CHAPTER 5
Gabrielle
“Gabrielle, are you okay?”
I hear the deep, male voice ask me that question, but I don’t know how to answer it. My eyes are closed, I’m cold, and I feel dizzy. One thing is certain – I know the voice doesn’t belong to Dilvan, because he doesn’t care how I am. In fact, he’s the reason I’m down here.
“Gabrielle, you’re bleeding. You need a doctor. Can you tell me what happened?”
When I open my eyes, I realize I’m where Dilvan left me last night – on the bathroom floor, naked and apparently bleeding.
I never made it to bed. I didn’t have the strength to get up, and somehow I feel like that’s my fault.
Like I gave up. My father didn’t teach me to give up.
He taught me to make a way out of nothing.
But this…I don’t see how that’s possible with Dilvan.
I look at my surroundings and remember what happened in here. I was taking a shower when Dilvan came in and assaulted me. I remember being choked and pushed. At some point, I must’ve passed out.
“Gabrielle, can you hear me?”
I blink quickly, then open my eyes. They land on a perfectly carved face and brown eyes that show worry and concern.
It’s Tyson, Dilvan’s cousin. I don’t even know what he’s doing upstairs because he’s staying in the guest bedroom downstairs.
However, he’s at my side, on his knees, his warm hand on my cold shoulder.
I don’t even scramble to cover my nakedness.
I’m numb. I’m beyond shame at this point.
“Gabrielle, can you hear me?”
Confused, I look at him. “Yes, I can hear you.”
“You need a doctor.”
“No. No, I don’t need a doctor. I’m fine,” I say, trying to smile, but my face won’t move that way anymore.
“You’re not fine. You’re bleeding.”
Bleeding?
I look down at the floor where I’m sitting and I see dark red, dried-up blood all around me. I didn’t cut myself. I have no abrasions on my skin. Where is the blood coming from? Then it hits me. It’s happening again. I’m having another miscarriage.
The first one happened three months ago.
I was lying in bed and had a sensation like an urge to pee.
But when I got out of bed, blood ran down my legs.
In the middle of the night, I snuck off to the hospital where the emergency room physician told me I was having a miscarriage, which I thought was impossible because you have to be pregnant to have a miscarriage.
I told him I wasn’t pregnant and that he needed to tell me the real reason why I was bleeding.
He only said he was sorry. That these things just happen, and there was nothing he could do about it.
That night in the hospital, I broke down, and wailed so loud, I probably woke up all the patients on my floor.
I was distraught after finding out I had life growing inside me and now, there was nothing.
Even worse, the doctor explained that he had to do a procedure where they’d put me to sleep and remove the remaining tissues from my uterus.
Throughout this process, I was alone. I was in a cold hospital, on a cold bed, beneath cold sheets, alone.
I didn’t want anyone to know. I was ashamed.
The abuse, the stress, and anxiety I suffered at Dilvan’s hands were the reason I’d lost my baby.
It was my fault. I could never forgive myself for that.
Now, it’s happening again.
“Gabrielle, I’ve called an ambulance,” Tyson says. “They should be here any moment now.”
Tyson gets up and walks over to get my robe that’s hanging on a hook on the bathroom door. He wraps it around me. “Hey, can you stand?”
“I don’t know,” I say, tears falling from my eyes at the thought of losing another baby.
And it’s not like I wanted to have Dilvan’s children.
Truth be told, I didn’t want any attachment to him.
But children are innocent – even unborn children – and even if I didn’t like their father, these were my babies, too. Two babies.
Oh, God, please don’t let me lose another one.
Tyson sighs. He’s overwhelmed, I can tell.
He didn’t come here for this. He was only doing Padma a favor.
Now, he’s smack dab in the middle of the drama that’s been going on in this house – things no one knows about, well besides Beatrice.
I have to explain to him what’s happened, but not right now.
Right at this moment, I’m focused on saving my baby.
Tyson says, “Let me call Dilvan and tell him what’s going on.”
“No!” I blurted out. “He’s on a plane, anyway.”
He frowns. “You don’t want me to call your husband?”
“No. Just let the paramedics take me to the hospital.”
“Then, I’ll go with you.”
I shake my head because he’s already seen too much. And he’s not stupid. I have a feeling he knows what’s going on. I don’t want him to get too involved.
“No, you stay here and–and watch the house. Your job was to take care of the house–not me. I’m good. I’m fine. I’m–”
“I can’t have you going to the hospital by yourself.”
I hear the sirens of the ambulance getting closer.
Tyson runs downstairs, as I sit here on the bathroom floor, overwhelmed and confused, asking myself why this is happening to me.
Why am I being punished? All I wanted was to help my family, and somehow, that good deed has turned into nothing but misery for me.
“She’s up here,” I hear Tyson say.
The paramedics round the corner. They immediately start asking me questions about how I got down here, what happened to me, and who did this to me.
I don’t say a word about being pushed or the abuse that I’ve suffered because I don’t want to suffer even more, so I say, “I think I may be having a miscarriage. Please help me. Please save my baby.”
After securing me on a stretcher, they carefully descended the stairs. I see Beatrice standing near the base of the stairs, her hands covering her mouth while she cries.
“I’m okay, Beatrice,” I say faintly to her. “I’m okay.”
“I’m going to follow the ambulance,” Tyson says.
“You don’t have to, Tyson. I’ll be fine.”
“I wasn’t asking for permission, Gabrielle. I’ll see you there.”
I nod with my eyes closed, telling myself that this is a bad dream, but the reality is, the last six months of my life have been one hellacious nightmare that I can’t seem to wake up from.