Chapter 38
New Forest
It was relatively warm for a Saturday in early April. White candyfloss clouds skated across a baby-blue sky. Chickens skipped across the drive, fluffing their feathers out, clearly delighted to have made it through the winter once again. A gaggle of teenage Explorers, dressed in borrowed overalls, arrived bright and early, keen to slap paint around. Beth insisted that whitewashing was something that she could do one-handed. She soon realised how exhausting it was and felt grateful when an alert came in on her phone, giving her the perfect excuse to sink into the camping chair on the drive and check her emails. Paddy immediately parked his bottom on her foot as if keen to keep her there.
She double-clicked on a message from the council, all eager anticipation, and then groaned. ‘This is a disaster.’
Lucy hurried over. ‘What is it?’
‘Lord Astley has objected to our application for planning permission.’
‘Blast. Although it was to be expected. He’s always difficult with local businesses. It might get passed anyway, though. He’s only one person.’
‘One person, who’s the largest landowner around, with fat fingers in all the local pies. The other objections probably come from his cronies. I bet there will be more.’ Beth willed the tears that were gathering to go away. ‘What if it’s rejected?’
‘Then we’ll appeal.’
‘How long will that take? And there’s no guarantee an appeal will succeed.’
‘Come on. We’re not defeated yet. Where’s your fighting spirit?’
Beth shook her head, a rising thickness in her throat making it impossible to speak.
Lucy perched on the mounting block and crossed her arms. ‘There’s clearly something else bothering you. Spill.’
‘You sound like Daisy.’
‘Daisy reliably informs me that “spill the tea” means “what’s the gossip?”’
Beth tried to let the wave of jealousy Lucy’s words triggered wash past her. She was glad Lucy and Daisy were getting on – of course she was. Her own relationship with the girl remained as snarly as hell and she was beginning to think it was never going to improve.
Oblivious, Lucy continued, ‘So, come on. What’s going on?’
‘It’s stupid, I know, but I really miss Rick,’ she blurted out. ‘I mean, really miss him. I didn’t realise how much he meant to me until he kissed me.’
‘Woah, woah, woah. Back up. He kissed you? When?’
‘When we were at the tip.’
‘And?’ Lucy stared at her, eyes like satellite dishes.
Beth’s face grew warm. ‘It was nice.’
‘Only nice?’
‘No. Way more than nice. It’s been a long time since…’ She looked down at her hands.
‘Go on.’
‘Since someone held me. You know? Like they cared. It felt so good. And now I miss him. But how can I miss him? He’s no better than Paul.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because he’s gone. Without a word. He just upped and left. You don’t do that to people you care about. It just shows how little I know about him.’
‘Have you Googled him?’
Beth stiffened. ‘Why would I Google him?’
‘Duh, so you know what you’re getting into. I know you’re at least a decade older than me, Beth, but you’re not a dinosaur. People Google other people all the time. For all sorts of reasons. And most definitely if they fancy them.’
‘Well, they shouldn’t. It’s rude.’
Lucy’s lips set in a grim line. ‘Do you really miss him that much?’
Beth’s gaze slid across to the barn, then she dragged it back and gave herself a stern (internal) talking to. ‘Yes.’
‘Then you should know it’s probably my fault he left.’
‘How come?’
‘I told him that you didn’t need his complicated situation making your life more difficult than it already is.’
Beth felt anger spark deep inside. ‘That wasn’t your call to make.’
‘It is a bit actually, but I swear I was thinking of you. Not me.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘You’re trying so hard to get this place going, building a business, and if he’s not careful, it could all get tarnished by association.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘All the publicity, the negative social media.’
‘Don’t be silly. Social media is kids’ stuff.’
‘Grow up, Beth. It’s life stuff. Whether you chose to engage with it or not, it’s out there and it influences things. See for yourself.’ Lucy tapped on her phone and held it out. ‘Here. This is what’s on X at the moment.’
Beth took the handset and read, then scrolled and read some more. ‘Oh my… Jack said it was bad, but… this is horrible. Why do people say stuff like this?’
‘That is only a fraction of what’s out there,’ warned Lucy. ‘Rick is a hot potato right now. From a business perspective, it could be very damaging to be associated with him.’
‘That’s a terrible thing to say.’
‘It’s a realistic thing to say.’
‘We should be helping him, not turning our backs.’
‘I’m not saying I believe what’s being said,’ Lucy said. ‘And I wasn’t trying to drive him away. I just wanted him to be careful not to drag you into it.’
Beth shook her head. ‘He deserves so much more than that. No wonder he went back to London.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. But maybe it’s for the best. He’s got to face it all some time.’
Beth glared at Lucy. ‘When I told you about the big, shitty thing I was dealing with, you told me to let people help me and things would get better.’
‘I know I did, but—’
‘And you were right. Okay, my problems are still here, but things are better. Noisy, crazy and daft, but better.’ Beth sniffed. ‘I don’t feel lonely anymore. And even though things aren’t fixed yet, there’s this light at the end of the tunnel – a dim one, but it’s there.’
‘I’m glad.’
‘Rick is trying to handle something awful, too. And he’s alone and he shouldn’t be. He’s got us. Or maybe not you, but he’s got me. Only he doesn’t know he’s got me, because you told him to sod off. Oh, Lucy, what am I going to do?’
A sudden high-pitched squeal and flurry of footsteps came from inside the stable. Beth wiped tears from her eyes in time to see a teen dash onto the drive, chased by another brandishing a loaded paintbrush.
Lucy cursed under her breath and got to her feet. ‘Look, I’d better sort this lot out, but, listen, tell me what I can do to fix this thing with Rick and I’ll do it.’
‘Take me to London.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Deadly.’ There was another squeal and more teenagers running with paint. ‘Not this instant, but as soon as you can. I’d go myself if I was fit to drive, but I’m not. And there’s no way Rose will agree to me taking the train. Please, Lucy. I have to see him.