Chapter Six #2
She liked feeling his presence. They were physically close enough that sometimes she caught the scent of his body, the combination of faint cologne and some male essence that left her thighs trembling.
She liked that when he talked he used his hands, and occasionally he would reach out and briefly touch her shoulder when he was making a point.
She liked that when they argued about books or politics, he would lean forward as he tried to convince her to see it his way.
Sometimes she disagreed just to be contrary and to tease. She liked everything about him.
She wished that she could see him. Several times she’d almost asked, but something had kept her silent. Respect for him and his wishes, she supposed. Obviously his need for privacy was great. She had no right to violate that.
So she made up fantasies about him, about what he looked like and how it would be if she could see him. It was like having a crush back in high school.
“Cathy?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought.” She felt herself flushing. Thank goodness he couldn’t see that. “What was the question?”
“What were you thinking about?”
She tried to figure which of her wayward thoughts would be the safest to share. “Um, high school.”
“What was that like for you?” he asked.
She thought about all the lies she told on that particular subject and suddenly she was very tired. Did it matter if Stone knew the truth?
“Not fun,” she admitted. “I didn’t have many friends, mostly because I couldn’t do anything with them after school, and that was expected. I didn’t mind going to their house, but I couldn’t invite them to mine and I always had to be home early.”
She paused, waiting for the inevitable questions.
Instead, Stone was silent. After a couple of minutes, she continued.
“My mother drank a lot. I never knew what to expect.” She closed her eyes against the memories, but that didn’t help much.
They were always there, just below the surface.
“Sometimes she would be fine, just like everyone else’s mom, but most of the time she was either drunk or passed out.
I spent a lot of time taking care of her.
I didn’t want to have to explain why she was acting strange or asleep on the sofa, so I avoided situations where I would have to.
In the end, it was easier to just be alone. ”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s not anyone’s fault. It just happened.”
“Your father wasn’t there at all?”
“No. He ran off when I was little. I never knew if it was because my mom got pregnant or her drinking or what. She never volunteered the information, and I was too scared of the answer to ask.” The last sentence came out in a whisper.
Cathy clamped her lips together. She’d said too much. Stone would be shocked or disgusted. She drew her good knee to her chest and wrapped her arms around her leg.
“My growing up was different,” Stone said, his voice conversational.
“I grew up in a beautiful home. There was quite a bit of money, but very little attention. It’s not that they were neglectful of me.
I think it was more that I didn’t cross their minds very often.
As long as I obeyed the rules, and the housekeeper, they pretty much left me alone. ”
He stretched out his arm along the back of the sofa. His fingers were only inches from her shoulder. He didn’t seem to be doing more than sharing about his life—as if that’s what they were doing—exchanging stories. Was it really that simple? Had he just listened and accepted what she’d told him?
“I was popular in high school,” he said, then shrugged. A low laugh filled the room. “Fortunately I didn’t peak then. At least I hope I didn’t. I’ve always felt sorry for people who had their best year when they were seventeen.”
“I’ll bet you had tons of girlfriends,” she teased.
“Not tons, but enough.”
They couldn’t have been more different. She’d never had a boyfriend in her life.
Her entire romantic experience consisted of getting drunk at a party in her senior year and playing a kissing game.
Apparently the experience had been forgettable because all she remembered was spending the next day throwing up and wishing she could die.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” she asked.
“No, there was just Evelyn. She was my best friend from grade school. Eventually we married.”
Cathy’s stomach tightened at the sound of the other woman’s name.
She told herself he trusted her enough to share the details of his life with her.
That was a good thing, right? But it didn’t feel very good.
If only she could see Stone’s face and know what he was thinking. “That must have been nice,” she said.
“It was. She died three years ago. I still miss her.” His tone gave nothing away. Before Cathy could think of how to ask for more information, he changed the subject.
“But enough about that,” he said. “The past is over. Let’s talk about the future. Specifically, tomorrow.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been cooped up in this house for two weeks now. You must want to get out, at least for a few hours.”
Cathy blinked. “I hadn’t really thought about it.
” That much was true. The house was so huge, it was impossible to feel trapped, much less cooped up.
Then something unpleasant occurred to her.
“Do you want me to go?” She cleared her throat.
“After all, it has been two weeks. I’m sorry.
I should have thought of that. You’ve been more than kind and I—”
He leaned forward and pressed his index finger to her mouth. The action silenced her as effectively as a gag.
“Enough,” he told her. “I’m not trying to get rid of you.
I’ve told you before. I like having you around.
But as Ula pointed out to me this morning, you’ve been in the house for two weeks.
If there’s somewhere you’d like to go, or some people you’d like to visit with, I’ll be happy to put the car and a driver at your disposal. ”
The pressure of his fìnger was soft and warm.
She could practically taste his skin. Her heart rate increased, as did her breathing.
He’d meant the touch as a simple way to get her attention, but to her it was intimate and very special.
When he finally dropped his hand to his lap, she had to bite back a whimper of protest. At least it was dark, she told herself as she licked her lips, hoping for some lingering proof he’d really touched her like that.
“You’re not putting me out,” he said. “I want to do this.”
“I appreciate that,” she told him, forcing her mind away from the pleasure of what had just happened and focusing on what he was talking about. The truth was she didn’t have anywhere she wanted to go. “I don’t think—”
He raised his hand. “I insist,” he said, cutting her off again.
He insisted. Great. Now what? “I’m sure I could drive myself,” she started, only to be silenced by a tilt of his head.
She knew what he was going to say. She wasn’t up to driving.
When she’d seen her doctor last week, he’d told her it would be at least ten more days.
Maybe she could go home and check on the house and then out to a movie.
“Thank you,” she said, injecting her voice with an enthusiasm she didn’t feel. “I’d like that.”
“Anything for you.”
She stared into the darkness and wished that were actually true.
* * *
“So what are your plans for today?” Ula asked as she poured more coffee.
“I’m not sure. Stone said I can have the car for the whole day.
I thought I might check on my house.” Which would take all of two hours, including driving time both directions.
The day stretched out endlessly. She didn’t want to get back too early and have him think her life was so incredibly pitiful that she couldn’t fill a few hours away from the house.
Ula took the seat opposite. Cathy had been joining the housekeeper for breakfast every morning for nearly a week. The older woman wasn’t overly friendly, but she was loosening up a little. If nothing else, Cathy was fascinated by her always perfect grooming.
“I have a suggestion,” Ula said. “If you wouldn’t think I was butting in.”
“Butt away,” Cathy told her. “The only thing I’ve come up with is a movie, but I’m not too excited about going alone.”
“Well, I know a salon on the west side. They do great work with hair. I thought you might like to get a cut and style. It would be fun.”
Cathy knew the housekeeper meant well. In her gruff way, Ula had befriended her.
Still, the implied criticism hurt. Cathy knew she wasn’t much to look at.
Her mousy brown hair hung down to the middle of her back.
The best thing she could say about it was the center part was straight and her hair was clean.
She pushed the small serving of fruit around on her plate and tried to figure out how to respond to the housekeeper’s suggestion.
“I’m sorry,” Ula said. “I didn’t mean—” She pressed her lips together.
“It’s just that you’ve done so well on your diet and with your exercises.
You’re a lovely girl but you don’t do anything to accentuate the positive.
I can’t figure out if you don’t think you’re worth it, or you just don’t know what to do. ”
Cathy raised her head and stared at her. “I’m not lovely.”
Ula snorted. “Oh, please. You have perfect skin and big green eyes.”
“They’re not green.” Cathy wished they were. “They’re sort of a muddy moss color.”
“With the right hair and clothes, the green would stand out,” Ula told her. “Your smile lights up the room, you’re smart and funny. Why don’t you give yourself more credit? Sit up straight. Enter the room as if you have the right to be there. Don’t be afraid.”
Her comments made Cathy straighten in her chair, but she wasn’t so sure about the rest of it. Ula’s assessment of her was startling. Did the older woman really think she had potential?