Chapter 7 - Can’t stop thinking about the forest
Leon
I'm surprisingly calm stepping into the Insta-worthy bistro to meet Rebecca. While this is my first official date in over five years, I have no anxiety seeing that I couldn't possibly top off the embarrassment of my last "date".
My mind goes to Dex and, not for the first time this month, I scan the restaurant in hopes of seeing a tall, dark silhouette that makes my skin electrify.
No such luck. My eyes drop to the small woman wearing a soft pink dress instead.
Her hair is a medium shade of brown with loose curls around her face, light make-up with mascara and soft-looking pink lips.
I take a moment to look at her before she sees me, and appreciate her good looks.
She stirs absolutely nothing in me though, not one single emotion.
But I know that sexual attraction is rare for me on looks alone, so I push down the disappointment and pull out the chair across from her.
Her eyes finally lift from the menu and a soft smile spreads across her lips as she scans me.
I realize she reminds me of Jen and wonder if that's why my cousin set me up on a blind date with her.
She strikes me as calm from the first moment, steady in a bordering boring way and while that would normally put me at ease, it actually makes me hot with annoyance at the thought of Jen and how she walked out of my life.
I have given her way too much thought during the past month, since I realized that I wasn't actually to blame for the break-up.
Guess she didn't sign up to be with a PR assistant in the end.
I push those thoughts aside quickly, since I'm not actually sitting across from Jen and the woman across from me doesn't deserve the negative feelings running through my head.
"Hi Rebecca, it's nice to meet you!" I say in the cheeriest tone I can muster.
"Nice to meet you too, Leon." She says with a soft smile. "I'm happy Liam thought to introduce us, but I was a bit nervous. Believe it or not, this is actually my first blind date!"
My nerves leave me slightly when I can easily return the smile, "No need to worry, this is a first for me as well and I'm probably just as nervous.
Not sure how much my cousin told you, but I came out of a long relationship not too long ago and have been doing some self-introspection lately.
I'm not sure how you were hoping for this to go.
.." I hesitate slightly before finding the right words.
"I'm not sure I'm in a place to start dating, but am happy to try for friends first, if that works for you? "
She seems to mull over my words before she replies, "Can't say I'm not a bit disappointed, but I expect nothing from you, so you can relax.
Liam hinted at this a bit, but it would have been helpful to know the full details.
Having said that, I think this might be a good thing, seeing as this is a first for both of us, we might want to get some practice and be comfortable for the next one. " She finishes on a giggle.
The last nerves leave my body and I relax in my chair, having just realized I was still somewhat sitting on the edge of my seat, as if expecting to bolt. I pick up the menu and decide on a simple club sandwich before going back to her.
"You reminded me of something my friend Ryan said about getting some practice in."
"Seems like a smart guy." She gives me a quick wink.
"That he is." I say and settle in for a pleasant meal.
We end up talking for two hours, although it's mostly her who carries the conversation.
She tells me about her college days and how she chose to be a librarian, struggling to find work in New York, but loving the buzz of the city against the quiet of her job, how happy she is to be hosting a Youth reading group in the library for a public high school in the neighbourhood.
The more she talks, the more convinced I am that Ryan should be the one sitting here instead of me.
I'm also one hundred percent convinced that she and I will remain friends at best, if not acquaintances.
She is a pleasant person, but does not stir a strong desire in me to see her again.
I make a mental note that if we do end up being friends, I will definitely introduce her to Ryan.
The melodic sound of her voice as she recounts one of her favorite teens, a small geeky guy by the name of Hudson, who knows more about Lord of the Rings than probably J.R.R.
Tolkien himself, I am transported to the middle of the forest we used to hike in when I was young, close to my hometown in upstate New York.
The warm light filtering through the trees, the wind soothing on my skin, sounds of birds chirping in the air and the deep green foliage of the trees.
I daydream about dark green eyes that penetrate with their gaze, until I feel goosebumps on my arms. Rebecca snaps me back to real life when I register her next words.
"It's been fun, but I think I'll call it a night." She signals the waiter for the check and I become slightly embarrassed when I realize she probably could tell the conversation was no longer holding my interest.
I respectfully decline to split the tab, give the waiter my credit card and then walk her the few short blocks to her apartment.
The brief hug she gives me is something akin to what an aunt would give her nephew and then she hurries inside without a backward glance.
I can't even feel awkward about this since the interest on my part was non-existent.
I call an Uber to take me home and sigh with regret that it's nightfall and the botanical garden is closed.
I could really use getting lost through the plants and torturing myself a bit more tonight.
The apartment is quiet when I get home, no sirens coming from the street for once.
I start watering my ficuses, then my hanging pothos and my aloe, finishing with my prized Peace lily that's currently in bloom.
I keep her in my bedroom, where she can get more indirect sunlight from the smaller window than she would in my living area.
I was so happy when we moved to this apartment and saw all the natural light that my plants would benefit from.
Luckily, my love of potted foliage was not one of my annoying habits, according to Jen.
The PS4 that currently lives in my hallway closet however, was a bad habit according to my lovely ex, so in a defiant act to no one, I start pulling it out to connect to the TV.
I settle in with the controllers and fire off two quick texts:
[To Liam
Appreciate the setup bro, but it didn't work out. Think we'll be friends only, but thanks for thinking of me.]
[To Ryan
Up for some late-night gaming?]
Liam reacts to my text with a thumbs up emoji and I happily deflate that he has no follow-up questions.
Ryan replies with a [Hell yes!] and then lets me know he'll be over in twenty. Although I ate not too long ago, I get up and make some snacks with some cheese, deli meats and pickles on rosemary crackers. I know a hockey player’s appetite knows no limits and while Ryan is still in off-season, he doesn't indulge much outside of meal prep.
As I'm finishing setting up the small platter, a knock comes to my door and I'm happy to see Ryan's giant frame standing by it.
He politely takes off his shoes and cap and leaves both in the entrance hall, after which he settles on the too-small-for-two-hockey-players sofa.
It's not an exaggeration to say Jen was half his size.
He sinks in with an arm draped over the couch and immediately gives me his full attention.
I tell him all about the date with Rebecca and he listens patiently without interrupting while I describe her and what she told me about her life.
I can see a spark of interest in his eyes, but know he will not make any moves against brocode, so I take care to really emphasize how there was nothing there for me in terms of attraction and never will be.
"But it was good practice?" As always, my friend finds the bright side.
"Of course, once we got the awkward expectations part out of the way, I really mellowed out and enjoyed the conversation.
But I know it's not always going to be this easy and that Rebecca made it better since she shared the same nervous energy about blind dating.
I actually think you guys would really hit it off! " I say testing the waters.
"Nah, dude. I couldn't take your lady friend on a date." As expected, Ryan backs out. I know not to push, but I make a note to mention her again to him another time, once the dust settles on our date. I realize I don't even have her number, but I can probably get it from Liam anytime.
"Ok, no worries. Let's play, yeah?"
We spend the next hour in complete bliss and I laugh so hard my abs hurt.
I can't remember the last time I did something so fun.
Once we both simmer down and put the controllers on the coffee table, I make sure to ask Ryan what's going on with him.
He talks about practice and some crazy shit Mark said today, while I sit content that he's made another good friend that he can share hockey with, now that I'm no longer playing.
"You should come watch practice sometime." He surprises me by saying.
The resentment I felt years ago simmers just beneath the surface, but I push it down quickly.
"Maybe, yeah. I would like that. We're just busy now with the gala, but will try to make it over one day." I tell him with newfound confidence.
"Good, good." He gives me one of his lazy smiles. "And what about your birthday? Isn't it the next day?"
"Yep," I say, popping the P. "I'm not doing anything this year though, so I can focus on the event."
He gives me a mischievous smile and whispers, "We'll see," before getting off the couch and grabbing his shoes from the hallway. "Gonna head out, but this was really fun. Let me know when you want to do a repeat." He half-yells back at me.
"Will do, bro. Get home safe!" I walk him out and lock the door behind him.
Once the now empty platter is put away in the dishwasher and I tidy up the living room, I head over to bed feeling fully relaxed and content from the time spent with my friend and vow to do this with him more.
I don't stress about the veiled threat for my birthday, the team will be joining the gala anyway, so he will probably be too tired the next day to think about me.
Without thinking too much about it, I drift off to sleep and dream of getting lost in a deep forest.