Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Tristan
Dates never made me sweaty. I’d never had even the slightest hint of nerves when I’d taken a woman out before, but walking up to Parker’s building, takeaway in one hand and everything else I needed in the other, the beads of sweat gathered at my hairline like they were teenage girls waiting for a Justin Bieber concert.
I let myself in using my key fob and took the stairs up to Parker’s flat two at a time.
I’d had my phone in my hand when I’d received her message earlier.
I’d been trying to work out whether I should message her, call her, or just drop by.
When my phone buzzed with her message, I took it as a sign and dialed her number.
No time like the present. I’d been without her for far too long.
It was time to make this right. I had no idea why she’d invited me to lunch or what she’d planned to say to me, but it was a chink of daylight in the dark, and I wasn’t willing to waste it.
When she opened the door, I swept my gaze down her body. It was so good to see her. Being this close to her felt like home, like the last thirty-four years had lasted just a flash and the few months with Parker had taken up most of my life. She was home. She was where I belonged. “No cow pajamas?”
She grinned up at me. “I changed.”
“You look beautiful.” She wore the red blouse from our first date and matching lipstick. She was perfect. Just like she always was. It didn’t matter what she wore.
“So do you,” she replied.
I glanced down at myself. I just had on jeans and a t-shirt. Just like I almost always did.
“Come in,” she said, holding the door open. “What kind of food did you bring?”
“Mexican. Is that okay?”
“More than. I have some wine—”
“You do the wine and I’ll set out the food and bring it through.” I didn’t want her to see me prepare what I had planned.
She shrugged, took a bottle of wine from the fridge, together with two wine glasses, and headed back into the living room. There was a small dining table pushed up against the far wall.
I set all the Mexican food out on a tray with some dishes and even remembered the serving spoons. Then I pulled out a bowl, tore open the packet of chocolate-covered raisins, and poured them in.
I grabbed the tray and met Parker at the table.
“I chose red. I hope that’s okay,” she said. Normally she wouldn’t ask, because she didn’t need to. I didn’t care about the color wine we drank. I just cared that I was here. With her.
“Great.”
We took our seats and began sharing out the food between us. Food was really the last thing on my mind. We were here together. That’s all that mattered.
“Thanks for coming,” she said.
“I’m glad to be here. I was about to call you when you messaged.”
“You were?” She seemed genuinely surprised, as if she couldn’t fathom what I might have to say to her. I hoped that wasn’t a bad sign. I didn’t care. I was here, determined to allay any concerns or fears she might have about taking me back.
“I was. I miss you.” My heart began to thunder in my chest. I put down my cutlery and just looked at her. “I missed you a lot.”
She nodded and put her cutlery down too. The food had just been a device to get us to this moment. What mattered were our words. Our feelings.
“I know I hurt you,” I said. “I know you don’t like that I kept things from you.
And I know you’re upset because I said I wouldn’t do anything differently in respect of your dad.
And I know I should have told you about monitoring your emails.
” I wanted her to understand that I had been listening, even though we didn’t agree on what I’d done.
“I just went into automatic mode and did whatever I needed to do to catch that little fucker, but I’m sorry. ”
She nodded.
“It won’t happen again. I didn’t deliberately not tell you that I was monitoring your emails. I just got caught up and it’s so second nature to me that—it didn’t occur to me that you wouldn’t know I was monitoring your emails.”
“I accept your apology.”
My heart inched higher in my chest.
She kept nodding. “And I understand you were doing the right thing by my dad when you kept his secret. You owed no loyalty to me but yes, I wish you’d have told me sooner.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“I accept your apology. And I’m sorry I just left and didn’t stay to have a conversation like the one we’re having right now.”
“Maybe we both needed a little time to come to our senses.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But I need you to know that I’m in this. I’m not going to jump ship at the first opportunity or even the last. I need you to know that I’m here. Committed to you. I’m not going to walk away.” She took a breath. “I love you.”
It was like someone had rammed a tree trunk into my chest—searing pain followed by the relief of sucking in a breath full of oxygen.
I thought I could protect myself from caring about someone. I’d had my life turned upside down by grief and I didn’t want it to happen again.
It was already too late.
Sitting here, it was obvious that the damage was done. If I lost Parker now, my entire world would fall apart.
“I love you too.” It was a relief to say those words, words representing feelings I’d been running from for far too long.
“I thought I could avoid having another person in my life who could turn my world upside down if I lost them. But . . . I don’t want to avoid it any longer. It was pointless to try.”
She nodded. “I get it. It makes sense.”
How was she accepting all this so quickly?
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Parker. I want to do everything I can to make it right.”
She sighed and picked up her fork. “Mexican food helps. But where are the cream puffs?”
“If I get you cream puffs, I’m forgiven?”
“Cream puffs or no cream puffs, you’re still forgiven. We love each other. We’re married—”
Shit, I’d forgotten I’d signed those bloody papers. I stood. “Did you sign those papers? Where are they?”
“Relax, I never signed them. Anyway, we couldn’t submit them until our first anniversary.”
“You never signed them?” I asked. “You didn’t give up on us?”
“I guess not. I never took off my rings.” She lifted her hand to show me.
I pulled her to her feet and swept my thumbs over her cheekbones. “I’ll never give up on us.”
“Sounds like a promise.”
It sounded like marriage.
I pressed my lips to hers and her hands pushed into my hair as our tongues met. She was everything I could have ever hoped for—sweet and sexy, kind but feisty.
I pulled back and took a breath. “There’s one more thing I need to say.”
She looked confused by my change of pace.
“Stay there,” I said, squeezing her shoulders and heading back into the kitchen. I opened the fridge door and pulled out the box of cream puffs I’d brought with me. I put one on a plate, took a breath, and headed back into the living room.
She tilted her head as she saw the plate. “You brought cream puffs?”
“How could I forget, Cream Puff?”
I set the plate down on the table “It’s not a diamond and we’re not in the Seychelles or a fancy restaurant.
There are no fireworks or—” I was babbling.
I needed to get on with it. “The fact is, I love you. And if I promise to keep you in cream puffs for the rest of your life, will you be my wife? For real this time.”
“For real?” she asked as if she hadn’t heard me right.
I dropped down on one knee, so she was in no doubt. “Will you marry me?”
She flung her arms around my neck. “Like this, you’re the perfect height.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes, that’s a yes. There’s just one thing.”
My heart inched higher in my chest. I didn’t want her to have a single doubt. “What?”
“What do I need to do for you that will make you see that I’m with you for good? Through good times and in bad. Whatever happens, I won’t ever lose sight of that, Tristan. How can I make you see that I guarantee me for you?”
I stood and brought her with me. She wrapped her legs around my waist as we kissed.
“You did already,” I replied. “You picked up the phone and asked me to lunch. It’s what I needed. Thank you for that.”
“Anything for you,” she replied.
This was exactly where I was meant to be. With Parker. I didn’t need anything else.
“You didn’t need to propose again,” she said.
“I get the feeling there’s going to be a lot of negotiation during our marriage. And I’m here for it. But you need to understand one thing that’s not negotiable: I’m going to give you more than you need.”
Her cheeks reddened to the shade of her lips. “Being with you, I already feel like the luckiest woman ever. I don’t need anything more.” Her palms skated up my back. It felt so good to have her in my arms. For good this time.
Warmth gathered in my chest. So many seeming coincidences had conspired to bring us to this moment, and I was grateful for each one of them.
I had accepted Arthur’s invitation before knowing what the charity was.
I had stepped out to take a call. Parker had run into me like a freight train—physically and metaphorically.
Every time fate could have torn us apart, it brought us closer together.
With Parker, I was stronger; together, we were unbreakable.
No matter what life threw at us, I had a feeling that would never change.