Chapter Ten
My dear Charles,
I’m so glad you’re having a wonderful time. Netherfield is so close to Longbourne—why, it’s almost like living in one’s mother-in-law’s
lap, a thing that every young man dreams of, I am sure. How perfectly delightful for you.
I wanted to ask, if you do not think it a strange or impertinent question: What is it like to be in love?
Your devoted sister,
Caroline
By the time they had said their goodbyes and got into the carriage home, Caroline was bursting with impatience to give her
opinion on everything and everyone she’d seen. The moment the door clicked shut, she gave voice to all her thoughts. “Are
you not impressed with how well I held my tongue, Georgie? I said nothing of the terrible brown paint in the hallway, nor
did I comment on how mismatched the furniture was in the parlour. And did you see the colour of those couches? Lord, they
were absolutely dreadful.”
Instead of lavishing her with praise, Georgiana sat back, the contented look on her face vanishing in an instant. She regarded Caroline, her expression cool. “Are you really asking me to commend you for not openly insulting the home of a person who invited you to tea?”
“Well, I . . .” When put like that, it did sound rather impolite. Caroline stared out of the window as the small house receded
from view. “You told me that I should not speak my every opinion aloud, an order which I dutifully accepted.” When she glanced
back at Georgiana, she was surprised to see a muscle jumping in Miss Darcy’s jaw. “You needn’t look so upset. I did not actually
say anything untoward, did I?”
“But you thought it.”
A sharp wave of disappointment swept Caroline’s jubilation away. “Are thoughts crimes?” she inquired. “I wasn’t aware that
the law had changed.”
“Obviously not. But they did not remain thoughts, for you just spoke them aloud to me. Do not forget, Caroline, that you are
speaking of a dear friend of mine. Did you imagine that your poor opinion of Miss Merryhill’s house would be well-received?”
In truth, Caroline had thought so; Georgiana did have functioning eyes, after all. “Are you saying that you think her house
beautiful?”
Georgiana stared out of the window, her hands flexing in her lap. “I am saying that it would have behooved you to try to find
something nice to say, regardless of your first impression.”
“Is that the standard of a perfect woman, then? To choose a pretty lie over an ugly truth? I thought you valued honesty more
than that.”
To this, Georgiana made no reply.
“You are being impossible,” Caroline declared, already fed up with the conversation. “And you might consider the possibility
that criticising me for what I did not do, rather than praising me for what I did do, is rather an inefficient way to teach
good behaviour. When we left, I felt rather pleased with myself, but now I . . .” She swallowed. “You are not even applying
your own lesson, if you cannot acknowledge even one good thing I did or said.”
The silence stretched on. Caroline’s skin prickled horribly, her stomach hot and tight with embarrassment and injustice.
“Mrs Darcy,” Georgiana said, her voice quiet but firm, “would never have spoken so.”
“Then she is a perfect fool!” Caroline cried, humiliation giving way to exasperation. “I am sure even your perfect Lizzy could
not see the need to spend time with people like Miss Merryhill and her acquaintances. They are not of our particular circles
and cannot advance us in any way.”
“That does not signify,” Georgiana snapped. “Kindness should not be dependent on what the other person can offer you but should
be extended to all people regardless of class or social standing.”
“According to whom?” she retorted and was surprised to see hurt flash across Miss Darcy’s face.
“It is a truth generally held amongst those people who are considered to be upstanding members of society.”
The implication was that Caroline, who did not share this opinion, could therefore not be counted as an upstanding member
of society. Stung, Caroline folded her arms across her chest and flopped against the hard backrest of the carriage.
“You act as if only the most superior in society are worth noticing,” Georgiana continued, “though they are simply a small group. The rest of the world may not be handsome or wealthy or well-connected but that does not make them any less deserving of respect. Or love. Does not the Bible say we ought to love all creatures great and small?”
Caroline changed tack, sensing that picking a fight with God as well would not be the most sensible decision in the present
moment—one should avoid warring on two fronts at the same time. “Those Grimleys are absolutely unbearable. We shall agree
on that at least. You cannot tell me that spending an hour or two in their company has improved me any as a person. If anything,
it may have made me worse.”
“They may be a trifle tiresome at times,” Georgiana admitted, “but not nearly so much as you are making out. And they are
good people at heart, who evidently adore each other very much. They do not deserve outright contempt.”
“Oh, Georgie, really! I am all astonishment! Did I not expand their happiness by suggesting a portrait? Did I utter a single
unkind word in their presence?”
“You said you wanted to throw yourself out of the window,” Georgiana reminded her. “Or have you forgotten?”
“That was for your ears only,” she complained. “Am I not allowed even a single pithy aside? If so, life will hardly be worth
living.”
“Do you not think it possible that you were simply jealous at the sight of two newlyweds so in love?”
“Jealous?” Caroline had experienced two emotions happening at the same time before, though it was an infrequent occurrence in her life, but they had never been this particular combination of outrage and confusion. “Of the Grimleys? Are you feeling quite well? Why on earth would I be—”
“Only of their wedded bliss.”
“I am no such thing, I assure you. The very sight of them made me feel quite sick. Why on earth would you think that?”
“Because you asked me to help you become a kinder person,” Georgiana pointed out. “And you did specifically say that you intend
to become so in pursuit of a suitable match. A love match, no less. And this all happened mere weeks after Fitzwilliam’s marriage
to—”
“For goodness’ sake!” Caroline snapped, annoyed to discover that Georgiana’s words held a kernel of truth. Seeing the Grimleys
act in such a lovesick manner had made her feel on the verge of regurgitating her luncheon all over her beautiful blue shoes,
and yet, something about the way they’d looked at each other had made her feel slightly bitter. They had found each other—and
frankly, two such fools deserved each other—but when would Caroline find her own match? And what if she never did? “You know
that I wasn’t in love with your brother. I thought I had already made that very clear to you, but if I must do so again, then
I am delighted to clarify further.”
“I am not suggesting that—” Georgiana bit her lip. “I only meant that you might be envious of their felicity.”
Caroline opened her mouth to retort, found she had nothing loaded on the gun of her tongue, and closed it again with an audible
snap of her teeth. “You misunderstand me,” she said, though in fact, Georgiana had understood her very well. “I simply meant
that I could not imagine ever being so awful with my own betrothed. So . . . simpering. It entirely put me off my luncheon.”
“You had five sandwiches,” Georgiana pointed out.
“In a spiritual sense, Georgie. One must eat to keep one’s strength up. You would not wish me to be swooning all over the place from lack
of sustenance, would you?”
“I cannot believe you would ever swoon.” Georgiana still wasn’t smiling, but her shoulders had loosened. “One rather feels
that your body would have to petition your mind for approval for such an act, and that your mind would deny the suit.”
Caroline began to relax. They’d been on the brink of an argument, and now it looked as if they had managed to safely steer
themselves back to firmer footing. She’d never actually argued with Georgiana before, not properly. Miss Darcy was too patient
for that, and far too ready to consider the other party’s side and give it all the same quarter as her own, though in Caroline’s
opinion, Georgiana went too far. Surely one could be kind to all beings without actually being forced to like all of them.
“Mr Acton possesses considerable talent,” she said. “Do you not think me clever for suggesting the idea of a portrait to the
Grimleys?”
“It was an excellent idea,” Georgiana allowed. “Though I would feel more impressed had I not also suspected that you were
entertained by the idea of mocking the Grimleys in a way they could never understand. Or by the notion that Mr Acton now has
to spend hours in their company.”
“Does that matter?”
“Everything matters,” Georgiana muttered, steadying herself with a hand on the seat beside her as the carriage went over a
slight bump in the road.
“It’s not as if you have to be there, too.” Caroline cocked her head. “Do not tell me you have feelings for the man? He is
so below your station, it would be entirely out of the question.”
Miss Darcy rolled her eyes. “I do not harbour romantic feelings for Mr Acton, I assure you. Nor is he interested in me. He is simply a talented artist of low means who has struggled to gain appreciation for his work.” She bit her lip.
“I often think that if he had been born a young lord, that his life so far would have been very different. He has had to work hard, Caroline. Scraping pennies here and there in order to live. Such a life might have turned another into a bitter man, yet Mr Acton is patient and good-natured, with an eye for beauty and an appreciation of all life’s little pleasures.
I think his disposition, with those circumstances in mind, is very commendable indeed. ”
“And he is quite in love with Miss Merryhill. Have you noticed?”