Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
Andrew
I was the first one to arrive at drinks, which had never happened before.
There was still five minutes to go until we were due to meet, but there had been no point staying in the office. I’d not been able to concentrate on anything since my meeting with Sofia.
“Hey, mate, what’s going on?” Dexter said, sliding into the booth next to me.
“I didn’t see you come in. You want a drink?”
Dexter gave me a look like he thought I’d lost my mind. “I have one on order. It’s not just you that have the bar staff wrapped around your finger.”
I nodded just as a clatter of chairs scraping against the stone floor caught my attention.
“Tristan,” Dexter said, as if an explanation was necessary.
He didn’t join us right away. Instead, he started talking to the barmaid who had rushed over to help with the upturned chairs. Within a minute she was giggling and twirling her hair like she was fourteen and Tristan was Justin Bieber.
“What are we going to do with him?” I said, nodding toward Tristan.
“It’s not him I’m worried about.”
“I’m fine,” I said, grateful that at that moment, Beck, Gabriel, and Joshua came through the door.
Gabriel sat down next to me and gave me a pat on the back.
The rest of them filed in, swapping hugs, handshakes, and fist bumps along with updates on whatever conversations they were partway through.
I couldn’t join in with any of it. I just didn’t have the capacity to think about anything—or anyone—but Sofia.
“Sorry about him,” Joshua said to the barmaid as he guided Tristan to our table.
“You’re here early.” Beck glanced between me and Dex. “You okay?”
“Fine,” I snapped.
Everyone got their drinks and settled around the table before a silence fell across the group.
“So where’s the lovely Sofia?” asked Tristan.
I looked up from where I was staring into my glass of Barolo that I couldn’t bring myself to taste and found five pairs of eyes all looking at me, but none wondering who Sofia was. “You’re a gossip, Tristan.”
“No,” he snapped back, “I’m your friend. And something is off with you. You never suggest impromptu drinks and now we’re here, you’re even darker than normal.”
“I’m not dark. I’m efficient. Maybe you should take a leaf out of my book.”
Beck put his arm around my shoulder. “You’re really good at cutting to the chase of an issue. You’ve always done that for us when we needed clarity. We’re just trying to help you in return.”
“I’m not sure I would be with Hartford if you weren’t . . . the way you are,” Joshua said. “Although it pains me to think you get credit for my love life.”
“All I said to Joshua is that I’d never seen you so at ease with a woman,” Tristan said. “I wasn’t gossiping. I was excited to see you so happy.”
Disappointment slid down my spine. It was easy to be happy with Sofia. She was just so completely and unashamedly herself. It was my favorite thing about her.
“And you said she was a knockout,” Joshua added.
Tristan ignored him. “Tell us what’s going on. I’m sorry if I did the wrong thing.”
I gave a small shake of my head. “Sorry, I . . . overreacted.”
“It’s a change for you,” Dex said. “You’re the king of underreaction. It’s good to mix things up once in a while.”
I’d called this meeting. I needed to walk my talk and be efficient by telling them what the hell was the matter. I took a breath. “Sofia and I are done. But . . . I’m starting to realize she was—is—important. And I’d quite like to be spending time with her.” There. I’d said it.
I glanced up to find Tristan had his eyebrows raised. A grin threatened at the corner of his mouth.
Gabriel gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
As I scanned the faces around me, it was clear they wanted me to go on. But I wasn’t sure what more I could say.
“I’ve never—I have—I was thinking—” What was the matter with me? I couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t quite know why I was here or what I wanted them to say or do. But I knew there was no other place to be.
“We’ve been there,” Beck said. “It hits you like a freight train, doesn’t it?”
That’s how it felt. Like I’d been in a near-death accident. Surely there was something wrong with me that a woman could make me feel like this.
“I bet you can’t concentrate on anything,” Joshua said.
I shook my head. “Not a thing.”
“And you can’t find the words for how empty you feel because she’s not with you,” Gabriel said.
I exhaled in relief. They got it.
“You’re all nutters,” Tristan said. “But Sofia’s hot AF so I get it. Sort of. So why did you two break up?”
I explained about how I’d offered her the job but told her that we’d have to keep things professional if she took it.
“She’s perfect for the role and I sleep better at night knowing someone so talented—someone I trusted—is at the helm.
Sofia has the same fire in her belly my grandmother had. The magazine needs that.”
“But maybe so do you,” Gabriel said.
I sighed, unable to contradict him because he was right. When she’d accepted the offer, I couldn’t entirely smother my disappointment. She’d made a choice, the right choice, but a part of me wish she’d said no—or at least hesitated when I’d told her of my stipulation.
“I’m lost,” Tristan said. “I saw you less than a week ago and you were practically beaming. And from a man who can barely raise a smile on a good day, that was something. You offered her the job. Okay, I’m following you, but why did you end things?”
“Obviously we can’t be sleeping together if she’s such an integral part of my team. We agreed to keep things professional.”
“I agree you can’t keep sleeping together if you’re her boss,” Gabriel said.
I nodded and sipped my wine, trying to dull the ache that crept up my throat at his words but it only made things worse—made me miss her more.
“But if what you had was more than just sleeping together, it’s more complicated,” he added.
“Agreed,” Beck said. “If you’re just fucking her, it’s a terrible idea. If you’re committed to each other, it’s not the worst thing you can ever do.”
“It’s not—” I stopped at the growl in my voice. Beck didn’t mean anything by it, but the idea that what Sofia and I had was just fucking turned my stomach and made me see red. “What do you mean, committed?”
“You’ve had a lot of girlfriends over the years,” Beck said.
“Coming from you?” I asked. “Are you serious?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, no judgement. I’m saying you’re a serial monogamist. Nothing wrong with that but if in eighteen months you’re going to get bored, you won’t want to deal with a bad situation at the office.”
“I’m not going to get bored.” Not in eighteen months. Not in eighteen years. “Life with Sofia could never be boring.”
Dexter grinned like he knew exactly what I meant.
“I got me one of those,” Joshua said. “Sometimes I wonder how I ever put up with such a dull existence before Hartford.”
“Yep, none of the women we decided to commit to are boring. That’s for sure,” Beck said.
“So if you’re saying you’re committed to this woman for the long term, you might find working together makes things easier,” Beck said. “At least you know how each other operates, and you trust each other.”
I shook my head. “I can’t be with her and be her boss. It’s not fair. You all know that I’ve learned that lesson.” I’d come so close to coming apart after being fired, I knew I could never go back and make the same mistake and I was certain I couldn’t inflict that on anyone else.
Silence circled the table. Everyone knew my rule on not dating at work was hard and fast.
Maybe part of me was hoping one of my friends around this table would have an idea that I hadn’t thought of, but when I looked up, all I saw was concern. Not a solution among them.
“I’m sure you’ve thought of everything, mate,” Dexter said. “I just know that if I hadn’t broken the rules for Hollie, my life would be . . . I can’t imagine me without her.”
I wasn’t Dexter. I didn’t bend rules. For a few days, Sofia had convinced me that boundaries could be redrawn but the reality was, the foundations of my rules were too deep to undo. Sofia had just been a temporary crack that needed to be repaired.
“I get that you don’t want to repeat history,” Tristan said, then took a sip of his beer.
Yep. He got it. I wasn’t going back there.
“But if I remember correctly, it wasn’t the fact that you were fucking your boss that was the problem.
” Scratch that. He didn’t get it at all.
I could feel the blood in my veins heat.
He’d seen the state of me during that time.
How could he forget? “The issue was the person you were sleeping with—a woman you cared about, from what I recall—gave you up, sacrificed you to save her own skin. She betrayed you.”
I pulled in a breath, trying to keep the memories from flooding back. My past was in my past. I was trying to make sure I didn’t go back there. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Would Sofia ever do that to you?” Tristan said, not willing to let me be. “Would she betray you in that way?”
“Of course not,” I snapped. “Sofia isn’t anything like—” I couldn’t bring myself to utter the name of the woman who’d almost destroyed me. “She’s loyal and loving and the most trustworthy person—” I stopped midsentence as I started to process what Tristan was saying.
“And you’re nothing like that woman from before,” Tristan continued.
“You’re loyal and trustworthy. You’re a little irritable here and there, but you’re a good person.
You’d sacrifice yourself before betraying anyone.
You’re not her. Sofia’s not her. You’re not going to repeat history. It’s impossible.”
“It’s a good point, Tristan,” Gabriel said. “The issue isn’t intra-office relationships. It’s about the people having them.”
If what Tristan and Gabriel were saying was right, then my rules and lines in the sand had all been misplaced. Had I really been so adamant about guarding against repeating history, I’d been fighting on the wrong front?
“So what problem have we solved?” I asked. “It’s still not great to be dating someone who works for you.”
“You’re telling us that Sofia is the person you want to spend time with, spend your life with,” Beck said. “If she’s that special, it’s worth finding a way through.”
“She’s the exception,” Gabriel said. “And when you marry her, your relationship will always be exceptional because she’s your wife.”
I was going to marry her? I let Gabriel’s words sink in, half expecting them to feel ridiculous and uncomfortable, but it was just the opposite. It felt so easy.
Of course I wasn’t going to repeat history, because it was Sofia.
Of course I was going to marry her, because she was Sofia.
Of course she was exceptional, because she was Sofia.
“Is this how you lot felt when you met . . .”
“Hollie?” Dexter asked. “Absolutely. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“But it’s not always like that,” Beck said. “Sometimes you have to get to know a woman’s heart first.”
“In my case it took over a decade,” Joshua added. “But there was a moment—or a series of moments—when I knew I didn’t want anyone but her. Ever.”
“And that life without her would be . . . unthinkable.” Gabriel nodded. “Completely and utterly unthinkable. I mean, my hearing would be better because I wouldn’t have to put up with the tuneless musical numbers all the time, but I’d give up my hearing for her happily.”
“God, she really can’t sing,” Dexter said.
“Not a note,” I agreed.
“You lot,” Tristan said. “You’re such saps. Look, Andrew, you want the girl, find a way to make it work. You’ve done that your whole life. You made millions turning around businesses everyone else thought were done. You make the impossible possible for a living. Just apply it to your love life.”
I winced. “But what I do for companies is go in, fix them up, and then move on. It’s been a bit like that with my girlfriends. We date and then we’re over, no second look back.”
“The past doesn’t predetermine the future,” Tristan said. “You’ve proven as much by buying Verity. You committed to one business because it was important to you. If Sofia is important to you, you’ll make that work, too.”
Well, when he put it like that.
“Life is really on its head if I’m taking dating advice from Tristan,” I said.
“This isn’t dating advice,” Gabriel said. “This is life advice. You don’t want Sofia to be just another girl you dated.”
I nodded. He was right. Sofia was my future.
I’d known it since before I kissed her. Before I’d met her in the bar.
Not because she was the sexiest, most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in the flesh, but because she didn’t let me get away with anything without letting me know she was letting me get away with it.
“I don’t want to lose her.”
“Sack her and she’ll find another job somewhere else. You have plenty of money you can give her to cover her expenses,” Tristan suggested.
That was never going to work. “She would cut off my balls if I suggested that.”
“God, Tristan. You’re a neanderthal,” Beck said. “No wonder you’re single.”
“What? I’m suggesting she give up one job, not trek up Everest naked.” Tristan shook his head as if he were surrounded by idiots.
“Why should she give up her job for me?” I asked. “She’s right at the beginning of her career.”
“So sell Verity,” Tristan said.
“No way. I’ve fought too hard for too long for that business. And it’s not just a business to me. You all know that.”
“Maybe she’ll have an idea if you talk to her,” Tristan said.
If she had, wouldn’t she have shared it with me already? “Maybe she’s moved on,” I said, the words bitter on my tongue. “I was adamant about ending things.”
“I’m not being funny,” Tristan said. “But I saw the way she looked at you. It’s not been long. She’s not moving on this quickly.”
“Thanks, mate. Maybe the solution is for her to start job hunting and for us to work together in the meantime. If it’s short term, that’s . . .” The idea of being her boss felt uncomfortable, but anything was possible if it was just for a few months, wasn’t it? “Maybe that’s an option.”
“Talk to her,” Gabriel said. “Tell her you can’t live without her.”
“So dramatic,” Tristan said on a sigh.
“Just you wait, Tristan,” Joshua said, patting him on the shoulder. “It will happen to you.”
Tristan chuckled. “No way. I’m not wired like you lot. I’m not sitting here waiting to fall in love.”
I hadn’t been either but that’s what had happened. Sofia had come into my life fully armed to disarm me. It was the last thing I’d been expecting. Now I had a visceral understanding that I was meant to be with her. Like Tristan said, I just had to figure out how.