Chapter 9
Nope. Nope. Nopety-Nope
Holly
Iwatch as Zayne drags up his pants and fastens his belt. In seconds, he’s fully dressed, and I’m…still naked.
I’ve probably traumatized poor Belbel. She’s pretending to eat hay while very obviously judging me.
My eyes narrow. That’s it? Looking at him now, the last ten minutes might not have happened. Until I peer into his face. His eyes are heavy-lidded, sated, his lips swollen.
I feel I should move, but I’m not sure I can. That was…
Yeah, I think it’s safe to say he’s had a lot of practice.
Another shiver runs through me, and I wrap my arms around myself. He picks up my clothing from the various places it landed and hands the bundle to me. I pull it on, not looking at him.
“Are you sorry it happened?” he asks in a quiet voice as I tug on my second boot. I glance at him. He’s frowning.
“No.” I’m sort of sorry it’s not still happening. Because now that it’s over, the whole horrible mess is trying to slink back into my head.
The children. My parents who aren’t really my parents. Monsters who can’t exist.
Ugh.
“Are you?” I ask. “Sorry, I mean.”
“Hell, no.”
“I’m on the pill so you don’t need to worry about…”
“I’m not worried.”
I press my lips together for a second. “I used you.”
He smirks at that. The old Zayne is back. “Yeah. I noticed.” Then his expression goes all serious. “But, princess, I’ve realized something since I’ve been back. I am yours to use. Wherever. Whenever. Whatever you need.”
My eyes sting, and I blink. I don’t know what will happen next, but those words undo me.
“But,” he continues, “don’t think you’ve totally distracted me with that hot little body. We still need to talk.”
Shit. I pout. “You wouldn’t rather we do it again instead?” A tingle runs through me at the thought. I glance down his body, my gaze settling on the bulge in his pants, and my mouth goes dry. “I could…you know…” I lick my lower lip in what I hope is a suggestive manner.
He chuckles. “Nice try. But you would probably kill me. I need at least ten minutes between. Plenty of time for that talk.”
More shit. I might as well get my side in first. “I think I might be having hallucinations,” I say.
He snorts. “Try again, princess.”
I frown. He opens his mouth to say something else I don’t want to hear, and I raise my hand. “Don’t,” I rasp. “Don’t say it. I didn’t see what I saw.”
He reaches between us and takes my hand, squeezing it. “Yes, you did. You saw my beast. Stop fighting it.”
I whirl on him, my voice jagged. “I have to fight it. I don’t know why, but there’s a part of me that won’t give in. The monsters aren’t real.”
He takes my hand and looks down into my eyes as though he can see inside my head. “I think something was done to you when you were a baby, before your mum and dad found you that day.”
“What sort of something?”
He grins as though he knows I’m not going to like what he says next. “A spell.”
“Really? A spell? Have you completely lost it?”
“Princess, you literally saw me turn into a twenty-foot basilisk. If you can swallow that, a spell isn’t such a stretch.”
A basilisk? Is that what it was? I search my memory. “Is that some sort of mix between a serpent and a…?”
“A cockerel,” he says.
I have to press my lips together to stop a hysterical giggle from escaping. That didn’t look like any chicken I’ve ever seen. I force my mind back to the spell thing.
“No.” I shake my head so hard it hurts. “No! That’s insane.”
“It’s the truth.”
I don’t believe it—but if he’s right, I wouldn’t, would I? I mean, if there is a spell that stops me from believing in spells, then I’m never going to believe it… A sort of catch-22. I think my head is going to explode.
I pull my hand free from Zayne and move away. I need to think, and Zayne touching me is not conducive to logical thoughts.
So, Zayne can shift into a monster and fly. Nope.
The children disappeared through a mirror at Silvergate. Nope.
Someone put a spell on me. Nope. Nope. Nopety-fucking-nope.
I try to ignore the voice in my head. But the pressure is building again.
Then I go still as something else occurs to me. Horror floods me, and I turn back to stare at Zayne.
“What is it?” he asks.
“If I believe you, then I’ve been lying to myself my whole life. And not just to myself. That day, when your mum died, I saw something…someone…and I lied because I knew it couldn’t be real.”
He looks away for a moment, then back. But there’s no anger in his eyes. “What did you see, Holly?”
I close my eyes for a moment, and an image flashes in my mind.
“A man. No, not a man, some sort of half-man, half-horse, with great horns, and he just…vanished.” I swallow.
“The Hunter. He couldn’t have been real.
” Except… “Oh, God, I let you down, Zayne—back then. Maybe your dad would never have—” I break off. I can’t say it.
“Killed himself? Maybe not. But I think he would have. He loved my mum so much. He didn’t want to go on without her. And don’t you see—if there is a spell on you, then it’s not your fault.”
“It’s horrible.” At the same time, I almost cave in at the relief flooding me. I’ve carried the guilt for years. What if it’s not my fault?
“Yeah,” he says. “But believe me, I’ve seen worse. I’ve seen some seriously fucked-up things happen through magic.”
“But you might have stayed if I hadn’t lied. I know I let you down.”
“Again. Maybe. But the truth is—I needed to leave this place. I would likely have ended up just like my dad if I’d stayed. So, it turned out for the best.”
Then I think of what he said. “Where have you been, Zayne? Where did you see this magic?”
He doesn’t answer for a minute, and then he shrugs. He looks around. There’s a bale of hay in the corner, and he crosses to it, sits down, and pats the space beside him. “Come and sit down, princess.”
“Am I going to need to?”
“Probably. Let’s just say even without a spell, you might find this a little hard to believe.”
I walk slowly over to him, sink down onto the hay bale, and clasp my hands in my lap. “Go on.”
“So a few months ago, my foster sister, Amber, found out she wasn’t…from here. Turns out she’s from another world called Astrali, and also…” he hesitates. He shrugs again. “There’s no easy way to say this—she’s Lucifer’s daughter.”
“Seriously? As in the devil?” He was right about one thing—it’s definitely hard to believe.
“Yeah. But you don’t have to worry about him.”
“Believe me, the devil is the last thing I’m worried about right now. But why shouldn’t I worry?”
“Amber killed him and destroyed Hell. Anyway, to cut a long story short—you can travel to other worlds through these mirrors that are made by special witches like Amber. Except all the special witches are gone now. It’s still possible to go through the existing mirrors if you know the spell, but there will be no more new ones. ”
I have suspended all disbelief by this point. “So where did your…basilisk come from?”
“He was always there, deep down, but then I was bitten by this really fucking nasty creature, and that made me into a shifter. Anyway, Josh and I have been living in this other world—”
“Astrali?” I ask just to prove I’m paying attention.
“No. Valandria. We’ve been helping Thanouq. He’s the heir to the throne and a griffin shifter, and—”
That’s just one freaking shifter too many.
I hold up my hand and shake my head. “No. No more. Time out.” I close my eyes and envision my brains splattered around the stable as my head spontaneously combusts. “I need to go lie down in a dark room. Right now.” Without waiting for an answer, I push myself to my feet and head to the door.
He calls after me. “There are lots of animals on Valandria, princess. You’d like it.”
And I leave.