Chapter 24 #2
“Please understand, Ry. I had a whole life before you came barreling into it, bringing Venom with you. I know you have certain expectations for a submissive, but we agreed that this wasn’t going to be a twenty-four-seven thing.
I have to have my autonomy, and financial control is a hard limit for me.
” Look at her, using my own language against me.
“And some guy buying you is a hard limit for me.”
“Then I don’t know where we go from here. I’ve been working toward my goal since the day I turned sixteen and got my first job. I won’t give that up for you, Ry. Don’t ask that of me.”
“That’s not what I’m fucking asking. How would you feel if I were training another sub?”
“It’s not the same. I’m not going to fuck anyone.”
“Neither would I. I would simply be teaching the rules of submission. I wouldn’t be fucking her.”
“No! You’re being totally unreasonable.”
“You haven’t answered my question. Would it bother you?”
“I… it’s different. We have a contract for me to be your sub. That’s an exclusive relationship.” I close the distance between us in nothing but my boxer shorts. “Would you be jealous, baby girl?” If she wants to play, then I’ll use every weapon in my arsenal.
“I’m not asking to have a relationship with someone else.”
“Neither am I. I just figure, if you’re out for the evening looking drop-dead gorgeous, with a guy who doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, I may as well help out at Venom. They are always up for having help on the training floor.”
I step into her space, my fingers caressing up her spine under the oversized tee of mine that she likes to sleep in.
“I’m not going to fuck anyone but you, but by your logic, I can give a shibari demonstration. You wouldn’t mind me doing a breath-play class with Viv, would you? She’s not even a sub, and you know our relationship is purely platonic.”
Her breath catches as I lean in, ghosting a kiss behind her ear.
“It’s not the same.”
“Bullshit. How did you feel when you saw me with Viv that night? With my hand wrapped around her neck the way I do to you.” I slide my hand up to her neck, applying the slightest pressure.
“I…” I’m rock hard as she lets her eyes flit closed, “… hated it.”
“Were you wet for me, wishing it was you?”
“Yes.” I tighten my grip.
“Yes, who?”
“Yes, Sir.” My lips find hers in a lazy caress. I could fuck her seven ways until Sunday right now, but I want her frustrated.
“Good girl.” I slip my other hand under the waistband of her panties. “Oh, you’re already wet for me. Do you want me to alleviate that growing need you feel?”
“Yes, Sir,” she whispers as my grip on her tightens.
“Are you going to let another man buy what’s mine?”
“I…” I lean in, licking the seam of her lips.
“Are you going to let another man dress you in gowns and jewels?”
“Sir…” My cock is physically painful right now, desperate for the release that only Aspen can give.
“Do you want me to share you, baby girl? Because I can. Within the walls of Venom, I can have you trussed up for everyone to see.” I flick her tongue with mine.
“Do you want everyone to see you naked and at my mercy?” She doesn’t answer.
My girl has a little exhibitionist in her.
“You’d like that. Maybe I should let others join.
One to fuck your mouth and one to fuck your ass while I take your pussy. ”
“I don’t…” She runs her hand over my cock, caressing the tip as my boxers fail to contain my erection.
“Did I say you could touch me?”
“No. Ry, please. I need you.”
“Then tell me what you want. Do you want me to share you the way you’re asking me to share you?”
“I’m not going to sleep with a client. Please, understand where I’m coming from.”
I release her, having to put some distance between us.
“I have to get to work. I have shit to get done today.” I leave her wet and wanton.
“Are you kidding me right now? You’re just going to walk away.”
I shrug into my pants and pull a shirt off the hanger. “I don’t want to fight.”
“Then let’s talk about it.”
“No.”
“No? Just like that?”
“Yes. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret because I’m so fucking angry right now.”
“You’re angry with me for wanting a job? I’m not cheating on you, Ry.”
“Tell that to my heart! Because every time you bring this up, I feel like it’s being ripped from my chest. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that I’m not okay with you being an escort.
It hurts. A physical pain in my chest at the thought of another man staking his claim on you. Sex or not.”
“Then why am I your submissive?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that’s the problem. Lock the door on your way out.”
I grab my shoes, wallet, keys, and head for the door.
“So that’s it? Are you really just going to leave in the middle of a discussion?”
I turn on my heel, pinning her with my steely gaze. “It’s not a discussion. It’s not a democracy. You decide how shit is going to be, and I’m done pussyfooting around. I’m a goddamn Dominant.”
“I’m not your twenty-four-seven.”
“Don’t I fucking know it! You remind me every chance you get. You can’t fucking cuckhold me, Aspen. If you’re not willing to consider how this makes me feel, then there’s nothing to talk about because I won’t fucking share you with some sleaze who buys you.”
“Fine! I’ll be at my own apartment when you get your head out of your ass.”
“Great.” I storm out, hating myself for being unable to have a calm conversation about this, but at the end of the day, no amount of acquiescing to her is going to change it.
I love Aspen, but I won’t change who I am to be with her.
I tried that, and it almost broke me. It’s a fucking double standard.
She became a submissive for me, but I’m never going to be okay with her choice to remain an escort, even if it’s just one last time.
I don’t even know where the hell I’m going.
I don’t need to be at the restaurant until later, and Aspen and I are working together tonight.
It’s going to be a clusterfuck. We’ve only been living together for two months, and already we’re storming out on each other.
This is not how I conduct myself as a Dominant.
I need the parameters to be clear and crisp, and the longer we’re together, the murkier they become.
I wander the streets of Manhattan for a few hours, deciding how we move forward from here. I won’t have her taking money from other men. She’s mine. By the time I head to Venom, I know what needs to be done, and I don’t think Aspen is going to take it well.
She’s already in her chef’s whites by the time I arrive, her head down with a pissed-off vibe radiating off her in waves.
“Is this going to be an issue tonight, or can you leave our personal life at home?”
“You’ve got some nerve. I asked you to separate the two earlier today, and you made it apparent that there was no way it was possible. You can’t just pick and choose what suits you.”
“It’s different, and you fucking know it.”
“Then no. I can’t separate them either. I’m going to stay with Jude for a few days.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. We don’t want the same things.”
“Yes, we do, but you’re not letting me be the man I was born to be. I’m a Dominant, Aspen. It isn’t easy for me to be questioned at every turn. I need a submissive who wants to build a life with me.”
“I do want to build a life with you, Ryder! I think I’ve made some big concessions for you, but you can’t meet me halfway. You say you love me, but you want me to change to fit in whatever space you grant me. That’s not love, Ry.”
“I love you! I love you so much it’s a physical pain in my chest.”
“It’s not supposed to hurt.” Her words slam into me like a brick wall.
“I think it’s best if we both take a few days to calm down.” She’s actually leaving.
“When you figure out what you want, maybe I’ll still be here.”
“Maybe?”
“I tried to give you normal. I’ve tried to ease you into the lifestyle. I asked you to move in with me. How many other ways do I need to show you what you mean to me?”
“Allowing me to make my own decisions. I’ve earned that.”
“Earned what? Your decision to be a fucking escort. I’m glad other men paying you to be with them is the hill you want to die on.
Fuck me, Aspen. I don’t know why you don’t see the problem here.
You go and take whatever time you need. I’ll find a sub who actually wants to be with me, as I am, a Dominant man. ”
“Wow, you’re going straight to replacing me. You’re right. How could I not see how much you love me? You’re fucking full of shit, Ryder Stevens. You don’t want a partner. You want a pet to sit and obey.”
“Watch your mouth, Aspen.”
“What, because you don’t want me to swear? Fuck you, fuck this fucking bullshit, you bastard. I love you for you. If you can’t do the same…”
“Then what?” I close her in until her back hits the wall. “Tell me you don’t feel this.” I brush my lips against hers in a ghost of a kiss before moving to the shell of her ear. “Has anyone ever made you feel this, baby girl?”
She swallows hard. “I…”
“You’re scared, Aspen. To rely on me. To give me control. To let me love you the way a submissive should be loved. Tell me to walk away now, and I will.”
“Walk away.” It’s a dagger to my soul, but I do as she asks. I walk away. She can handle the restaurant tonight. I have to get out of here.
“I’m going to switch with Leonard tonight. I’ll be at Dulip if anyone needs me.”
“Ry, wait.”
“I’m giving you what you want, Aspen. I won’t force you to stay with me against your will.
” Without another word, I take my shattered heart and walk away.
The thing that makes our relationship so passionate is the same thing that pulls us apart.
This explosive chemistry that holds us together threatens to destroy us.