Chapter 5
5
Beth
It was the thing Beth feared the most. That something would happen to Jack while she was at work, and she wouldn’t even know about it until she got home. She’d turn her key in the lock and open the door, thinking that in just a few short seconds they’d be together again, she saying good morning and he groaning at the thought of getting up. And then she’d find him, and her life would come crashing down around her.
Almost as bad – or was it worse? – was knowing that something had already happened and there wasn’t a single thing she could do about it. She couldn’t just drop everything and rush straight to his side, however much she wanted to. She had patients to look after and, like tonight, might even be in the middle of trying to save someone else’s life. The choice of who might live and who might die simply wasn’t hers to make. She was miles away from Jack. It was the price they paid for living. Some days it was thoughts like these which felt as if they were pulling Beth apart.
She forced herself to breathe, to calm her racing heart and still her trembling fingers. Be logical. Jack had texted her, so he was okay. If he could still use his phone, he was conscious, and , she hoped, able to ring emergency services if he needed to. Her fingers jabbed at her phone’s keypad.
Are you okay? she asked first. Followed in quick succession by, What’s happened? and I’m sorry I couldn’t get to my phone, we lost a patient tonight .
There was an agonising wait, but then three little dots appeared which Beth had never been so pleased to see – Jack was typing a reply.
Okay , it read.
Cramp .
Fell out of bed .
Beth swallowed. I’ll leave as soon as I can , she replied.
K . Not going anywhere
The strings which Jack had woven around her heart pulled tighter. God, how she loved this man.
How are you? Are you hurt?
Sore arse. Bit cold. But have pulled cover and pillow off bed so no rush
Beth could see him, lying on the floor, with neither the strength nor the means to alter his position. He would be lying where he’d fallen, limbs bent, twisted…or broken— She pushed the scene from her head. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on such thoughts; she needed to get home. Sending a quick kiss and I’ll see you soon to Jack, Beth threw her phone in her handbag and rushed back to the ward to find Lisa.
To Beth’s way of thinking, staff relations were a two-way street. If you pulled your weight, or in Beth’s case always strived to overdeliver, then it was reasonable to expect your boss to cut you a bit of slack every now and again. It didn’t always follow, though. Beth had worked under countless ward sisters or matrons for whom an employment contract might as well be the actual law, and there had been no room for deviating one iota from its terms and conditions. Thankfully, Lisa was of the same mind as Beth and so a short while later Beth was able to leave the hospital, well before the end of her shift.
St John’s Hospital was one of the very few locally that hadn’t been swallowed up into a brand-new, huge, multimillion-pound redeveloped everything-under-one-roof ‘service provider’. It was an old building, crumbling around the edges, but with its red brick and mullioned windows, still managed to hang onto a degree of charm. Over the years, however, what little space it occupied had been nibbled away, sold off to raise much-needed cash, and so parking was virtually non-existent. A small area had been designated for staff, but it hadn’t a hope of accommodating everyone who worked at the hospital. The cost of it was subsidised, but even if a space came free, Beth couldn’t even consider using it; it was simply beyond their means. Given its age, the hospital was just off the centre of town, though, so was only a fifteen-minute –ten on a good day – walk to a tiny private car park where Beth could leave her car overnight for free. She hurried through the warren of hospital buildings and out into the night.
It wasn’t until she had been walking for several minutes that she realised how anxious she was feeling. She was frantic with worry about Jack, but that wasn’t the only thing troubling her. Her shift started at nine thirty each night and finished at seven each morning, times when the streets had a little life to them. There were people walking dogs or leaving for a night out. There were cars, too, and an atmosphere to the town as it prepared to either wind down for the day or wake up. Now, it was the dead of night, silent and absolutely still. There was no moon, and cutbacks had meant that streetlights were lit for fewer hours, so although not normally blessed with a vivid imagination, the hairs on the back of Beth’s neck were beginning to rise. Dark things happened at night; you only had to read a newspaper or listen to the news to know that. She swallowed and, pulling her raincoat tighter, hurried on.
By the time she reached the town centre a steady drizzle was falling, and although she was relieved to be almost at her destination, the buildings there were more cramped, huddled together, throwing heavy shadows onto already dark streets. Beth picked up her pace even more.
Soon, there was only one more street to go before she reached the car park. It was more of an alleyway really and, as she hurried down it, a lighted window drew her attention. She was walking behind the bakery – she could tell by the incredible smell which wafted from a vent in the wall – and, inside, a woman was dancing. Beth slowed automatically, pausing to watch, curious, but also comforted by the sight of something so ordinary, so joyful, among the dark streets.
The woman was singing, too; Beth could hear her through the glass, and she smiled. It was a song she recognised as one her mum used to sing when Beth was still living at home – a romantic ballad by some Hollywood starlet, Doris Day perhaps. The woman was cradling an enormous bowl in her arms as if it were her partner and, completely oblivious to the outside world, was twirling around the room.
Still smiling, but not wishing to disturb the baker’s reverie, Beth roused herself and, head down against the rain, began to fumble in her bag for her car keys. Why was it that you could never find the flipping things when you were in a hurry? They must have dropped to the bottom amid all the other debris, and Beth pushed her hand deeper, wrestling with her bag while still hurrying as best she could. Just as her fingers touched metal, her foot slipped on cobbles slick with rain and, with no hands free to balance her, Beth pitched forward, crashing to her knees. Pain shot through them and up into her hip.
For a second, she couldn’t work out which way was up. One minute she was standing, and the next she was sprawled on the ground, the contents of her bag rolling around in the wet. Both knees were throbbing, and one hand stung unaccountably as she tried to stand. From nowhere, she felt a hand on her arm.
‘Gently, you’ve taken quite a tumble. Catch your breath a minute.’
Beth startled, looking up into the face of the woman she’d seen dancing.
‘Thank you, I—’ She broke off, sagging back down as her head began to swim.
‘That’s it, just sit a minute, and then we’ll get you in out of the rain. Let me know when you want to try standing.’
The woman’s smile was kind, her face etched with concern. She still had hold of Beth’s arm and Beth could feel her fingers through her coat, holding just tight enough to be reassuring. After a minute, Beth took a deep breath and gestured with her hand.
‘Up you come then,’ said the woman. ‘Here, lean on me.’ The woman was half Beth’s size but had a surprisingly firm stance. Slowly, Beth was able to draw her feet under her and, grimacing with pain, stood shakily.
‘Oh dear…’ The woman was looking at her anxiously. ‘These cobbles are murder in the rain. I’ve nearly gone over myself on countless occasions.’ She pulled back to better see what the damage might be. ‘Where are you hurt?’ Beth lowered a hand vaguely in the direction of her knees. ‘Ouch…I hope those weren’t your best tights. You’ve made quite a mess of them, I’m afraid. Come on, let’s get you inside and I can take a better look. I think you might be bleeding.’
‘No!’ Beth shook her head. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout, but I have to get home. My husband…he’s fallen and…’ Her vision swam with tears.
‘Then all the more reason to get you home in one piece. It won’t take long.’
Beth shook her head again, harder this time, but all that did was set things spinning.
‘You’ve had a nasty shock apart from anything else, and if you’re intending to drive, at least wait until you’re feeling less dizzy. You’ll be no use to your husband if you have an accident on the way home.’
Beth felt herself being pulled in the direction of the bakery and although her heart told her that Jack’s need was far more urgent than her own, her head would quite like her to sit down.
‘Just a minute then. I’m sure I’ll be fine, I’m a nurse.’
The woman regarded her for a moment. ‘And that makes you immune to getting hurt then, does it?’ Swivelling slightly, she made sure that Beth was stable on her feet before quickly crouching to scoop up Beth’s possessions, sweeping them back into her bag. ‘Right, let’s get you sorted out.’
The bakery door was wide open, music still drifting through it, although a different song was playing now. It was blissfully warm inside the kitchen and Beth had no hesitation in sinking onto the chair the woman provided. She set Beth’s bag down on the table beside her and studied her intently.
‘I’ll get the first-aid kit,’ she said, crossing the room to a shelf on the far side. She switched off the music before taking down the universally familiar green box. ‘Shall I let you do the honours? You’ll probably do a much better job than I will. And while you do that, I’ll put the kettle on. Don’t argue.’
Beth, whose mouth had been open to do just that, closed it again and accepted the kit with a wry smile. ‘Thank you.’
Wincing, Beth pulled at her tights where the gauzy material had stuck itself to her knees. The woman was right – she had made a real mess of them. They were wet, muddy, gritty with something, and a trickle of blood had rolled down one of her legs. Seeing that the woman’s back was still turned, Beth quickly fished under her skirt and rolled down her tights, kicking off her shoes so that she could take them off entirely. By the time a steaming cup of tea had been placed in front of her, she’d cleaned and dressed one of her knees and was just tackling the other. They stung like crazy.
‘I don’t know if you take sugar,’ said the woman. ‘But I’ve put you some in anyway. It’s good for shock, isn’t it? Or is that just an old wives’ tale?’
Beth smiled. ‘Whether it is or it isn’t, it’s still my go-to cure-all at work,’ she said. ‘We lost a patient tonight and…’ She stopped, swallowing. ‘I sat with his wife afterwards and the first thing I did was make her a cup of tea.’ The image of Irene’s distraught face swam into her head, and it was all Beth could do to stop tears from spilling down her own cheeks. She bent to her task again in order to thrust them away.
‘That must have been tough,’ said the woman. ‘I don’t know how you nurses do it, coping with stuff like that.’ Even though her head was still bent, Beth could feel the woman’s watchful gaze. ‘Would you like a tissue?’ she added. ‘It sounds like you’ve had quite a night. A good cry would probably do you the world of good.’
Beth looked up in astonishment. She’d held her tears inside herself for so long now she’d almost forgotten how to let them go, and yet a perfect stranger had seen the one thing which Beth was sure would make her feel better.
‘You’re probably right,’ she said, again choosing not to give in. ‘But I can’t do that to you. And I ought to get going. My husband…’
The woman nodded. ‘Why don’t you ring him or message him? Let him know you’ll be on your way in a few minutes. Then at least you won’t feel so anxious driving home. You’ll only rush even more than you’re already going to.’
Beth fished in her handbag. ‘I will, thank you.’ She pulled out her phone, praying that it was undamaged. ‘He’s disabled,’ she added, feeling as if she owed the woman some sort of explanation. ‘And he fell out of bed. Normally he’s okay until I get home…he just sleeps.’
The woman nodded.
‘But he got cramp, and…I guess he must have rolled over too far and couldn’t right himself. His arms and legs don’t work very well.’
Again, the woman nodded. ‘So, there’s just you looking after him?’
Beth could feel herself blushing. ‘We can’t get anyone else…it’s too expensive.’ She started to type a message on her phone. ‘Sorry, you’ve been very kind.’
The woman pushed the mug towards her as if sensing her sudden desperation to go. ‘At least drink that before you leave,’ she said.
Her message sent, Beth quickly dressed her other knee and, with a cursory glance at her palm which was also grazed, picked up the mug and drained half its contents in one go. ‘Thank you,’ she said again. ‘That was lovely, but I’d better be on my way.’
The woman got to her feet and darted to a rack on the far side of the kitchen. ‘Hang on, let me get you these…’ She came forward bearing a paper bag. ‘There’s a couple of pastries in there. Make sure you eat something.’
For the second time, Beth stared at her, completely taken aback by the woman’s kindness. ‘Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Did you make them?’
The woman dipped her head. ‘White chocolate and raspberry croissants. They’re my favourite.’
‘Oh God, Jack will devour these. I’ll have to fight him off.’ And suddenly, just like that, Beth knew that everything was going to be okay. A little chink of light had just appeared in the night. She got up, collecting her handbag. ‘I don’t even know your name,’ she said.
The woman smiled. ‘It’s Frances…Frankie.’