39. Ryan Fairview
C al’s house was… not what I expected. For some reason, I imagined he lived in some dark dungeon of a basement filled with X-rated posters, gaming consoles, and improperly stored firearms.
Instead, I found myself standing in a bright, clean townhouse that was tastefully decorated in whites, golds, and neutral beiges. It could have been a model home, except for the obscene amount of gnomes gathered on every surface.
It smelled like someone had an essential oils diffuser running, giving the air a citrusy, fresh scent.
There was soft, dark classical music playing from what I assumed was the living room.
“Is that… Adam Hurst?” I asked, totally enthralled by the haunting notes of a cello drifting from the direction Cal was leading me.
Suddenly, I found myself in a living room/kitchen split. The kitchen had white waterfall marble countertops and modern pendant lighting. The living room had a massive TV over an electric fireplace and two couches facing each other on either side of a crystal coffee table.
Sure enough, the TV was playing a dark academia playlist, and Desolation by Adam Hurst was pumping through the speakers.
A young woman with blond hair who had been curled up on the couch with a gnome-shaped pillow turned down the volume and twisted around to beam at us.
“Good ear! Yeah, I love me some dark and twisty classical music when I’m reading.” The girl beamed at me, though her smile faltered when she took in the state of my face.
Her mouth dropped open, and she immediately turned to glare at Cal.
“CALLUM JAMES WALKER!” she exclaimed, and he chuckled.
“Oh boy. You know I’m in trouble when she whips out the full name.”
“Well, what do you expect! Don’t even try to tell me that this isn’t your handy work!” The blond girl leapt up from the couch, tossing her Kindle next to her squishy gnome pillow.
Instantly, she was in front of me, reaching up to touch my chin and tilt my head from side to side.
She was tiny. Much smaller than either Cal or Cass, though, you could see the resemblance in her face. She had the same dark brown eyes and olive skin, and her hair was just as thick. You could tell she was naturally a deep brunette, though I had to admit the blond suited her.
I remembered what Cal told me about how he and his sisters had spent their lives trapped in cages in the early years of their lives. This must be Naomi, the one they had been worried might die from their mother’s neglect.
Looking at this young, vibrant girl before me, my heart squeezed with the unfairness of it. I couldn’t imagine anyone locking this little ball of sunshine up in a cage.
“Ryan has a funeral service tomorrow, and we were hoping you could help teach us how to properly cover it up.” Cal glanced at me, grinning. “No offense, but whatever you tried to do to cover it up last time just made it look worse.”
I sighed. He was right. The concealer I had smeared on hadn’t matched my skin at all and had just gotten really clumpy. The bruises had shown right through.
Naomi popped a hip and rested her fist on it, giving me a smirk and a critical up and down.
“Well, there’s not much I can do about the swelling. You’ll just have to ice your face and hope for the best. But I can certainly fix the coloring for you.
“I’ll teach you how to do it here, and you can borrow some products and reapply tomorrow… actually, I don’t have a lot going on tomorrow, so if you like, I can pop by and do it again for you.”
My heart fluttered in my chest.
“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
Cal moved forward as if he were going to wrap his arms around me, but I jerked away, frantically glancing at Naomi and back at him.
He immediately stopped and acted like he had just been moving to slide his hands into his pockets instead.
“It’s not an inconvenience, Ryan. Trust me, if it was, she wouldn’t have offered,” he said, smoothly moving past my awkward inability to accept any form of affection from him in front of his sister.
“Ooo, Ryan? I’ve heard so much about you!”
Oh god.
“All good things, I hope.” I winced, but Naomi just smiled at me warmly.
“Of course! Cal was gushing to me about you the other day.”
“He was?” I asked, feeling like my heart was stuck in my throat. I didn’t think anyone had ever gushed about me before.
“Mhmm.” Naomi smiled. “And he’s right, you know. It’s no trouble at all. I’m happy to come by and help you. It’ll give me an excuse to get out of this house and stretch my legs. I’ve been reading entirely too much smut lately,” she announced and turned on her heel, leading the way upstairs.
My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was feeling extremely confused and guilty.
Maybe I shouldn’t have pulled away from Cal like that… We had just discussed in the car that we were… exclusive , I guess. I should be able to let him touch me in front of people?
I glanced at him nervously, expecting him to be upset or hurt, but he just smiled at me and nodded his head in the direction his sister had gone, indicating that I should follow her.
My head was still spinning with too many thoughts as I followed Naomi up the stairs. Cal came up quietly behind me. I tensed, waiting for him to touch me from behind or make a big obnoxious scene, but he didn’t do either. He just followed me silently and let me take in the many family photos that covered the wall on the staircase.
There were tons of shots of Cal and his sisters over the years. There was a picture of a teenage Cal buying an ice cream cone for a tiny Naomi while Cass held a bouquet of balloons. There was Naomi’s high school grad photo next to Cass’s university graduation photo. I frowned when I realized Cal didn’t have any grad photos on the wall. No pictures of him playing sports, though it looked like Naomi had played soccer at one point. Cassandra had some black-and-white photos of her in ballet shoes and a leotard.
Cal was only in photos for things like birthdays and what looked like little family getaways. The rest of this wall seemed to be a shrine to Cass and Naomi’s childhoods.
Hadn’t he gone to school?
Didn’t he have any hobbies he was interested in?
I glanced back at Cal to find him smiling fondly at the photos as we passed.
“I love this one,” he said, pointing to a picture of a much younger Naomi at the beach with water wings on and two missing front teeth. Cass was showing her how to build a sand castle. Cal wasn’t in it. I assumed he was taking the photo.
“Cass was so shit at making sand castles.” Naomi laughed from up ahead of us. “And she freaked out every time she filled a bucket and discovered a crab hole.”
“She’s so dramatic.” Cal grinned as Naomi crested the top of the steps. Cal and I followed her into a bright coastal-themed bathroom, and Naomi gestured for me to sit on the toilet.
“Yeah, but I’m glad she was there. You ended up having to leave early, remember?” Naomi asked as she dug through her makeup bag.
I glanced at Cal, and though he was smiling, I was beginning to understand him well enough to catch the flash of regret in his eyes. It was only there for a split second, then it was gone.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “Duty calls, little gnome. Someone has to fund your dark romance addiction.” He winked, and Naomi laughed, pulling out what looked like a big yellow and orange crayon.
“I know, I know.” She sighed, though she was still smiling. Turning to me, she showed me the orange stick of makeup, and I eyed it appreciatively. She was going to use the orange to cancel the blue and purple in the bruises on my face. It was a technique I used when getting bodies ready for viewings.
“Ahh, smart.” I grinned.
Naomi laughed. “Just you wait, Ry-guy. When I’m done with you, no one’s going to even know you got your ass beat by my lovable but psycho brother, haha.”
She hadn’t been kidding. After gently cleansing and cleaning my face, she applied the color corrector to all the ugly purple and blue bruises. She followed up with what she informed me was concealer, then color-matched some foundation. Finally, she used some sort of powder to finish up.
“Tadaa!” She beamed, holding up a handheld mirror so I could see.
“Wow,” I said out loud, genuinely impressed.
I was still obviously puffy and swollen, but you couldn’t see the bruises themselves at all. I glanced up at Naomi, who was grinning proudly with her hand on her hips.
“This is amazing, Naomi. Thank you,” I said in awe, gingerly touching a hand to my cheek. Her work was flawless. She had been right. There was absolutely no way I would be able to recreate this on my own.
As if she could read my mind, she winked at me. “What time is your service tomorrow?’
“People should begin arriving around one.”
“Great! I can swing by at 10; does that work? That way, I’ll be out of your hair in case you have some things you need to do to prepare.”
I glanced at Cal hesitantly, and he smiled, giving me an encouraging nod.
“That would be great, Naomi. Thank you,” I said softly, and she beamed.
“No worries at all!” She packed up her makeup. Glancing back at Cal and me, her gaze flitted between us. I frowned and looked at Cal, who was leaning against the towel rack, his hands firmly in his pockets. They exchanged looks in a way that Theo and I sometimes did, as if they were speaking a silent secret language that only siblings understood.
Naomi grinned at me. “Well! I have some, uhhh, online shopping to do! It was really nice to meet you, Ryan,” she chirped cheerfully. “See ya tomorrow!”
Then she was gone.
I frowned at her abrupt departure and moved to stand up, but suddenly, Cal was on his knees in front of me. He gently pinched my chin between his fingers and turned my head to the side, closely inspecting Naomi’s work.
His touch sent a spark of excitement through me, and my heart was thudding so hard in my chest that I was sure he could hear it.
“Beautiful,” he breathed, and I didn’t think he was talking about Naomi’s makeup job. Before I could respond, he leaned forward, leaving feather-light kisses on my cheek where the bruises were still tender beneath the makeup.
I swallowed, feeling shaky and nervous at his proximity.
“Umm, she might come back,” I whispered, pulling away slightly, even though no part of me wanted him to stop.
“No, she won’t,” he assured me, leaving a line of feather light kisses down my jawbone to the corner of my mouth.
His lips were so soft, and my entire body buzzed with his touch, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the bathroom door. It was wide open, and I hadn’t had time to wrap my head around what happened earlier. I wasn’t ready for anyone to see us together like this. It was bad enough that Theo had seen him giving me head the other night. At least that I could blame on the alcohol.
Gently, I slid my hand up Cal’s chest and pushed him back, clearing my throat.
“How about a tour?” I asked roughly, trying to subtly put space between us. My stomach was clenched with a confusing mix of arousal and anxiety.
I just needed some space.
Cal pulled back, his eyelids heavy. He gave me a lazy grin and nodded.
“Of course. Anything you want. What do you want to see first?” he asked, and I smirked.
“I want to see where you sleep.”
Cal’s grin widened. “Trying to get me into bed, ginger snap?” he asked coyly, and I chuckled, shaking my head.
“No. I want to learn more about you.” I gestured to the bright coastal bathroom we were currently sitting in. “I’m already surprised by this house. This isn’t anything like what I was expecting your home to look like.”
Cal stood up and slid his hand into mine, pulling me up with him.
“And what kind of place did you see me living in?” he asked me as he tugged me out of the bathroom and down the hall.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Some dark, sketchy basement apartment filled with dead bodies. “
Cal burst out laughing, shooting a grin over his shoulder.
“Come on, I have more taste than your average serial killer. Couldn’t you tell by all my sick rides?” He shoved open a door at the end of the hall to reveal a large, clean bedroom.
The walls were painted a dark charcoal, and the king-size bed was low to the ground. The floating headboard was backlit with red LED lights, and the fluffy duvet was made of crushed black velvet.
I scanned the room, taking in the framed posters of what I assumed were various dubstep DJs playing at shows. Beneath the window on the far wall was a black desk that held three monitors attached to a PC with fiberglass casing and red LED lights that matched the ones framing his bed.
It screamed Cal in such a sophisticated, modern way.
I kind of loved it.
“I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting you to be this neat. For some reason, I expected your room to look like a bomb hit it,” I muttered, wandering farther into his room.
“Yeah, well. I don’t sleep here often. If I did, I’m sure it would be much messier.”
I turned away from a ‘Tomorrowland’ poster and frowned at him. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets, watching me explore his space.
He didn’t sleep here?
A shot of something that felt suspiciously like jealousy exploded through me.
Was he sleeping at someone else’s house?
Did he just hook up with other dudes and stay with them?
“Where do you sleep if not at your house?” I asked, doing my best to keep my tone even.
He shrugged. “At… work. ” He said work like it was a replacement word for something else. “ I have a room there.”
That anxious feeling in my chest was back. I didn’t know what he did for work, but I knew it was illegal and that he was expected to kill people regularly. Outside of the whole gay awakening I was currently going through, this was a huge reason I was so hesitant to admit I might have feelings for this tall, handsome whirlwind of a man.
I couldn’t date a fucking murderer for real… Could I?
Cal’s mouth quirked at the corner as he watched me process what he was telling me.
“You have a million questions. I can literally see them trying to shoot out of your ears.”
“I do.” I nodded, pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek.
“Then ask me. I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” he said, and I sighed.
“That’s just the problem, Cal. I don’t know if I want to know. Won’t knowing about what you do put me in danger?”
It was his turn to sigh. Stepping into the room, he gently shut the door behind him and made his way to my side.
He slid his hand around the back of my neck and rested his forehead against mine. It felt so intimate and right.
In the privacy of this room, I let myself lean into him. Tentatively, I allowed my hand to brush against his hip the way it wanted to.
Curling my fingers into his hoodie, I looked into his warm brown eyes and inhaled his masculine scent.
“You’ve been in danger from the moment I laid eyes on you, Ryan Fairview.” He whispered. I trembled beneath his touch as he delicately traced his thumb over my lips. My mind was screaming at me to pull away, but my body wouldn’t move.
Why did he have this effect on me? Why did my body crave him so damn much?
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I whispered. “I’m afraid you’re going to get bored of me one day and kill me.”
Cal shook his head and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. It was brief and tender and nothing at all like the harsh way he had touched me in the field earlier.
“Things are different now. You’re still in danger, but you’re no longer in danger of me, Ryan. I already told you I would kill anyone who touches you. That includes people who touch you with intent to harm.”
“I don’t want you to kill anyone at all, Callum.” I sighed, finally pulling away. Not because I wanted space between us but because I wanted to be able to look at him better. I needed him to see how serious I was.
Cal gave me an uncharacteristically sad smile and let me go.
“That’s unfortunately not an option, ginger snap.”
I frowned. “Why not? Is it an impulse, like they say on TV shows about serial killers? Do you need to kill people? Do you enjoy it?”
His eyes widened in surprise, and he looked pensive for a moment.
“No one has ever asked me that before.” He chuckled.
“Well, I’m asking now,” I said firmly.
“It’s… complicated,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“I don’t have anything planned for today. I have time.”
“I’m surprised you want to know.”
“Cal.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and flopped down on the edge of his bed. “You’ve forced yourself into my life and have asked me to seriously consider a romantic relationship with you. Even a friendship with someone who makes their living doing what you do would be a difficult pill for me to swallow.”
He was staring at me with a strange look on his face as if he was working really hard to understand my position on this.
“You said we needed to discuss hard boundaries? Normally, homicide would be one of mine. Unless you have a really good reason for why you need to kill people, Callum, I don’t really see how this is going to work.”
Cal grabbed the black and red gaming chair from where it was stationed at his desk and spun it around to face me.
He flung himself into it and gave me one of his usual cavalier smirks.
“Alright. Storytime. I feel like we need popcorn for this.”