Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Gabriel
I rehearsed the conversation I’d have with Mike in my head as I sat in the back of the cab heading home.
We were going to have diametrically opposing views on how we wanted to spend this weekend.
I wanted to hang out with Bethany. Mike would want to work.
I peered out of the raindrop-speckled window, fascinated with the people milling about on the streets.
Where were all these people headed at just gone three on a Friday afternoon?
Was I one of thousands heading home early?
Was it what the rest of the world usually did while I stayed chained to my desk?
Before I left the office, I’d gotten to the end of the draft contract I’d received overnight on one of the Mike Green deals.
Other than a couple of drafting issues and a correction on a tax point, I knew this was where we’d end up.
I also knew Mike was going to try to make me negotiate it for the next sixty hours straight.
If I lost our battle, I wouldn’t get to go home for two nights and kiss my sleeping daughter.
I’d miss the entire weekend with her, and I’d risk Autumn being pissed off.
So I’d jumped in a cab before Mike had a chance to call me.
That way, at least I’d get to see Bethany this afternoon.
My phone buzzed in my hand. Mike could fucking wait.
I flipped it over to see Gillian Jones’s name flashing on the screen.
My stomach sank to my feet. I wasn’t expecting a call from her.
She was my personal lawyer, and I hadn’t spoken to her for months.
There would only be one reason why she’d call.
“Gillian, what can I do for you?”
“I’ve heard from her lawyers.”
She didn’t need to tell me who her was.
Her was Bethany’s mother, my wife, and the woman I’d thought I was going to spend the rest of my life building a family with.
When she’d walked out nearly three years ago, I’d been devastated, blindsided.
Heartbroken that our family was shattering into pieces and that Bethany had been left without a mother.
Now I was just numb.
“Her lawyers have sent over the paperwork to start off the divorce proceedings.”
It wasn’t pain I felt exactly. More the memory of pain. A bruise reminding me what had happened; a shadow that would never fully disappear.
“Good,” I replied. “If I hadn’t been so busy, I would have started the process before now.
” She’d filed for a legal separation almost immediately after leaving, but this was the first I’d heard about divorce.
“What does she want?” I asked. My father’s money had made me a wealthy man.
But Bethany was the most valuable part of my life.
One, she was welcome to. The other, I’d fight to the death to protect.
“Nothing,” Gillian said.
Relief swept through me. She could have had the money.
She must have known that. She could have had enough never to work again.
But she didn’t want anything? It was the best possible outcome for me.
It also added a layer of clarity. She’d never seen our family the way I had, never loved our daughter the way I did.
She couldn’t have. Otherwise, she would have never walked away.
But I should have learned that lesson already.
I knew some people weren’t capable of loving their children in a way they needed.
I just wished I’d realized Penelope was that kind of person before I’d married her.
“Good. Well, get it done.”
“I’ll courier a document over for signing.”
I hung up and dialed a familiar number. “Gordon, the Globe-Wernicke piece that I looked at a month or so ago. Is it still available?”
“The bookshelf you said needed too much work?”
I ignored him. “Is it still available?”
“I sold it yesterday. I’m due to ship it out this afternoon.”
“I’ll double whatever they paid. Have it delivered to the house in the next hour.”
“Absolutely,” Gordon replied.
I’d bought a number of interesting pieces of furniture from Gordon over the years. He had a great eye. Best of all, he was a man of few words.
My next call was to Mike. I wasn’t in the mood for his bullshit, and I was going to bring the fight to him.
“Mike, did you see the agreement?” I asked when he answered.
“I’ve just finished going through it. It’s outrageous. I can’t believe they’ve asked for a retention and there’s no—”
“Nothing they’ve asked for is unreasonable. Other than a correction on a tax issue, this document is signable.”
Mike started his usual expletive-ridden tirade I’d endured during every other phone call I had with him. I ran through my emails and ignored him. When he quietened, I turned back to the phone.
“It’s a waste of our time and your money to argue these points. The cost outweighs the gain.”
“I don’t care. If they’ve offered this deal, we can get better—”
“No, Mike. They’ve offered this deal because they don’t want to fight over non-material issues for the next week, only to end up exactly where this draft puts us. If you want to negotiate this contract any further, then you need to do it yourself or get another lawyer.
Silence filled the cab before Mike chuckled, his furious mood seemingly having passed. “You’re refusing instructions?”
“If you won’t take my advice, there’s no point in us continuing like this.
” For the last year, I’d put up with Mike’s demands and outbursts and I was at the end of my tether.
I’d been through the terrible twos with Bethany, and it felt as if I were back there with Mike.
The difference with a toddler was that they grew out of the phase.
I’d accepted Mike’s attitude to keep the work coming in, but I was done.
I was an excellent lawyer who gave great advice.
If he didn’t see that, then he could go elsewhere.
That might get me fired from the firm, but if I could survive Penelope walking out on our family when Bethany was just a year old, I could survive anything.
“You really think this is as good as we can get?” Mike asked, his voice bristling at the edges.
“I do. And you know it’s fair. It’s what we both thought you’d end up with.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
I didn’t try to convince him. Mike knew I was right.
“Okay. Let’s get it done. This way I suppose it means I can still take my wife to dinner tonight.”
I hadn’t realized he was married. “You can thank me later.”
“I’m not sure my wife will thank you. I’m sure she would have preferred the jewelry I’d planned to buy her to make up for missing dinner.”
I chuckled. “I’m sure she’ll be delighted to meet you again. No doubt it’s been awhile. I’m going to get this deal done and then we can enjoy our respective weekends. Have a good one, Mike.”
I tucked my phone in my pocket and found the tickets I’d bought and pulled them out.
Two tickets to the matinee of a Sound of Music singalong this coming Wednesday.
I stared at them, not quite recalling why I’d bought them.
I’d never made suggestions of activities for Bethany to previous nannies she’d had, but I knew when Autumn saw these tickets, her eyes would light up like I’d just made all her dreams come true.
She was unlike any woman I’d ever met. Overenthusiastic about everything.
Always smiling. She seemed happy just to wake up in the world.
She was also stunningly beautiful. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d noticed what a woman wore, but I couldn’t ignore her red dress last Saturday night.
The dinner at Dexter and Hollie’s was also the first time I’d seen her a little unsure of herself, and I’d found myself feeling oddly protective of her.
I didn’t want her spending the night fending off the competitive flirting between Joshua and Tristan.
I felt an urge to shield her from that.
But I shouldn’t have touched her. For a few seconds I’d forgotten myself and given in to the desire I had to feel her—just my leg against hers. The call from Gillian was a stark reminder of why such behavior was foolish. I wasn’t going down that path again.
The cab came to a halt outside the house. I settled the fare and took my keys from my pocket.
I could hear the sounds of strangled cats before I’d even opened the front door.
I stood in the hallway, trying to make out what they were singing about.
Oh yes, even I’d heard the dulcet tones of Dolly Parton, belting out “9 to 5.” I just hadn’t heard it overlaid by the two worst singers in history.
I opened the door to the main family area. “Good afternoon,” I said, a little taken aback by the scene in front of me. Autumn’s long dark hair was divided into various bobbles and clips and bows, and her face was blobbed with color. Was that paint?
“Daddy!” Bethany screamed as she ran toward me and jumped into my arms.
My daughter’s face looked like she was also in training for clown school, although her hair seemed to have fared better than Autumn’s.
“What’s going on in here?” I asked, needing an explanation for why my daughter looked like she was starring in a Steven King film.
Thankfully, Autumn turned off the music before I had to ask.
“We’re playing makeup parlor, Daddy. Do I look pretty?”
Bethany was the only person in my life I lied to. “You look gorgeous.” Somewhere underneath all that color.
“And Autumn looks pretty, doesn’t she?” Bethany pointed at her nanny, clearly wanting me to agree with her.
The fact was, it was easy to see past the smeared lipstick, comically red cheeks and lopsided hair that made her look like she’d had a fight with a puppy. There was no doubt Autumn was more than pretty.
“You like my eye shadow?” Autumn asked, grinning at me. “Bethany’s a natural, isn’t she?”
“You both look pretty. Very . . . colorful.”
Autumn laughed and took Bethany’s hand from around my neck and wiped it of something gloopy.
I wasn’t sure whether or not it was perfume, but Autumn’s scent reminded me of sunshine.
Of spring blossom and roses. She winced and dabbed my shirt collar.
“I think she got you,” she said, pressing her fingertips into my neck. “Sorry.”
“It’s not a problem.” It had been a long time since a woman had touched me that way.
Our eyes locked. We were just a few centimeters apart, so close I could feel her body heat, feel myself wrapped in her scent.
For just a moment, those promises I’d made to myself years ago and reminded myself of just a few minutes ago in the cab disintegrated. I wanted her.
Autumn looked away first.
“You think your Daddy would like a makeover?” Autumn asked.
Bethany’s eyes went wide. “Yes!” Before I had a chance to object, she’d slid out of my arms and was pulling my hand, trying to guide me to the sofa. “You sit here, Daddy. You need lipstick.”
“No, Bethany. You’re not putting makeup on me.” I shrugged out of my jacket and loosened my tie. I needed to breathe. “Men don’t wear makeup.”
“Not true,” Autumn said, shooting me a smug smile. She knew she was setting me up. “And I think it should be encouraged. If women have to go through all this, I don’t see why all men shouldn’t make more of an effort.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?” I asked Autumn as she began to gather and tidy.
“I’m on the side of developing Bethany’s motor skills. I’m surprised you’re not encouraging her to develop in all areas.”
I sighed and took a seat on the sofa. I’d won my battle with Mike this afternoon. I suppose it was only fair I lost this one. “Okay. Maybe a little lipstick won’t hurt.”
“You’ll feel like a million dollars when Miss Bethany’s through with you,” Autumn said. “It will relax you. You might even start singing along and enjoying show tunes with us.”
“Speaking of,” I said, reaching for my jacket. “I got you two these for next week.”
I handed a ticket to each of them.
“What is it, Daddy?” Bethany asked, looking at the ticket.
“Are you serious?” Autumn asked, a grin the size of Ireland stretching across her face. “Really? You bought this for me? For us?”
Anyone would have thought I’d just bought her a small private island. “It’s just theatre tickets.”
She held her hand up in a stop gesture. “These are not just theatre tickets,” she said.
“Bethany, we get to go to a musical sing-along. Have you ever heard of anything so wonderful?” She sighed and collapsed onto the velvet footstool as if her legs had given out.
“This show came to Portland once but we—” She stared at the ticket, shaking her head.
“I can’t believe I finally get to go.” She fell into silence as she held the ticket in her hand as if it were made of gold.
Finally, she glanced up at me. “No one except Hollie has ever done anything so nice for me.”
I swallowed, completely taken aback at how delighted—moved even—she was at the tickets.
The idea that she’d never had anyone do anything nice for her troubled me.
Why not? Surely she’d had parents. Boyfriends?
“Well, I don’t want to be accused of neglecting my daughter’s education, now do I?
” I was rarely the one to lighten the mood, but the situation called for it.
Autumn looked at me, a small smile creeping over her face. “As if you’d neglect anything when it comes to Bethany. You’re an amazing father.”
A ball of heat burrowed into my chest. There wasn’t a better compliment. It was the only thing that meant anything to me in this world.
A knock on the door interrupted my imminent makeover. That would be the Globe-Wernicke—my distraction from my impending divorce. Except that I hadn’t thought about it once since I’d gotten home.