86. Chapter 86
Chapter 86
For the first time in a very long time, Paige was plagued with insomnia. She wasn’t surprised, since it had happened frequently when she was going through rigorous therapy sessions and dealing with flashbacks, but it still depressed her. In turn, she also became anxious that another flashback was imminent, one that would be a specific moment in time of being posed and photographed by Carter.
After a few sessions with Lauren to discuss Claire’s visit and her revelations, Paige began to feel a little better. Lauren was of the opinion that Paige was needlessly stressing herself over something that likely wouldn’t happen, especially given that all of her previous flashbacks had been to reveal enough abuse to enlighten, but not enough to be crippling. And, since Paige had been told about the pictures, that made a ‘reveal’ unnecessary, and therefore highly unlikely.
Still, for two weeks, she felt like she was on high alert, and the feeling that another part of her life was ‘owned’ by Carter weighed heavily on her, and she didn’t like it. She wanted that part of her life back, and even though Lauren wasn’t overly supportive of the idea, Paige decided to make an appointment to have some boudoir photographs taken.
David was a little hesitant, because he wasn’t sure her wanting to do the shoot was coming from an honest place. It felt like it was being fueled by Claire’s visit, and he cursed the woman again.
Paige had been a little withdrawn since the visit with Claire, more subdued and quieter than normal—and not surprisingly, less sexual. He knew Paige was working through the unsettling information she’d literally been ambushed with, and while they talked about it together, he knew she was doing the majority of the processing with Lauren.
It was hard to watch and not be able to really help, and he wondered how much harder it would’ve been to watch her deal with the molestation fallout.
“Are you sure you want to have the pictures taken?” he asked for the third time.
“Yes, I’m sure. This is how I take that part of my life back,” Paige said, slightly impatient, before adding, “You know, you weren’t like this when it came to sex. You were all in for that.”
“That was different.”
“Why? Because it was sex?”
“No. Because … I don’t know. I can’t explain it, but this just feels different. In a bad way.”
“Okay, well, if you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. I won’t force you,” she told him gently, squeezing his hand.
“All right,” he said, relieved.
“I’ll just go somewhere else and have the pictures taken.”
“No,” he immediately negated. “You’re not going somewhere else.”
On the day of the ‘shoot’, Paige only had to work a half day, but it had been a hectic six hours, and as she drove to David’s studio, the anxiety of the morning seemed to grow. By the time she was parking her car, she felt almost jittery, her heart beating fast.
Per her request to be treated like a random client, David was the ultimate in professional detachment as he made introductions. “Kim, this is Paige Clemons. Paige, this is my assistant, Kim.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Paige held out her hand to the petite, twenty-something young woman with dyed blonde hair styled in a perfect pixie cut, which made Paige want to get hers cut the same way.
Kim shook Paige’s hand with a firm grip. “Nice to meet you, too.”
Paige was then taken to a dressing room so she could touch up her make-up and get changed into the outfit she’d brought. After debating between several options for the past week, she’d finally chosen a cherry-red satin bra and panty set, simplistic in design, yet elegantly pretty, and a matching thigh-length robe.
“That’s a great color on you,” Kim said, when Paige emerged from the dressing room.
“Thanks,” Paige replied back, smoothing down the front of the robe, then messing with the belt tied at her waist. “I took a long time picking this out.”
As Kim began leading the way to the boudoir ‘room’, she turned and glanced at Paige. “You seem a little nervous. Are you okay?”
Taking a deep breath, Paige nodded. “I am a little nervous, but I’m okay.” Then, with a quick smile, added, “Just don’t make me look bad.”
“We’ll do our best,” Kim countered with good-natured sarcasm as they entered the room Paige remembered from several weeks ago. “And if we can’t, there’s always photo-shop. Right, boss?”
“Right,” David said dryly, in the process of attaching a camera to a tripod and giving an amused shake of his head before looking over at the two women. When he saw Paige, he stopped what he was doing, his expression instantly making it clear he wholeheartedly approved of the picture she presented. Fortunately, Kim missed it, as her attention was on the gray chaise lounge in the corner.
Pointing, she said, “I can picture you lying there, maybe leaning against the arm, the curve of your body following the top curve of the chair, to start with. Gazing off to the side, perhaps …” Looking between David and Paige, she asked, “What do you think?”
He cleared his throat. “I think that’s a good start, but it depends on what Paige is comfortable with.”
“I’m comfortable with that,” Paige said. “I think I’ll be comfortable with anything that’s more classy, than um …”
“A centerfold in Hustler?” Kim supplied.
“Kim,” David muttered.
Ignoring him, she turned to Paige and lowered her voice. “We do get women who want those kinds of pictures, and they’re not my favorite. Or the boss’s … especially if they start flirting with him.”
“That really happens?”
“Sometimes.”
Paige cut a glance at David, letting him know they’d be discussing his lie about it never happening, later that night. “That seems kind of gross.”
“It totally is,” Kim agreed. “And my main job on those shoots is to be his de facto bodyguard.”
“Kim,” David said again, this time sounding like he was issuing a warning.
“Sorry. Paige is just really easy to talk to.”
“I know. I mean—I’m sure she is,” he quickly backpedaled. “I doubt she wants to hear about other clients, though. Especially those kind.”
With a quick salute that said she got his point, but wasn’t necessarily abashed at being called out, Kim took Paige over to the chaise and told her to sit down and curl up just like she would if she were at home.
“You mean if I were at home alone and happened to be wearing expensive lingerie?” Paige asked.
“Yep. Just like that.”
Paige did as instructed and after she was comfortably situated, Kim began moving around, making some adjustments. As she was positioning Paige’s arm, so it was draped on the tufted edge of the chaise with her left hand dangling, Kim caught sight of the engagement ring.
“Oh, my God, how did I not see your ring before?” she asked, pretending to be blinded by the diamonds as she checked it out with unabashed interest. “It looks crazy expensive.”
David coughed.
“What?” Kim demanded. “It does. Did you see it?” Without waiting for an answer, she turned back to Paige. “Your fiancé has extremely good taste.”
“Yes, he does.”
“This ring alone makes him a keeper.”
“Yeah, I’m definitely keeping him this time.”
“What do you mean, this time?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Fair enough. I have a few long stories of my own.” Letting go of Paige’s hand, Kim situated it so that the ring would be noticeable in the picture. “Congratulations, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“When’s the big day?”
“June fifteenth.”
Kim then asked permission to arrange Paige’s hair a little bit, tucking it behind her ears to give her a sleeker look. “You have really pretty eyes, and I don’t want them obstructed in any way.”
“Thank you. A guy once told me they were the color of a Sabre-Toothed Squirrel.”
“What’s a Sabre-Toothed Squirrel?”
“It was the name of the craft beer he was drinking.”
“Some guy said your eyes were the color of the beer he was drinking? Was he drunk?”
David leveled a frown at Kim’s back.
Paige shook her head. “He wasn’t drunk.”
“Did you throw his Sabre-Toothed Squirrel beer in his face?” Kim wanted to know.
“No, because he meant it as a compliment.”
“Are you sure? That’s a terrible compliment.”
Paige smiled. “I’m sure. And he was hot, so …”
“Really?”
“Very.”
“Hmm. That’s weird, because I was picturing a really nerdy guy—and not in a good way—with bad skin and maybe small, soft hands.”
At that extremely unflattering description, David leveled another frown at Kim’s back, this one more intense and making Paige almost laugh. “He wasn’t nerdy, and didn’t have bad skin or small, soft hands.”
“Well, that’s good, I guess. But on the flip side, guys that are hot get away with way too much.”
“What about hot women? Don’t they get away with way too much?” David asked.
“Of course we do, but we’re less entitled about it. Aren’t we, Paige?”
As Paige laughed at that, Kim had Paige extend a leg farther out on the chaise, baring it from mid-thigh down to her foot. “I know, most people think boudoir shots are all about cleavage and a sultry pout, but I think the most sensual parts of women are often the most overlooked. Like a delicate wrist, or an ankle, or even a knee.”
Once Kim was satisfied with everything, David took a few shots, noting that while Paige didn’t seem tense, she didn’t seem relaxed, either. Kim picked up on it, too, and began offering gentle words of encouragement, suggesting Paige think of the person she was having the pictures taken for. It usually worked with other clients, and seemed to work for Paige as well, as she began looking directly at the camera and smiling.
However, some of Kim’s other attempts at encouragement seemed to have the opposite effect, such as when she told Paige she was ‘doing great’, and was ‘a natural’ in front of the camera. Her responses to these compliments were to actually turn away from the camera for a brief moment before looking back, her smile becoming more forced each time.
For David, this was turning out to be the most uncomfortable shoot he’d ever done, and that included the one with the woman who touched his ass when he made the mistake of getting within striking distance. He was hyper-focused on every one of Paige’s facial expressions and movements, looking for anything that would signal something was wrong, and it got to the point that he was only barely paying attention to taking actual pictures.
About halfway through the shoot, Paige decided it was probably time to get a little further out of her comfort zone and show a little more skin. With forced resolve, she loosened the belt and shrugged the robe off her shoulders, exposing her bra straps and most of one bra cup, along with the upper swell of a breast.
“Oh, I like that,” Kim said, jumping in to re-arrange and smooth some of the bunched material to make it lay in a more flattering way.
Even though Paige knew it was David’s assistant touching her and there wasn’t anything sexual or threatening about it, Paigee still felt a wave of anxiety wash over her, bringing with it a sense of acute discomfort. Her heart rate began to accelerate and her muscles started to tighten in a horribly familiar way as she began shrinking into herself, becoming smaller.
She struggled to stay in the moment, but with every second it got harder and harder. It started to feel like a tug-of-war, as part of her tried to remain grounded in the room she was in, while the click of the camera, the lights, and the instructions from Kim on where to look, or how to look, pulled her toward another room, in another time. Neither of which she had any desire to return to.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
“These are great,” Kim gushed, after going back to look at some of the digital pictures David had taken. “The camera really loves you.”