Chapter 11 #2
“Shut up before I crush a perk and put it in your cup,” Nel said while Vello laughed and Shio shook his head.
“Like I was saying… this nigga was full of the perky erkys, and Jisei fucked ’round and popped a bad batch.
Shit was all bad. Thought they was gonna kill this nigga.
Anyway, they married now.” Nel shrugged like he hadn't just told me a whole-ass urban fiction storyline in less than three seconds.
Ezio, with his mug on, looked like he wanted to knock Nel’s ass out. He’d just been laughing, but I guess the memory of what went down had him in his feelings.
“And my brother here, fell in love with orphan Annie. Come to find out, she was married to the other mobster, who so happens to be our ally, and the nigga takes it in the ass. They got a divorce, though, and now… my brother expecting twins by a bitch he really slick can’t afford.
It’s cool. I can lend you loan or sum’n, Twin.
” Nel laughed before coughing—an indication that he’d swallowed too much smoke.
Vello didn't take his identical twin's words to heart. Instead, he smirked and flipped him the middle finger. “I can afford my bitch and yours, too, nigga. Better ask about yo’ big brother.”
“Oh, and his pregnant girlfriend is also Essex’s baby mama. First baby mama, that is. You know what they say about the BMs and BDs…” Nel kept stirring the pot, and at this point, I had chuckled a few times.
“Shut the fuck up, Nel! Yo’ messy ass telling everybody business but yo’ own. Tell Tune how you fuckin’ on yo’ cousin.”
“Oh, hell nawl! On God?” I blurted in disbelief. My head was whipping back and forward between all four of these niggas. I didn’t know what the fuck Shio had dragged me into, but this shit was entertaining as fuck.
“And that same gay mobster, who is a Don that he’s talking about, is about to be his father-in-law. The nigga lived in his house for like six months straight.” Vello grinned, knowing he’d poked a bear.
“Nigga! You got me fucked up! I lived in his house on the other side of the compound while fuckin’ his daughter every gotdamn night. Get that shit right.”
“So… you do fuck with yo’ cousin?” I asked, and the room went silent.
I tried to remember if I saw him interact with anybody at the Sniff-and-Sip, but came up short. I wasn’t watching niggas love connections; I was trying to put faces with names and feel the mob out. Plus, Glow may have caught my eye a time or two. She was just too fucking pretty. How could she not?
“Don’t listen to these niggas. She is not my cousin!” Nel yelled out.
“Well, why her last name Cuppacio and y’all ain’t got married yet?” Ezio challenged.
“And why she on all our baby pictures?” Vello was cracking up while Nel was pissed.
“Ezio, you a crack smokin’ shit starter—you fuckin’ zombie.” Nel faced me. “Okay… so we thought she was our cousin—”
“All hell nawl! What da fuck?” I shrieked.
“Nigga, listen to the full story before you judge! We grew up as cousins, but her Cuppacio daddy used to pimp her mama’s twat out. So, Pia turned out to be fathered by a different man.”
“So, her mama had sex with the gay Don?” I was trying to make sense of all this shit, but I was too damn high and it all was too damn much.
“Yeah. It's a long story, but come to find out, none of Niccoli’s children were actually his. One is by the gay Don, and the other is by our Don’s uncle, Reuchie.
That Matteo nigga is Pia’s little sister’s big brother.
You gotta keep up with this shit nigga… we deep as fuck with a shit load of trauma and problems. But…
I ain’t fucking my cousin.” Nel waved dismissively.
“Nah. You fucking yo’ used to be cousin,” I added.
Everyone roared in laughter, even Shio.
“Aye, let’s take it from the top,” Essex’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker. The engineer pressed a series of buttons, and the beat started over.
This rap shit too close to cap shit
I fuck with killas that will wipe you off the map and shit
I know niggas that’s really ’bout that trap shit
Movin’ bricks by the boats and stay strapped and shit
Yo’ main bitch? Real whack shit
Pussy dry, gotta spit and slap the shit
Follower-ass nigga always trying shit
I’m the nigga that do the crime and the time and shit.
“We really give that nigga some shit to rap about!” Nel boasted, eyes now red
as fuck from getting too fucking high.
“He be spitting our lives on the track. Just know, if we get a Rico from him telling our fuckin’ business over instrumentals, I’m turning into Woody. I’ma be on the phone with Pia like I’m Thug. You niggers going down alone.”
“Fall back up off my nigga. You act like he wasn't in the field right with our asses,” Ezio defended Essex.
“I believe yo’ snitching ass too. You be on the phone with Pia telling her all our business, and you ain’t even locked the fuck up. Y’all be on the phone in the same fuckin’ house, just gossiping.”
Nel held up a middle finger in response.
These niggas were worse than my brothers and me.
I had half a mind to tell Shio fuck no when he told me he was introducing me to the Cuppacios.
I’d been in Jagoda Bay for a hot minute and hadn’t officially met these niggas, so I didn’t see the need.
I had too much shit I needed to do before I made a trip back home to the M.
But I tagged along after realizing that this meet-and-greet shit was a part of joining the mob.
I couldn't lie and say I’d made the wrong decision.
I’d been laughing nonstop since I walked in this bitch.
These niggas were fools, and I mean, completely ignorant as hell.
Nel played too fucking much, but that nigga was someone who made the fucking day.
You either wanted to knock his ass out or laugh with him until your fucking face hurt.
More than a few times, all the fucking teeth in my mouth had been showing like I was a bitch.
“You been mighty fucking quiet, bible boy,” Nel said, setting his sights on Shio.
Without looking up from his phone, he huffed. “Nel. I ain’t in the mood for your shit today. Ain’t you supposed to be coordinating your pending nuptials?”
“Ain’t you supposed to be coordinating—shut that shit up! That’s what the fuck I hired the wedding planner for.”
Vello moved fast, snatching Shio’s phone out of his hand. Shio’s face hardened as Vello held his phone between him and his brother. Both of them nosy-ass niggas were hovering over the screen.
“And who the fuck is you spying on? I knew yo’ quiet ass was crazy, but damn!
You stalking now?” Nel asked, his eyes not leaving the screen as his twin held it with a smirk on his face.
Now they had me interested in what the fuck it was they were viewing on Shio’s phone.
“Stalking? What the fuck going on, big bro?”
Ezio stood and hovered over the couch where the twins were sitting so that he could get a view. The studio was dimly lit, so the glow of the screen was on all of their faces. “Who the fuck you spying on, bruh?” Ezio asked with a tilted head as he rounded the couch to get back to his seat.
Shio plucked his phone from the twins’ hands, locked the screen, and stuck it back in his pocket. While Essex continued to rap, we all waited on Shio. I hadn't seen the screen, but from everyone’s verbal observation, he was watching a woman.
“I got a house guest.”
Nel grinned. “Neltz said you had some fine shit in the kitchen, eating all the chicken. I thought my young nigga was cappin’.”
“Hold up! What the fuck you mean you got a house guest?” Ezio probed, and I’m happy he did because I was curious too.
Shio rubbed his hand down his chin. “Long story short, Don set me up with a business acquaintance. This acquaintance thinks I can teach his daughter how to be a wife. She’s promised to one of the members of the Rodríguez Cartel.”
“Talkin’ ’bout the ruthless Rodríguez Cartel? The muthafuckas they say the Mexican version of our dead-ass daddies?” Vello asked for clarification.
I didn’t know who the fuck the Rodríguez Cartel was, but with the look of disgust on everyone’s faces, I take it that the Cuppacios weren't a fan.
“Yeah. Them. I have one of their fiancées in my crib. Her daddy wants her to get prepared before he hands her over to them.”
Confusion plagued everyone’s faces, including mine.
“Wait a damn minute…” Nel chuckled. “Ion follow. So the nigga who have yet to secure a wife is teaching a hoe how to be a wife? You better off teaching her how to swallow.”
I shook my head, holding back my laugh. This nigga had no home-training.
“Nel, this ain't even that type of party.” Shio sighed, and for the first time today, I could see how the quiet shit was Shio’s way of thinking through his current predicament. “The most I can do is help her not get herself killed on the honeymoon."
Vello whistled. “Shit, what ’bout after the honeymoon? Those crazy-ass Mexicans just might sell her ass off to some unheard-of country if it means they can get something out of it. At least that's what I heard. I never seen none of ’em before.”
Nel kissed his teeth and leaned away from his brother. “That’s cuz you ain’t got no fuckin’ passport. You barely seen Jagoda Bay.”
“I do got a fuckin’ passport, nigga. My bitch well-traveled. Soon as she drop them loads, we on the jet. And if I didn’t have one, I could just use yours, Twin. We identical, remember?”
Nel held up a middle finger before looking back at Shio. “So. You got a broad that you gotta take care of now? What the fuck kind of shit do they have you tied to? Shit, you may as well say that’s yo’ hoe.”
“I don’t know what the fuck going on, to be honest. But she not mine,” Shio declared in a sharp tone.
“You got a bitch that you can't give no dick?”
Shio squared his shoulders. “I ain’t trying to fuck that girl, Nel.”
“You got a dime that you ’bout to give all yo’ time.”