Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Hartford
I squeezed my eyes shut in a long blink.
Focus, I said to myself. I was about to have an important meeting with Gerry.
I couldn’t be thinking about the delicious way Joshua’s thumbs pressed into the space next to my hip bones, the way his tongue felt against my skin, his expression when he came. I had to focus.
I pulled back my shoulders and knocked on Gerry’s office.
“Yes,” Gerry’s tone was uncharacteristically snappish. “Hartford.” He glanced up at me. “Good, good. Come and sit down.”
I’d been working on trying to find a way to stop Merdon from launching Calmation as an over-the-counter drug. But there were limited things we could do when we couldn’t talk about Calmation publicly.
“What do you have for me?”
I slid across an article I’d written about the dangers of ADHD drugs for children being available over the counter.
“This one is the right length for Health Service Journal. This one,” I said, handing him another piece of paper.
“is a little longer and more specific, which will be right for the BMJ.”
I paused while he read them both.
“If only we could mention Calmation by name—call them directly to the mat.” He scratched his chin.
“We lose a lot of power because it’s not specific.
There’s no target we can go after. If we could talk about Calmation itself, we could get you on news programs, go on social media—really make it a campaign.
I think we need to start fundraising, so we’ll be ready to legally challenge the regulator’s decision.
We need to get signatures from top pediatricians all over the world saying what a bad decision this is. ”
He sucked in a breath. “It’s difficult. I don’t want to get my contact in trouble. Big pharma can be . . . tricky.”
“I just don’t think we have much firepower without talking about Calmation directly.”
“Let’s put a plan together—one we can put into action as soon as Merdon files in the US.”
I nodded and handed over the folder I’d been clutching. “This is what I have.”
Gerry shot me a suspicious look and opened the file. He flicked through the launch plan I’d been working on.
“I was thinking that as soon as we can go public, I might be able to get Joshua’s input—you remember Joshua Luca, who I brought to dinner?
He’s in PR and marketing. I’m sure he would help us if I asked him.
I know he’s doing some work for a pharma company at the moment. He might have some good insights.”
“This is all excellent work, Hartford. I’m impressed. But it must have taken you a great deal of time to do all this without any help. Have you still managed to create some balance in your life? Have you managed to properly get away from thinking about medicine?”
I wasn’t about to confess to Gerry all the things Joshua had done to me the previous night that had caused my mind to go entirely blank and my limbs entirely weak. “Absolutely. I’ve been taking those baking lessons, I went to the National Gallery the other day, and . . . I’ve been dating.”
Gerry smiled. “Well, then this is a good day. We can only deal with what we can control and my goodness, you are doing exactly that.” His tone was like a warm hug. I couldn’t help but be proud that he was pleased.
“Do you know when Merdon are going to file for approval in the US?”
“I don’t have exact dates,” Gerry said. “I just know it’s imminent.”
“As soon as they do, I can get Joshua’s input on my plan and see if there’s anything we’ve missed. But there are things we can do the day they file.”
“I agree. Let’s hold off on these articles until we can name names. Excellent work, Hartford. Not just on your planned crusade against Merdon, but also trying to create a life for yourself outside of medicine. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” I smiled and stood, pulling his office door closed as I left.
I was proud of myself too, and grateful to Gerry for pushing me.
Finding things to do outside of the hospital hadn’t been as horrifying as I’d expected it to be.
I’d thought that if I wasn’t consumed with medicine, I’d go back to how I was before I’d found it.
I’d go back to being a girl who couldn’t dance anymore.
But I’d kept busy and not found my thoughts sliding to the past any more than usual.
The regret I’d thought would flood in about what my silly infatuation with Joshua had cost me just hadn’t materialized.
Maybe that’s why I’d shut off my forcefield last night and kissed him back. The fear of what he could do to me had dimmed. I knew him now in a way I hadn’t done when we were teenagers. Things were different now.