Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hollie
I chewed on my nail as I huddled under the awnings of an office building two doors up from Daniels & Co. I was trying to stay dry and the rain was as relentless here as it was back home.
“You think I should go in?” I asked Autumn for the fiftieth time. I was calling her from my Daniels & Co phone that Dexter had had couriered to me so he could message me.
“I can’t believe you would consider not going in.”
“But there’s no such thing as a free lunch,” I said.
“Tell that to Mom and Dad. They seem to take your money left and right without ever worrying.”
“Taking favors can wind up messy.” I had learned that lesson the hard way.
“You only ever took a favor from anyone once. And it wasn’t your fault that your friend’s boyfriend had aspirations to be a loan shark.”
Even now my stomach churned as I remembered borrowing the deposit for our trailer.
My friend offered to lend me the money. I was dumb and naive and didn’t see the catch until I went to repay it and her boyfriend asked for an additional twenty percent.
It took me six months to pay it off because he kept making up reasons why I owed him more.
To this day, the sting of all that interest paid was a reminder of how easy it would be to follow in my parents’ footsteps—careering from one disaster to another.
I had to take control and rely on no one but myself.
“And anyway,” Autumn continued, “this is not a favor. He’s not just handing out money. You’re working for it. You have a job description. And he said he needed more staff.”
“He was lying,” I said. If Dexter had needed more staff, he wouldn’t have waited for me to get fired. There were a million people who would have loved to be interning at Daniels & Co.
“Even if he was, you’re not going to be filing your nails all day. You’re going to work. You’re going to learn. If you don’t take this opportunity, I’ll be furious with you.”
Autumn and I were as close as two sisters could be. We were furious with each other rarely. And when we were, it was usually caused by one of the good-for-nothing guys she was dating. “I’m just trying to protect myself,” I said.
“No, you’re just uncomfortable with good things happening to you—with someone doing something for you—because normally it’s you making sacrifices so other people can be happy.
It’s you making sure people have a roof over their heads and their bills are paid.
You’re just not used to the shoe being on the other foot. ”
I sighed and looked out at the sea of people rushing along the sidewalks, umbrellas askew and shoes squelching. Was I just uncomfortable accepting help? “But we’ve been on a date. We can’t do that again if I’m working for him.”
“Usually, you’re inventing reasons not to go on a second date. Surely you’re relieved to finally have a legitimate reason.”
Darn her, she knew me too well. She’d backed me into a corner—I either had to admit that no second date was a relief and so there was no reason not to take the job, or that I liked this guy. “Well, I didn’t have any reasons not to go on a second date with him. Not until now.”
My sister screeching down the line made me pull the phone away from my ear for a couple of seconds. “Wow. London has all your good luck wrapped into one. You must really like him if you’re saying you’d go on a second date,” she said when she finally calmed down.
I wasn’t sure if it was because he was British or so freaking good looking or the way I felt his goodness in his core, but I did like Dexter. The kissing didn’t hurt either, and the job offer hardly dented those fresh feelings. But I’d have to bury them deep.
“And anyway, who says you can’t date the boss?” Autumn asked.
“It would be a breach of duty or an abuse of power or something.”
“Jesus, you’re only going to be there a few more weeks. Maybe you should abuse your power with him.”
I loved that my sister was so carefree about things but we weren’t the same.
I had always been careful. It was who I was.
Coming to London was a huge risk. Going on a date with Dexter was a bigger one.
I needed to de-risk, focus on what I came to London for in the first place.
Life wasn’t full of second chances, but I was getting mine and I wasn’t going to throw it away, not even for another kiss with the best kisser I’d ever known.
“Nope. There’s no way I’m fooling around with my boss. But I am going to take the internship. I came to London for experience and if it’s a question of accepting a helping hand or . . .” I didn’t dare think about the alternative. “Or not getting that experience, then I’d be a fool to—”
“Well, finally. I’m glad you came around to my way of thinking. You need to jump at life’s opportunities.”
I hoped she took her own advice. “How’s Greg?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s a loser,” she said. “You know it. I know it. But the sex is okay so he’ll do until I graduate.”
“Autumn! I can’t believe you just said—”
“And don’t worry, I’m on the pill and I still make sure he wears a condom. The last thing I need is to get pregnant by him.”
Perhaps it was the distance that allowed Autumn to admit the truth, but thank God she was focused on her future as much as I was.
“I thought you really liked Greg?”
“He’s fine for now. I’ve always defended him because you’ve been so anti-him.” I started to object but she shut me down. “Don’t try to deny it. And I understood that you didn’t want him to hold me back, but I wouldn’t let that happen. Especially not now.”
“Not now? What’s happened? Did something happen with Dad?” I’d warned him not to ask Autumn for money but I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist it. Who else would he ask if I wasn’t there?
“No, nothing’s happened with Dad—he’s asked me for money practically every day since you left, but I expected that.
I mean seeing you follow your dreams and go to London, even though I know that leaving me was tough—it’s inspiring, Hollie.
I knew you were strong and responsible and resilient and all of those good things.
But to see you be so driven, so freaking determined to get out of this shit hole—well, I’m not wasting the opportunities that I have either. ”
My ribcage lifted in my body as I listened to my sister say everything I’d ever hoped I’d hear from her. “I love you,” I said.
“I love you more. I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done.
Now it’s time for you to shift your focus from me to yourself.
” I didn’t want to abandon Autumn and it did feel uncomfortable to accept help from Dexter—a virtual stranger—but if Autumn hadn’t accepted help from me, she wouldn’t be about to graduate.
If my parents hadn’t accepted my help they’d be—God knows where.
I had to work past my discomfort with receiving help, even if I was way more accustomed to giving it.
“You’ve sacrificed enough. Go start your job with this new fancy jewelry company and grab yourself a life outside Sunshine, Oregon. ”
“Thank you,” I said. I may have paid her college tuition, but having her as my cheerleader was more than enough of a payback.
“I love you,” she replied.
I slipped the phone back into my pocket and headed into Daniels & Co.
I had no complaints about the people I worked with at Sparkle, who had been creative and energetic, but as I sat on my navy velvet chair alongside the rest of the competition team at Daniels & Co, Sparkle seemed a long way away.
Daniels & Co people carried themselves slightly differently.
Teresa used to high five everyone on the team every morning and my fellow American on the team, Evan, called everyone “winner” regardless of circumstance.
The people at Daniels & Co were far more subdued.
It was almost as if making the finals had been a foregone conclusion.
They’d expected to excel, and now they expected to win.
People spoke in hushed tones as they joined us around the huge black conference table, though the seat at the top of the table remained empty.
Over text, I’d tried to get Dexter to agree to act as if he didn’t know me.
He’d refused to go that far, but agreed to treat me like any colleague.
I just hoped I could do the same thing. The problem was I could feel his rough jaw under my fingertips right now, and he hadn’t even entered the room yet.
The subdued chatter settled down as an older lady with hair swept up into an elegant chignon came into the room.
“Good morning, team,” she said, smiling as she set her silver pen on her notepad. “I see we’re all here.” She glanced around the table and her gaze set on me. This must be Primrose, Dexter’s head designer. The one Dexter was going to tell about me. “You must be Hollie.”
“Yes, Hollie Lumen. I’m so happy to be here.”
“Well, we’re delighted to have you on the team. I’m Primrose and I’m the head designer at Daniels & Co.” She beamed at me, but just as I thought she was going to say something else, she turned back to her pad. “So, I know we are all very pleased to have reached the finals of the competition.”
Was Dexter not planning to come to this meeting? I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
“But we can’t celebrate yet,” Primrose continued. “Now is when we want to increase our focus and commitment.”
Had he stayed away to make me feel more comfortable? I needed to focus. On the meeting. On work. I had to stop thinking about Dexter. This was a second chance and I wasn’t going to squander it.
“We want to win this entire thing and bejewel the princess of Finland. We’re not at work so we can say on our CV that we were on the team that finalled. That’s not who we are.”
I glanced around the room. No one was doing Jell-O shots or flashing their boobs. I’m not sure Primrose needed to tell her team to focus. Everyone seemed very serious.