30. The Mist Thief
Chapter 30
I woke wrapped in endless furs. All night the chill from the storm seemed to have seeped into my bones.
A flutter raced through my heart when I looked to the side and found Jonas asleep in a chair, his chin propped onto the claw of his hand, his neck angled in a way that seemed horridly unpleasant.
My body ached, my head still pounded from the time spent in the thick darkness and cold of that burrow, but Elixist tonics had halted any fevers and chills from taking hold. I slipped out of the bed and tried to cover the prince with a fur without waking him.
Jonas snapped his eyes open. “You’re awake.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sat straighter. “How do you feel?”
“I’m fine.”
Jonas reached out and traced the edge of my jaw with his fingertips.
Gods, he was beautiful. The draw to fall deeper into my nightmare prince was worse than before. The man scoured a forest for me, never stopping until he found me, then risked his own neck sliding into an abandoned burrow, set to flood or fall apart if the storm had worsened.
“You should get some better sleep,” I whispered. “I will not be going to the Otherworld or lonesome rides anytime soon, Husband.”
It was an attempt to keep my tone light, but Jonas didn’t grin. Instead, he rose, and gave up his seat to me. I had no time to protest before the prince was on one knee, my hands clasped in his.
“There is something I must say if you are feeling well enough. I know why you left the palace yesterday, and I know how much this will pain you to hear.”
He paused, and I could not breathe.
I steeled myself for his words. It would hurt, but I had already decided before the burrow, Jonas Eriksson was my choice. Be it friendship, lovers, accomplices in some tricky scheme, I wanted this life more than I would ever want Arion.
“You must know that you are wrong, Wife.”
I cocked my head. “Wrong?”
“Horribly.” The prince tightened his hold on my hands. “I know you believe it is impossible, and frankly, I was beginning to think the same, but you’re wrong. I won’t bring it up again after today, and swear to never tell another soul about your folly.”
A smile twitched in the corner of my mouth. “What are you talking about?”
His jaw flexed. In the next breath, Jonas cupped the back of my head and pulled my lips to his.
This kiss was not like the others. It was fierce and gentle, slow and hurried. Jonas kissed me like he wanted to leave the memory of it on my lips until I met the Otherworld.
By the time he broke away, I could hardly draw in a deep enough breath.
“What was that?” I whispered.
“The condition in the alliance is shit, Skadi.” He pressed his brow to mine. “I mean, it’s not if that is truly your choice, but I swear to you—gods—I swear, I am not playing some sort of game here. I do not spend my time with you to trick you into believing something that is not true.” Jonas pressed a kiss to the place behind my ear. “I do not say I want you in a jest.” One of his hands abandoned mine and glided up my thigh. “I do not touch you out of obligation.”
I shuddered beneath his hands.
“I assumed you knew the conditions.” Jonas lifted his head. “Eldirard mentioned it after the signing, but after what Arion did, I did not think it would ever matter. I did not anticipate caring, Skadi, I won’t lie to you. But I knew I would still never treat you so horribly you would wish to return to that bastard.”
I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles on the hand holding mine. “I didn’t know of the condition. When I received Cara’s missive, I didn’t know what to even think.”
“You thought I have been merely trying to keep you at ease this whole time?”
My chin dropped. “You would not be the first to speak sweet words to gain my compliance.”
In the next breath, Jonas pulled me against him, a new sort of fury in his eyes. “And if you would give me a damn name, I would leave a path of their entrails on the ground for doing so. My actions with you are not a ruse, Skadi.”
“Here, we scheme,” I whispered. “I have heard such words more than once in these walls.”
“You are not a scheme.” Jonas pulled back and removed a vial of something murky from his tunic. “I do not know what has happened in the past to leave you convinced I could never care for you, but I will not demand you merely believe my words. I’d like to also show you.”
“What is that?”
“My nightmare.” Jonas swallowed. “My mother shares memories in a variety of ways. I gave her my memory of the fever, and I want you to see it.”
My fingers trembled when I took the vial. Jonas didn’t look away when I tipped the liquid memory to my lips, he didn’t look away when shadows filled my mind like ash.
It was a strange setting. Almost Natthaven, with touches of the Black Palace, and much like a dream would create. My stomach cinched at the screams. Anguished sobs of pain and desperate pleas rattled against the shadows of the nightmare.
To witness it through Jonas’s perspective was odd and unsettling. Panic thrummed in my blood. Fear came so fierce it doubled me over. In the dream shadows flung at me from all sides, trying to fight me off, trying to pull me back.
I cursed and fought until the corridors shifted to an open, dark cavern.
A gasp slid from my throat. In the center of the cavern was me, naked and chained to the ground. Deep, bloody lashes adorned my skin. Endless strikes from familiar hands added new wounds.
Faces came into focus—Arion, Eldirard, Dorsan, even Cian—all struck at me, cursing me, shouting that I was unworthy to live.
“Skadi!” Jonas’s voice was loud and soft all at once. A cry given in his own mind, but witnessing it this way, I could hear it rattle to my soul. He struggled against unseen tethers, pleaded with shadows. “Leave her.”
Over and over the prince shouted for them to stop, offering himself in my place. My pulse raced with his, a feeling of affection, of loyalty, of desire collided with the fear of losing it all until a final lash fell and the dream form of me no longer cried out.
Pain lanced through my belly when the realization that he’d failed to protect me took hold.
Through a rush of wind, the walls faded, and the nightmare began again, a constant cycle of wretched helplessness and fear.
The memory of the nightmare faded halfway through a second round of the vision.
My shoulders slumped and tears heated down my cheeks. Jonas remained on his knees, focused on our clasped hands.
With a gentle brush of my fingertips, I urged the prince to look at me. Torment lived in his eyes, and a need to take it away bloomed in my chest. “Forgive me for running from you before speaking to you.”
Jonas dropped his chin. “Run if you must clear your head, but always return to me. When I learned of the possibility you could return to your former betrothal, I merely decided I would offer you a safe home. I did not anticipate getting close to you. But it all changed the moment you kissed me for the first time.”
I snorted. “No, you were the one who absolutely kissed me at the vows.”
“I believe it was you. I saw those stones glowing, and I’m surprised you did not kiss me before that old bore finished his confusing speech.”
A laugh broke free, wet and tight with emotion. I used the heel of my hand to wipe a stray tear. “You are an arrogant sod. I had no desire to kiss you in that moment.”
“Because your heart was racing and you knew I would destroy you with passion and longing if you did. It’s all right, Wife. You are safe to admit it now.”
“I admit nothing.”
“You should.”
“Why?”
Jonas leaned closer, hovering his mouth over mine. “For I might do things to make your heart race again.”
I kissed him sweetly. “You are unexpected, Jonas Eriksson.”
“Trust me, Skadi Naganeen . . . Eriksson, you are as well.”
“You just gave me your house name.” My thumb tugged on his bottom lip.
“Do you want it?”
A strange heat built in my chest. I had felt wholly accepted by the alver clans after the sparring, but this truth went deeper—they were mine and I was theirs. Always.
I offered a brief, jerky sort of nod, then kissed Jonas in response instead of words. I kissed him, held him, trusted him.
No man who was indifferent about his bride would be so tortured at the notion of losing her.
Fears faded. We would always be an alliance to the outside, but in this moment, I dared hope that we were falling deeper into something more.