67. Chapter 67
Chapter 67
Not surprisingly, the day dragged like a Lord of the Rings movie marathon and by the time Paige arrived at the loft that night, she was in a bit of a state. So much so, that she stood there for several minutes doing her stupid breathing exercises while staring at the door. When it seemed like she had her shit together, she raised her hand to knock, only to lower it, almost immediately.
Was she doing the right thing?
Paige raised her hand … and lowered it again.
What if she was making a huge mistake?
Paige raised her hand and lowered it again, then proceeded to do it a half dozen more times, with a half dozen more questions, until she circled back to the beginning.
Was she doing the right thing?
Unfortunately, she wouldn’t know until she did it which meant Paige was just going to have to do it.
With a deep breath, she knocked on the door, which opened right away, scaring the crap out of her. “Jesus Christ—”
“I was beginning to think you were going to stand there all night,” David said and when she blinked at him, he grinned. “I’ve been watching you through the peephole for the past five minutes. It’s been very entertaining.”
Paige felt her face bloom with heat as he stepped back and motioned her to come inside. After taking her purse and hanging it on one of several hooks by the door, he helped her out of her fitted, dark brown blazer and hung that up as well. Because she’d come straight from work, she was still dressed professionally in low heeled boots, dark, skinny dress jeans, and a long-sleeved, white button-down shirt with black polka dots, worn untucked under a brown, tweed vest.
“Who knew a tweed vest could be so sexy,” David murmured, taking a moment to admire how the tight vest outlined her curves very nicely, before taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen where the smell of something delicious filled the air.
The table was already set with plates and silverware, and he had her sit down while he grabbed a pair of pot holders and removed a steaming casserole dish from the oven. As he was leaning over and otherwise occupied, Paige took the opportunity to check out his butt. Oddly enough, just looking at it seemed to do more to relieve her anxiety than her breathing exercises, and she decided for future episodes of anxiety, she might cue up a mental picture of his butt crushing it in those cargo pants, instead.
“Paige?”
She quickly looked up, immensely grateful to see that he was busy with the contents in the casserole dish and wasn’t aware of what she’d been doing. “What?”
“I asked how your day was,” he repeated, as he picked up the large dish and brought it over to the table.
“Oh.” Shit, she hadn’t even heard him. “Um … it was crap.”
He sat down in the chair next to her. “How can that be? You agreed to use me for sex, so your day should’ve been stellar, from that alone.”
Smiling at his assessment, Paige countered with, “How was your day?”
He took her plate and started spooning what she could now see was baked fettuccine Alfredo, with chicken and broccoli mixed in. “It was stellar. I found out I’m going to be used for sex and it doesn’t get much better than that.” Then, as if something had just occurred to him, he tilted his head. “Although I did have to wait seven days for that bit of good news.”
She made a face as she took her loaded plate, which felt like it weighed five pounds; he must have thought she hadn’t eaten in a few days.
“There’s that look again,” he mused.
“My I’m aggravated as fuck look? Yeah, and it’s all for you.”
He grinned and began filling up his own plate. When he was done, they both picked up their forks and started eating.
“So, how does this work?” she wanted to know.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do I start using you for sex right away?” she clarified, even though she figured he knew what she was talking about. And as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Paige’s eyes widened as she considered the possibility that he might’ve been planning on having sex tonight and if that was the case, she probably shouldn’t eat five pounds of food beforehand. Not to mention, she probably should’ve gone home and showered first … and maybe shaved her legs.
“Well, I’ve never done this before,” David replied blandly, “so I don’t really have a plan—”
“Hold up,” she interrupted, not caring that her mouth was half-full. “Are you saying you got us into this situation and you don’t have a plan for going forward?”
“You didn’t let me finish,” he chastised her. “I don’t really have a plan, other than to let things happen organically.”
“What does that mean?”
“We go out. Like we did on our divorce anniversary.”
“Oh. Really?”
He nodded and then pointed his fork at her. “You know, it just occurred to me that a side benefit to this arrangement might be the improvement of your bowling game.”
She shook her head. “That’s so not funny.”
David laughed, the low rumble making her shiver a little. “Actually, what seems like a more plausible side benefit would be more victory dinners for me, and I’m totally on board with that.”
Paige speared a piece of broccoli, imagining it was him. “Jerk.”
“Anyway,” he went on, overlooking being called a jerk, “I think it would make you more comfortable if we sort of date, for lack of a better word. I feel like if we start having sex right away, it’ll just be too much like how sex was for you when it wasn’t good. And I don’t want to get anywhere near that.”
They were going to be ‘sort of’ dating? She pondered that for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. That’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”
“Good. Now, I think it’s important for us to start slowly, spending time on all three bases before sliding into home. Take sexual baby steps, if you will.”
“Did you just say ‘sexual baby steps’?” she asked. This was turning out to be a somewhat strange conversation—and she had hundreds of conversations with Jules to compare it to.
“Yes. It’s important to enjoy the journey, so I think we should enjoy it a lot. Especially since everything will be new for both of us.”
So … he was basically telling her that sex was a ways down the road and on that road there would be a lot of foreplay and dry humping—
“Wait,” he said, breaking into her thoughts. “Were you thinking we were going to have sex tonight?”
“What?” Paige quickly schooled her features, because that’s exactly what she’d been thinking less than a minute ago. “No. Of course not. Jeez.”
“Because we’re not. No matter how much you might want to.”
She did her best to ignore the implication that she would be the only one to want to, figuring David was trying to pull her chain some more, which was something he seemed to enjoy doing. “Honestly, it never even occurred to me.”
He scrutinized her face and then raised his eyebrows. “Huh. That must be your I’m lying through my ass look,” he mused.
Totally busted, she was unable to keep from laughing.
He grinned, loving the sound of her uncontrolled laughter, which he’d missed terribly, and waited until she was done to continue. “Now, I know I said I wanted to let things happen organically, but I also think we should establish a few ground rules.”
“Ground rules?” Then, before he could answer, she pointed a finger at him. “You know, for someone who said they didn’t have a plan, this sounds like a plan.”
“It’s more like … common sense guidelines that will benefit both of us.”
It sounded like word-play to her, but she gave in. “Fine. What kind of ground rules are you proposing?”
“Communication is the first one. We’re going to talk to one another. A lot. If at any time, you feel uncomfortable with what I’m doing—or we’re doing—you need to tell me immediately, so I can stop, or we can work through it together, all right? I don’t want to be told that you don’t like something after I’ve been doing it for thirty minutes.” Then, because he simply couldn’t resist, he tacked on, “Or be told seven days later.”
Paige rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake, quit whining about the seven days, already.”
He grinned again, before leaning back in his chair and turning serious. “I also really don’t want to hurt you, either by doing something that triggers you, or actually physically hurts you in some way, so you need to speak up if either of those circumstances happen. Don’t worry about offending me if you need to tell me to slow down or stop whatever I’m doing. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“On the flip side of that is letting me know when you like something. This one is really important, since I plan on doing the things you like on a regular basis, so it’s information I need to have. You can tell me with words, obviously, but if you find yourself incapable of speech in the heat of the moment—and if I’m doing my job right this will always be the case—then moans and groans will get the message across.”
In the middle of taking a bite, Paige simply nodded, picturing him doing his ‘job’ and possibly making her moan and groan, and finding it immensely appealing.
“Now, on to protection.” He took a breath, holding it for a long moment before releasing it. “I assume you’ll want me to wear condoms?”
She paused to consider her answer. There was a part of her that wanted him to wear them, because otherwise it would feel too intimate. Plus, there was the added knowledge that he’d been barebacking it with Ashley not too long ago and Paige needed a layer of separation from that.
But there was also a part of her that wanted nothing between them.
At her conflicted expression, David said, “I figured you’d want me to. Is that not the case?”
“Yes and no.”
“Is it more yes, or more no?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest,” she answered quietly. “I’m on the pill, but …”
They looked at one another for a long moment and then he leaned forward. “How about this? I’m going to get tested this week so you’ll know I’m clean, and when the time comes, you can either roll the condom on me or not. It will be one hundred percent your decision, okay? And I’ll be fine with whatever you decide to do.”
“Do you want me to get tested?” she asked, even though she knew it would be a waste of time, since the last person she’d had sex with had been him. But maybe it was only fair?
“I doubt that’s necessary,” he replied diplomatically. “Unless you think you might have caught something from your vibrator.”
She shook her head. “They’re all clean.”
“All?”
“I have more than one. Finding yourself in the situation where the only one you have quits working really sucks, so having a back-up is important. And a back-up for the back-up.”
David took a moment to digest that information before clearing his throat. “That actually brings me to another rule.”
“For crying out loud, how many rules are there?”
He let her question go unanswered. “No self-love. My orgasms are yours and yours are mine, so no getting off on your own, with or without any of your vibrators, unless I’m present. And I won’t jerk off, either, unless you’re present. Got it?”
She pursed her lips. Having never seen him jerk off, she decided that might have to be rectified as soon as possible, because that would probably be a good show. “Got it.”
“Now for the final rule,” he said with obvious reluctance, knowing this was where things would likely get tricky. “Ignoring the elephant in the room.”
“What elephant?”
“Ashley.” David rubbed at his chin. “Well, specifically, my relationship with her.”
At the woman’s name, Paige stiffened slightly, her expression turning sour.
Seeing her reaction, David took her hand. “The only way this works is if it’s just you and me going forward. And by you, I mean the woman you are right now and not the woman who was abused by her uncle. You’ve worked hard to be ‘normal’, so I’m going to treat you like you’re ‘normal’. And by me, I mean the man I am right now and not the man who married and divorced you, then had a relationship with a woman you despise. All of that is just white noise and none of it can get in the way, okay?”
Even though this rule would be the hardest for her to follow, she could see the necessity for it, so Paige told herself she could do what he was asking and nodded.
“Good,” he breathed, making no effort to disguise his relief. “Now let’s make it official.”