Chapter Forty Dumped Again
‘Oh, Bo, I’m so sorry. I know you liked him.’
I’d called Ed earlier and thanked him for being honest but told him I needed distance from my ex and it wouldn’t work because of that. He was soft and lovely and said he hoped we’d still be friends. He’s such a nice guy, why on earth did he have to know Amanda?
My next call was to Patty for some kind words and comfort. She comes round immediately, engulfs me and gives me one of her bear hugs.
I feel so stupid, as if the world is watching me make a fool of myself with one man after the other.
‘Were you really going to... do the deed?’ asks Patty.
I sit down and cup my stupid head in my stupid hands and think this question through. I thought he’d be safe, kind and as awkward as me the first time post split-up. I just wanted to show Alan that men still find me attractive, to get back on the bike or whatever the expression. Isn’t that what people who’ve moved on do? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone and I’m going to have to do it sometime — I thought last night would work and it very nearly did.
I don’t say any of this, I just shrug.
‘I suppose so.’
She hugs me tighter and I have to extricate myself before I’m crushed to death.
‘So what’s next?’ she asks.
‘Next,’ I declare unconvincingly, ‘I guess I get back to the original plan with no more distractions: build a successful business and win back self-respect.’
I look at Patty now that I’ve stopped wallowing in my own self-pity and notice she’s wearing a tracksuit. I didn’t realize she knew such things were invented, never mind owning one.
‘What’s all this for?’ I say indicating the outfit.
‘I’ve got a personal trainer coming round. I hope you don’t mind but I told him to meet me here,’ she tells me.
‘Why have you got a trainer?’ I ask. ‘Is the military fitness not working?’
‘I need to turbo charge things because the most amazing thing has happened,’ she says, pulling out a sheet of paper from her bag.
‘Just look who’s been added to the line-up.’ She points out the focus of her excitement, but when I just look puzzled she pushes it closer to my face.
‘Simply Red,’ she declares, ‘don’t you see? The prophecy about red or orange playing an important role in my future, this has to be it. I’m going to win the heart of Mick Hucknall.’
‘Given they’re called Simplee Rouge, I don’t think he’ll be playing,’ I point out.
‘But there must be a lookalike,’ she counters with logic.
‘Anyway, I’m getting into shape. There’s no telling who could be on that ship.’
Neither of us can think of any more eighties redheads so we leave it there. Patty is so sure the prediction will come true on this trip.
‘Come training with me,’ she suggests, ‘get rid of all that frustration.’
It’s not a bad idea so I change and when the trainer arrives, I set off jogging and jabbing like a woman scorned.
Oh, hang on a minute, I am.
Later I pop in to see Caroline and tell her what’s happened. She’s friends with both of us and having had the experience of losing my married friends in the divorce, I don’t want to go through that again with the people I’ve just met.
‘I wondered why Ed was dropping out of the book club. He called this morning.’
I didn’t want him to do that but at least it means that I can still go. I offer to take Dad or Zoe to make up the numbers again.
‘How are you feeling?’ she asks.
‘Deflated, but I’m getting used to that,’ I answer.
‘I know it’ll be little compensation right now but all your other key goals seem to be going really well,’ she tells me.
I’d already reconciled this, but hearing it voiced helps me to start wondering what on earth I’m fretting over. Sure I was in my best knickers at the time, but I’ll laugh about that one day and it could have been worse: I could have still been wearing the Spanx.
Walking home, I’m starting to feel OK but could do with the boost of a little good news, just for me. It happens.
‘Angie,’ Alan shouts down the phone, ‘can’t talk now but just wanted to let you know that the house sale is back on — full price.’
And a little divine intervention to help me on my way would be nice.
Overhead the August sky turns black and pebble-sized raindrops take everyone by surprise. It gets heavier and heavier sending people scurrying to the nearest doorway.
I stand still, laugh out loud and raise my beaming face to the sky.
‘Why thank you.’
It gets better as a loud crash of thunder rumbles overhead and lightning lends its force to the fury. People are running to shelter under doorways and I hear them uttering the words I’ve been longing to hear.
‘I guess the British summer’s over, then.’
Yeesssss.Time to start selling holidays again.