Chapter Thirty-Five Here Lies Patty
Patty’s complete level of focus on the upcoming cruise surprised me somewhat, so I thought I’d go and quiz her about it. She tells me to come round after her military fitness class in the park. I didn’t think she even knew the word fitness but the fact that there’s a suggestion of a burly bloke makes me believe that there may be another incentive for this sudden interest in exercise.
‘No, I want to get fit,’ she tells me as she pours us both a glass of mineral water — that’s right, water. ‘I can’t perform every night if I’m not.’
‘You’re taking this very seriously all of a sudden,’ I say.
‘It floats my boat, if you’ll pardon the pun,’ she starts to explain. ‘When Nige died, I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I had a go at everything and I accepted everyone’s invitations. People kept saying “You should do this” or “Come with us — you’ll love it”, so I did but I never found anything that I liked. Do you know what I mean?’
I nod knowing exactly what she means.
‘But it’s not as if I’m getting any younger,’ she continues. ‘The other day, I was perusing the lonely hearts as usual and I ended up reading the obituaries too.’
‘You won’t find much action there,’ I say.
‘And I thought, “What will they say about me?” Here lies Patty ... wife? Not anymore. Mother? Nope. It’d just be Here lies Patty. Not much to show for a life.’
Mine wouldn’t say much more I think to myself.
‘I’d tell everyone about the brilliant fun we had at the airline,’ I say, ‘if I outlive you, of course.’
‘But that’s the problem.’ Patty sighs. ‘I don’t want the stories about me to be forty years old. I want brilliant fun now. It’s taken me four years to accept that I am allowed a life of my own and I’m ready to live it.
‘After all, everyone knows I was positively born to perform.’ She smiles and the Patty I know and love is back in the room.
‘If Frankie is right and we could travel the world on this at least for a year or two, it has to be worth a go, doesn’t it?’ she asks.
‘I’ll miss you,’ I say, ‘but you’re right, you have to try it.’
I fall quiet and she gives me a hug.
‘Oh, you’ll be OK, Miss Travel Expert and Knight Rider Pillion. Do you think you’ll ride him, sorry with him, for a while?’ she asks.
‘Subtle,’ I reply. ‘Nothing’s happened if that’s what you’re asking, but I like him and he’s one of the few uncomplicated things in my life at the moment, so as you say, why not?’
We clink our water glasses but don’t bother drinking. If they’d been filled with wine, we’d have been on a refill by now.
* * *
The complications in my life return with a call from Alan.
‘Have you heard from the estate agent?’ he says. ‘There’s a delay in the sale because they’ve found damp or something in the survey.’
‘We didn’t have damp,’ I tell him.
‘I know that. It’ll be a tactic to reduce the price. Well, I’m not having it, we should tell them they can’t have the house for messing us about like this.’
My imagination runs wild and I wonder if Alan is trying to delay the sale, maybe even prevent it. After all, he needn’t have called me personally about this. Play it cool, I tell myself.
‘Can we sleep on it?’ I ask. ‘Wait to hear from them properly? I could do with the cash right now for the business.’
As soon as those words are out of my mouth I regret them, anticipating some, ‘I told you so, biting off more than you could chew’ type comments. Instead, he’s quite gentle.
‘Cash flow is a killer, isn’t it?’ he says. ‘I was wondering how you were getting on. It’s always tough to start.’
He starts reminiscing about the early days of his business when we used to work out of the dining room but pretend we were in his offices to anyone who called. They were good times.
I feel as if I’ve had a little hug from him and I find myself wondering if I ever got the choice, which would I pick?
Old flame or new flicker?