Chapter Six
W ren had no idea what she was doing.
Saturday night she had been furious with Sam and had gone home to take her anger out on her punching bag, then engaged in a little stress release in the shower. After overhearing his interaction with one of the women who had dogged him on air, Wren wondered if perhaps his reputation wasn’t exaggerated. Was he getting a bad rap from women who were jealous that he’d never given them the time of day? Or was he really the dirtbag they’d made him out to be?
Either way, Sam’s leaning was seriously going to her head, especially as the scent of his musky cologne assailed her nostrils. She took a deep breath, breathing him in. This cologne was different from the Nautica one he wore in high school. She’d loved that one, too, and she remembered burying her nose in the front of his T-shirt, the same impulse she was experiencing now.
Sam dipped a little closer, that crooked grin doing unspeakable things to her insides. “If you’re up for it, we can always find out,” he murmured.
Her gaze settled on his mouth, and she wondered if he still kissed with the same deep urgency that came from knowing that each moment was timed and could be their last, or if he took things slower now, lingering with an expertise born of years of conquests.
This was dangerous. He was dangerous to her peace of mind. Here she was on a city street, in full uniform, wondering what he kissed like.
What was she thinking? She’d set up a date tonight after work to meet with a potential donor, and here she was, being taken in by her ex-boyfriend.
Wren took a deep breath and a hesitant step back. “Unfortunately, I’m on duty.”
“When do you get off?” Sam asked with a deep rumble that made her shiver.
“Not until six, but I have plans.”
“Some other time, then?” he asked.
“Even then, we shouldn’t do this.” Her cheeks burned with embarrassment and regret. Being near him was like experiencing a roller coaster of emotions. One minute, her blood pressure rose with anger, and the next, she regretted not taking him up on his offer.
“Too bad,” he said, pushing off the wall with a sheepish smile. “With everything going on, and you being newly returned to town, I thought it might be fun for us to stave off the holiday blues.”
Wren laughed. “The holiday blues? What are those?”
Sam shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m sure some people have them.”
Wren thought about meeting up with him and at the very least, enjoying his company, but Wren hadn’t come back to Mistletoe to start things up with an old boyfriend. “Well, my holidays are going to be low-key this year.”
“What about New Year’s?” Sam asked.
“I haven’t figured out yet,” she said.
“No one to kiss at midnight?” he teased. “That’s kind of a sucky feeling. If you’re cool with me standing in, I’m more than happy to take the bullet.”
Wren laughed. “That is sweet. I’m not really looking for anyone to dodge or take a bullet for me.”
“Really,” he said, stroking his chin. “Most women, especially women over—”
“Careful,” she drawled warningly.
“What? Ladies over thirty seem to be looking for someone to settle down with—”
“And I am not,” she said flatly. “I am looking for a little peace and quiet and possibly to take other steps in my future, but settling down with a man isn’t one of them.”
“Other steps?” he asked.
Why had she even alluded to her desire to have a child? “It’s nothing.” She glanced over his shoulders, eyes narrowing when a group of teens bypassed the crosswalk and ran across the street. “I should probably get back on patrol. You know, lots of people shoplifting toothpaste and jaywalking.”
“Yeah, you should get right on that.”
Wren and Duke walked around him, but they only made it a few steps before he called after her.
“Before you go . . .”
Wren stopped and turned. “What?”
“You know what, never mind.” He backed away from her, hands in the air. “It was nothing.”
She started to move but hesitated, swallowing hard. “Sam?”
He paused, watching her expectantly. “What’s up?”
“I really am sorry about last night.” Her stomach twisted painfully, and Duke, as if sensing her discomfort, nuzzled her hand. “You know I didn’t come back to town to wage war with you over things we did when we were both kids. I’m just trying to find somewhere I belong.”
Sam nodded. “I understand that. We should just chalk it up to being two young people, wrong place, wrong time. Romeo and Juliet. Not meant to be.”
“I get the picture,” she said softly.
“There is one thing that’s always bothered me,” he said, watching her so intently that she started to squirm. “When your dad showed up at my house and threatened to have me thrown in jail if I didn’t stay away from you, I was willing to go against him and take the chance. Why weren’t you?”
Wren swallowed. “I guess I thought what we had wasn’t worth you going to jail for. I didn’t want to put you through that, especially when the whole reason he came after you was my fault.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
Wren couldn’t tell him she didn’t want to go back to that moment. It was over.
“He read my diary and found out we were sleeping together,” she lied. “If I hadn’t written about it, then he wouldn’t have been able to use it against you.”
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think your diary would’ve held up in court, especially considering we’re only a year and eight months apart in age.”
“It didn’t matter. My dad would’ve figured out some way to punish me if he couldn’t get to you.”
“That sounds healthy,” he muttered.
Wren shrugged. “He loves me, but he wanted me to make the right choices.” She tapped her shield with a smirk. “I got one thing right.”
“How is your dad doing?” Sam asked, his eyes sparkling. “Still hate me?”
“I don’t know, you’ve probably seen him more than me, but if I had to guess, no. I doubt he hates you. Hell, he’d probably be thrilled if I brought you home.”
“Why is that?”
“He hasn’t quite gotten used to the new me. Single. Independent. Back-talker.”
Sam grinned. “Ah, gotcha. Now I understand his loathing for me. I always talk back, even when I shouldn’t.”
“Shocker,” Wren deadpanned.
“I know, right? As far as seeing him, he mostly keeps to himself since he’s retired.”
“I see.” Wren could just imagine her dad hanging out on his property in the woods like the Mountain Man of Mistletoe, hiding away from the world. He didn’t used to be so bitter, but after her mom took off and all his kids left home, he’d seemed to withdraw from everyone, even Luke. He was her oldest brother, who’d followed in her father’s law-enforcement footsteps, except he became Idaho State Police instead of a county sheriff. While Wren had gone off and taken positions in big cities, Luke had stayed in Idaho and made his career here. Wren assumed her father had heard about her sporadic visits over the last two decades, but besides a hug and a “glad you’re home,” he barely strung a few sentences together, even during their family lunches on Sunday. She’d made it to nearly every one, and they hadn’t seemed to get any less strained.
“Well, my dad’s always been kind of hard to read,” Wren said.
It was true. Her dad kept his feelings close to the breast, but he hadn’t treated her differently than any of her brothers until high school, when she met Sam. It seemed that having a boyfriend had finally woke him up to the fact that she was a girl, and that’s when their relationship changed. Wren had left after high school in hopes that time and distance would heal the rift between them, but as more time passed, the harder it was to come home. It wasn’t until everything in her life had lost meaning that she’d finally tucked tail and dragged herself back home. Even then, it had been less like the prodigal daughter returning and more like an inconvenient truth.
“How are your parents doing?” Wren asked.
“They’re doing fine, living in a warmer climate, and forgetting they have any children or a grandchild,” he said.
Wren frowned. “I’m sorry, that sucks.”
“It is what it is. Life can’t be perfect, right? If it was, nothing bad would ever happen, and we’d never grow and learn.”
“What did you learn from having distant parents?”
“How to not be like them?” Sam shook his head. “Life can still be great. My brother and I had each other, and with Jace and Merry...we built our own family.”
Wren’s heart squeezed. That is what she wanted. To have a child and to create a life for the two of them. To be the kind of mother she wished she’d had.
“I’m glad we talked,” Sam said, his expression somber. “When I heard you were back, I wasn’t sure if you’d even want to talk to me.”
“I figured the same. We didn’t exactly end on the best of terms.”
“Maybe we can start over on better ones?” Sam said.
“I’d like that,” she said.
Sam chuckled. “Although, if you’re ever looking for someone to do a lot less talking with, I’m here for that, too.”
Wren smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“I better let you go protect the masses.” He gave her a little salute. “Enjoy the rest of your day. Nice to meet you, Duke.”
“You, too, Sam.”