previous subs knew what they were doing. I’m scared I’ll be a letdown.”
“You could never be a letdown. I want it all with you, Aspen.” I drape my arm over her shoulder, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her lips.
“What is a twenty-four-seven submissive?”
“Have you been on Google?” I tease.
“Maybe. I wanted to come prepared.”
“Well then, why don’t you tell me?”
“Someone who answers to her Dominant all the time. Not just in the bedroom.”
“And how do you feel about it?” I don’t want to influence her at such a delicate time. Being a full-time sub is a huge commitment.
“I…”
“You can be honest with me, Aspen. In fact, it’s imperative.”
“I don’t like the idea of having to submit in every aspect of my life. I want to do it in your playroom, but in day-to-day life, I need my independence.” I understand her trepidation, and I’m so fucking proud of her for speaking up.
“Okay. Being a twenty-four-seven is off the table.”
“Is it something you need? I don’t want you to be unfulfilled.”
“Stop worrying about me. Today is all about finding what you need, what you want. I am fine with containing our arrangement to here at Venom. What I would like you to consider is being my submissive in all areas of Venom. Both in and out of the playroom. Let me guide you through this process.”
“You mean in front of people? Like Nadia that night in the bar?”
“Fuck everyone else. I want this because whether we’re in the bar, on the voyeur, or training floor, I want you to be mine, in every way. When we step outside the walls of Venom, then, as per our contract, you do not need to adhere to the rules.”
“What about Rooftop? It’s within the walls.”
“Your place of work does not apply. I would never jeopardize that. This contract applies to all forms of play.”
“So, I would call you Ryder…”
“Any time outside of Venom. When we play…” I say, grazing the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip, “… you will call me Sir.”
“Why is that such a turn-on?” Her cheeks flush as her eyes find mine.
“For you? Or for me?”
“Both. If you’d put this contract in front of me four months ago, I would’ve declined immediately. A guy telling me to call him ‘Sir’ would be a deal breaker. And yet, here I am, with you, and I want to so bad it’s a physical ache in my chest. Like if I couldn’t submit to you, I’d die.”
Her words are simultaneously thrilling and concerning. “Maybe we should slow this down. I told you, Aspen, you can’t make this decision for me. It has to be for you. If I’m removed from the equation, would you still want to pursue becoming a submissive?”
“No. I’m not going to lie to you. If it were anyone else, I’d say no. I would walk away. But can I speak openly?”
“Of course.” My heart sinks.
“It’s na?ve of you to believe otherwise. What we have matters to me because it’s you. I want to try this lifestyle because I want to give us a chance.”
“And if I said I could walk away from this for you? If I could be vanilla.”
“You can’t.”
“I know.” I slump back against my chair. “But I need to be with you, Aspen. The alternative is not an option.”
“Then I suggest you make peace with the fact that I’m willing to learn, and I want to submit to you under the right circumstances.”
“And when you decide you can’t do this? You’ll resent me.”
“Or I’ll spend the rest of my life at your side, loving every facet of you.” My pulse quickens.
“Do you really believe you can grow to love me, baby girl?” I hold my breath, afraid to hope. She already knows how I feel about her.
“No.” It’s a gut punch.
“I…”
“I’ve been trying to deny it since the first day your lips found mine, but it was as predictable as the tides. I want you in any way you’ll have me. I’m madly in love with you.”
Before she can say another word, I round the table, clasp her face in my hands, and search her eyes for permission that she freely gives.
It’s not a frenzied kiss, charged with sexual tension.
No, this one is deep, soul-destroying, and world-altering.
I know in this moment that my life will never be the same again, and greedily, I’m going to let Aspen step into my world because the prospect of letting her walk out of my life isn’t an option.
Does it make me the most selfish bastard on the planet? Yes. Can I give her up? No.
Our tongues caress, the soft scent of her perfume intoxicating my senses. “Say it again,” I whisper.
“I love you.”
“God, I’ll never tire of hearing that.”
“I love you, Sir.” My cock is rock-hard when she addresses me. “Where do I sign?”
I pull back, my hands still cupping her face, forcing her to meet my gaze. “Are you sure? This is the last time I’m going to ask because I’m a selfish man, and I want you to be mine. If you can’t do it, please, walk away now. I’m yours, Aspen.”
“I’m sure. I am yours. Give me the pen.” I do as I’m told, my hand trembling as I reach for it. Taking a steadying breath, I grab the contract and set it down in front of her. Without hesitation, she signs her name before holding it out for me to do the same.
I’ve never been nervous to sign a contract, but this today, there’s a gravity to it that I can’t deny. It’s the first time I’ve wanted forever, and this is step one.
When I finish signing and dating my copy, I pull Aspen into my arms. “You’re mine now, baby girl.”
“Just the way I want it, Sir. Now, take me to your playroom and show me I’m yours.”
“You’re a bossy little sub.”
“And you love it.” I hoist her up over my shoulder in a fireman’s lift before heading for the stairs.
“Fucking right, I do.”
“I want you shaved before you come into my playroom tonight.”
“I already shaved.” As much as Aspen makes a good submissive in the playroom, she’s feisty outside of it, just the way I like her.
“All of it.”
“So you don’t like doing it right now?”
I stride over to her, dropping to my knees and burying my head at the apex of her thighs. “It’s not for me, baby girl.”
“What? You want to give me to someone else?”
“Would you like that? If I had another man feast on you while I fuck you from behind.”
“I…”
“When I said it’s not for me, baby girl, I meant you. Have you ever fully shaved and let a man go down on you?”
“No.”
“Trust me, it’ll feel good, especially when I have you wear jewelry.”
“There’s jewelry?” I reach into my pocket, pulling out the clitoral jewelry I bought for her yesterday. I hold it up and she scrunches her nose, looking so damn cute.
“So, this bit goes over my clit?” She’s studying it as if it were evidence of alien life on Earth.
“Yeah. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it. In fact, you should wear it while we’re working tonight.”
“What?” I lay back in my bed, the covers pooled at my waist. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? No one but us will know.”
“What if I come while I’m cooking?”
“It’s good, but it’s not that good. The subtle movement will have you primed and ready when we start to play. It’s designed to heighten anticipation and arousal.”
She takes it from my hand, twisting the G-string and running her fingers over the small marble that moves within the silver setting. I watch, captivated by her as she discovers everything for the first time. Aspen can be shy, but she gets bolder every day as we explore her submission.
“Okay. But if I come in front of everyone in the kitchen, it’ll be your fault,” she says with a devious little grin.
“You say it like it’s a bad thing. I like to watch.”
“And you wouldn’t be jealous?”
“Why would I be? I know whose bed you’re going to be in at the end of the night. If anything, I’d be proud of how fucking sexy you are, knowing that every man in the room would crawl over crushed glass to watch you fall apart at the seams.”
“Will you take me up to the voyeur hall soon?”
“Would you like that?”
“I want to see what happens, what you like to see.”
“And if I asked you to let me touch you while we partake of the view?”
“That sounds hot.”
“I will take you after Rooftop closes tonight.”
She’s as giddy as a schoolgirl as she straddles me. “We have thirty minutes before we need to go to the market.”
I flip her over, nestling between her thighs. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you to fuck me. Hard.” I take her in one harsh thrust, her pussy tight around my cock.
“Your wish is my command, baby girl.”
We tangle in the sheets longer than we should, but I can’t get enough of this woman. I don’t think I ever will.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I stand at the bottom of the staircase that leads up to the voyeur floor, Aspen in my arms as I search her gaze for even a hint of trepidation. All I see is her radiant smile.