Chapter 22 #2
Sarah had fully recovered and requested new responsibilities in the household.
Elizabeth agreed only after gaining the doctor’s approval and insisted that the girl remained in the upper rooms, near her.
Sarah and Libby became Elizabeth’s personal maids and Mrs. Gilford trained them for the privileged position.
The housekeeper had a particular and efficient method of running the household.
She demanded dedication, discipline and diligence and offered fairness, kindness and sympathy in return to each servant.
Elizabeth had the clearest evidence of the servants’ comfort when one day she went downstairs unexpectedly and heard the servants—together with Mrs. Gilford—talking and laughing out loud.
She withdrew in silence, content with that small yet significant change in those who had escaped from terror.
While Bingley and Jane enjoyed their blissful marriage with their own daily routine, Elizabeth spent most of the time in the library with Cece, sometimes with Mr. Gardiner and the trustees, and often with Darcy.
Her visible wounds were completely healed, though the scars in her soul were still bleeding.
She soothed them with the satisfaction of her own progress.
Each day her self-confidence, her strength and her determination grew.
But there was still no peace in her heart or in her mind, as other powerful and overwhelming feelings invaded her.
With every visit and day spent together, her admiration and affection for Darcy grew.
Weeks ago, he had confessed that his feelings and wishes remained unchanged, but had promised to put them aside.
He declared himself her friend and her support, and he had kept his promise, as always.
She often felt his gaze upon her, but in a different way than she had felt in the past. He appeared to be at ease in her company, his manners towards her uncle and Cece were amiable, even friendly, and he seemed pleased with these new relationships.
She felt that her spirit, her appearance and her behaviour had changed in the last few months and wondered what his opinion was about those changes.
And, while her own feelings for him became clearer and deeper, she was uncertain of his.
Furthermore, she struggled to avoid such reflections.
She could not even consider bonding herself to another man, even to one who she admired, respected—and was slowly falling in love with, day by day, moment by moment.
Because love must be what she felt every time she saw Darcy—the joy, the racing heart, the tightness in her chest, the butterflies in her stomach. She had never felt any of these things before, so she could not be certain. But it must be love—what else could it be?
At times, through the long, lonely nights, when sleep betrayed her, she reflected on how it could have been if she had met Darcy again in London before her engagement to Lord Barrington.
Or at least, if she had waited longer before accepting the earl’s proposal—as her uncle had suggested—until Bingley returned to town.
With her sister married to Bingley and her reconciliation with Darcy, her feelings for him would have certainly been the same, but her life would have been so different!
It was all a matter of luck. Or misfortune. With bitterness and irony, she considered that she had gained an enormous fortune, due to an enormous misfortune!
It was too late for such useless musings. She accepted the outcome of her decisions and struggled to rise to the expectations of those who trusted her.
She was aware of the gossip spreading around the town about her relationship with Darcy.
With honesty and embarrassment, he confessed to her the awkward scene that had occurred at the gentlemen’s club.
She asked him to convey her deepest gratitude to Lord Matlock and the viscount, for defending her reputation.
Not that she gave the matter much consideration.
The opinion of strangers meant nothing to her, but she was concerned about how it would affect Darcy and his sister.
Elizabeth was ashamed for exposing the Darcys to such rumours, while he felt guilty for the distress it had caused her.
Each of them seemed more preoccupied with the other’s well being.
This could only be a further sign of their strong friendship, or the deepest love.
Undoubtedly, the rumours were started by Lord Barrington’s closest friends, in their attempt at revenge against Darcy.
To them, he was the enemy, the man who stood between them and the money they claimed to deserve.
Elizabeth was of little consequence—a naive woman who had found herself thrown into the middle of a fortune that overwhelmed her.
However, the situation was assisted by the presence of Mr. Gardiner and Bingley at the gentlemen’s club, while they were waiting for Darcy.
Darcy had invited Bingley and Mr. Gardiner to his club several times.
At first, Elizabeth and her family wondered about his choice, considering he had an entire house where he could entertain guests.
Eventually, Mr. Gardiner shrewdly guessed the reason: Darcy was publicly exposing his friendship with Elizabeth’s closest relatives, to show the depth of his relationship with the family and the legitimacy of his involvement.
In a fortnight, the truth about Lord Barrington’s behaviour and his wife's sad circumstances during their short marriage had reached all the families of consequence that remained in town for the summer. At the club, at the modiste, at the private parties, the subject was amply debated. The argument between Blackmore, Lord Matlock and Darcy at the club; Lady Matlock’s disgust that had been publicly expressed; the trustees’ approval of Lady Barrington; all weighed more than the malicious gossip.
Consequently, Elizabeth began to receive cards—both from gentlemen and ladies. However, she had no intention of engaging in any sort of social activity. She was still uncomfortable leaving the house, embarrassed by the scars she still felt, although they had become invisible to others.
Lambert and St. Claire declared as much when they applied one more time to Mr. Reeves, Mr. Thorn and Mr. Hoskins, to collect the supposed debt Lord Barrington owed them.
Elizabeth remained insensitive and uninterested in the subject, counting on the trustees to solve the issues according to the law.