Chapter Thirteen – Girl In The Mirror #2
“He called my dad,” Parker answered for him. “But the question is, why didn’t you pick up the phone and call one of us?”
“Damn you, Kurt—”
“Look. I respected your reasons for not calling Rafe,” Kurt said gravely. “But ultimately, Jim is in charge of the security team, and they haven’t been doing their job. Someone needed to come and kick them in the ass. They sure as hell weren’t going to listen to the guy in charge of the cows.”
“You should have talked it over with me,” I snapped. “It was my decision to make, not yours.”
Old wounds flashed. The many times I’d been overruled by Mom while she’d had control of me and the ranch. Taking it out on Kurt wasn’t fair, and I instantly regretted it.
Kurt held up his hands. “Maybe so. But I won’t apologize for doing what I thought was right. And as soon as you get your ego out of your ass, you’ll realize it too.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets and strode off toward his men who were standing at the edges of the cabin, watching the firefighters finish up.
Anger and embarrassment burned. Not only because Parker had seen our exchange but because Kurt was right.
It had been partially ego that had stopped me from calling Jim.
How many mistakes would I make before I realized I wasn’t ready for this responsibility?
These character-building errors I kept making risked far more than the land. Someone could have died today!
My chest wound another notch tighter, and I fought against chewing my nails by biting into my cheek once more.
I lifted my chin and met Parker’s gaze defiantly, but it wasn’t judgment or disapproval I saw in those steely eyes—it was a flash of concern that bled through the SEAL facade .
“Want to tell me what the hell has been going on, Ducky?”
“Hell, Ducky!” Theo said with a smile, throwing his stuffed dog into the air, and Parker looked completely abashed.
“We’ve talked about this, bud. You can’t repeat everything I say.”
My heart clutched at the exchange, making those stupid tears prick again.
The love wafting from Parker to Theo was so big and so visible it could cause a sonic wave.
The few times I’d seen Parker with Will’s son before now, he’d always been good with him.
He’d teased and laughed as anyone might with a friend’s kid, but I hadn’t seen this—protectiveness and love.
It hit me right in that tender spot, deep inside, that had always been Parker’s.
Right beside the ache I’d once had to have my own kids.
To raise a couple of babies who would forever know they were loved and wanted.
I’d set those wishes aside, thinking there was plenty of time for them after I’d finished college, taken the ranch in hand, and made my dreams of the animal refuge come true.
Now, I wasn’t sure what—if any of it—I’d be able to pull off.
Then, I kicked myself in the proverbial ass just like Kurt had said I needed. What was wrong with me the last few days?
My emotions were on a wild roller-coaster ride that I couldn’t seem to stop.
I swallowed hard. “I need to get cleaned up before Sheriff Wylee shows up. Where does Jim have you staying?”
“The cabin,” Parker said with a look behind me at the rubble.
As his words registered, my stomach lurched once more, and for one horrifying moment, I thought I might throw up right in front of him.
What if he’d shown up with Theo last night instead of this morning?
What would have happened if they’d been inside?
God…would they have gotten out before— I batted away those thoughts and swallowed down the nausea, but my entire body was shaking from the effort.
“Come up to the house until I can talk with Andie and see what’s available. With everything that’s been happening, I don’t doubt we’ve had some cancellations.” I strode toward the path behind the castle that led up into the hills to the house where Mom and I lived.
Parker grabbed my arm, drawing me toward the parking lot. “ We’ll take my truck.”
The simple touch sparked along my skin, sizzling with a heat stronger than the embers that had burned a hole in my T-shirt while fighting the fire. When I looked down at his hand, he pulled it back as if I’d bitten him.
He strode toward the antiquated green pickup he’d had for as long as I’d been in San Diego.
I’d been in the rig so many times I couldn’t count them all, mostly hauling ourselves and our surfboards to the beach.
The truck brought back some of my best summer memories.
Times when I’d had his complete attention as we topped the waves.
Times when I’d thought maybe I stood a chance of one day making him mine.
Then, I’d met JJ and given up the fight. Or maybe I’d given up the fight and then met JJ? I wasn’t sure anymore.
Parker opened the back door of the truck for Theo, and the little boy climbed in and strapped himself into his car seat while we climbed into the front. Parker backed out of the spot and drove past the main house, where I saw dozens of guests curiously peeking out their windows.
My stomach sank all over again. I should have gone inside and talked to them.
I should have reassured both the guests and our staff that everything would be okay.
But at the moment, I couldn’t. I needed to shower and get a hold of my emotions so I’d appear to have everything in hand when I did talk to everyone.
When my home came into view, the pots blossoming with summer flowers on the porch drew my gaze away from the decorative river rock, chestnut siding, and green roof. I’d barely noticed the flowers in the month I’d been home, but now they looked decidedly cheerful.
I wished I could be as happy. I wished I was rejoicing that Parker was here instead of worrying about why he’d come and if he and Theo would be safe.
As soon as Parker braked, I was out of the truck and up the two short steps to the front door.
I punched in the keycode, and the lock clicked open.
Inside, my eyes settled on the heart of the house—a large wall of glass overlooking the valley where the rivers twined on both sides of the hotel and the stables.
A hint of the lake was visible, its icy blue waters surrounded by trees and white cliffs.
Some of my favorite places on the ranch were visible right here from my home.
It usually filled me with pride and peace, but today, seeing the smoke still lingering in the air, my insides twisted more.
Parker dropped a couple of backpacks and large military duffels on the floor as he and Theo came in the front door. His eyes fastened on me for several long heartbeats. He was assessing me again, looking for injuries, and when he found the hole in my shirt near my shoulder, he frowned.
“You get burned?”
“Just a sting.”
Two more heartbeats went by with our eyes locked. When stupid tears threatened all over, I was the first to look away—another thing teen Fallon would have been pissed about. I’d gotten off on holding his gaze back then. I’d seen it as a silent dare, and I’d rejoiced every time I’d won.
“I’m going to shower,” I said. “Help yourself to whatever you need in the kitchen. It’s pretty bare because I’ve mostly eaten with the staff lately, but there should be coffee and bread.”
“Fallon—”
I couldn’t handle the empathy I heard in his tone.
I’d break down again, so I just kept walking down the short hall that led to two suites on opposing sides of the house.
Each had a large bath, walk-in closet, and small sitting area that had allowed Mom and me to escape whenever we’d rubbed each other the wrong way.
I’d favored emeralds and golds as a teen, and somehow, the decor had held up over the years, so it didn’t look childish or outdated, even a decade later. My room faced the valley and the sunsets, while Mom’s cheerful blue-and-yellow room faced the mountains and the sunrise.
I headed straight for the golden marble bathroom en suite, shedding my clothes and tossing them by the trash can instead of the hamper. I’d never get the smoke smell out of them, and even if I did, I’d only feel the failure I felt whenever I saw them.
For a moment, I eyed the large whirlpool tub with longing. The jets would soothe my worries as much as my pains, but I didn’t have time to wallow right now, not if I intended to make it down to the hotel in time to talk with the sheriff.
I walked into the oversized shower and flipped the water all the way to hot.
Every part of me ached as I stood under the powerful stream.
If hauling hoses for a few hours had made my muscles this sore, I’d gotten softer than I’d imagined in my years in San Diego.
Hell, even my breasts hurt. My hand slowed as I brushed the soap over them, and a new fear darted inside before I forced it away, just as I’d been forcing all my worst thoughts in the last month.
I’d had my period.
Everything was fine.
It would be a wasted effort to spend even a moment thinking about what JJ had or hadn’t done with our condoms. What I needed to do was figure out who was behind these attacks at the ranch. Because if it wasn’t JJ or Ace, I was coming up blank.
After Kurt and I had realized the tractor tire hadn’t blown out from wear but had been slashed, Detectives Harris and Lake had once again paid JJ and Ace visits.
Both men insisted they’d been in San Diego all along, and there was no proof to say otherwise.
Even JJ’s ankle monitor said he hadn’t left the area.
Kurt and I had spent hours after the call trying to figure out who might have been behind these attacks.
Neither of us could think of any employee or guest who would do anything this ugly, but we’d agreed to meet with Andie when she returned from vacation today and review the list of past employees who’d been fired or left under a cloud.
The banging of pans in the kitchen made its way through the open door of my bedroom, bringing my attention back to the man waiting for me.
When my insides twisted this time, it was with a completely different emotion—soul-deep longing.
While I couldn’t deny wanting him here, it was selfish to keep him close, especially when he had Theo.
The last thing Parker needed was to add my worries to his own.
What had Jim been thinking in calling him?
Parker had always insisted he never wanted to be a dad, yet he’d stepped up to the plate and taken Theo anyway because he was honorable.
Good down to his very marrow. If you could see a soul, Parker’s would be as bright as the heavenly gates themselves, pure and white and stunning.
Whereas mine would be marred with black.
I’d been born in betrayal, one of many committed by my ancestors. Did that darkness etch itself into a person? Did my insides look as hollowed and destroyed as the cabin had looked this morning? Would keeping Parker here so I didn’t feel quite so alone add another permanent dark mark?
I bit my cheek and closed my eyes against another rush of tears.
As much as I didn’t want to add to Parker’s burdens, his honor and bravery would prevent him from leaving me when he thought I was in danger.
The only solution was to identify who was responsible for this and put an end to it, so Parker could return home to his life and whatever new plans he was making for himself and Theo.
If I did nothing else right in the next few days, I promised myself it would be that.