Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
Autumn
I was officially pissed off on my sister’s behalf.
“Are you mad at him?” I asked her as we stood in front of the store that had fresh pink and blue flowers draped around the storefront like some kind of magical fairyland.
Hollie had called me this morning and begged me to come to the florist with her.
Dexter had had some kind of issue with a client not being happy with her ginormous diamond and had to go sort it out, and Hollie didn’t want to choose their wedding flowers by herself.
“He was really upset that he couldn’t be here. We tried to rearrange but this woman is booked up for like, five years and a day. I’m sorry I had to drag you here.”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“I thought you might be busy with Gabriel,” she said, stepping forward to smell one of the hanging lilacs that drooped over the door.
“We didn’t have particular plans. And I always like hanging out with you. I’m just a little concerned with Dexter’s lack of participation in your wedding. I mean, I know he offered to take your name and everything, but it feels a little sexist.”
“It looks that way. But there’s so much to do and I think he’s actually done more than me. The guest list, the invitations, the seating plan. All Dex. He’s not intentionally missing meetings.”
I supposed I didn’t know what went into planning a wedding, but if Hollie thought it was okay then I supposed it was. She was usually right.
She peered into the window and rang the pink old-fashioned bell that sat on the pink doorframe.
“Who has a doorbell on a store? Aren’t they supposed to be encouraging people to go inside?”
“People don’t need encouragement. This flower store is so sought after it’s like an urban myth. Dexter had to get one of his clients to pull in a favor to get us an appointment here.”
Rich people were crazy. Roses were roses. What could be so special about the ones here?
A small lady with a short blonde bob appeared at the door, peering over her old-fashioned semi-circle glasses perched on the end of her nose like I’d only ever seen in the books I read to Bethany.
“Welcome to our world,” she said in a hushed voice. “Come through.”
Inside was like a fairytale come to life.
I wished Bethany was here. She would have loved it.
There were different types of flowers everywhere I looked.
Some falling from the ceiling, some hanging from the walls, covering tables and desks.
I could see nothing but petals and color wherever I looked.
Even the floor was completely covered, other than a path that wound around to a door leading to a room in the back.
It was like some kind of Disney experience, only better because the scent of every flower in the world surrounded us.
“This is amazing,” Hollie said.
“A floral experience,” the lady said. “That’s what we aim to create.”
Could I move in? “It’s beautiful,” I said, turning a full three hundred and sixty degrees to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. I pulled out my phone so I could grab a picture.
“Sorry, no photographs please.” She gave no explanations and I put my phone back in my bag. “Come through and we can discuss the experience we will create for you.”
The next hour was surreal. I saw examples of every type of flower I’d ever imagined. I could tell Hollie was getting overwhelmed because she clearly loved it, but she was also trying to keep the wedding simple.
“Why don’t you focus on the tables and go from there,” I suggested. “I like these, where the flowers are high and trickle down to the tabletop.” I pointed to one of the table displays in front of us.
Hollie nodded. “I do like the orchid combined with the lily of the valley. But then I really like the roses and the wisteria as well. What do you think?” she asked the self-styled floral designer.
“I think,” she replied in hushed tones, “that you need to just be in the flowers. And the decision will come to you. I will leave you and return and you will have the answer.”
“Did we just land in California?” I whispered once the woman had left.
“I just have to be in the flowers. So . . . let’s sit.” We took a seat on the tiny silk sofa, the only surface not covered in flowers.
“You think we should close our eyes?” I asked.
“No, I think you should tell me how the visit with Penelope went.”
I groaned but gave her the highlights. “I’ve never seen Gabriel like this. He’s adamant that she’s going to leave again and furious that this time, Bethany will know more and be disappointed.”
“That’s an understandable concern though, isn’t it?”
“It is, but he’s so adamant that it’s going to happen.
It might not. This could be good for Bethany.
It could be good for him.” The more I thought about it, the more I thought that perhaps Gabriel was fighting the inevitable.
“Apparently, she’ll get some kind of visitation, because she hasn’t been abusive and isn’t an addict or whatever.
But Gabriel is fighting it so hard, and I wonder if .
. .” I’d barely been able to let myself think about the reasons for Gabriel being angry.
“He has such strong feelings; I can’t help but wonder if it’s covering up the fact that deep down, he wants her back.
He wants his family back.” I wasn’t expecting it, but from somewhere, my eyes began to water.
I had to swallow down sobs. “I can’t blame him. ”
Hollie sat forward and grabbed my hand. “Autumn, are you in love with Gabriel?”
I shook my head. “I can’t allow myself to think about it.
I’ll be off in a few weeks anyway. I’m going to lose him, whatever happens.
It’s just . . . I think back to all those guys in Oregon that I used to date .
. . They were just interim guys. I don’t mean that I didn’t like them, but they were for the moment.
And Gabriel started off like that but now .
. . Now I’m his interim girl. You know? The one he picks up as he’s passing through life from one serious relationship to another. ”
Hollie squeezed my hand and I just tried to focus on not crying. God forbid, I stained this beautiful silk couch.
“And for once,” I continued. “I don’t think he was my interim guy, you know?”
Hollie’s face was full of sorrow. “I do know. It was what I was afraid of.”
“Usually, I can put a spin on things. Look to the positive. But now I’m in that house, with him, and I’m so happy.
” My voice cracked and I took a breath. “I’m really, properly happy, Hollie.
And I’ve been pretending to myself that it can go on like this.
That I can be happy without having to spin anything for once in my life.
That the present would last forever. And now I try to think of the positives of not living with Gabriel and Bethany.
I try to think about how I’ll be better off when I go travelling and start a new job but when I do, I’m utterly miserable.
There doesn’t seem to be a bright side without Gabriel. ”
“You’ll find one,” Hollie said. “It’s what you do.
You’ll find out how to make this work and how to move forward.
I promise you.” She shifted closer and pulled me in for a hug, putting her chin on my head like she used to when I was a child.
“In the meantime, we’re going to get out of here and I’m taking you day drinking. ”
“Don’t be crazy. We need to pick your flowers.”
At that moment, the blonde lady was back.
“I’ve decided,” Hollie said, standing. “I want that one but with wisteria and cream roses.”
“As you wish,” she said.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Is that even an option?”
“She’s sure,” the blonde lady said and gestured for the door. Apparently, we were leaving.
“I need you to do something for me,” Hollie said as we stepped out onto the sidewalk.
She turned me to face her and put her arms on my shoulders.
“I know I’ve spent our entire lives telling you to think about your future but now, I need you to focus on this moment.
I want you to enjoy each day you spend with Gabriel and Bethany.
I want you to take each new experience in London and squeeze everything you can from it.
Forget about what might happen with Penelope or what Gabriel could be thinking.
Stop worrying about what’s going to change when you start a new job or travel. Just enjoy. Just live. Just be.”
I exhaled as I thought about what she’d said. “Did you inhale too many flower fumes or something?”
“Maybe,” she said. “But it’s good advice all the same. Don’t ruin today thinking about tomorrow.” She linked her arm into mine and leaned into the road to hail a cab.
“Where are we going?” I asked as a taxi pulled over.
“We’re two American girls in London looking for a place to day drink. And we have a black Amex. We’re off to the American Bar at the Savoy, of course.” She ducked and climbed in. “They tell me there’s a slice of bright side with every cocktail.”
Thank God for my sister. She was always there to pick me up when I fell. And sometimes, like now, just as I was about to.