Chapter 7
She took a deep breath as the rage slid into panic, holding it for four seconds before letting it go. Thankfully Zoe had been serving a customer when she’d walked into Petticoat Homeware, which gave Leah time to calm down.
Not now. I do not need to panic now.
She focused on her breathing. Focused on the fact she was back where she knew the landscape and the people. Lyntacky isn’t a threat to you. Home. She’d reconnected with all the people in her life who mattered here. Not Dan, but the friends she’d had when she left, were still that for her.
Leah had always been the confident sibling, while her sister had been shy.
She’d looked out for her when people had come at them for being one of those Reynolds.
The loser family who had nothing and were no good…
or so people told them. She’d learned young to be tough. Learned to take nothing from anyone.
She didn’t want Dan Duke’s sister seeing her like this. Close to tears and shaking with anger.
He’d accused her of running away while pregnant with his child. That hurt, even as she’d told herself he could never hurt her again. Bastard. She’d felt the panic slither into her body then. Leah hated that feeling.
When you were raised as she had been, control was important, but ever since Cassie’s death, panic had slithered into her body when she least expected it. She handled it with breathing. Sometimes it worked, and at others it didn’t.
Looking at the large shelf before her, she focused on the bedcovers all stacked in a neat pile, counting each until she felt calmer. When Leah heard the door close, she was ready to face Zoe Duke. Leah had become good at hiding her feelings.
In the days since she’d been back, her old friends had folded her into their lives as much as she’d let them.
Unlike when she lived here before, Leah put distance between herself and them now.
She wasn’t the same person she’d always been.
Leah was also now a single parent, which had changed her life forever.
“Leah?”
Turning at that voice, she found Birdie was in the store too.
“Birdie,” Leah said, moving closer to examine the sweet little girl in the stroller. Blond like her mother, she had on a cute purple onesie and was chewing furiously on a plastic ring.
“Hey there, Sadie,” Leah said, bending to kiss a soft cheek. “How are you doing, sweet girl?”
“She kept me awake all night, so she’s not so sweet right now,” Birdie said around a yawn.
“No way. You wouldn’t do that to your mom, would you, baby?”
It still shocked her that her friend was married to the oldest and grumpiest Duke brother. You couldn’t get two more different people.
“Bring my niece up here right now!” Zoe yelled.
Birdie rolled her eyes. “Dukes. What can you do?”
“True that,” Leah said.
Leah had changed, as had her friends, and there were big gaps in what they knew about each other now. Perhaps they’d always be there? But at least here in Lyntacky, she had people she could rely on if she needed to, which she likely wouldn’t, but it made her feel better as Hudson’s guardian.
Birdie and Leah walked to the counter, where Zoe stood rolling up a bolt of fabric.
“What’s up?” Zoe had her hands braced on the counter now and was studying Leah.
Zoe looked stunning today in tailored trousers and a white silk button-up shirt. Simple but elegant. “Your eyes look a bit off,” she added, raising an eyebrow.
“Off how?” Leah asked.
Birdie moved around the counter, leaving her baby with Leah, and stared at her too.
“Squinty eyed,” Zoe said.
“You do a bit,” Birdie added.
“I’m tired, and in case you two haven’t noticed, I have a few things on my mind,” Leah said.
Looking at Zoe reminded Leah of her friend’s brother.
Young, reckless love that had felt real to her was how she’d thought of her relationship with Dan Duke. But real hadn’t lasted. Leah should have known that would happen. Because love wasn’t for her, just like it hadn’t been for her mother or sister.
“I can understand that. How’s Hudson?” Birdie asked.
“Okay. We’re working it out. He’s teaching me stuff like how he likes the milk poured on his cereal and his sandwiches with pink mayo.”
Zoe wrinkled her nose. “Pink mayo?”
“Mayo and ketchup combined. He likes it on his sandwiches,” Leah said, relaxing.
“Eww,” Zoe said.
“Pretty much, but that’s kids for you. We have a birthday party coming up at someone called Toby Stanley’s house. You know the Stanleys, Zoe?”
Birdie leaned her weight on one hip and thought about that while Zoe got her niece out of the stroller.
“Mom’s a banker, and Dad’s in insurance.
I put new curtains in their house last year.
Good people, and a nice house,” Zoe said.
She then blew a raspberry into Sadie’s neck, which had her giggling.
There was nothing like a kid’s laughter to make a person smile.
Even one who didn’t have a lot to smile about.
“They’d be good influences on Hudson,” Zoe added.
Yet more proof that coming back here had been the right thing to do. Her friends knew everyone in town, and if they didn’t, likely knew someone who did. Leah could keep Hudson safe here.
“What gift are you getting this Toby?” Birdie asked.
“Oh god, I need to, right?”
Her friends nodded, and Leah thought about her dwindling bank balance. She had funds, had saved for years, but she wanted to spend the bulk of that on their future. “How much do I need to spend on a gift?”
“Not sure, but I’ll ask Brody. He’ll know,” Birdie said. “Now I want to know why you’ve been avoiding us.”
“I haven’t been back long enough to avoid you,” Leah protested. “I’m settling in, Birdie. Making a home for me and Hudson. I can’t go out on school nights either.”
Her friends stared at her for long seconds.
“Okay, but you can’t keep refusing, because we’ll win,” Zoe said.
“I’m going to ask Linda for a few shifts in the Do-Si-Do,” Leah said to change the subject.
“You could come work here if you like,” Zoe offered. “I need help.”
“I know nothing about interior design and am hopeless with money and peopling these days.”
“Don’t you have to do exactly that in the diner?” Birdie asked.
“I know that place. It’s easy.” She waved the words away. “Remember, I’m a Reynolds, Zoe. Don’t forget that. We’re hardly Lyntacky’s first family.”
“And what?” Zoe asked.
Leah wanted to shuffle her feet but instead said, “We’re not really well-liked in Lyntacky—”
“Bullshit,” Zoe said. “That’s in your head and no one else’s.”
“You need to let that go,” Birdie said softly. “I’m a McAllister—”
“Was a McAllister,” her sister-in-law said.
“Was, but my point is, people move on, and so do we. Let the past stay there, Leah,” Birdie advised.
She wanted to laugh at that. The past had defined her. It had given and taken away from her. She was living in the past on her family’s land. The only thing she’d got from her name was a farm with run-down outbuildings and a house that was barely habitable, which she knew was more than some had.
Leah clenched her fingers into fists and released them. “The diner will be fine for now, Zoe. Don’t worry about me.”
“How’s your uncle? My memory is scratchy, but I remember he was pretty cool,” Birdie asked changing the subject as if sensing Leah’s tension. “He used to bring you presents.”
“Uncle Callum, and yes, he’s awesome, but he’s always traveling. I haven’t seen him for a while. I don’t even know where he is, so I couldn’t tell him about Cassie.”
She’d left him a letter though, so hopefully he’d get that and come and find her and Hudson. Leah would love to see her uncle again.
They were interrupted as the door swung open.
“Do not enter without coffee!” Zoe barked at Sawyer, who walked in.
Leah watched his face transform from a scowl to a smile as he saw Birdie and Sadie. He came to the counter and lowered the tray of coffees. He then took his daughter from Zoe and kissed her cheek before wrapping an arm around Birdie and doing the same.
“Hey!” Zoe said.
Sawyer kissed her next and then Leah.
“Your brothers.” Leah sighed, watching as Sawyer tossed his kid into the air. The man wore worn jeans and a Henley shirt with a ripped sleeve. “Haven’t lost their looks with age.”
“Gross,” Zoe whispered, and they watched him laugh with Birdie as Sadie giggled again.
“They are definitely not gross,” Leah said, her eyes still on Sawyer as she told herself the pain in her chest was not jealousy.
“Lucky I brought three coffees because you’re always gossiping with someone in here, Zoe. I’ll go get another one for me. How are you, Leah?”
“I’m good, thank you, Sawyer, and I don’t need a coffee.”
“I still can’t work out if I prefer you grumpy or happy,” Zoe said, taking her drink.
“Oh, happy,” Leah said. “This is a great look on you, Sawyer, and you’ve made my old friend happy. Plus, you’re an awesome daddy.”
The smile slipped slightly. “I’ll be honest, knowing what an asshole me and my brothers were, it’s daunting, Leah. What if Sadie wants to do some of the things we did?”
“We’ll work it out,” Birdie said, patting his arm. “It won’t happen tomorrow, Sawyer. We’ve got time, and we’ll be ready.”
“Tell me about it,” Leah said. “This parenting stuff is hard.”
“How’s Hudson doing?” Sawyer asked.
“He’s okay and making friends at school.” And every day I’m scared that I’m doing something wrong, because I’m it, and don’t have anyone to help me. Hudson was her responsibility alone.
Leah had read twenty parenting books and still felt unqualified. Parents usually had the years when their kids were first growing up to adjust to being a mom or a dad, but she’d just stepped into the role, and it was terrifying.
“Well, that’s good, then. How’s the house treating you?” Sawyer asked. “Place hasn’t been touched since your dad went away. You settling in okay?”
She tensed again.
“Shit,” Sawyer said. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring him up.”
“It’s fine,” she lied. “Really, Sawyer.” Leah touched his arm.
“I’m starting to get the house in shape now.
” At least that wasn’t an outright lie. She was making it a home for her and Hudson, even if the roof still leaked, and the place was run down, and it would take years to fix.
“My dad was a hoarder, so there is going to be a big bonfire soon.”
“We’d like to help you with that,” Birdie said.
“We talked about this at breakfast. I don’t need your help, but I’ll let you know if I do,” Leah said.
Three Dukes subjected her to their stares, their faces showing differing degrees of frustration.
Leah had often been pleased they’d chosen to like her, because you really didn’t want to have them as your enemy—well, not Zoe and Sawyer, at least. Birdie was a pussycat.
“Here’s my problem with that,” Zoe said. “You won’t ask, and then you’ll suffer, trying to sort things that go wrong out for yourself.”
That was true, but she didn’t acknowledge it, instead changing the subject. “Actually, I want to ask you guys something, and please be honest.”
“We’re always honest,” Sawyer said, which had his sister and wife howling with laughter.
“Okay fine.” He raised a hand. “If a lie will help me get one over a sibling, I’ll take it, but I’m honest with everyone else.” He looked at Sadie. “I’m pleased she doesn’t understand any of this yet.”
“What did you want to ask us?” Zoe said.
“I’m going to grow some produce in the shade houses. I did an online market gardening course, and—”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
“I’m not sure why I would, or when, for that matter,” Leah said to Birdie. “I did it the first year I left, and I wasn’t really sure why, as I lived in the city, but it’s something I’ve always felt like I wanted to do, and now I could put some of what I learned into practice here.”
“Friends tell each other stuff,” Birdie muttered.
“I’ve been gone seven years, Birdie.”
“Honey, we all know you have big emotions, but Leah will always be your friend. Things just change in friendships,” Sawyer said to his wife. “She’s back now, and that’s good, right?”
“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Zoe asked.
“What?”
“My big brother was the most unaware person I knew, and now you’re talking about emotions. It’s unsettling, I tell you,” Zoe said. “Like the earth has shifted slightly off its axis.”
“Whatever,” Sawyer said. “What help do you need, Leah?”
“Can you tell me where the best place to purchase supplies for planting is?”
“Talk to Birdie’s mom and dad. They’re all about sustainability.”
“Not everything they say makes sense, but some will,” Birdie added, hugging Leah. “I am glad you’re back, but now you have to tell me stuff, okay?”
“Okay,” Leah lied.
“Jed Knox grows stuff too. He’d be good to ask,” Zoe added.
As she stood there talking to her friends, Leah felt a stirring of excitement in her belly.
Growing things would be hard work, but she wasn’t scared of that.
Could she make a go of this? Maybe, but she knew that for the first time in a long while, she really wanted to try.
Part one of her dream was going to be implemented.
Part two would come when she had more money.