Chapter 15
Trepidation was nothing new to Ducarius.
Years ago, he had left behind the only home he could recall, and although the compound had sucked, it was all he’d known.
Ducarius had arrived at Council Headquarters at Alaric’s side with the rest of the Skeleton Seven, and he’d had little concept of the outside world.
People had stared at him. Everyone feared sentinels then, and especially skeletal ones.
But the other sentinels and Ducarius had persevered.
His reward had been a life rich with family, friends, and a job that fueled him.
All of that awaited Drexley if he wanted those things, but what concerned Ducarius most was his mate’s reluctance to discuss anything related to his future.
Drexley’s face grew pinched, and his eyes filled with pain.
It worried Ducarius. There was no avoiding what was ahead, and the last thing Ducarius wanted was for Drexley to suffer unduly. But ultimately it was up to Drexley how everything would unfold. All Ducarius could do was be a shoulder for him to lean on. A task he was happy to tackle.
They knew little of each other thanks to their short acquaintance, but Ducarius was ready to help Drexley however he needed.
Eager to be with Drexley, Ducarius yanked on his uniform and left his bedroom.
It was odd to wear the clothes he’d borrowed from Drexley.
His uniform was far more comfortable, so he continued to don it whenever he could.
Once his weapons were at his hips, Ducarius rushed to the dining room.
Drexley grinned at him, and Ducarius returned his smile.
As for Adney, the necromancer gave him a grunt of acknowledgement and continued to eat his breakfast. But he would not be Adney if he didn’t complain about the quality of his food or the supposed incompetence of the skeletons he’d temporarily resurrected.
Chander was a firm believer that the soul brought across the veil was ultimately the responsibility of its summoner and that whatever faults existed belonged to the necromancer.
But Ducarius was wise enough to keep that information to himself.
He settled into his chair and quietly thanked the mute skeleton who put a plate in front of him.
Ducarius wasn’t sure why he continued to keep the information about his family to himself.
Adney was sure to doubt the story of him being a Daray, but had enough trust grown between him and Drexley to confess it to the other sentinel in a private moment?
Would the information overwhelm Drexley and add to his woes?
Or maybe Drexley would be reassured that he’d get to speak directly to the Arch Lich?
“How did you sleep, Ducarius?” Drexley asked.
“Well enough; I hope you had a fine rest.”
“My sleep is troubled,” Adney interjected. “I am dying, and I’m more frightened than ever about your future, Drexley. Ducarius is committed to sticking to his barbaric ways and is not a beneficial influence on you.”
“Ducarius is my mate,” Drexley stated firmly, delighting Ducarius.
It was not easy to accept that Drexley’s lone family member disapproved of them, but the only thing that could crush Ducarius would be Drexley’s rejection.
“While he is committed to his weapons and training, that is not my path. I have spent centuries being educated and have become a man to be respected. I will not be swayed and set aside all I have learned. That is not who I am, and Ducarius has not once pressured me to touch a blade. Instead, he has focused on getting to know me as I am.”
“I believe firmly that each person must follow their own path,” Ducarius said, hoping he could somehow reassure Adney that he had no intention of changing Drexley.
If the other sentinel never trained again or continued to shun weapons, that was his choice.
“I accept Drexley for who he is and applaud his individuality. But his path is not mine either. I am part of a brotherhood and am proud of the similarities I share with my fellow weapon-toting sentinels.”
“No two individuals are the same, and Fate must have seen something in us she found compatible,” Drexley added softly with a quiet smile that Ducarius immediately returned.
They were on the same page, and Ducarius loved the budding camaraderie growing between them.
Despite how little Ducarius had paid attention to what others believed was important in a matebond, he believed they were doing well thus far.
“Bah, Fate,” Adney groused. “Trust yourself, Drexley, and my teachings. That is what must guide you no matter what anyone says. Do not be fooled by tales of a benevolent goddess. She has her limits, as her choice of your mate clearly shows.”
“I have no wish to fight with you,” Drexley replied. “You have made your objections to Ducarius known. The last thing I want is a growing chasm between us.”
“Then give up this foolish pursuit of a matebond,” Adney insisted.
An icy chill crept down Ducarius’s spine, and his appetite fled. But Drexley glanced at him, and his lips curved as he shook his head.
“That is not the right path for me,” Drexley stated firmly.
“You taught me to respect Fate. I am using your guidance as I have done since you summoned me. Have no fear that I intend to leave behind my education or the rules of society you have taught me. There may be changes I must make to blend into a modern society, but the core of who I am will remain.”
Adney stood and leaned heavily on his cane as he scowled at Drexley.
“I wish I could trust that you have the fortitude to remain the gentleman I molded you into, but I have not forgotten the barbarian I met the day we first traveled to this realm. I fear that before my death I will see him again in your eyes. Say no more today on the subject; I need my rest.”
Drexley bowed his head as Adney shuffled out.
The sharp pangs of terror had passed, and in their place was a raging tide of fury.
Ducarius was wondering how poor an opinion Adney had of Drexley.
It was Adney who’d manipulated the realm to slowly erase the past, and he’d convinced Drexley that everything that had once defined him as a sentinel was wrong.
It must have taken great effort, but Drexley had adapted to Adney’s ideal concept of a scholar.
He loved Adney and dreaded a world without him.
But Ducarius feared that Adney had no respect or care for Drexley.
Why had he summoned Drexley only to demand he change completely?
What was Adney’s purpose in stripping Drexley of everything that made him a sentinel?
“I am sorry to be a cause of friction between you and Adney,” Ducarius said.
“Do not be,” Drexley answered in a soft voice.
“The fault lies with Adney, and it is not good for him to grow upset. He has so little energy. I wish he could focus on the positive and be happy that Fate ensured I would not be alone after he crosses the veil.” Drexley’s head popped up.
“Oh, that does not sound friendly at all. Rest assured, I am not using you. I would be glad to meet you no matter what point in my life Fate brought you here. You are far more to me than just a companion to replace a dear family member. I fear I am not expressing myself well. What I mean to—”
“Drexley, hush. I know what you mean. I did not worry that you were using me because your greatest fear was being alone.”
“Loneliness does not scare me. Everything else does, but I will survive the future whether you are at my side or not. Oh dear, again, I am not—”
“Must I be direct and tell you to shut up? You have enough to worry about. Do not add miscommunication woes that exist only in your mind. You are correct. You will survive no matter what you face.”
“Is your self-assurance something I could borrow?”
Ducarius smiled. “You have enough of it inside you. Trust yourself.”
“That is not a simple task. My confidence wavers.”
“Perhaps escape into a book when you feel low?”
“What do you do to bolster your spirits?”
“Two things. The first is to talk to you. The second is to train with my daggers. You are welcome to talk to yourself if you think it will help, but you do not have weapons and you have no desire to use any extra blades lying around.”
“I will admit that I have discussed things with myself plenty in the past; sometimes that makes it worse.”
“Ah, well, maybe it is a communication issue. Try listening to yourself more and talking less. It is the best way to get to know someone.”
“Your way of looking at life entertains me.”
“I am happy to be of service.”
The spark of joy that had leapt into Drexley’s gaze as they spoke dimmed, and he scooted his chair back. “I should check on Adney. He needs rest, but we are down to two skeletons, and I want to ensure he has everything before he falls asleep. Will you meet me in the library?”
“Of course. While you are about your duties, give some thought to what book you wish me to read next. I have but a few chapters left of this blasted romance.”
“You are enjoying it. I will find you another love story.”
“Good, I am growing addicted to the damn things. It must have something to do with Fate and her choice to bring me here to meet you.”
“Ducarius?”
“Yes?”
“Have you kissed before?”
Ducarius shook his head. “Sentinels lack sexuality until we meet our mates. I am sure I mentioned this. You surely noticed that you did not get an erection until the day I arrived?”
“Yes, but I was not around anyone except Adney, and I am definitely not attracted to him. There is nothing in the library that explains anything about sentinels, and I have learned not to trust in my memory as it often fails me.”
“Adney’s housekeeper was an elf. You have learned about them, correct? Sentinels are similar except we cannot interpret beauty beyond our other half.”
“Thank you for the example; I hope it will help keep things straight in my mind. I find you extremely beautiful.”
“I accept that as your opinion, but no one can compare to your loveliness.”
“Is it a competition between us?”
“I am afraid so. You will unfortunately learn that sentinels are often accused of being competitive.”
“By whom?”
“Everyone who is not a sentinel.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you do not care about those opinions?”
“Because you are a perceptive man. I do not give a shit what anyone thinks about me or the people I love. I follow the example of the men in my family. You could even say it is a family tradition.”
“A bold one.”
“The word brazen comes to mind.”
“You take pride in it. I can see it on your face.”
“Indeed, I do. You are proud of your education and how hard you have worked to attain all the knowledge in Adney’s library. Perhaps it is an innate part of sentinels to be pleased by our accomplishments.”
Drexley chuckled. “Adney would be horrified for me to find anything in common with another sentinel. I think I prefer to think of myself as something separate. I am caught between my people and his. Lacking magic, I can never be a necromancer, and without weapons or a wish to protect anyone, I will not blend in with the rest of my people either. Your arrival here and what little information I have gleaned about the Council has taught me that I am an oddity.”
“Sentinels find gratification in our sameness, but that makes us stand out in the Council. Some wise members of my extended family created a sanctuary celebrating outcasts. They search for and happily accept people like you who blaze a path of their own. They have taught me that everyone should take pride in who they are. I thought such advice might be useful to you. And if you ever have a question about the Council or the world beyond this realm, I am here for you day or night.”
Ducarius regretted the last sentence the second the words were out of his mouth. Drexley did not want to discuss his future, and his gaze hit the floor.
“All I know about the future is that the more I learn, the less convinced I am of my ease in adjusting to it. Being different will not be an easy road if sanctuaries are designed for people like me. I have no questions. I must face a world without Adney someday. But I am in no hurry for that day to arrive. I need to check on him, please excuse me.”
Slumping in his chair, Ducarius blew out an exasperated breath that fluttered his messy hair.
He needed to apologize to Drexley, and he had to learn to keep his big mouth shut.
If Drexley wanted to pretend he could hide from the future, then that was his prerogative.
Ducarius was terrified of how everything would unfold, but he had faith in Drexley.
Despite how little trust the other sentinel had in himself.