Chapter 8 #2
He smiled. Fitting. The little creatures had enormous ears, agile movements, and long feet they used to spring away from danger that they sensed long before it came.
Mischievous, curious, covetous, prone to causing mayhem when they were of a mind, and possessing a ferocious courage when cornered.
If her magic was elusive, as she’d been told, then she’d chosen the perfect animal.
“There’s a reason you visualized it in that way. It is because it is the truest essence of your magic. If you wish to control it, you must understand its nature and work within its bounds. Learn how it responds to your emotions and feed it accordingly, at least to start.”
“You speak as if the magic is sentient.”
“Because to some extent it is. It is wild. It reminds us to live in the world of flesh and blood. It called to us with a song only we could hear. When we answered that call, we accepted that wildness into our souls and bound ourselves to something which was both foreign to us and yet perfectly matched.”
Just as they had been connected by both Fate and Passion and had been bound inextricably through marriage. She was imprinted on his very marrow.
Aurora frowned, puzzling it over.
“Then…how do I do that? How do I work with it?”
“You begin by finding the similarities between you and that animal and you embrace them. As you do so, you will find that you needn’t hold the image of it so close, because the wild magic becomes more a part of you, like a limb, responding to your will.”
Oh, she didn’t like that, if the look of indignation was anything to go by.
“You’re telling me I need to change as a person in order to harness my magic?”
Ah, so adorable, this pique. In time, she would see she and her magic were of a very similar bent.
“No, I’m telling you that your wild magic called to you because it sensed that you already fit together.
Whether your magic was suppressed, or you rejected it, or what have you, you did not embrace the part of yourself that it called to.
What parts of yourself have you been suppressing most of your life?
What can you learn from it? The animal is your clue. ”
She bit her lower lip, her expression pensive.
He had some inkling, but it would be best for her to discover it on her own. After all, part of learning to harness wild magic was in the journey of self-discovery.
As a boy, he’d been shocked that his magic had taken on the form of a great shadow cat.
At first, he’d been fearful. Great shadow cats were ruthless, terrifying hunters, striking without warning and dragging prey away to dens that were nearly impossible to locate.
Seldom seen and universally feared, they were what nannies used to threaten obedience in unruly charges.
Theron had thought the beast he’d first glimpsed had been a punishment—to tell him he was loathsome and his magic terrifying.
But the wild magic that had called to him had taken that shape to be a lesson—to embrace his power, to be proud and fierce, to be cunning and strong, to be a ruthless protector of those he would call his.
To show him that he’d always possessed those qualities.
No matter that he’d been a second son unworthy of his parents’ affection…
But such things were easier for a child to grow to understand.
Aurora was an adult with a lifetime of emotional struggles to face in order to connect to her wild magic.
She’d spent years thinking she didn’t possess it despite being called—that would cause psychic scars and leave her at odds with her magic.
And as a princess’ companion, Aurora’s freedom had likely been curtailed, her life lived for the sake of another.
Even now, her mission to destroy Drakon required her to sacrifice for the greater good.
Given the animal she’d first seen, her magic probably had no care for noble pursuits. Like any fairy mouse, it wanted comfort, adoration, to explore, and if it failed to obtain them would cause mischief, mayhem, and bite whoever or whatever had denied them.
But his instruction only seemed to cast her deeper into despair, her head in her hands.
“Wild magic is inherently self-interested. It doesn’t exist for others, but for itself,” he said, hoping his hint would help her.
“I have to be…selfish?”
“It would be a good start. How would you describe a fairy mouse? Beyond its physical form.”
“A pain in the ass.”
He bit back a smile. Oh, that they had in common.
“Why?”
“Because they get into supplies to steal food, anything shiny, and then taunt you as they hop around. And the moment you finally corner the little thieves, they bite!” She gestured, frustration plain.
“Closer. You’re describing its behaviour, though, not its qualities.”
She bit her lower lip as she contemplated the puzzle he’d given her to solve.
“Mischievous. Greedy. Intelligent. Mean.”
“And which of those qualities would you say you’ve embraced most of your life?”
She opened her mouth to answer, her eyes sparkling with understanding, then closed her mouth and frowned.
“I don’t like where this is going.”
“Hmm,” he hummed, smiling now. “I suspect intelligence and mischief are well known to you. I’ve seen you embrace your greed and mean streak on occasion, but not often.”
“Greed and viciousness are bad things to embrace.”
“Who told you that?”
“Everyone!” she scoffed, throwing up her hands.
“And why would they do that?”
“Because being greedy and mean will leave you angry and alone.”
Was that what she feared? What she’d been taught would be the consequences?
“Really? Or have you been taught that so you remain under control? So that you deny yourself your voice and your wants and never question the people who that denial benefits? How many times have you swallowed your anger? How many times have you wished to have something and never even spoken it aloud because you thought you didn’t deserve it or shouldn’t have it?
Greed does not solely encompass a desire for shiny baubles, but a desire for less tangible comforts as well, and being vicious ensures people think twice before harming you. ”
She blinked in surprise, her brows pinching with concern. He could almost see her recalling a lifetime of those exact scenarios—and she wasn’t pleased.
“You…you’re telling me to be a spoiled brat,” she grouched.
Still clinging to her old paradigms. But he could see his lesson was sinking in, albeit slowly and with a great deal of resistance. Aurora was nothing if not stubborn.
“Your magic doesn’t care about social niceties. It wants what it wants, and it wants you to embrace those parts of yourself. If you can do that, you’ll be able to more easily access and wield your magic. If you can’t, then you should give up now.”
“I can’t fail! Drakon—”
“Is immaterial. If you don’t want to fail, then let’s begin with your greed. Tell me how you wish to be spoiled. What do you crave?” he asked, leaning forward.
“That’s it? That’s your lesson?” she asked, affronted.
“It is. I’ve taught you the theory. You have much to contemplate, but for now we’re moving onto the practical component.”
“I have grave concerns about your teaching qualifications.”
“Aurora,” he purred, delighting in her involuntary shiver. “Be greedy for me.”
Merciful Triad, this man was a menace to her heart. Just as she’d thought their lesson was going so well, he’d turned the tables on her.
Resist him.
“Then…I want you to heal my thighs. They hurt,” she said, raising her chin.
She could be greedy without benefitting him in the slightest.
“I can ease your hurts, but not with my magic,” he teased.
“You just said—” she began, outraged.
Theron held up his hands in mock surrender and interrupted.
“If you wish to ride comfortably, you must build up a tolerance to the activity. If I heal you, you’ll be just as sore tomorrow. It’s why, though I could have prevented my callouses and treated my sore muscles, I did not. There’s no other way to gain strength than through a little pain.”
She scowled. Of course he had some excuse on hand.
“Is this the part where I can be mean?” she asked, imagining how satisfying it would be to bite him like an angry fairy mouse.
“Do you want to be?” A grin lit up his already unfairly handsome face.
“Why are you smiling?” she asked, wary.
“Am I?”
She blushed. Goddess, she’d forgotten that he seemed to like it when she marked him during their…play. Worse, she’d enjoyed it as much as he. Aurora cleared her throat.
“Forget it. If you won’t heal me, then what are you proposing?”
“A massage.”
That sounded rather nice. Which, coming from him, only made it suspicious.
“Fine. But only a massage.”
His only reply was a smile. Theron gestured for her to get comfortable as he located scented oil.
Aurora hopped on the bed and made herself comfortable against the pillows, sitting up and revealing her legs up to her knees.
If he proved he could behave, she would let him see more.
When he returned to her, he knelt in front of her on the mattress, his golden eyes ensnaring her as he began with her foot.
His calloused fingers were only slightly softened by the oil, making for a sensation that was impossible to ignore.
Too rough to be fully soothing, she was intimately aware of his every movement.
But he proved to be as good at massage as he was at healing.
Aurora found herself relaxing in spite of her wariness.
Then he struck. Theron pressed into a pressure point along her sole, sending a full-body tingling sensation racing upwards. She gasped, eyes wide with shock. How had he done that?
“Was that a good gasp, or a bad one?” he asked, concerned.
He’d stopped, not pressing his advantage. Aurora swallowed down her embarrassment. Theron was doing what she’d asked.
“G-good,” she squeaked, wishing she could hide under a rock. Triad, that was pathetic.
“May I continue?”
She nodded, not trusting her voice.