Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Hollie
The hood of my jacket kept blowing off in the wind.
I’d been planning on taking a shower when I got home, but I was getting one for free on my walk back instead.
My hair was soaking and my shoulders ached.
Pauly was right. Four double shifts in a week was too many. I couldn’t wait to collapse into bed.
I pulled up my hood for the nine millionth time, angled my head into the wind to keep it from flying off and turned into the park.
I managed to get to our trailer without it flying off again. I started up the steps, flipping back my hood as I got under the awning and fell back a step when I saw there was someone waiting by our front door.
Not just any person.
Dexter.
“Hi,” I said, because what else could you say when the man you were in love with appeared on your doorstep.
I was rooted to the spot, unable to process Dexter Daniels against the backdrop of the Sunshine Trailer Park.
He looked so out of place. It was as if everything else faded into a blur of gray, but Dexter was every color in the rainbow.
“Hey,” he replied, reaching for my hand to pull me up the steps. How did Dexter manage to get sexier, even under the Oregon sky? And here I was soaking wet and aching after too many double shifts.
“You look beautiful.”
I gave him one of my best don’t-BS-me looks. What was he doing here? “You’re a long way from home,” I said.
He shrugged. “Maybe not. You’re here.”
My insides hurt I missed him so much. But he didn’t belong here.
I pulled out the keys from my jeans pocket. He’d flown five thousand miles, the least I could do was invite the guy in. The danger was I wouldn’t ever want him to leave.
“Thought you might want to know about this.” He reached down to the floor beside him and picked up a sleek, glass trophy.
I wanted to throw my arms around him. I was so proud. It was what he wanted most in the world and I’d wanted it so badly for him too. “You deserve it. And the entire team. I’m so happy for you.”
“I wish you could have been there.”
I sighed. I wished I could have been there too.
Although it was wonderful to see Dexter—he was achingly familiar despite having only been in my life a few months—it was almost beyond painful.
I’d hated walking out on him and not even getting a chance to say goodbye, but at least I hadn’t had to endure this.
At least I hadn’t had to look in his eyes knowing it would be the last time.
“I had a speech prepared,” he said. “I think it got lost in the rain.”
“A speech?” I asked.
I didn’t need a speech from him. He deserved an apology from me. He’d emailed Autumn over and over and I’d told her not to reply. Although she must have ignored me at some point. How else would he have known where to find me?
“I’d rehearsed it. But now I can’t remember how it starts.” He stopped abruptly. “I let Autumn have my number and you didn’t call.”
Shame circled my chest. “I know. I’m sorry. Once I was back here, I couldn’t bear to look back. I thought a clean break would be easier.”
“Was it?”
I thought I’d go back to Oregon and be able to put London in a drawer. Away from real life. But it didn’t fit. I couldn’t hide it away, pretend it had never happened. “It was harder than anything I’ve ever done before.”
He sighed, his chest expanding and contracting, his nearness suddenly so much closer. I just had to stretch out my arm and slide my palm up against his cheek.
“Woohoo,” Mrs. Daugherty called from across the street.
“Hi, Mrs. Daugherty. I’ll catch up with you later,” I said, picking up my backpack. “You’d better come in.”
I unlocked the door and we went inside.
“What’s this?” he said, immediately honing in on the far wall of the trailer where Autumn and I had pinned up my making-it-back-to-London plan.
“My plan to come back to London.”
He turned to me, fixing me with a stare. “You were coming back? To me?”
Was I going back to Dexter? Or was it a plan to go after my dreams? Both, I decided. “It’s going to take months. Longer maybe. And I didn’t expect you to wait, I just—”
He stalked over to me and cupped my face in my hands. “You were coming back? Then why didn’t you call?”
I tried to push down the emotion swirling in my belly. I wanted everything but him to melt away, for the world to condense around just the two of us, existing someplace outside of reality. But that’s not how life went. I pulled away from him and he looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.
But it wasn’t my mind I’d lost.
This man had stolen my heart.
“I had things to figure out, Dexter. I didn’t—don’t expect you to wait for me. And hoping for you . . . Hope is something in short supply around here. I’d rather deal in facts and certainty.”
Dexter pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, let’s get some facts on the table. If you want to be in London, why are you standing here in Oregon?”
Dexter made it sound so simple.
“I have to find somewhere for my parents to live. For Autumn and I to live. We have to leave the trailer park. It’s a long story but I’ll figure it out. It’s just going to take time.”
“That sounds simple enough. If it’s just money you need, I can help with that.”
I closed my eyes, wishing he wasn’t quite so near. Quite so generous. Quite so wonderful. “Dexter, I’ve got this.”
“But, Hollie, why can’t you let me help?”
My family wasn’t Dexter’s responsibility. He wasn’t a white knight, riding to my rescue, or even Richard Gere carrying Debra Winger out of a factory. This was real life. “I don’t need you to save me, Dexter.”
“I’m not trying to save you, Hollie. I know you’re perfectly capable of saving yourself. I’m trying to share my life with you.”
Warmth gathered in my heart at the thought that he still wanted me. The idea of sharing the rest of my life with Dexter . . . Well, it was more than I could imagine and certainly more than I deserved. “You think you’d want to wait? You know, until I figure out my plan?”
“I don’t want to wait a single second. I want to be with you night and day. I’ll do whatever it takes, but the plan is bullshit, Hollie.”
It looked more complicated than it actually was because of all the different colors. “It’s a good plan,” I said, defensive and sheepish at the same time.
“I know you don’t want to be rescued. I know it’s hard to rely on anyone because no one has proved reliable to you. But let me be the first person in your life who you can count on. Yes, you’re perfectly capable of saving yourself, Hollie. But you don’t have to. I’m here to help.”
It was as if I’d been trying to balance a week’s worth of groceries in my hands and someone had just fired off a shotgun, made me jump, and everything had come crashing to the ground.
I couldn’t take anymore. I covered my face with my hands and turned to face the door in a futile attempt to stop him from seeing me cry.
“Hey,” he said, smoothing his hand across my back and gathering me in his arms. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He hadn’t upset me. I’d just let go of what I’d been holding onto for so long.
“Let me lighten your load,” he whispered as he held me. “Now I remember how my speech started out.”
I looked up at him, waiting for him to tell me.
“I love you, Hollie Lumen.”
I paused, wanting to say the words back. “That’s a short speech.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I forgot the next bit. But what I don’t have to remember, because it’s etched on my soul, is that I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life.
I miss everything about you. I hate waking up without you.
I need to tell you every single thought in my head, and hear about every single thought in yours.
I’m head over bloody heels in love with you. ”
“I just need some time,” I said, my head spinning from the idea that Dexter Daniels could love me.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said. “But that can’t start until we’ve figured out how we get you back to London. What good is any of my money if I can’t use it to help the woman I love?”
“I don’t want your money, Dexter. It’s not why I love you.”
He pulled me so close I could feel his heartbeat against mine. “You love me?”
How could he doubt it? “I think I loved you from the moment I first saw you across the ballroom that first night.”
He closed his eyes in a long blink like he was drinking down a glass of cool water after being lost in a desert. “We’ll figure this out, Hollie. Your parents. Your sister. We’ll do whatever it takes. Do you trust me?”
He’d flown halfway around the world to come and find me. And he hadn’t slung me over his shoulder and demanded I get the first plane back to London. He loved me and I loved him and he wanted to help. How could I say no?
I reached up and clasped his face in my hands. “I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
He grinned. “Every day of the week and twice on Sunday.”
I had the feeling it wouldn’t be the last time that Dexter Daniels would do anything I asked of him. And that was only one of the reasons I loved him and would do anything he asked of me.
“I just need one more thing from you,” I said.
“Name it,” he asked.
“Kiss me?”