Chapter Thirty-six – Opalite
Chapter Thirty-six
Maisey
OPALITE
Performed by Taylor Swift
PRESENT DAY
HIM: Pancakes or waffles?
HER: Neither.
HIM: You need to eat.
HER: I need you.
By the time we got home, it was almost stupid to go to sleep. The sun would be up in just an hour or two. I was supposed to be heading into work in a few hours, but I wouldn’t make it, and I had to hope Meredith wouldn’t let me go after all my absences, excused or not.
With the way my entire body was screaming at me, I figured it would be a few days before I could withstand the rigors of a twelve-hour shift. The slashes from the whip were raw and achy, my throat was burning, and my eyes were gritty from smoke and gasoline and tears.
When I walked into Beckett’s, I could have fallen straight into bed and slept for a day straight, but instead, while Beckett hosed off Vader and fed him, I headed for the guest bathroom to shower.
In a repeat of the day before, I stood under the full heat and tried to wash off more ugliness.
Dirt, gasoline, and blood, as well as heartache.
My sister had tried to kill me. Kill our father.
I wasn’t sure I’d be able to process that without another round of therapy.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t numb tonight as much as I was simply exhausted. I felt it all the way down to my bones. Deeper than I’d ever felt it before. Just climbing out of the shower made me feel like I was a hundred years old and riddled with arthritis.
I palmed some over-the-counter pain meds and then sat on the closed toilet, slathering all my cuts and scrapes with antibiotic ointment and bandages, taking extra care of the stitches on my biceps.
Once I finished, I just sat there, trying to find the energy to move, to make my way down the hall to the bedroom.
The adrenaline crash from the events of the last days and weeks of sleepless nights had finally taken its toll. Add to that, I was pretty sure the virus burning through town had finally worked its way into my system. It left me feeling like I’d never be able to stand again.
The bathroom door flew open, banging against the wall, and Beckett stormed in with a frown between his brows and frustration spread across his face. Whatever it was, whatever had happened now, I wasn’t sure I could take it, because I was tapped out. I’d reached the end of my strength and sanity.
Somehow, I mustered up the energy to ask, “What’s wrong? Is it Dad?”
“Your Dad is fine. I want to know why you’re still showering in the guest bath?”
“My stuff is here.”
“Move it. You aren’t a goddamn guest.”
When I didn’t reply, he stepped toward me, and in one smooth move, he swept me off the toilet into his arms. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you, once and for all, where you belong,” he insisted, stalking down the hall and into his bedroom. I was too tired to fight him, and truthfully, I didn’t want to. I was grateful for not having to move myself, and I loved spending the night tucked up against Beckett.
He yanked the covers back and gently set me down.
The heaven of his mattress greeted me, instantly tugging me closer to sleep.
My eyelids were already closed by the time he shut off the lights and joined me.
When he pulled me to him, I didn’t resist, resting my head on his chest, feeling safe and loved in his arms—a warm cocoon of Beckett’s making.
“I need to know, Maisey,” he said quietly.
I tried to drag myself back from the edge of sleep, tried to mumble, “What?” but wasn’t even sure if it made it from my thoughts into actual words.
“Are you having second thoughts? About us? About getting married? Is that why you refuse to move your stuff into this room? To make it ours instead of just mine?”
I tried to shake my head, tried to reassure him, but I just couldn’t open my eyes. Couldn’t talk. I thought I said no. Wanted to add on that I wasn’t having any doubts about him or us or the future I wanted with him, but my body wasn’t cooperating.
From somewhere close to the abyss of sleep, I felt the kiss he placed on the top of my head and heard the I love yous whispered in my ear, but then there was nothing but a dark, deep, dreamless sleep.
? ? ?
The light was shimmering through the blinds when I woke alone.
I felt not quite hot and feverish, but still achy and raw.
I sat up and found a tumbler on the bedside table along with a bottle of pain medicine.
I took a couple, grimacing at the pain as I swallowed, and then continued to sip at the honeyed tea, trying to soothe my aching throat.
I turned my phone over to check the time, astonished to find it was nearly noon.
As if he’d somehow heard me barely moving, footsteps echoed down the hall, and Beckett appeared in the doorway with Vader trailing after him. When Beckett leaned up against the frame, the dog pressed into him, as if afraid to leave his side again.
“How are you feeling?” Beckett asked.
“Like my throat got stung by a thousand bees and I took a fall from Titan at a gallop.”
“That good, huh?” His lips quirked. “You feel like eggs? Toast?”
“Not really,” I said and started to slide out of bed.
“Where are you going?” he growled.
“To get ready. Go see Dad. Deal with whatever we need to after yesterday.”
In two strides, he’d reached the bed, taken my legs, and shoved them back under the covers.
“You’re not going anywhere today. You need to rest and heal.
Everyone can fucking handle things on their own for one day without you.
” When I started to protest, he put a finger over my lips. “Don’t make me tie you to the bed.”
The warning landed in my stomach with an unexpected heat. When my eyes found his, I saw a mirror reflection of the desire that had rushed through me.
But as he leaned in to kiss me, I put my hand up between our mouths.
“No kissing, Beckett,” I said and nearly laughed at the disapproving look on his face.
“I don’t think this is just the smoke messing with my throat.
I think I’ve finally succumbed to the cold going around, and even with your rock-solid immune system, you’re bound to get sick if you keep touching me and breathing the same air as me. ”
He shrugged. “If I do, I do. It’ll be worth it.”
“You say that now, when your throat doesn’t feel like you’re training to be a fire eater.”
“That’s an interesting notion. A firefighter who’s also a fire eater.
Fireball absorbed the flames, but I could swallow them instead.
” He was smiling, the large smile that always landed in the pit of my stomach and made his dimple pop.
Over the years, I’d gotten good at pushing aside the longing that look brought, but now, I let it hit me fully, relishing it.
The longer I stared at him, the more the tease in the air disappeared, replaced with the electricity that zipped between us. He sat on the mattress next to me and tugged my hand into his.
“As much as I’d love to stay here with you and Vader and ignore the world,” I said softly, “I don’t think that’s going to be possible today.”
“Just today? Or has something changed that’s making you want to run from me?
” he asked, and I heard behind his calm voice the teenage boy who’d once been abandoned.
The man who’d shielded his heart, even from me, for twenty years.
I hadn’t been able to drag myself out of the abyss last night to respond to his questions, and now he’d had an entire morning to doubt me. Doubt us.
“Since the moment you entered my life, Beckett. The thing I wanted most was you. That has never changed. It was the same yesterday. It’s the same today. And it will be the same years into our future.”
Relief softened every line on his face. “Then move in here. Truly move in here. I want you in my bed, in my bathroom. I want your books strewn across my living room. I want you to turn this house into something that’s ours and not mine.
And I desperately want to be the person who makes all your dreams come true, if you’ll have me… if you’ll let me.”
Emotions bloomed, filling my chest to their limit and making it difficult to talk.
How long had I wanted to hear just this from someone?
No…not from just anyone…from Beckett. I’d always wanted him to look at me just this way and offer me himself.
Offer me the love I’d always known he had inside him to give.
Now that I had it, now that he was mine, it felt unreal. And yet it wasn’t.
Forever after wasn’t just for romance novels.
The intensity of my joy nearly left me breathless, and it took far too long for me to finally respond. “Okay. I’ll move all my stuff out of the guest room and bath today.”
The happiness in his eyes matched my own, but he shook his head, humor twinkling in his eyes as he said, “No. You’re not doing anything today but resting. I’ll move your things.”
As much as I would have liked nothing more than to not move a muscle from Beckett’s bed, I longed to see my dad. To make sure he was okay. When I said that, Beckett just shook his head again.
“You heard him last night. He wants you to rest. When I talked to him this morning, he made me promise I’d make sure you did just that.
” When I started to protest, he covered my lips with his hand.
“I talked to the doctor too. He said there’s no way they’re releasing your dad for at least two more days. ”
“But the sheriff—”