Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
T he sun was slipping toward the horizon and the sky was growing heavy with the promise of snow as Natalie and Gabe meandered through town later that day, hand in hand, clutching to-go cups of delicious hot chocolate and talking about their hopes and dreams.
“I always wanted kids of my own,” Gabe said, his voice wistful as they passed the town hall. Santa’s Wonderland was just closing for the evening, and Natalie did her best to sneak a peek of Faith in her elf costume to no avail. A little boy and girl, presumably brother and sister, were arguing good-naturedly over who got the biggest cookie from Carol, while nearby, a toddler had plopped himself in a snowdrift and was refusing to leave without seeing Santa one more time. Natalie’s heart ached as she looked at him—the rosebud lips, the chubby cheeks, the wide, angelic eyes.
“Me too,” she murmured, glancing at Gabe to find him gazing at the toddler too, his eyes filled with the same longing she felt. “Two, maybe three. Four if I thought I could handle it.” She laughed softly. “When I was a little girl, I used to dream of having a big family.”
“Only child?” Gabe asked, raising his hot chocolate to his lips and taking a long sip. Natalie nodded, but offered no further comment. “Growing up, I used to wish I was an only child,” he said with a laugh, nodding toward The Chestnut Café. Holly was visible through the window, wearing her flour-dusted apron and chatting with a pair of customers examining the bakery case. “Holly’s a few years younger than me, but we fought all the time, driving our mother up the wall. Only when we got older, and our parents passed away, did we start to grow closer. Now, I don’t know what I’d do without her and Sophie.”
Natalie was curious about Sophie’s father, but she didn’t know Gabe well enough to broach the subject. Instead, she merely said, “You’re lucky you have each other. ”
“We are,” Gabe replied, then fell silent for a time. The streetlamps were winking on all over town, casting the sidewalk in a halo of light. Above their heads, the first stars were twinkling in a dusky sky that seemed to stretch to infinity, broken only by the distant mountain peaks. This place was beautiful, Natalie thought, a true paradise, a treasure practically hidden from the outside world. Despite her fears, today had been wonderful in every way. She slid a glance Gabe’s way only to find him watching her carefully.
“What?” she asked with a nervous laugh. “Do I have chocolate on my mouth?”
“No.” Gabe still looked uncharacteristically serious, and something shifted in the pit of Natalie’s stomach. “I was… wondering if I could ask you something. A personal question.”
Why don’t you like Christmas?
Natalie was steeling herself to blurt out whatever canned response she could come up with in a split second, but Gabe surprised her by asking instead, “What happened with your fiancé?”
“Oh.” A relieved breath escaped Natalie. “ That .” She considered his question for a moment, frowning slightly. The day she met Gabe, she’d told him that her fiancé had just broken up with her, but he hadn’t asked any questions, and she hadn’t offered any information. Now, though, she was ready to talk about it.
“I’m not sure, exactly,” she began slowly, trying to gather her thoughts. “Devin and I were together for seven years, and I thought we were happy. When he told me that we were over, I was shocked, and heartbroken, and completely devastated, really.”
Gabe nodded. “I’m sure,” he murmured, giving her hand a light squeeze. “Breakups are tough, especially if they’re out of the blue.”
The two of them had come to a pretty wrought-iron bench, and Gabe used one gloved hand to wipe the snow away before they took a seat. In the spring and summer months, this bench would overlook a lovely garden that had been planted in the middle of the town square, but right now, its branches were bare, its ground frozen—a different kind of beauty, Natalie decided. An unexpected kind.
“But that’s the thing,” Natalie said as they settled onto the bench, close enough that their legs were touching. “Was it really out of the blue, if I take a step back and look at things objectively? He had been spending more time at work and with his friends, and less time with me. We didn’t talk as much as we used to; we didn’t laugh as much. The romance was pretty much dead in the water, although I guess I figured that was normal. I mean, sparks don’t last forever, do they?”
She paused and met Gabe’s eyes. “We had become roommates, and it happened so slowly that I didn’t even realize it. And I don’t think he did, either. Devin isn’t a bad guy… I just think he wanted something more. Something better. And while I wish he had gone about things differently, I’m starting to wonder if we were really meant to be. If we were really soulmates, like I’d always assumed.”
She bowed her head, studying the last wisps of whipped cream floating on her hot chocolate. “He was my first real relationship, and I think I clung to him because I finally wasn’t alone anymore.” She shrugged. “That’s what I’ve decided, anyway. Maybe Devin has an entirely different story to tell.” Another pause, longer this time. “He contacted me today.”
Gabe’s entire body went still. Then, softly, “What did he say?”
Natalie swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “That he missed me. That he wants to talk.” She toed at the cobblestone beneath her feet. “I didn’t answer him yet. I don’t know if I ever will.” She let out a bitter laugh. “At least that’s what the logical part of me says—‘don’t answer, he doesn’t deserve to hear from you.’ But…” She trailed off with another shrug.
“But seven years is a long time to share your life with someone,” Gabe finished off with a sigh. “And part of you wants to know if you can make it work.”
Natalie rubbed her temples with her gloved fingertips, trying to ward off the first signs of what promised to be a raging headache. “Yes? No? Truthfully, I don’t know. It all happened so fast, and the wound is still new.” She lifted her cup to her lips and drained the last of the hot chocolate, warmth flooding through her and settling in her stomach. Then she gave him a chagrined look. “I feel like I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. We’re supposed to be on a date here.”
Gabe’s expression was mild. “Isn’t that what dates are for? To get to know someone?” His lips tipped up in a smile. “Besides, I’m the one who asked.”
“True.” Natalie returned his smile with a crooked one of her own. Then, with a nudge to his side, she said, “What about you? I spilled my guts all over this bench, so now it’s your turn. Have you had any significant relationships?” She already knew the answer, thanks to Faith, but Natalie was dying to learn more. The more she got to know Gabe, the more she couldn’t believe that some woman had let him slip away.
“One.” The smile fell from Gabe’s face as his eyebrows drew inward. Natalie was watching him intently; now it was his turn to stare into his cup, swirling the contents as he considered what to say next. “Her name was Maria. We met on our first day of medical school—we happened to pick seats next to each other during orientation. We dated all throughout school, rotations, residencies… I really believed she was ‘the one.’”
“What happened?” Natalie asked, unable to stop herself.
Gabe’s face darkened; it was the first time Natalie had seen him upset. “What happened is that my father got sick. My mother had been battling cancer for years and was too weak to care for him. Sophie was just a toddler, and Holly already had more than she could handle between being a single parent and trying to run the café. So I made the decision to move back to Chestnut Cove. I hadn’t planned on returning… as you can see, there aren’t many job opportunities here,” he added with a flick of his hand around the town square. “But Doctor Mills was nearing retirement age, and I offered to buy him out of his practice. The rest is history. ”
Natalie waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, she prodded, “And Maria? I take it she didn’t come with you.”
“She did not.” Gabe’s gloved hands tightened almost imperceptibly around his cup. “She told me she wasn’t cut out for small-town life, that she wanted no part of Chestnut Cove, and gave me an ultimatum: my family, or her.” His smile turned wry. “Obviously you know which one I picked.”
“Wow.” Natalie rested her hand on his forearm. “That’s… brutal.”
Gabe nodded. “It was. But it also gave me a lot more insight into her character—turns out, I didn’t know Maria as well as I thought.”
They were both silent for a time after that, watching the people strolling past them. Several smiled and waved, a few gave them curious looks. Natalie mulled over everything Gabe had told her, trying to find the parallels in their stories. Her fingers grazed her pocket, searching for her phone; she’d switched it to silent before their date, and part of her was dying to know if Devin had reached out again. “Did she ever try to contact you?” she asked, turning back to Gabe. “After things were over, did she ever reach out?”
“Once.” Gabe shifted closer to her on the bench, and on impulse, she rested her head on his shoulder. “She called my practice here in town and left a message. I never called her back.” He shrugged, and Natalie’s head rose along with the movement. “What would be the point? There was nothing left to say, for either of us.”
Natalie gazed up at him—his strong jaw, his windswept dark hair, those kind eyes that currently held a hint of hurt. “Did you ever regret that?” she murmured, her mind back on Devin, on what she would—and should—do.
Gabe merely shook his head. “No, because she had already shown her true colors. Even if she wanted to apologize, or reconcile, or whatever she had in mind… it was too late, because to me, she would never be the same woman I fell in love with. Our relationship would always be tainted by what she had done—abandoning me when I needed her the most.” He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. “My parents died within three months of each other. I could have used her support, but she thought living in a place with nightlife was more important than me.”
“I’m sorry,” Natalie said. “For both of us.” She laughed softly. “Relationships suck.”
“Sometimes.” Gabe’s fingers gently stroked the ends of her hair. “But sometimes they can be wonderful, too. Opening up your heart to another person is never easy, but I’d like to think that it can be worth it.” He fell silent after that, and she spent the next several minutes listening to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart. Somewhere in the distance, a child’s laughter cut through the quiet, and the soft melody of Christmas music lifted up from the town’s ever-present carolers. To her surprise, Natalie found herself humming along.
“So did you have fun today?” Gabe asked, breaking the silence between them. His hands were still in her hair, and her head was still on his chest, and she thought, briefly, that she might be able to stay like this forever.
“I had an amazing time,” she said, and meant it. “It was truly unforgettable.”
Despite the terror that had squeezed her heart like a vise when Gabe first told her their plans, the day had been magical from start to finish. Their first stop had been to an old-timey theater on the edge of town, where they watched a marathon of classic Christmas movies over tins of hot buttered popcorn and giant sodas. Natalie had been entranced by each of them, and by the time the credits rolled on It’s A Wonderful Life , tears were streaming down her cheeks.
They’d left the theater hand in hand, then headed to their next stop: an outdoor ice skating rink that circled a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Natalie could barely walk in the skates Gabe had helped her lace up, and her first order of business upon stepping onto the ice was to fall flat on her face. When she’d finally managed to remain upright for more than two seconds, Gabe had patiently led her around the rink, her arm tucked firmly into his, as she slipped and slid and shrieked with glee, his own laughter mingling with hers in the wintery air.
“You’re the most beautiful couple,” an elderly woman had said to them as they sat on the bench outside the rink a little while later, unlacing their skates. “I can tell how much you’re in love.” She pressed her hand to her chest, right above her heart. “You remind me of what my husband and I were like when we were young. Merry Christmas to you both.”
Neither of them had bothered to correct her, because the woman’s eyes were filled with tears as she walked away. They’d merely looked at each other shyly before Gabe broke the awkward moment by announcing their next stop: a cookie-decorating class at a local bakery. The theme was Christmas—of course—and for the next hour, she and Gabe had a blast designing sugar cookies in the shapes of Santa Clauses, reindeer, candy canes, trees, stockings, and gingerbread men. They had even more of a blast eating them, Gabe teasing her when she took an enormous bite of a tree only to come away with a frosting-smeared mouth, Natalie responding by wiping a fingerful of red frosting on his chin.
Dinner had followed at a nearby restaurant, where their conversation had been easy and natural, and now they were here, on this bench, neither of them willing to end the night.
With this on her mind, Natalie murmured, “Thank you, again. You didn’t need to go through all this trouble… although I have to say, this is the best date I’ve ever had. By about a million lightyears.”
Gabe chuckled, warm and soft, filling her soul with golden light. “I absolutely did. So tell me.” His arm tightened around her. “What do you think of Christmas now?”
“Let’s put it this way,” Natalie said with a smile, pushing aside the pain his innocent question elicited. “I dislike it a little bit less than I did this morning.” She held her thumb and forefinger a millimeter apart. “Like this much, although that might be generous.”
Gabe threw back his head and laughed. “I’ll take it.”
Then he lowered his head and their gazes snagged, and in the space of several heartbeats, a hundred unspoken words lingered in the air between them, visceral, electric. Natalie’s heart was in her throat, and her pulse had kicked into a frenzy, and his eyes were locked on her lips as she shifted closer to him on the bench. The world around them faded away, the hustle and bustle of people passing by them became a blur—in that moment, only they existed.
Their lips were nearly touching, his hands were in her hair, the rest of Chestnut Cove was entirely forgotten… and then Natalie’s phone rang, shattering the silence into a thousand pieces. Red-faced, breathing erratically, she scrambled for her purse, and why exactly was she answering the phone again? Oh, right, because Gabe was trying to kiss her, because she wanted him to kiss her—desperately—and because they shouldn’t.
“Hey, Natalie, it’s Vernon,” a gruff voice said when Natalie greeted the caller on the unfamiliar number. “I just wanted you to know that I was able to pull a few strings, as promised, and the parts we needed for your car arrived this morning. I’m putting the finishing touches on everything tonight, so you can pick it up first thing tomorrow morning. Then you can be on your way.”
“Oh.” The word came out on a soft sigh, and the breathless anticipation of only a few moments ago had morphed into a dull, painful thudding in the pit of her stomach. It was time to go. It was time to leave Chestnut Cove, and Gabe… forever.
The moments ticked by in silence, Gabe’s curious gaze on Natalie’s face, Natalie’s own gaze on the zipper of her coat, because she simply couldn’t look at him right now.
“You there?” Vernon sounded puzzled. “I thought this would be good news.”
“Oh, yes… it is,” Natalie stammered. “It is good news, and thank you, Vernon. Thank you very much. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” She hung up the phone and stared down at the dark screen, her mind blank. This was how it was supposed to go, she reminded herself. Chestnut Cove was a temporary stop—a very temporary stop, because it wasn’t her final destination. It couldn’t be, because she didn’t belong here.
But oh, how she wished she did. In another time, in another life… how she desperately wished she did.
Gabe was still silent, watchful, and the electricity in the air had evaporated, because he had heard. He had understood. She chanced a glance at him, and noticed that his face was carefully blank. “I take it your car is ready?” he asked softly, so softly his words were nearly swept away into the night.
Natalie nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak. She thought of her foster family, how it would feel to turn up on their doorstep, how Jennifer and Todd Sanderson would do their best to welcome her, to make her believe she was family.
She wasn’t, though. She never would be, and that wasn’t their fault. She understood that, but it didn’t erase the sadness, or the emptiness, or the void.
“Is there any way you can stay?”
She was positive she’d heard those words, but when she looked up at Gabe, he was gazing into the distance, his eyes on the mountain peaks, the twinkling stars overhead, the inky darkness that stretched in all directions.
She didn’t answer him. Not just because she wasn’t sure he’d really spoken, but because she had no idea what to say.