Chapter 23 #3
After dinner, they all moved to the drawing-room. There was no separation, only drinks enjoyed together.
And then, their hopes were rewarded by Cece and Georgiana Darcy playing together.
Elizabeth sat on one sofa with the colonel next to her, and the Bingleys on another. Darcy was sitting on an armchair.
As the ladies began their entrancing performance, recollections invaded Elizabeth again, so powerful that her eyes moistened.
She remembered that very moment when she had listened to Cece playing for the first time and reflected that only Miss Darcy’s talent could compare.
At that time, she had assumed that Cece and Georgiana would never meet, and playing together was unthinkable.
Once more she had been wrong in her assumptions.
In front of her, the most unlikely sight was unfolding in perfect harmony.
Two young women of stunning beauty and amazing talent—one blonde with bright blue eyes, from one of the oldest British families, the other one with dark skin and dark eyes, with no family—bonded by their talent and by the superior understanding and character of a remarkable man.
The man whose worthiness she discovered more of every day, who granted her his affection although she did not feel she deserved it and whose love—once rejected—she was now yearning for, without admitting it even to herself.
The evening lasted until close to midnight, as none of them was willing to end it.
Elizabeth remained silent most of the time, troubled by her confusing feelings.
Every pleasant moment was shadowed by a sorrow she could not completely defeat.
Memories she struggled to bury burst out when she least expected them and instead of enjoying the improvement in her life, she kept worrying about the tragedy that it could have been if she had not been saved, if her husband’s accident had not occurred …
if, if, if. The remembrance of the past was still stronger than any joy of the present.
“Lady Barrington? Elizabeth?”
She startled and noticed Cece in front of her. The guests had just left and the Bingleys had retired for the night.
“Yes?”
“Are you unwell?”
“No, not at all. Only a little bit preoccupied.”
“I wish to thank you, if only I could find the words to express my gratitude.”
Elizabeth gazed at the young woman in utter surprise.
“Thank me? Whatever for? It is I who should thank you for making our evening such a delight.”
“No, ma’am… I mean, Elizabeth. Can you not understand what you have done for me?
Lord and Lady Sedgewick offered me love, care, education and support and I would have gladly given my life for them and it still would not have been enough to repay them.
But you have offered me the feeling that, for the first time in my life, I matter in the world outside this house.
That my existence is not meaningless. That I am worthy of being recognised and being appreciated.
That I am not just a provider of good company, that could not be exposed outside the family. ”
Tears shone in Cece’s eyes and her voice was heavy with emotion. Elizabeth, taken by surprise by such a confession, failed to voice her response. She only took Cece’s hands in her own as the woman spoke further.
“Please do not believe me to be ungrateful to Lady Sedgewick. She never refused me anything I asked of her. Back then, I was certain I did not need anything more. That I did not deserve more. I was content with what I had, as I knew it was much, much more than someone in my situation could dream of. And then you came and granted me your friendship and showed me not just affection, but consideration. Tonight I did not feel tolerated. I did not feel you wished to ‘show’ me to the guests. I felt part of the gathering. You have enhanced my life in a way that I cannot describe! That is more that can ever be repaid.”
The young woman ceased to fight her tears, which prevented her speaking further. Elizabeth embraced her and held her tightly for a while, before finally answering.
“My dear Cece, I shall not even pretend I can understand your torment. I did nothing but what I felt and I never considered I might have acted differently. I am privileged and grateful to call you my friend and you are as dear to me as my sisters. That is all.”
“Yes, indeed. That is all—that is how you are, Elizabeth. You don't even realise the extent of the changes you have brought into our lives—mine, Sarah’s, Libby’s and everyone else who you have saved.
Fortunately, those who love you can see your true worthiness very clearly.
Good night, Lady Barrington. Elizabeth.” Cece concluded, then rushed to her room, defeated by her emotions.
Elizabeth remained standing in the middle of the hall, stunned.
A short distance away, Sarah and Libby were waiting for her, while the other servants cleaned the dining room under Mrs. Gilford’s supervision.
She forced a proper smile as she said good night and slowly climbed the stairs, with the two girls following her—their mistress.