Chapter Twenty-four – Be That For You
Chapter Twenty-four
Maisey
BE THAT FOR YOU
Performed by Lady A
THREE YEARS AGO
HIM: Why is it folks think just because a person is wearing a uniform, it means they want to be hit on?
HER: This is new. You’re actually complaining about being hit on?
HIM: Sometimes, a guy just wants to have a beer and relax.
HIM: Think putting a fake wedding ring on my finger would be a deterrent?
HER: For some, they’d only see that as an additional challenge.
HIM: Annnndddd, this is yet another reason why I don’t believe in HEAs.
HER: Okay. Who is this really? You’re using “HEA” and complaining about being hit on. This is NOT Beckett. Is this Stoney? Kasey? Did one of you steal his phone?
HIM: *** laughing emoji *** Funny, Maise. Funny.
HER: If it’s really you, then you have to be sick. I’ll swing by and check your temperature.
HIM: My door is always open for you to…check my temperature.
HER: *** puking emoji *** And now I’m sick.
PRESENT DAY
My emotions felt balanced on a razor’s edge, ready to fall precariously in one of two directions.
On one side, panic and fear, and on the other, a hollow numbness.
I chose door number two, if only to get me through the night.
I wanted to forget everything about those few moments when I’d felt powerless and afraid. When the hand had slid—
No. I refused to go there. The worst hadn’t happened to me. I had a bump and some scrapes, and my composure was shaken. But otherwise, I was fine.
When we were finally able to escape the chaos outside and the door had closed on the nightmare I’d lived through, Beckett insisted I stay in his bed again. It wasn’t a hardship. The mattress was like a cloud, and with Beckett next to me, holding me, I knew I’d feel safe.
I wanted to shower. I wanted to wash off the grit of the ground as well as the knowledge that someone had touched me without my permission, but reapplying ointment to my scrapes and rewrapping my hands would require energy I didn’t have.
So instead, I stripped my clothes, put on another of Beckett’s T-shirts, and crawled into bed while Beckett grabbed me water, ice, and pain medicine.
After he was satisfied I’d been sufficiently cared for, he tossed his uniform aside and joined me. It was another testament to how exhausted I was that I didn’t drool over his nearly naked body or freak out at him drawing me up into his chest like he had last time we’d been in his bed together.
Beckett squeezed me to him so tight I thought our bones would meld. His voice was full of grief and recrimination as he said, “I’m sorry, Maisey. So damn sorry.”
Surprise shifted through the fatigue and numbness that had taken over, and I turned in his arms so I could meet his gaze.
“This isn’t your fault.”
“I wasn’t here…” Tears filled his eyes that he blinked back.
His tears nearly broke me. I was barely holding myself together, barely holding the numbness around me like a cloak. I needed that for a few more hours, but I wouldn’t—couldn’t—let him take responsibility for something that was absolutely not his fault.
I ran my fingers along his jawline. He had to have started the day clean-shaven, but now the stubble coated his chin and cheeks. I was a sucker for a good layer of scruff. It was sexy and tantalizing. I wished I wasn’t too tired to take advantage of it.
Instead, I did what I could to comfort him. “Don’t do that, Beckett. The only person responsible for this is the person who attacked me. Not you. Not me. Not the fact we’ve told everyone we’re engaged.”
He kissed me. Tenderly. Sweetly.
The flame flickered to life between us, but it was dimmed because of the detachment I’d draped myself in, and I hated that maybe even more than I hated the fact that someone had come for me again.
I turned my cheek, resting it on the hard expanse of his chest, and my eyelids immediately drooped, the aftershock of the adrenaline rush dragging me under.
His chin rested on the top of my head, and his arms tightened around me again. He murmured something…something my subconscious told me I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t pull myself back from the abyss enough for it to truly sink in. I was gone. Lost in the darkness.
Until the early morning, when a nightmare finally bled through the cocoon he’d wrapped me in. In the dream, when I hit the ground, my clothes were torn from me. Someone was touching me. Reality mixed with the fear of what could have happened…
I jerked awake. Heart racing. Palms clammy.
“Shh. I’m here. I’m here, Maisey. You’re safe.”
I looked up into Beckett’s warm gaze, and my body instantly relaxed. I was safe. Here with him. I’d always been safe with him. I blinked away tears that welled.
As Beckett gently brushed my hair away from my cheeks, I scoured his face. He looked as tired as I still felt. Eyes shadowed. Light dimmed.
That shook the numbness away. Screw whoever this was. I refused to let them take our joy. Refused to let them take the pleasure of these moments we were making together and turn them into a tragedy. They wouldn’t get the best of me…or Beckett.
We’d both survived worse.
“Did you sleep at all?” I asked.
“A few minutes here and there.”
I registered the bright sunlight shifting through the wooden shutters on his windows. Crap. It was far later than I’d expected. I was going to be late. I sat up, demanding, “What time is it?”
He tried to pull me back to him, but I batted his hands away. My head spun as I turned too quickly, trying to catch a glimpse of the clock. Nine o’clock! I’d barely have time to get ready. “Fallon is going to be here in thirty minutes.”
“What? Why is Fallon coming?” Beckett’s voice was rough and raw.
“We’re going dress shopping for the ball.”
“Yeah. No. That’s not happening.” He sat up, brushing a hand through his thick waves.
“What? Why? Do you not want to go to the ball anymore?”
He gritted his teeth, clearly debating the answer.
“Beckett, the entire reason we started this pretend engagement was so you could convince the city council and the chief that you were ready to replace him. Showing up at the Firefighters Ball is a requirement for anyone who wants the job. You have to go tonight. We have to go. It’s the first time anyone will really see us together. ”
“Everyone will understand. You were attacked last night.”
As if the nightmare I’d just woken out of hadn’t already reminded me. I swallowed hard, playing with my hair in that nervous habit I’d forced myself to outgrow. I pushed the messy strands behind my ear, baring my face on purpose.
I didn’t need to hide. And I wouldn’t allow whoever had attacked me to ruin Beckett’s chances at the chief position any more than I was going to let them ruin the time we were sharing together.
“If we don’t go, then we’re letting whoever did this win,” I said. To hell with that.
I threw the covers back and stood, careful to keep my balance even though my head was pounding as if a woodpecker was drilling into it, and my shoulder ached like a bitch. If Beckett saw I was hurting, it would only give him more reason not to go tonight.
But I wanted this. Not just for him, but for me.
I wanted to show up on his arm in a fancy dress and prove to the town Beckett was mine.
Even more, I wanted what came after. I needed what he’d promised me in his texts all week.
The tangled skin. The sinful, feral claiming.
I wasn’t going to skip it because of one asshole who thought they could scare me into giving up everything I’d always dreamed of having—giving up Beckett.
When he still hadn’t responded, when he still sat there with a stubborn set to his chin and expression broody and dark, I knew I’d have to do something drastic to break him out of it. So I raised a brow and said, “So you’re all talk and no action.”
“What?” His eyes narrowed.
Even though it hurt my scraped hands, I crawled on all fours across the mattress toward him.
“You made promises, Fireball. Four days of them. About just what you were going to do to me in and out of my blue robe, and I want every single thing you promised you’d do.
We both expected that to start tonight, after the ball.
And I have plans for the dress I’m buying today.
Plans of watching you beg me to take it off. ”
Heat flickered across his face as he watched me approach. I straddled him. His gaze immediately dropped to my mouth while his hands landed on my hips.
“Maisey.” It was a warning. A plea to stop.
I ignored it. Instead, I leaned in and took his lips with mine, lingering there for a moment, indulging in the simple joy of touching him. Then, I licked along the seam, demanding entrance. He groaned, and I thrust my tongue inside, dancing along the velvety warmth that greeted me.
I’d meant the kiss to be a tease, a slow dare I then planned on walking away from. But the instant we were joined, everything in the world faded but us. Nothing existed but our mingled breaths and twined bodies and the insatiable need radiating between us.
His hand went to the back of my neck, pushing us closer. My breasts pressed tightly against the hard muscles of his chest. My body flickered with sparks only Beckett had ever caused. No man had ever made me feel this way. Alive. Desired. Full of want.
Enough. Enough to please. Enough to keep.
Our kiss deepened, mouths and teeth and tongues battling for control.
I bit his bottom lip and was rewarded with those brown eyes turning to molten chocolate.
The layers of sheets and pajamas suddenly felt like way too much.
I wanted him. I wanted his hands on my bare skin, between my legs, on every inch of my body. I wanted him inside me, calling my name.
I wanted what the romance novels promised and so few people really got.
I could have that with him.
I would have it with him.