25. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
“I’m actually really glad you came by,” Evan said as he put a Big Cock IPA and a glass on the bar in front of David.
David glanced around Three Amigos, which was pretty dead on a Monday night. “I can see why. You need the business.”
“Very funny. But that’s not why.”
“Oh, then why?”
Evan tilted his head. “Because I’ve been giving your situation a lot of thought recently—”
“My ‘situation’?”
“With Ashley.”
David slowly poured his beer. “Why have you been giving my ‘situation’ with Ashley a lot of thought recently?”
“Well, a couple of weeks ago I met a woman here at the bar and we really hit it off—”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“No. It wasn’t like that.”
“You just said you two hit it off.”
“We did. But it was a friendly version of hitting it off. We just talked.”
“Was she a lesbian?”
“No.”
“Was she unattractive?”
“No. She was very attractive. Stunning, actually.”
“And you just … talked?”
“Yeah. For like a half hour.”
“You seriously didn’t sleep with her?”
“No.”
“Did you want to?”
“No. And she didn’t want to sleep with me, either.”
“I’m a little confused right now.”
“Jesus, just shut-up and listen.”
“Fine.” David took a drink of his beer and then looked at Evan with exaggerated anticipation. “I’m listening.”
Evan hesitated for a moment and then started speaking slowly, almost choosing his words with care. “I liked this woman a lot. There was something about her—she wasn’t fragile, exactly, but she’s had to work through some bad shit in her life—”
“Haven’t we all?”
“Not like this,” Evan countered. He briefly considered giving David more details, but decided it would get them farther away from the point he was trying to make. “Anyway, after working through her shit, she’s going after the fairy tale and a happily-ever-after. And I really hope she gets them, because she deserves that.”
“Fairy tale? Happily-ever-after? You sound like such a girl right now.”
Evan ignored that and powered on. “But that’s what made me start thinking about you. It made me realize how much I want you to have the fairy tale, and the happily-ever-after, too, because you also deserve them. And I know neither of those is with Ashley—hell, you know it, too. You two have been together, what? A little more than four years? Most people would be married by now, especially when they have a kid. And the fact that you’re not, is really fucking sad. And I don’t mean sad that you’re not married to her, but sad because you don’t want to be married to her. And since you don’t want to be married to her, then you shouldn’t stay with her. Especially since you don’t love her. Because right now? You’re just killing time with her and I want you to have more than that.”
David leaned forward. “I appreciate that, Dick. But what I have with Ashley is fine.”
“Fine is a word I use to describe my mom’s meatloaf. And even then, I’m lying.”
“Well, I’m not lying. It is fine.”
Evan was silent for several moments as he scrutinized his friend. He seemed to be mostly telling the truth, but there was something underneath the surface, and Evan decided to go after it. “But?”
“But what?”
“That’s what I’m asking you. I think there’s something you’re not telling me. Something that might go against your ‘fine’ claim.”
David took a long drink and then said with a sigh, “Ashley’s been talking about having another baby.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Evan groaned rather loudly, unable to stop it. “Don’t do it, man. I’m begging you.”
Just then, Evan’s older sister, Evelyn, came out from the back, surprising them both. She looked like the female version of Evan, with wavy, reddish-brown hair and eyes the color of dark chocolate, which she narrowed at Evan.
“For God’s sake, Dick, quit begging. David is straight,” she said, apparently having caught the tail end of their conversation.
“That’s not what I’m begging him about, Ev. And quit calling me Dick.”
“Then what are you begging him about?”
“To not have another baby with Ashley.”
Evelyn swiveled her head toward David, like something out of The Exorcist and impaled David with an uneasy stare. “You’re thinking about having another baby with Ashley?”
“The subject has recently come up,” he said neutrally.
“Who’s bringing it up?”
Evan answered for David. “Ashley.”
Evelyn’s uneasiness turned to consternation. “She wants another baby?”
David gave a short nod. “She says she does.”
Evelyn held up her hands. “She barely pays attention to the one she has.”
Unable to dispute that, David didn’t say anything.
“Look, when most women want another child, it’s because they love children. That’s why I’m having another one,” Evelyn said, patting her barely-rounded stomach. “That’s probably why I’ll have at least five—”
“God, please don’t,” Evan muttered under his breath.
“—and I will take a bullet for any one of them. Literally take a bullet, without hesitation. And I will kill someone with my bare hands, if necessary, to protect them. That’s the love of a mother. That’s not Ashley. She’s the least maternal person I know, so her wanting another baby makes no sense. No offense.”
David lifted his glass of beer and drank the last of his Big Cock. “None taken.”
Evan grabbed another bottle of beer—this time a Tactical Nuclear Penguin—and popped the top. Then he traded out the dirty glass for a clean one and slid both over to David before settling back against the bar, arms folded across his chest.
David examined the bottle for a moment before tilting the glass and pouring the beer. “So why do you think she wants one, then?” he asked. “Since you’re a woman and a mother and have valuable insight?”
“Well, in my honest opinion—and please hear me out all the way before calling me a raging bitch, because pregnancy hormones are no joke—”
“No, they’re not,” Evan agreed quickly.
Evelyn picked up a wet bar towel and snapped Evan’s arm with it.
“Damn it, Ev, we’re not kids anymore,” he complained with a hiss, grabbing his arm.
Evelyn set the towel down and turned back to David. “There must be something in it for Ashley, for her to want another baby. I don’t know her very well and that’s because I kind of don’t want to, but I know enough to think her reason for wanting another one isn’t because she loves kids.” Her eyes narrowed. “Who potty-trained Jacob?”
The abrupt change in subject had David blinking for a second. “Me. But Ash said I should do it because he’s a boy. And because I’m a boy. So it would be easier for me to show him how to, you know …”
“Hold his little penis?”
“Jesus,” Evan muttered.
“I was going to say aim,” David said. “But close enough.”
“Ashley’s full of shit. I have a boy and Curtis and I both potty-trained him. For Christ’s sake, using Ashley’s logic, boys raised by single mothers across the world would never get potty-trained.”
David shrugged. “I didn’t say what she said made sense.”
Evelyn leaned across the bar. “Who reads bedtime stories to Jacob?”
“Mostly me.”
“Who bathes Jacob?”
“Mostly me.”
“Who takes him to preschool?”
“Mostly me.”
“Who plays with him?”
“Mostly me.”
“Who watches Disney movies over and over with him?”
“Mostly me.”
“You’re a saint, David. Not when it comes to your son, but when it comes to that woman you’re with. All of those things that you ‘mostly’ do, are things Curtis and I do equally.” Evelyn straightened up and exhaled loudly. “You need to seriously ask her why she wants a second child before having one, because as hands-off as she is now, she’s not going to magically transform into a doting mom if she pops out another one. More than likely, if she does pop out another one, you’ll be ‘mostly’ taking care of two kids. Trust me on this.”
There was a moment of silence, then Evelyn was off and running again. “Can I ask how Jacob came about?”
David gave her a bland look. “You mean, besides the usual way?”
“Yes.” She rested a hand on her stomach. “I do understand how women get pregnant.”
After a pause, David said, “Jacob was an accident.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“Do you know how easy it is to have an ‘accidental’ pregnancy? That’s literally the oldest trick in the book.”
“You seriously think Ashley got pregnant on purpose?”
“Maybe.” Evelyn pursed her lips. “What kind of birth control were you using?”
“Ev, my God,” Evan groaned. His sister had yet to come to a boundary she wouldn’t cross, which had made it really difficult growing up with her.
Evelyn rolled her eyes at Evan. “If this conversation makes you squeamish, little brother, then go do something else for five minutes while the grownups talk.”
David cleared his throat. “She was on the pill, but I used condoms for the first month, until we both got tested. And then she wanted me to go bare, so I quit using them.”
Evelyn blinked at him. “And how long before she was pregnant?”
“Two months.”
“Bless your heart, David. And you really thought her getting pregnant that soon after you quit using condoms was an accident?”
“I did, yeah. But I didn’t have any reason not to believe it was an accident, because she was still on the pill.”
Evelyn gave a sad shake of her head. “Seriously. Bless your heart.”
“Ev, when she told me she was pregnant, she was crying and really upset. I just figured we had fallen into the small percentage of birth control failure. The pill isn’t one hundred percent effective, right?”
“No, it’s not. But. I don’t trust her. I’d bet my left nipple—and I don’t take that lightly, since I need both of them for breastfeeding—”
“Jesus Christ,” Evan groaned again, looking up at the ceiling.
Evelyn flapped a hand at him. “Seriously, go somewhere else, so David and I can finish this conversation,” she told Evan, before turning back to David. “As I was saying, I’d bet my left nipple that she quit taking the pill on purpose to get pregnant with Jacob. And if I were you, I wouldn’t trust her not to have another ‘accidental’ pregnancy.”
“You’re serious.”
“Dead serious. Do you want another accidental pregnancy?”
“No.”
“Do you want to have another baby, period?”
“Yes and no. I like the thought of Jacob having a brother or sister, but I don’t necessarily want to have another baby with Ashley.” He rubbed at his chin for a moment. “Does that make sense? Does that make me an asshole?”
“It doesn’t make you an asshole. It makes you a smart man,” Evelyn assured him. “So what do you say when she tells you she wants another baby?”
“At first I said I was fine with Jacob being an only child, but lately I’ve been saying I’ll think about it, just to stop the conversation for a while. But I really don’t want to have another child with her, so I’m hoping she’ll just drop it.”
“Don’t count on it,” she told him, then abruptly changed the subject again. “I know you’re not married, but do you love her?”
“No, he doesn’t,” Evan answered.
“I’m asking David.”
“You know, Ev, he came to see me. Not you. You’re not even supposed to be here, anyway.”
“I know. I’m not staying long and you can have him back when I leave,” Evelyn told Evan, before turning her attention back to David.
Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, David said, “No. I care about her, but I don’t love her.”
“If there was no Jacob, would you be with her?”
“No. We were on life support when she told me she was pregnant.”
“Hell, you’re still on life support,” Evan muttered.
Evelyn’s gaze sharpened. “So, you’ve stayed with her for four years because of Jacob?”
David thought he knew what path she was taking. “You think she wants another baby to lock me down again.”
“I do. I’d bet my right nipple on that.”
David sighed.
“How long has she been pressuring you to have another one?” Evelyn asked.
“Two months.”
“Has anything happened between you two, to trigger this?”
David immediately thought back to that night at Bender’s and Ashley’s response to Paige about not being married. Had Paige triggered it? “Maybe.”
Evelyn was silent for several moments before she said, “David, if you don’t want another baby with her, then don’t have one. And the way to make sure you don’t have one is to become an active participant in not having another one. Now, that being said, what kind of birth control are you two currently using?”
Evan didn’t even bother protesting this time. What was the point?
“Ashley’s on the pill.”
“Don’t trust that she’s taking it,” Evelyn told David seriously. “And I mean that. It’s easy enough to check and see if the correct pills are missing from her prescription, but it’s also easy enough to pretend to take the pills and just be flushing them down the toilet. So, even if it looks like she is, I would still recommend that you wear condoms, just to make sure you’re in control this time around. And if she questions why you’re wrapping it up, tell her you want to make sure she doesn’t ‘accidentally’ get pregnant again while you ‘think’ about having another baby. She can’t really tell you you’re being paranoid, since it supposedly happened once before, so you have a legitimate reason to use condoms. And by the way, if she seems abnormally upset that you want to use condoms, it’s probably a good indication that she’s not taking her pills.”
David nodded, feeling a trickle of unease at the thought that Ash might be doing that. Possibly for the second time. “Thanks, Ev.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Evan parroted, although with a heavy layer of sarcasm. “Now get the hell out of here.”
Evelyn pointed toward the giant glass bowl next to the cash register. “Don’t forget to leave a business card for the drawing,” she told David.
“I won’t,” he promised.
“And don’t forget to write my name on it,” she said to Evan.
“Why should your name go on it?”
“Because I earned it by giving him all that great advice, that’s why.”
He gave her an aggravated look. “Fine.”
An hour later, after demolishing an order of chicken wings, David left, but not before giving a business card to Evan, who immediately wrote his own name on the back before tossing it into the bowl.