Chapter 18
Solana Damita Ledesma
Since the engagement party, I’d been on a cloud of funk.
I’d missed the not-so-surprise engagement and the surprised laboring start, but I received messages from the ladies with videos and pictures.
I hadn’t given out my contact information, but since they were affiliated with the mob, I’m sure my number wasn’t hard to acquire.
I was added to a group chat that had been quiet since the night of the engagement.
That night, I went back to Shio’s home solo.
I felt too beautiful to change, so I got in my zone while lying in bed fully clothed.
I didn’t want Shio disturbing me, so I locked and barricaded the door as I had many times before.
He hadn’t bothered me, though, which was his usual memo as well.
Yo era simplemente una extranjera (I was simply a foreigner).
For the past week, I had been sulking. My daily activities were working out with Shio because he wouldn’t let me skip out, eating the healthy stuff he kept in his fridge so I wouldn’t starve, and staying up all night, lost in my thoughts, just to sleep the next day away.
Before the engagement, I’d been sleeping, but I’d also been looking forward to the time I spent around the American boy.
We’d work out and eat together, and that was enough because my cono (pussy) would quake the whole time.
Now, I did my workouts and ran right back to my room.
I felt disgusting for lusting after Shio when he had dealings with the beautiful woman, Glow.
However, I told myself today that I was bringing myself out of my coma.
I was leaving this room and seeing what the king of the castle was prioritizing. I’d keep my thoughts respectful.
Like always, I woke up well past noon. By the time I showered, fingered my curls since they still looked good despite the sweating and sleeping I’d been doing this week, and got dressed in a Skims tank dress that hugged my body down to the ankles, it was almost five in the evening.
I’d gone braless since the dress had thin straps, but it was so form-fitting that it held everything in place.
Staring back at myself in the floor-length mirror, I could see the effects of the workouts and the healthy eating.
My curves were more defined, my stomach flatter, and even though my limbs were stiff and sore most days, I looked amazing.
I’d asked Shio multiple times if he was trying to condition me for war, and each time he ignored me and continued to dish out instructions in his underground gym.
Shio was the calmest, most stern personal trainer I’d ever seen.
I mean, I’d never had one myself, but I did see them in action online and on television.
He’d show me the workout, instruct me to do it, and then go on about his business, doing his own version of the exercise.
The first three workouts were brutal; I could barely get through a set without feeling like I had to throw up, but it had gotten better.
All this week, you would have thought I was Superman with the way I was zipping through the sets like I’d been doing it my entire life instead of just a couple of weeks.
Shio was even impressed. He hadn’t voiced it, but the look on his face said it all.
Spraying Ummo all over my body until the honey fresh tobacco scent was nearly too much to bear, I took one last look in the mirror.
Seeing snot dripping from my nostrils, I snatched a piece of tissue and wiped my nose before washing my hands, grabbing my phone, and prancing out of the bedroom.
The warm notes of my perfume trailed behind me.
After our workout on Wednesday, I got back to my room to find more items in the closet.
One of my favorite addictions, aside from Skims lounge wear, was the Mexican brand fragrances I loved.
Even though I looked darker than my Hispanic lineage, I had been born and raised in Mexico City, and it was pretty much all I knew.
Among my favorites stored in the closet was XINU, a Mexican brand founded by a husband and wife based in my hometown, Mexico City.
Shio had been quiet since the engagement party too.
He would knock on the door to let me know when he was leaving, or ask me after breakfast what I wanted the next day, but that was it.
I hadn’t yet joined him at church, mainly because I wasn’t up for it, but he had been going without me.
Seeing his mother at the engagement dinner made me feel nervous because I was not one of them.
She was nice and pretty, but I only imagined the things she said about me after I walked away.
Elders in Mexico had never been kind to me, so I expected nothing different in the States.
It shouldn’t matter either way because I wasn’t here for long.
I was simply going to enjoy my time in their world because, like Shio said on the drive to the engagement party, there’s no telling when I might be this gratis (free) again.
I had yet to go into Shio’s bedroom, even though I knew where it was.
Both of our rooms were on the first floor, but his was at the end of the hall in the opposite direction from mine.
I knew because that’s where he would retreat to after our workouts.
I hadn’t even stuck my head in because he kept the door closed.
I’d only seen the rooms I had bypassed on the walk to the gym, and one of them was his office.
Shio wasn’t the type to sleep in. He went to bed late but woke up early; that much I did know because, on the days I didn’t wake up to meet him for workouts, I could hear him past my room.
Inhaling slowly, I rounded the corner and stuck my head inside his office.
Bumps formed all over my arms, and a light gasp escaped my lips.
I knew there was a chance he was in his office, but I was still caught off guard by his presence.
Sitting behind a large oak desk that held only a big Apple computer, a worn leather notebook about the size of his hands, a high-tech printer, and piles of money. Shio looked majestic.
His chocolate skin gleamed as his muscles flexed while he removed money from its pile and placed it on the machine.
Pausing in his action, he looked up at me, and I stumbled back a bit.
He’d seen me, so it was silly to try to run away.
Instead, I stepped into the doorframe fully and kept my eyes on him as he kept his on mine, not stopping his hand movements.
I couldn’t read his expression, but I was regretting coming in and intruding on him.
I was already here against his wishes, and although he’d been extremely generous with the gifts, shelter, and clothing, I didn’t want to test my luck.
The sooner he sent me back to Mexico City, the sooner I would be Mrs. Rodríguez, and I wasn’t ready for that just yet.
“Solana,” he called out in a raspy tone.
I had the simplest name a girl of my culture could have, yet the way it rolled off his tongue easily made me feel way more important than I was.
Shio and I didn’t interact much, but when I was around him, I almost felt like a person.
My father loved me that much I knew—but I knew what I was to him.
I was a woman, so that made me a pawn, a chess piece, for only his benefit.
Still, I loved the man who gave me life.
He was only doing what every other cartel and mob boss did in Mexico.
I’d learned that my duty was to my father and what he said, went.
Here in Jagoda Bay, though, I had started to feel like a human being.
Seeing these American mob women enjoy their riches in a way I never had had me wondering if all I’ve learned in my culture was falso (false).
My father let me party around Mexico City with watchful eyes following my every move, but he never attempted to better me.
Instead of pushing me to cultivate myself, he preferred that I remain out of sight.
Shio had given me free rein, but still, I’d been confined to these walls because I didn’t know what to make of this situation.
?Qué haces cuando nadie te ve? (What do you do when no one is watching?)
Seeing that Shio had yet to move his eyes from me, I acknowledged the reason for my presence. "I... I just wanted to see what it is that you were doing.”
Clearing my throat because my words came out hoarse, I swallowed the other words I’d already forgotten.
Shio continued to stare at me, letting his eyes dance from my wild curls to the bodycon lounge dress, to my manicured toes.
His face gave no indication of emotion, and yet, I felt naked.
I was happy when his eyes landed on my face again.
This felt intimate, but I was sure I was imagining it.
The most he’d looked at me in a desirable way was the night of the engagement party.
Other than that, Shio kept everything platonic.
And although I appreciated the fact that I wasn’t placed in a house with a man who creeped me out by lusting over me, a part of me wished he’d show some sort of interest. I had been desired by men all my life, but being wanted by a man of substance was esteemed.
The American boy had discipline. His body, his lifestyle, and the relationships he had with the people he loved demonstrated that.
“I’m working. You good?”
He intertwined his fingers and placed them on the desk in front of him while waiting for me to answer his question.
Another thing he always did that I hadn’t seen the men back home do was maintain eye contact when speaking.
I didn’t think I’d ever master the skill because it often felt awkward.
With him, I had no choice but to match his energy because if I didn't, he would call me out on it.
“Just wanted to check in with you…”