Chapter eight
I stood in the loungeroom of the small cabin and shivered. The slight chill in the air from the rain was not so good with my wet towel and swimwear.
“Go and have a warm shower, Rose, before you catch a cold,” Nathan said softly. He led me to a bathroom and got me a fresh white towel out of the linen cupboard. But instead of leaving me to shower alone, he just stood there watching me, making me feel self-conscious and more than a little nervous.
“What do you want, Nathan?”
“A shower. I’m a little cold myself.”
“But...” I went to protest.
“Just leave your swimmers on if it bothers you that much. We are adults, not everything is about sex.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little silly. “Of course not, but with you the way you are, you can’t really blame me.”
Nathan shrugged. “I haven’t done anything to you yet, have I?” He turned on the water and stepped in.
“No, but you’ve wanted to.”
“You’re an attractive woman, I’m a single man...”
“You are a pig,” I cut him off as I got in the shower.
It was only small area and we were so close. I really should stop putting myself in these positions. Our bodies were pressed against one another. The warm water running over my skin only intensified the feeling running through me at his closeness. It was the most intimate thing I’d ever done with a man.
Nathan was looking at me, his eyes dark and soft, as he leaned over and brushed a piece of hair off my shoulder, pushing it slowly down my back. It was such a soft, romantic gesture, that without meaning too, I instantly went to putty in Nathan’s arms. Nathan sensed it too and a slight smile flashed across his lips.
He reached one of his hands up to the top of my head and ran it slowly down my back until it reached the small curve above my bikini bottoms. His other hand slipped behind my neck and held it softly for a moment, before slowly sliding it down my front, grazing my breasts as it went down to my stomach and fanned out to meet his other hand on my back. The movements were so soft, so unlike Nathan’s previous touches, that I couldn’t help the low moan that escaped my lips.
His hand slid up my back and returned to my neck as the water showered down on us. He pulled me closer and kissed me softly on my neck, before trailing soft, light kisses up to my mouth. Nathan kisses were light to begin with, then he deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tongue, igniting a fire in my belly. I felt Nathan’s other hand reach out for the soap, then he slowly started to rub it all over my back. I could feel him opening the clasp on my bikini top, but I didn’t want to stop him. I could do nothing but stand there, my legs wouldn’t have moved even if I had wanted them to. I didn’t even flinch when Nathan grabbed the front of my bikini top and tugged it softly down my arms, exposing my milky white breasts. I wanted his hands on me.
Still holding the soap in his hand, Nathan ran it down my front and back up to my neck. He ran his free hand back down the soapy trail he’d just made, causing me to moan again at the skin-to-skin contact. Nathan’s touch was firm and purposeful, that of a man who knew exactly what he was doing.
Nathan put the soap back on the holder and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight against his body. I felt his chest hair tickle my soft skin as he slid his hands down my back and inside my pants, resting them on my bottom.
A loud clap of thunder sounded outside and snapped me back from my trance. I gasped and in a fear reaction, I reached up and grabbed hold of Nathan’s strong arms.
“Don’t be scared, Rose,” Nathan said, his voice low and husky as it vibrated through my body. I didn’t know if he was talking about him or the thunder.
Another thunder clapped and I jumped again. I tried to let go of Nathan and step back away from him, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“I can’t do this, Nathan,” I whispered. “I’m not ready.”
Nathan sighed a low sigh and let me go. He took a step back and admired my body, lust in his eyes. I knew he wanted me and I wanted him. But I also knew he’d do the right thing... for now.
“Alright Rose, but you can’t keep doing this to me and not following through.”
I frowned. “You’re the one who keeps doing this. I’m not doing anything.”
Nathan shook his head and sighed again. “There are some clean, warm clothes in the wardrobe in the bedroom. Put them on so you don’t get a cold.”
I got out of the shower, towelled myself dry and walked into the bedroom. I wasn’t feeling guilty about putting a stop to our action in the shower but I did feel something. Was it regret? I opened the wardrobe, expecting to find clothes that other woman had left behind, but instead the robe was filled with just Nathan’s clothes. I picked out a pair of black sweat pants and a grey tee-shirt and put them on. They were miles too big, but they would keep me warm.
Nathan walked in and dropped his towel on the floor. I turned quickly, feeling embarrassed at the sight of Nathan’s impressive naked body.
“What’s wrong, Rose? Have you never seen a naked man before?” Nathan asked, a smirk on his face.
I hadn’t, not in real life, but I’m sure Nathan knew that. Instead of blushing and giving him the satisfaction he wanted, I called him a pig and walked into the sitting room. Nathan followed me out a few moments later. He was wearing grey tracksuit pants and a black tee shirt. I had only ever seen Nathan in suits, his casual attire made him look almost human.
“If this rain sets in, we might have to spend the night. I don’t want to drive home in this weather,” Nathan remarked as we both stared out the window.
The wind and rain had really picked up, I could hardly see the car in the driveway though the haze.
“It’s getting worse. Do you have any food? I’m starting to get hungry.”
“There should be, I always keep a supply of long-life food here.”
We made our way into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and saw four two litre bottles of water, two bottles of white wine, a bottle of champagne, a six pack of beer, a bottle of cola, a bottle of lemonade, and a stick of butter. I opened the freezer and found it full of frozen meats, vegetables, bread, and homemade frozen meals.
“There’s plenty of food if you want to cook something. What about snacks?” I asked as I walked over to the pantry. “Canned food, chocolate, popcorn, cereal, pasta, chips. This place is pretty well stocked. What do you want?”
“I’ll have a chocolate bar,” Nathan answered. I got out two nutty chocolate treats and shut the pantry door, while Nathan got us both a glass of water. I handed one to Nathan and we walked back into the lounge room and sat down on the soft, plush lounge.
“So how often do you bring your girlfriends up here?” I asked as I glanced around the room, taking everything in.
Nathan shrugged casually. “Never.”
“Never? I don’t believe you.”
Nathan shrugged again and took a bite of his chocolate. “It’s true. Jane comes up here every now and again to clean and bring food, but apart from that, I’m the only one who comes here. It’s my retreat away from the world.”
I was surprised by that. “Why did you bring me?”
“I thought you needed it. It’s relaxing. It’s an escape from the world, nothing else matters when I’m up here.”
“I’m already closed off from the world, what I need is to go to work and to leave the house. It takes my mind off things.”
“Please Rose, I don’t want to talk about that, not now,” Nathan said, and for once he didn’t say it in his commanding tone that he usually used on me.
I sighed, not wanting to fight either. “Fine then. What do you want to talk about then?”
Nathan smiled devilishly. “Well, talking isn’t on the top of my list of things we could be doing.”
I frowned. “There is nothing more I want to do with you.”
“If we had met under different circumstances, do you think you would be putting up such a fight?” Nathan asked as he settled back into the lounge.
I was surprised by his question, but I raised my chin. “Yes. I told you before, sex is something to be shared between two people who love each other, not something you use people for. That’s exactly what it would have been between us, no matter what circumstances we met under. You don’t love me, I doubt you even like me. I’m a challenge for you. I’m not even your type. Have you ever loved anyone?”
I knew my words had gotten to Nathan. For some reason I think he expected me to say I wouldn’t have put up a fight, that he would be someone I’d be interested in. After all, every other woman he’d met wanted to be with him. Women were attracted to him, I knew that, always. And while I was attracted to him, it just wasn’t enough for me to go against my personal morals.
“So what exactly is my type?” Nathan questioned, his tone dry. “Models? Actresses? Anything with a nice set of legs and a pulse?”
I shrugged. “Women with half a brain?”
Nathan smiled, realising I was teasing him. “Alright then, what type of man are you interested in? Prince Charming?”
I shrugged again. “So what if I am? What’s wrong with a little romance? What’s wrong with a man who will treat you like a princess, value your opinion, and love you unconditionally?”
“Rose really, you’re living in a dreamland. Relationships aren’t like that in real life, trust me.”
I looked at him, trying to read his eyes like he did to me so often. They were just as emotionless as his voice. “What do you have against relationships, Nathan? Have you ever been in one?”
Nathan frowned at me and stood up. “I’ve had enough sharing for one day. Let’s go and make something for dinner.” He walked into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the freezer.
I decided to let the conversation end. I was tired of arguing with Nathan and I was starting to enjoy his company a little. I followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar.
“Are you a good cook?” I asked as I watched Nathan put two steaks in a frypan.
Nathan smiled, his face relaxing. “I only cook when I come up here. I enjoy cooking, but you’ll have to tell me after dinner whether I’m a good cook.”
I sat and watched him crush some dry herbs and sprinkle them on the cooking steaks. I loved watching his hands. They were so strong, I could still feel his touch on my skin. I felt my cheeks flush at the thought.
“You alright, Rose?” Nathan asked, looking up from the stove. “You look a little flushed.”
“I’m fine, I could do with a drink. Do you want one too?”
He nodded. “Sure.”
I walked over to the fridge and got out a bottle of red wine, then I went to the cupboard and got out two wineglasses and poured us both a drink. Nathan took a mouthful and continued cooking, looking more relaxed with every passing minute.
“How long have you had this place?” I asked.
“A few years. I was feeling a little over the city and just felt like I needed a break. I saw this place advertised and thought, why not? I’m glad I brought it. I think I would have gone insane without some place to get away to every now and again.”
“Yeah? I didn’t picture you as the sort of guy who takes a break.”
Nathan smiled. “It’s more for everyone else. I tend to have a very short fuse when I’m tired. I only have time to spend a night up here at a time, sometimes only a couple of hours, but it’s enough for me to relax a little and unwind.”
I had noticed a change in him since we’d been here. His movements were more relaxed and his face no longer had the creases on his forehead.
Nathan finished off the cooking while I set the table. After he’d served up our food, he carried the plates over to the table where I was waiting with a smile on my face. I was beginning to enjoying myself. It had been a long time since anyone had cooked and served me dinner, apart from Jane. I’d always been the one looking after everyone else. If anything, my time with Nathan had given me a time out, to take stock of just how much time I spent on everyone else. It was nice to be the one just along for the ride.
Halfway through dinner I heard a phone ringing. “I thought you turned your phone off,” I remarked.
Nathan frowned. “I did, that’s the house phone.”
I hadn’t even noticed a phone. Nathan walked into the lounge room and picked up a small cordless phone hidden behind a stack of books. He listened quietly and I tried to read his facial expressions, but his face, like always, was unreadable. After a few moments he said goodbye and hung up.
“That was Jane. She said Charlotte’s mother just rang and Charlotte has gone into labour,” Nathan said, his voice calm.
I felt worry course through my body in an instant. “What? She’s only thirty-six weeks pregnant.”
“Her mother has taken her to Sydney Women’s Hospital. We have to get Liam and take him to the hospital.”
“Liam’s nearby?”
“Yes. Go and get changed.”
We walked into the bedroom and got changed into our clothes from earlier. I was so worried that I didn’t bother feeling embarrassed at stripping off in front of him. Nathan quickly cleaned up the kitchen and threw out the rubbish, then we both ran though the pouring rain to Nathan’s car.
Nathan took off down the winding track from the cabin to the main road. The road was wet and slippery and Nathan took the drive slowly and carefully, frustrating me.
“Can’t you drive any faster?” I asked, feeling impatient.
“Rose, it’s pouring. I can barely see the road. Just sit there and relax, we will get there as quickly as we can. There is nothing we can do for Charlotte anyway.”
After twenty minutes, we pulled up in front of a large set of gates and a high concrete fence. Nathan stuck his hand out the car window and pressed a button by the gate. A voice asked what our visit was regarding and Nathan stated who we were and why we were there. The gates opened with a smooth, but slow movement.
Liam was waiting at the door for us when we pulled up. He quickly got in the car and Nathan took off back down the driveway.
“It’s too early, Rosie, isn’t it?” Liam asked, panic heavy in his voice. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“I’m sure Charlotte and the baby will be fine,” I assured him as calmly as I could manage. Boy, I hoped they were fine.
We were all silent on the way to the hospital. I knew Liam was beside himself with worry, but I also knew that the whole situation with Nathan was playing on his mind. There was an utter awkwardness in the car.
When we arrived at the hospital, Nathan parked and Liam got out and ran though the rain to inside the hospital. I went to follow him, but Nathan grabbed me firmly on the arm.
“Nathan, what are you doing?” I asked angrily.
“Stay with me,” he replied, his voice calm.
“No! Nathan, let me go.” I tried to pull my arm free. Nathan looked at me for a moment and must have decided that he couldn’t stop me from being a part of this. He sighed and let me go. I ran inside the hospital and the receptionist told me where Charlotte was. I walked to the room as quickly as I could.
“Rose, you’re here,” Charlotte cried. “How are you?”
“Me? Don’t worry about me, Char, how are you? How’s the baby?”
“Fine, we’re both fine. Just a little early. The doctors say bubs is a good weight and there shouldn’t be any problems. The baby’s heart is strong and healthy.” A contraction started and Charlotte grabbed Liam’s hand in pain.
“Alright, this baby isn’t far off,” a midwife said.
Liam stood to one side of Charlotte and held her hand, while I dropped a kiss on her forehead. I walked out of the room and went and sat in the waiting room. They needed to do this on their own.
Nathan was sitting in one of the armchairs, his eyes closed, his arms crossed over his chest. I sat down beside him and he opened his eyes and glanced my way.
“How is Charlotte and the baby doing?” he asked softly.
“She seems good. The doctors say the baby should be alright as well.” I sighed and Nathan wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.
“Are you tired?” I asked, glancing up at Nathan. I noticed he had his eyes closed again.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Maybe it had something to do with the person you were sleeping with,” I bit out. I tried to pull out of his arms but he held me tight.
Nathan smiled sheepishly with no guilt whatsoever. “Maybe it did.”
“Who was she?” I hoped my voice sounded casual. It had been playing in the back of my mind all day.
“No one you know.” He closed his eyes again, indicating that the conversation was over.
An hour later Liam came out of the delivery room with a huge smile on his face. I stood up and walked over to him, excitement zinging through my body.
“Well?” I asked.
“A girl, Rosie. I have a little girl!” Liam gushed. I squealed in delight and gave my brother a big hug.
“A girl? I have a niece!”
“She’s healthy and strong and Charlotte is fine, tired, but fine,” Liam rattled off. “I have to go back in. Come on, come and meet her.”
I glanced at Nathan and he gave me a small, quick wave. I grinned and followed Liam into the delivery room. Charlotte was lying on the bed, baby in her arms. I went over to her and looked down at the beautiful baby girl, my heart swelling with happiness.
“Oh, she’s beautiful,” I smiled, staring down at the little sleeping bundle in my sister-in-law’s arms.
Charlotte handed the child to me. “Without you, this baby wouldn’t have her father around,” Charlotte whispered with tears welling in her eyes.
“No Charlotte, don’t say that.” I could feel myself wanting to cry. It was too emotional for me to deal with today.
“Rose, Liam and I can never thank you enough for what you have done for us, what you have sacrificed. It’s all too much, not many people would give so much for their brother, and Liam sure doesn’t deserve a sister like you.”
Liam looked at his feet, guilt all over his face. “She’s right, Rosie. I don’t know what I can say or do to make it up to you, to make it right.”
“It’s not that bad. Nathan has been good to me. He even took me shopping,” I answered lightly. I didn’t feel bitter towards Liam, nor did I hate him, more than anything I just felt sorry for him.
“We’re going to call the baby, Erin Rose Sommers,” Liam said smiling.
My middle name was Erin. “Really?” I asked, unable to stop looking down at the child in my arms. “That’s wonderful. Thank you.”
Charlotte smiled. “It’s the least we could do.”
I could feel the tears coming again. I had no idea that Nathan had been standing in the doorway watching the whole interaction.
“Rose, it’s getting late and I’m tired. We should go and let Charlotte get some rest too,” Nathan spoke up, his voice firm as he walked up behind me.
I agreed, not wanting to cause a scene and upset everyone. Liam glared at Nathan, while Charlotte looked worried. I didn’t want anything to upset this day for them.
Nathan looked over my shoulder and down at baby Erin sound asleep in my arms. He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, but said nothing. I handed the child to Liam and looked up at Nathan, silently begging him for more time, but Nathan only frowned. I knew that he was not going to give in to me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, Charlotte?” I whispered and I kissed her lightly on the forehead. I waved to them as I let Nathan lead me out of the room and out to his car.
Nathan and I got in the Aston Martin and Nathan drove us back to his house in silence. The rain had eased and thankfully he was able to drive to the speed limit. I didn’t want to spend a second more in his presence than I had to. I got out of the car before Nathan even pulled it to a complete stop and I stormed upstairs. I was so furious at him for not letting me stay at the hospital. I couldn’t even bear to look at him, he made me so angry!
Nathan followed shortly behind me, but I ignored him. “Rose, wait for me,” he called as I walked into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me. “Rose, open this door.”
“Go to hell, Nathan,” I bit out.
Nathan swore under his breath. “Rose, open this door right now,” he demanded.
“Why? So you can push me around some more? I am sick of you telling me what to do.”
“You’re acting like a child. You’re here for that exact reason. You agreed to this. Now open this damn door before I kick it in.”
Nathan was furious, I could tell by the tone of his voice. I had never heard him this mad before and fear was pumping around my body. I knew I’d pushed him too far this time.
“Leave me alone, Nathan,” I called out, trying to keep my voice firm. My voice may have been firm, but I was shaking all over. I was worried about what Nathan was going to do if I did open the door.
“I am going to count to three and if this door isn’t opened, I’m going to kick it down, I mean it.”
I winced knowing that he would. I was torn, worried what he’d do if I didn’t open the door and worried what he’d do if I did open it.
“One.”
I felt the panic coursing through me.
“Two.”
I opened the door and came face to face with Nathan. His face was flushed red and there was a furious look in his dark, dark eyes.
“What the hell is your problem, Rose?” Nathan demanded.
“You! I can’t live like this. I’ve been independent too long to have anyone tell me what to do. Tonight was the last straw.”
“YOU CHOSE TO BE HERE. I’m sick of hearing this,” Nathan yelled. He reached up to run his hand through his hair and I flinched, thinking Nathan was reaching out to hit me. I stepped back, slipped on the tiles, and landed on my backside with a thud.
“Rose, are you alright?” Nathan asked, rushing to help me up. I flinched as he reached out to grab hold of my arm. “What are you doing? Do you think I’m going to hit you?” Nathan asked surprised, his angry look replaced with one of concern.
I looked down at the floor and nodded. My backside was throbbing. Nathan let out a long sigh and sat down beside me.
“Rose, I would never hit you,” he said softly. “I would never hit any woman. I cannot believe that you think I’m capable of something like that.”
I noted the concern in his voice. “You were pretty mad,” I whispered.
“So? Rose, look at me.” He lightly took hold of my chin and lifted it so I faced him. “I may get mad, I might yell every now and again, but hit you? Rose, please. I would never.”
“We’re going to keep fighting like this, what if you just snap?”
“I’m not going to snap and we’re not going to keep fighting.”
“Yes, we are,” I answered quickly. “I just can’t live like this. If you would just trust me and give me a little freedom, I could be happy here.”
Nathan sighed. “Alright, I will relax a bit. Tomorrow you can see Charlotte, then come to work with me.”
“Really?” I asked excitedly.
“Yes, now let’s get ready for bed. I’m exhausted.” He stood up and put his hand out. I took it and Nathan softly lifted me to my feet. “Are you okay? Do you need medical assistance for your bum?” he smiled cheekily.
“I’m fine,” I smiled. The throbbing was subsiding. He dropped a light kiss on my forehead and turned and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.